A LADY'S WORLD (Part 1)

As I watched three men whom I didn't recognize put the coffin of my mum into the grave, i felt sorrow engulf the marrows of my soul. It was an agony I couldn't bear. The sorrow felt so real and alive, but unlike my father and my younger siblings I wasn't crying. My eyes felt moist but tears wouldn't drop. Perhaps the tear was simply waiting for me to accept the fact that mum was gone. But there was no conviction in my heart. I believed mum was at home and that when I got home, her tender smile accompanied with her elegant dimple would welcome me. I believed mum would hug me call me her most precious queen, kiss me and lead me to have dinner. I strongly believed the ever invigorative mum was waiting for me so we could have some chit chat about boys. Yes, mum was just too wonderful to be in that horrible coffin.
Like the lady i was trained to be, i stood my ground and took everything in. People were breathing the air of death, tears was like an unstoppable water fall. The men without tears wore a face that looks like one of those ancient ugly Benin mask. What caught my attention was Aunt Amma my mum's sister rolling beside the grave and sorrowing profoundly. It seemed totally funny to me because aunt Amma loathed my mother. I pictured myself as death, seeing people demonstrate this act of melodrama because of me, I immediately felt like a god.
My legs were numb and I realized I had not moved since the funeral began. I stared at my father as his shaky hands opened a paper. His elegy was long and the words he said past my ears without sticking to my head. Before rounding up, my Father said something that caught me "honey I will not get married again, in honour of your love, I will carry the undying flames of your affection". This was a lie, my father was a pig. And just like every other persons here, he looked so pathetic even in the sight of death.
My heart skipped a beat when pastor Henry called me forward. As the first born i was also going to say something about mum. I needed no preparation for this nor a paper, i was confidence of my public eloquence. I was brief. "mum you are not dead, this is just an unnecessary drama because when I get home, I will find you waiting". The atmosphere became tense and totally silent. The depressed faces were automatically replaced with bewilderment. I cared not.
Without waiting for my father to pack the car, I dashed out of it. I sprinted into the house, screaming my strength out. "Mum, mum! Am home" I screamed more urging her to answer me. I ran to her room, she wasn't there. Oh she would be in the kitchen, I smiled jogging my way to the kitchen but she wasn't there. I finally got to the dining room, the table was empty and dusty, it hadn't been used in a while. I involuntarily said "mum is gone, mummy is dead". And there it came the conviction. I cried all night.
Adumati olumide