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Why Always My Face And Never This Cattleman. A Nairalanders Xperience by ghostfacekillar(m): 9:57pm On Jan 09, 2018 |
There are people who can bring action against their faces and
recover full damages. I am one of them. If I could nerve up to
institute a court action against my face on defamation , I sure would
recover.
.
My face has been bearing false witness against me. It has been
publishing and spreading the lie that I am a chain smoker. That was
how I became a Jonah to the bus I boarded from Abuja to Enugu.
.
At the first checkpoint a burly and serious-faced officer imperiously
waved our bus down. Without manifesting the faintest interest in the
chaff into which our driver ingeniously tried to lure him, he
methodically paced round the bus, inspecting it with dutiful and
clinical seriousness. I knew that the hour would ultimately come,
and that customarily I would be separated for thorough searching. I
preserved a disaffected face to avoid betraying further implicating
streaks of nervousness. Calmly getting to the back, the officer stared
wide-eyed, in the character of a seeker suddenly overwrought by
revealing flashes of eureka. He paused automatically, taking a
longer and closer look, as if to flesh up his suspicion. He permitted
no further ceremony. I was ordered down.
.
I obeyed choicelessly, stepping down with knowing and light-making
suavity. He was firmly convinced that I had something to hide. His
search was unsparing. He searched my pockets. He searched my
bag. He sniffed at my hands for a whiff of the thing. He was
dissatisfied when he was done and began again. If it was possible,
he would have opened my head to check for traces of India hemp. As
I made to leave after his unrewarded efforts, he doubtfully leered at
me, not as a vindicated man but as an Artful Dodger escaping the
law on technical grounds.
.
The driver took off again in a heedless road rage. After a few strikes
of the cloack we halted before another Checkpoint. The officer here
was fair-complexioned and eminently carried the mark of his tribe or
family. There was no sterness in his manner. Unlike the mean and
matter-of-fact officer of the first checkpoint, he was rather
permissive and indulgent. That notwithstanding, he was arrested by
my ever-implicating face. He left me for the time being and
perfunctorily regarded other passengers. Having fulfilled all
righteousness with my bus mates , he civily beckoned me down for
frisking.
.
He was not contented after he searched and found nothing.
Misgivings still amusingly lurked in his breast. " where you keep
am? ", he asked light-heartedly. Not allowing me to tell him where
the thing was kept, he added coaxingly: " we fit share am, I no go
give you wahala", he concluded with a comraderie wink that
trustedly welcomed me into a conspiracy. Warm-heartedly too, I told
him that I would have gladly shared it with him if I had any left, the
problem being that I smoked the last wrap I had on me before
boarding. He smacked my shoulder friendly and shouted: " bad boy,
you fit go now".
.
A woman sat beside me and ate industriously. She was moderately
chiselled and could even be called slim when weighed on the
ponderous African scale. Her hairstyle was the strange thing. I had
looked at it at first with a mingled feeling of contained alarm and
mild dread. It was fantastically long and embowering. One thought
that it was fashioned to sit on the head of an important masquerade.
As I clambered in after that second frisking, half-mortified and
grinning, she gave me a sidelong glance and imploringly looked the
driver's side as if to ask : " When shall we throw this Jonah
overboard? ". I caught her meaning. And amusedly wondered if a
whale had been appointed to preserve me in the tranquility of its
belly.
.
I was just wondering this morning why my face is ever visible to the
security forces of this country and why this arms-loaded cattleman
is as invisible to them as a needle in a haystack. Perhaps, my face is
a greater threat to the nation. |
Re: Why Always My Face And Never This Cattleman. A Nairalanders Xperience by ghostfacekillar(m): 9:57pm On Jan 09, 2018 |
Cc. Lalasticlalala |
Re: Why Always My Face And Never This Cattleman. A Nairalanders Xperience by ghostfacekillar(m): 9:58pm On Jan 09, 2018 |
Cc. Mynd. People need to read this 1 Like |
Re: Why Always My Face And Never This Cattleman. A Nairalanders Xperience by Nobody: 7:39am On Jan 10, 2018 |
Picture of your face or adonbilivit |
(1) (Reply)
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