I was having a discussion about marriage with a friend of mine who's been married for nearly 3 years. He insists a husband should never make the mistake of showing too much affection to the wife or over pampering her. He said that women take husbands who are too loving for granted.

He went further to say that women have the tendency to behave like kids, if you shower them with so much love, attention and kindness, that they will start misbehaving. That the best way to treat a woman is to be strict and firm, and not to be too mushy with them, else they'll disrespect you in the family. That is, even if you love your wife, don't say it, be a little Stern and reprimand them firmly whenever they err.

I'm single and looking to settle down in a few months time. I have always been the extremely romantic kinda guy. I love intensely. I can go to any length to show love to my partner. The kinda guy who will serve my wife breakfast in bed, bathe her, cuddle her, pamper her, help her with all the chores, never use harsh words with her, just smother her with love. Yes, I have always believed that the best way to receive love is to show it.

Apparently a lot of people believe that it's the wrong thing to do in a marriage, because that infantile tendency in women will materialize and the wife and will take you for granted.

Married folks in the house, what are your opinions. I want to have a perfect marriage, it'll be nice to have the best advice I can get from you.

If you don't show your wife love, who will you show it to?.

Skelewu:
I was having a discussion about marriage with a friend of mine who's been married for nearly 3 years. He insists a husband should never make the mistake of showing too much affection to the wife or over pampering her. He said that women take husbands who are too loving for granted.

He went further to say that women have the tendency to behave like kids, if you shower them with so much love, attention and kindness, that they will start misbehaving. That the best way to treat a woman is to be strict and firm, and not to be too mushy with them, else they'll disrespect you in the family. That is, even if you love your wife, don't say it, be a little Stern and reprimand them firmly whenever they err.

I'm single and looking to settle down in a few months time. I have always been the extremely romantic kinda guy. I love intensely. I can go to any length to show love to my partner. The kinda guy who will serve my wife breakfast in bed, bathe her, cuddle her, pamper her, help her with all the chores, never use harsh words with her, just smother her with love. Yes, I have always believed that the best way to receive love is to show it.

Apparently a lot of people believe that it's the wrong thing to do in a marriage, because that infantile tendency in women will materialize and the wife and will take you for granted.

Married folks in the house, what are your opinions. I want to have a perfect marriage, it'll be nice to have the best advice I can get from you.

What amount of Love is "TOO MUCH"?

Skelewu:
I was having a discussion about marriage with a friend of mine who's been married for nearly 3 years. He insists a husband should never make the mistake of showing too much affection to the wife or over pampering her. He said that women take husbands who are too loving for granted.

He went further to say that women have the tendency to behave like kids, if you shower them with so much love, attention and kindness, that they will start misbehaving. That the best way to treat a woman is to be strict and firm, and not to be too mushy with them, else they'll disrespect you in the family. That is, even if you love your wife, don't say it, be a little Stern and reprimand them firmly whenever they err.

I'm single and looking to settle down in a few months time. I have always been the extremely romantic kinda guy. I love intensely. I can go to any length to show love to my partner. The kinda guy who will serve my wife breakfast in bed, bathe her, cuddle her, pamper her, help her with all the chores, never use harsh words with her, just smother her with love. Yes, I have always believed that the best way to receive love is to show it.

Apparently a lot of people believe that it's the wrong thing to do in a marriage, because that infantile tendency in women will materialize and the wife and will take you for granted.

Married folks in the house, what are your opinions. I want to have a perfect marriage, it'll be nice to have the best advice I can get from you.

There is no perfect marriage.Just like mathematics is riddled with formulas,devise your own that is for you,by you and works for you.Going to maiduguri from Lagos is quite a distant trip,but every route and shortcut the traveller may decide to use will come with different experience,trials,tribulations and success.
My advice,create what will work for you.

In marriage, no amount of love is too much.

hourl:
What amount of Love is "TOO MUCH"?

I mean being too overt with the way you show her love.

Mutuwa:


There is no perfect marriage.Just like mathematics is riddled with formulas,devise your own that is for you,by you and works for you.Going to maiduguri from Lagos is quite a distant trip,but every route and shortcut the traveller may decide to use will come with different experience,trials,tribulations and success.
My advice,create what will work for you.

Thank you for the submission.

Different strokes for different folks, what works for you might not work for another, honestly speaking there are ladies that needs to be treated the way your married friend said while there are others who wants to be loved in every way and their humility will still be in check. Study whosoever you want to be with and find out what works for that person.





Personally I can't stand a strict or harsh man.

elantraceey:
Different strokes for different folks, what works for you might not work for another, honestly speaking there are ladies that needs to be treated the way your married

said while there are others who wants to be loved in every way and their humility will still be in check. Study whosoever you want to be with and find out what works for that person.





Personally I can't stand a strict or harsh man.

Spot on.

It's down to personality. Ladies are wired differently. Some will misbehave when the husband shows them too much love and care. They'll let that stoke their pride and act unreasonably, knowing that their loving husband will condone anything from them.

Others won't let the husband's love change their conduct.

Your friend is right.

Maybe the "Too much love "should be channeled to the other woman....Your friend married for 3yrs only, and he has become a marriage expert already...

Op, one thing i have observed with Nigerians is that they are good at cooking up different false opinions and many gullible people take those opinions hook, line and sinker without even trying to find out the truth. An intelligent person would first analyze anything he hears and possibly carry out a research on that before concluding whether that is true or false, but NO, we don't do that hear. We live our lives on so many fallacies and that is why many people have continued to suffer.

Now, did you ask your friend how many married couples he studied before arriving at that conclusion ? I'm sure he didn't study any. Maybe someone else sold that fallacious claim to him and now he has sold same to you and that is how the lie would continue to spread.

You should know that people are very different in this life. It is possible that one ungrateful woman would not appreciate a dotting husband, but that doesn't mean that women generally show such attitude. It is only a foolish person that would prefer being treated without love to being shown love.

So, my advice is for you to keep being yourself. Even if you meet such a lady who doesn't appreciate being loved, dump her with immediate effect. It is her loss not yours. For every of such ladies, there are thousands of others who would appreciate being loved by her man.

Women are truly strange creatures but that should not deter you from showing love to your wife.

For me personally, if I notice that the lady I intend to marry is the kind of woman that takes my extreme show of love to her for granted, I'll withdraw completely from her.

Alot of women cheat because they aint getting love and affection from there husbands. Dnt mind ur friend the truth is that he is not in love with anybody so he doesnt mind passing his negative vibes to another. We actually dont know why we care so much for pple we love . Love is never too much it just comes out the right or wrong time.

Yes, absolutely, you should be strict with your wife, or else she will trample on you.

Have you ever wondered why ladies love 'bad boys'? It's because bad boys can be callous and mean to them, yet they are still attracted and find them more attractive.

It's a psychological thing, women like men who are strict and firm and hardly tell them they love them. They feel they are dominant and manly.

If you show them love, especially too much love, they'll see you as a female. Being too loving makes you appear feminine and puny.

Treat your wife firmly and she'll respect you and never misbehave. She will always be in her best character and treat you like her god.

No amount of love is too much so far you are with the right person you love. Some people say this every time whereas they show more love than you can even imagine while leaving you to believe their lies

ur friend is talking based on whom he is married to.dont base the foundation of ur marriage based on someone's marriage.men who even rake outside their homes are the ones whom their wives are controlling inside

I was also told that the day I love a man is the day I would die

That men don't need love in any way. All they're there for is to provide for my needs. Never give love to your husband, else he'll take you for granted and give you shït to eat. Rather, respect him, and make sure you never spend a dime on him.

Lol... Everybody thinks they've got the opposite gender all figured out

Live by your rules and your rules only.

kimbraa:
If you don't show your wife love, who will you show it to?.

Maybe his side chick.

PLEASE, how much is too much LOVE...??
How do you QUANTIFY Love..?
Who quantifies LOVE..??

WHAT you call too much love may be stupidity in another man's context.....
Examples include..... I detest someone going on his knees to propose to a Lady....
................I detest public proposals.....
By the way that doesn't mean I don't love you....

Meanwhile, I can't imagine my lady carrying our child as well as our luggage
I can't stand someone insult my wife not even from my siblings...
I can't imagine my wife struggling in the rain....

I can't imagine the Labour pains she would go through..

No, nothing bad. In fact, I'm usually happy when I see that there are a few reasonable men left of our Nigerian men.

Just make sure the love isn't the choking/ monitoring type and that it isn't an obsession.

Everything is good in moderation, same as the issue of showing affection and love. Do not show excessive love to your spouse. Do it in moderation.

Who doesn't want to be treated like a king or queen?

You get what you give
If you give love
You get extra from your partner
If you give pain
You get hell


But love supersedes all

_____________
Love is morally desirable as it entails profound care for another person. It is hard to see how such positive care can be criticized. Nevertheless, people do criticize lovers and especially those whose love appears to be excessive. Can one tell one's beloved that he loves her too much?
Romantic love is described in idealistic terms as something huge, uncompromising, and without limitations. Statements like "The world has changed, everything is different now," "Loving him is wonderful; my whole being expands into unprecedented realms," "I am surrounded by nothing but you" are common among lovers. If "All you need is love," and "You are everything I need," then it is difficult to see how love can be criticized as being excessive.
_____________
There is indeed a view claiming that unlike other emotions, love cannot be criticized since it consists of disinterested care for the beloved, which involves promoting only her well-being. According to this view, the value of love is not determined, or at least not entirely determined, by its practical value as a means to achieve certain of the lover's ends; rather, it focuses upon the well-being of the beloved. Accordingly, we would not usually criticize a person who is deeply and happily in love with someone just because we think he could have found a better partner.
_______________

However, even if love were concerned solely with disinterested care for the beloved (and this is not obviously so), there is still the question of what constitutes proper caring. Love is not a merely theoretical attitude; it has profound behavioral implications for our life. And if such behavior becomes improper, then the issue of whether one can love too much might arise (contrary to the above view). Emotions might be harmful when they are excessive. Emotional excess is harmful for the same reasons that other kinds of excess are harmful. As in other emotions, excessiveness in love can impede the lover from seeing a broader perspective. Even normal cases of romantic love tend to create a narrow temporal perspective that focuses on the beloved and is often oblivious to other considerations. Accordingly, it has been argued that it is impossible to love and be wise and that the true opposite of love is justice. Little wonder then that, as Stevie Wonder puts it, "All in love is fair."
_______________
Although it is difficult to define what constitutes excessiveness in love, characterizing love as "too much" implies that some damage has been done-either to the lover or the beloved. When intense love blinds our sight and makes us act improperly, people may say that such intense love is too much. A remark such as, "I couldn't help it, I was madly in love with her," indicates that sometimes love can be excessive.
______________________
Loving too much can be problematic when it hurts the lover, which typically occurs in the long term. The lover's intense love might be excessive in the sense that it prevents her from realizing the true nature of their relationship. For example, her intense love might prevent her from noticing, or at least admitting, that his attitude toward her is humiliating or that their relationship has very little chance of surviving in the long term. Hence, contrary to the claim cited above, it is possible to criticize someone's intense love on the grounds that such intensity prevents him from seeing his partner's faults or from recognizing that he could choose another partner who might make him happier and more satisfied in the longer run. For this reason, classical art often depicts the God of love Cupid as blind indicating that lovers are blind to the faults or the unsuitability of the one they love.
__________
Lovers may also feel that they love too much when they believe that their beloveds do not love them to the same extent. When a lover feels that she gives more than she gets, she will feel that she loves her partner too much.
_________
If she feels that she gets more or less what she gives, the feeling of loving too much is unlikely to arise. Needless to say, love should not be a mechanical calculation of what we give and get, but where there is a profound lack of reciprocity, it is natural to feel one is loving too much, People who love too much often keep investing in a relationship that has no chance of surviving as their beloved does not love them to the same extent. Loving too much may also hurt the beloved.

______________
A typical example of this is when the lover does not allow the beloved to enjoy sufficient private space. This behavior occurs in minor forms in many relationships, although it is typically a characteristic of pathological cases. Thus, a man who killed his girlfriend (in his view, he did so out of love) said, "Once she said to me: you love me too much, and I don't like that. You invest so much." (see here). It should be noted that the wish to be with each other as much as possible is a main characteristic of love and not an external feature of it. The nature of the private space is determined by the given personalities and by other factors, such as the stage in which the relationship is currently. Thus, this wish may be more pronounced in the infatuation stage, when it makes little sense to accuse lovers of loving too much.
_______________
With regard to parental love, some might claim that loving a child too much could be harmful as it can spoil her. Others might argue that the problem here is not in loving the child too much, but in not understanding what is good for her in the short and long term. To this one might respond that it is precisely the nature of intense emotions not to realize the genuine nature of the given circumstances.
Profound romantic love is not in its nature excessively wrong; but some cases of such love have a greater chance of being so.

__________
The above view can be encapsulated in the following statement that a lover might express: "Darling, my love to you is so profound and intense and I will maintain it for the rest of my life. But if you feel somewhat uncomfortable with how I express this love, please whisper this in my ear, while not forgetting to also kiss it."


I hope una go understand oooo!!!

Your friend is telling you his opinion based on his own upbringing, experience and conclusion. He might not even be enjoying his marriage but he won't tell you.

You cannot treat your wife like she is a child to be disciplined and expect to be happy. Besides, there is always someone out there that will appreciate her and make her feel loved. She doesn't even have to sleep with the person but she will be drawn to him because he appreciates her.

Marriages should be based on personal choices or conviction by the couple not what another party thinks or says. I know a couple where the husband was asked to be strict with the wife so that she would respect him. The marriage is not really a happy one and the respect...story for another day.

Another couple i know are so playful with each other. They do everything together. The respect is there and their marriage will inspire you.

Just make sure you have a happy home. It is important for your well being.