I am Joan Joe  from the Niger Delta area of the country. I am just twenty five. I am charming and beautiful, I do not say this to praise myself, it had always been what people say of me, charming beauty. On my own side, God is good to me, I love to behold my face. I always see a beautiful me.
I am a graduate of  business Administration. I chose this because of my passion for business from my early days. I have been into business since I was in primary school, I spare you the detail of that but to my friends ,I am rich girl, having taking advantage of opportunities that avail on campus then Adekunle Ajasin University, Akungba. This spirit kept moving me to my service year and right now, I run my business successfully with the hope of having my third branch in Onitsha in Anambra state.
        One thing that had been of concern to me over the years is what prompted me to write this. I tell you in a whisper  'I need a love'. I know many people might had been wondering, what was she doing in those days in school, not even these days that secondary school girls already have a boyfriends? I guess someone might think, business girl. Whatever you think, you have the right to think so. I was into relationships but what I meet there was not what I needed. From the time I entered the campus, my charm had brought me to good looking guys and happening ones on campus.
     The first one was Jay B the short for Juwon Babalola. He was the son of a serving local government in Ondo state as at that time, he utilized it to fill his pocket. It reflected on the son, he was the toast of girls on the campus. He came to me as a fresher and looked serious. I was not suppose to give in but my friends held me in. I knew what I needed in any relationship before then, I knew it was love that I wanted and that would suit my life. I gave in expecting all that. His coming to me even when I was still battling whether to agree or not made me believe I will find that with him.  One week into it, he showed something else, he wanted me to spend the night in his room, share the weekend with him. His look at me was sex demanding, his eyes fixed on my unbursty burst with demanding look. I knew that was not for me, his real intention seemed to be my lovely body. So I ran, I got hooked to my book and always gave excuse not to be around and some scrap reasons. It fade away, he knew I do not wanted his style so he left. Later I got to know that he was one of the 'fresher's eaters'. Such of them on the campus, Go for freshers when they come in, trap those young girls and feed on them to them to renew their decayed blood. It was a thank God thing, I would have been eating.
       Godwin Eze was the next one, good guy, my church member. He cool in face , calm in attitude, looking as if did not to want anything emotion. He was the eater type with a sharp mouth. He wanted me the first night out. I tell you it was a narrow escape. I almost gave in to his cunning tongue, it sweetened  me on until I was stung by me. 'All pride will be gone in a night'.
    On the journey, I met some guys on my FB, they showed interest in me and I decided to play on. They talked sweet, you knew like a predator who wanted to catch a prey. Though I dread because of what had happen to some in the past, I was almost falling when they showed their interest. One morning, I woke up with FB message notification and lo, it was a nude picture of one of them. I was surprised, what was that for? Your open body, is that what you define love or something? His I love you message with quote and poem, was always coming in, now he showed his unknown body and he irritated me immediately. On his side, he wanted that I reciprocate his deed but I would never. The social media has make the world a global village, just at the press of the post button, my lovely self is in the view of all. No, nba o. His action was a demand for what he wanted, so I opted out by saying , you keep your body. I blocked him off and I felt bad for giving him few information about me.
The other ones were doing well but I already have an expectation of them. Just about when I wanted to bloom out again, Williams felt we have become close enough to share his mind. One late evening going to night. His message came. 'Honey, I am hurny...can we do the phone' The bell in my head rang again. What! Do gini? I was beginning to feel that this one was cool, then he came with the same thing. I rejected with a lie, God forgive my soul, and fade off him. Won't he see me before he began to do such thing even on phone, aye ti baje.
      My friends laughed at me, they said, what you are looking for does not exist. It was not as if I was picky, but I want to love and be loved and it seemed all were just not in this direction. My friends definition of love was sex, they package themselves to give their  guys their demands and they rate high with them but the moment the guys kind of see one who was better in such, they start to cheat and most times leave them for the better one. This kind of sex-love I don't like, so I flee from them. I was to a little extent willing to commit that sin with one, just a little of it but he must have put me first. I should be the priority and not my body. Most of these guys just want the pants down and the ladies are becoming used to it. So instead of preparing for love and it demand, they thought they can secure love with sex, for where? My simple demand is,  give me your love and you can have mine and this whole cherished body. True love is the key.
      It did not all end in school, through the camp, it was like that. The guys got attracted to me one way or the other, many wanted to come near. Some of their hearts were already programmed that way, beautiful girl are good when they open their laps. Won kiku ni kan se, just to relieve their body of tension. To them claiming 'holy' was old school things, they were ready to let go what burns in their body at any degree of acceptance, modern way of enslaving women, making her feel she would be accepted with her subjection  to his urge. The only thing she deserved as soon is the outpour of their urge. My friends were  used to that, they were like program for sex with what they had experience, they were not whores though but the men had given them the mind that your body first, no wonder many of those guys then never get satisfaction with the wife they married, they thought putting that first guaranteed a home, then they had a hell, then they complain, 'My wife is my head ache'. Which head, the head you did not utilized.

I even met one, Tosh, a perfect definition of gentle man but wild mind. I liked him at sight but at the opening of his mouth, I knew he was a wild eater. He was always invoking my attack and defence with a salivating mouth. Gently reminding me of those world of body and soul. My likeness wanted to pin me down with the emotion deceit but I fought my way out, his own was worst, he look like he cared but could devour as lion, what do I have to do with you, man of LovePeddler?
     Now I am burdened with this love. I want to love and be love. I do not put the last first, or the first last. But most of these suitors are sex box, the spirit of the moment, they mostly believe in the body and cared less about the heart.
Will you love me and my virtue, won't you take my charm for sex attraction, is there any man there of moderate height, good heart, self disciplined, who will not take me as a tool of working out his feelings, who would love me before the body? let him come my father's compound and knock at the gate, then he has a bride, that if he is not bellow the weight, not a desperado. I promise you will not meet a lie. If you pretend I will know,  I know their type in dark and grey.