Good morning all,
Sorry to bore you with my long epistle but i really need mature advice. I am a christian lady in her mid twenties who is ready to settle down. Ive been in 2 relationships. I ended the first one because my mum told me she spoke to some of her pastor friends about it and after prayers she was told that it isn't the will of God. I took a break,prayed and after a long while got into another relationship. Now my present partner is a God loving man, he has the spirit of God,doesn't have too much but gives me freely. He has encouraged me and built me up in so many ways too. He has taught me to be a better person not just by what he says but by what he does.My mum saw her pastor concerning him and again she was told that he isn't the will of God. Infact, was told that he will change and it will make me regret later in life,(about 3 of them have said it).Personally, I have peace with him . I have also had my own pastor (who has taught us how to stand in the place of prayer),my mentor and a few other brethren who have the spirit of God pray about it and they all confirmed my decision.We are planning to get married latest by june but my church needs my parents consent letter before we can start marriage counselling ,my partner also insists we must get their approval before going ahead. Funny thing is that my mum talks well with him and my mum has even told me that she can't find any fault in him but the whole pastors ish is her problem.I am really confused here as my parents have threatened to wash their hands off me and leave me in my own if I go ahead with the marriage

Smh... Ur mum/parent is the problem here, not the pastors.

hmm
This is how parents destroy their children's destinies by jumping from one pastor to another all in the name of protecting them

Sis,this is why I always advice people to establish a personal relationship with God Talk to Him personally He would reveal His plans for you.

I no even know wetin to talk again.

I pray God helps you and favors you

Wait o, u said God approved d relnshp thru ur own pastors and say something different thru ur mother's pastors ...Somebody must be lying. Believing in too many pastors will not only confuse you sis, it can scatter ur marriage in future. Be careful with pastors!

Since its a union forever, its worth getting lean over thru fasting. So I'll advice that u ignore what pastors and mummy are saying, put aside ur outlook and fashion and take a break of abt a week and pray hard urself. God always responds to calls/cries that comes deeply from the heart. If you don't see visions, he will show you in dreams what to do. Then you can seek counsel for dream interpretation afterwards.

Many singles are on different mountains inquiring from d Lord over matters like this. Do same and forget abt my pastor says...or my mummy says... Its you who wants to marry not your mother.

Is not a big issue sister,since u are a real christians fast and pray that God should reveal him for you within three days..If he is not ur hubby as ur mother pastor said tell God should reveal a sign within that days,after then if he is a way Go a head that is how mother normally do they will accept later after telling them what God reveal to u and u can pray along for God to touch their heart..


Note: if it's God sent

Why can't you ask God to reveal whatever it is to you to confirm if he is yours or not? Why relying on a pastor abi pastors for a lifetime decision. inukwa?
Sister if you love this man and you know he is good for you, Go to God in prayers , convince your parents, you're not getting any younger that is if you want to settle down and birth kids OR You continue allowing your mum's pastors to choose husband for you, then you maybe in your late 40's or 50's and them go never still see the right one for you.
Adult na em dey do this one? no be teenager?
ngwanu jisike!

Thanks for all the contributions. I personally have prayed and from the revelations/dreams I've had,plus counsel, I see this as God's will for me. Nothing is really guaranteed in this life and truly only God knows tomorrow.
The issue is my mum,she has turned a deaf ear and has said she won't approve until her own pastor gives her his go ahead. My dad is a no go area cos when it comes to spiritual things,he always takes my mums side. Besides,being the only girl in my family,i won't want to build my future home on.this foundation.
I am currently still praying on the issue and trusting God for this issue to be settled latest by the end of this month. But my Bobo has made it clear that we can't go ahead without my parents approval (tho he says it doesn't mean he will end d relationship....
.but how long will I keep him waiting)..
Once again thanks for all d words of advice.

Thanks for all the contributions. I personally have prayed and from the revelations/dreams I've had,plus counsel, I see this as God's will for me. Nothing is really guaranteed in this life and truly only God knows tomorrow.
The issue is my mum,she has turned a deaf ear and has said she won't approve until her own pastor gives her his go ahead. My dad is a no go area cos when it comes to spiritual things,he always takes my mums side. Besides,being the only girl in my family,i won't want to build my future home on this foundation.
I am currently still praying on the issue and trusting God for this issue to be settled latest by the end of this month. But my Bobo has made it clear that we can't go ahead without my parents approval (tho he says it doesn't mean he will end d relationship....
.but how long will I keep him waiting)..
Once again thanks for all d words of advice.

We are our own problem. I pity u sha...i hope u will not get old while waiting for ur mothers pastor to approve a husband for u cos u go change men tire be dat. Be wise girl...pastors are human beings like us. I wish u d best

speak to those people that can talk to your mum because I don't understand why you can't marry a man you love because your pastor says so. very soon the pastor might tell your mum he's the one chosen by God to marry you'

j

abertedze:
Thanks for all the contributions. I personally have prayed and from the revelations/dreams I've had,plus counsel, I see this as God's will for me. Nothing is really guaranteed in this life and truly only God knows tomorrow.
The issue is my mum,she has turned a deaf ear and has said she won't approve until her own pastor gives her his go ahead. My dad is a no go area cos when it comes to spiritual things,he always takes my mums side. Besides,being the only girl in my family,i won't want to build my future home on.this foundation.
I am currently still praying on the issue and trusting God for this issue to be settled latest by the end of this month. But my Bobo has made it clear that we can't go ahead without my parents approval (tho he says it doesn't mean he will end d relationship....
.but how long will I keep him waiting)..
Once again thanks for all d words of advice.

This is a serious fix and I just don't get how we have used religion to create a mess that didn't exist in the first place. Culture, common sense and tradition demand we get Parental consent and blessings so it's not advisable you go ahead with the marriage without their consent.

Since your mom said, "no pastor's go-ahead, no approval," I think you should first go and see your mum's Pastor. Ask him for what God has said about the union - the exact words. Then tell him about your own convictions. Let him understand you're not bent on the marriage but you need to be sure that you're getting God's message live and direct (This doesn't have to be completely true, it's just psychology).

So, you will then ask him politely to help pray to God on your behalf that God should show you personally that you can't marry your man. Use the example of Elisha praying to God to open Gehazi's eyes to see the invisible hosts of heaven.

Truth is some pastors misinterpret God's message. And some just speculate based on feelings and premonitions but not by the Spirit (of course they all call it spirit).

The outcome:
If he is a true man of God and God wants to use him for you, God will surely reveal that "don't marry" message to you as well after the pastor has prayed.
Now, if you don't get any message, go back to pastor and let him know there was no message. Chances are he may doubt himself if he is not full of himself, and he may change his message maybe. Or at least give your mom a go-ahead. At least, you would have made a move.

And whichever way, since you believe in prayers, pray your way out of the situation too. Ask God Himself to convince your mom if truly you're a match for the guy. Personally, I believe personal conviction, true love and inner peace in both the couple are the very foundation of a match.

Shalom!

thanks to people who have contributed to this.
my view is actually in two ways:
1.it seems you and your mother attend different churches causing a kind of confusion. if this is true, there may always be a problem even with the third person you will bring if you leave this present one. well later they may recommend who to marry for you in your mother's church.
but one thing is quite obvious. your mum is comfortable with this guy,right? if yes, talk to your parent separately especially your dad and plead your views with him. afterwards call a meeting with ur dad and mum and open up to them again about your love and peace towards him. also, invite this guy more often to your house so they can know who he is and how much he cares, if he really does anyway.
2. another thing worthy of emphasis is this:
the pastor's or whoever's opinion that there may be issues later after marriage with the person you marry is not found and baseless. every marriage will face its own storm. it now depends on how its foundation is laid and how the partners are prepared to fight for it. sure, no one need to be there because its for just two people. any other human help will result to nothing if both partners are not ready to work on their marriage.
above all, be ready to be responsible for the steps you take.

RELIGIOUS, MORAL AND TRADITIONAL SENTIMENTS are what’s stopping Nigeria, Africa from moving forward.

That’s why it always seems like it’s only the evil men that are successful.

“Your church needs your parents consent letter before you can get married”


Well it’s your life, your choice anyway.