Oh boy, if una see wetin do me day before yesterday, you go pity me o. I know say i no suppose post am for here but wetin i go do nah? Una be my people so i go yarn una.

My young people out there, if person give u ganja tell u make u smoke and u never smoke am before, abeg una, no smoke am o.

On tuesday evening, as i close work, me and my friends enter one yeye joint go enjoy ourselves. We order everything, plus weed inclusive. I no wan smoke am but dem force me smoke am. Well, wetin i go do? I tell them say i never smoke am say na just small make them wrap give me. Them wrap small give me o. As i smoke the thing finish, i no even feel anything. I come ask them say why i no dey feel anything nah? Them talk say if na your first time, you no go feel anything. Well, i just bone.

Small time, we just dey drink, dey chop, dey enjoy ourselves. Na him your guys open 50naira wrap of igbo, come pour am for hand, come chop am o(i heard it was more effective and longlasting when taken orally. Little did i know). Guys come dey ask me say na why i chop am nah? I just tell them say make them no worry. Well, nothing do me for the next 2hrs o. By this time, i don enter house, dey watch news, dey prepare for sleep.

Then small by small, i begin notice say everywhere dey spin small small. I just bone just dey watch tv dey go. After sometime, i felt a bit thirsty, i walked to the fridge in the kitchen, and as i walked towards the fridge, it appeared to be miles away. I got there and you know what? I was very aware of what i was doing. I picked up a satchet of pure water, looked at it, dropped it back, picked up another, and did the same. I dunno how long i spent there but i noticed that finally, i i was walking toward the parlour holding one in my hand and drinking it. A thought crossed my mind when i was drinking the pure water and watching tv. That thought was, "exactly what the fork was i doing when i was picking and dropping the satchets of pure water". I tried to remember exactly why i was acting that way. And you know what? The more i tried to think abt the whole pure water experience, the more the thought seemed hazy and far away. I was watching news, but the moment the newscaster made some comments, i registered those comments, but seconds later, i seemed to forget what was said. Now i forking began to panic. I thought i was going mad. I tried to calm myself. I just told myself that it would pass. After sometime, my whole body began to tingle like there were tiny bits of fire on my hands, legs and back. I had to lie down for some time and next thing i knew, it was like a force began to fling the tingling fire around my body. Oh boy, i begin fear o, cos i felt my heart was heavy and skip several beats. I begin confess all my sins to Jesus Christ cos i felt i was going to have a heart attack and die.

LWKMD
Sorry mehn, there's always a first time.

I just dey pray say make God forgive me for all my sins and that God should remove these weird feeling from my body. And you know what? HALLEUYAH!! E be like say God wan show me. The feelings even got 10times worse. I began to feel hot and cold at the same time. Inside my body was very hot but outside, i was feeling very cold. I stood up to switch off the ceiling fan, and i fell down like a forking log of wood. I was very aware of what i was doing, saying and feeling but it seemed that i couldnt control myself. Then it occured to me that i was saying and blabbing a lot of rubbish but the funny thing was that i was aware of my words but i could not control myself. Instead of waking my housemate up(the rational thing to do), i went next door and started banging their door till my neighbour(a guy who was a good friend of mine) came out. I began to explain what happened but by now, i was beginning to hear my voice echoing in my head. The light streaming out from his apartment seemed to be like a floodlight and the whole atmosphere was like i was both underwater and in a tunnel(pls guys this is what i can remember). Also i remember telling him how the evening went and also how his face just stared at me as if i was mad. Then i began to tell him repeatedly that he should not think that i was mad, i noticed that i kept repeating, "dont think im mad, im not mad." I tried to stop saying it but the more i tried to stop, the more i said it. I felt as if my mind was locked up somewhere in my head and just observing things, while my body just acted out of its own freewill. After talking to him for sometime, i noticed that he slowly began to back away from me. Even though he backed away slowly and with style, i clearly noticed it. Everywhere seemed bright and clear, but i was not myself. I then grabbed him and began to hug him and tell him that he should not run away from me cos i was not mad. He pushed me away and told me to just go and sleep. I then began to ask myself exactly why i was saying and doing all these. Then a thought occured to me, "dude u r going mad. This is how it happens." I then remember 2 guys in my former estate who took igbo and then koloed. I remember seeing one of them once(fine botty boy) running around the estate stark naked and screaming. I remembered one of the Zule zoo(kerewa) guys that ran mad after smoking igbo. I then began to lament and panic and tell myself that i was running mad. Oh boy, na im i come siddon for ground come dey hold my head and cry. By this time my housemate had woken up and come out. He and my neighbour were talking and just staring at me like a mad man. I told them that i was not mad that they should help me. They then decided to soak gari for me. I told them that i will not drink it, and i began to talk a lot of rubbish that i cant remember till now.

This should be in crime section.It is drug related

I cant remember how but i happened to see myself back in my apartment and lying on the sofa, with my housemate trying to persuade and force a bowl of gari down my throat. I kept refusing but he kept doing so. By this time my mind was gone. I was talking a lot of s.hi.t which i remember now but dont understand why i was saying them. I told them to call my parents, call pastor Adeboye, hide all the sharp objects in the house cos i felt like killing myself, call my siblings cos i wanted them to forgive me for all the bad things i did to them, to give me water cos i was thirsty, and to pray for me cos my chest was hot, etc. Well, they prayed for me(thankfully, my housemate is a good christian) and you know what, as he did, he used anointed oil on my head, chest and as he prayed, i noticed that i kept retching and vomiting and the symptoms began to reduce. Oh boy, i begin confess all the bad things whey i don do for this life. See as i dey use my own hand open my own yansh. I confessed a lot of things which till now i am ashamed to remember, and now they know these things. Kai! See wetin weed do me. I began to feel better and my mind began to clear and i felt myself returning back to my body cos my mind seemed to be far away all this time. I felt like my body was being used by somebody else and that i was an just repeating what the weed was doing to me. It felt like i could see a few seconds into the future. Well, long and short, after some time my head began to clear and i was given more gari and more prayers. I then relaxed and was told to have a bath and sleep a bit. I did that and in the morning, it felt as if an elephant had sat on my body and head. I thought that all what happened was a dream and i had to ask my guy if it was a dream which he said was a reality. Oh boy, throughout yesterday(wednesday), my body seemed to be floating on air. I no fit even go work o. I just laid down all day in a hazy environment. This morning, i woke up well. Oh boy, i no go ever get anything to do with weed again o. Make una no do drugs o, e go make you kolo.

I have spoken. Those that have ears, let them hear.

hisss at topic

I nearly died laughing at this!

Why in the blazes would you eat weed your first time taking it?
Injesting weed will have u 10x higher 10 x longer, like taking PCP
ur body will float and u will have halluciantions, and u will be so high u dont want to be high anymore.

Your friends should have warned you, they are not your friends.
Sorry about that experience though.
Drugs are bad

@platinumnk- gosh! Girl! I was forked up. My whole configuration was like messed up. Thank goodness u understand me plat. Oh boy see as i dey misbehave like madman. Na sneak i sneak chop the thing o. Na after i chop am, na im i tell boys. I no go ever get anything do with igbo ever again.

LMAO. Dude u make it sound awful, cos' it was your first tyme. IT's n stages .Try reading bout it online or watch it on NAT GEO, u ll find out it aint dat bad. Its actually good when u ar stressed out.

@spawnx- i spent the whole of yesterday researching and most of what i read spelt true for my experience. Whether it is in stages, whether it is good for the body or anything, i aint smoking or eating that s.hi.t anymore.

as funny as dis souns,it teaches a whole lott a lesson.guy thanx ang i happy for u

LMAO
If I were to be your roommate, I swear you for don dey you-tube by now
lol

@chinesedoll- lol. Thank goodness u aint my roommate. I can assure u that was a very strong type of weed. I no go ever do am again.

Pornodude:

@chinesedoll- lol. Thank goodness u aint my roommate. I can assure u that was a very strong type of weed. I no go ever do am again.

LOL
No oooo try it once more so that you can really understand how it works.
Your roommate should have at least made use of his camera phone jor!!!

chinesedoll:

LMAO
If I were to be your roommate, I swear you for don dey you-tube by now
lol

that would be the funniest shhhh ever!!!!!!!

Pornodude:

@platinumnk- gosh! Girl! I was forked up. My whole configuration was like messed up. Thank goodness u understand me plat. Oh boy see as i dey misbehave like madman. Na sneak i sneak chop the thing o. Na after i chop am, na im i tell boys. I no go ever get anything do with igbo ever again.

U dey kolo!
Who told u to eat it? U should have rolled another one if u still didnt feel anything. And on top it was potent Im surprised u didnt go mad lol it would really sent u to yabaleft oo

But its good Stay away from drugs mehn, though many A+ Scholars at my school use it on the low
with an experience like that I wouldnt touch it either

LOL your houseboy did a good thing, when ure like that the best thing is to lie down, standing up makes it worse as the THC is rushing through your virgin bloodstream.

Dont ask me how I know these things, u learn this in Freshman year in college

@platinumnk- thank you. Thank you ooo. I don hear you. No turn this thing to yab. I forked up. I know this, and i regret it. Ok. Dont turn it into abuse pls. Thanks. U r really smart.

Pornodude:

@platinumnk- thank you. Thank you ooo. I don hear you. No turn this thing to yab. I forked up. I know this, and i regret it. Ok. Dont turn it into abuse pls. Thanks. U r really smart.

Thanks ma broda I na dey advice you  wait a month and try again, but no chop am abeg 

Wait . . . Im confused ooo, when u vomited ur symptoms should be reduced slightly . . as it was already processed in your blood stream. . as the potency is in the crystals . . .


ARE U SURE NA UR FRIENDS DIDNT PUT SOMETHING EXTRA ?

Lwkmd
I didnt vomit the weed when vomited. I vomited only gari without any weed following cos it was like almost 3hours since i chewed it.

LWKMD X100       

you chop 50naira weed on your very first attempt??
are you high ?? wait a minute . . . don't answer that 

you are very lucky to be SANE and ALIVE
this is a sure sign that God loves you and wants you to be a Pastor/ Envangelist
so you know what to do

LMFAOAPIMP     

N.B
I did a tobacco stunt once in my fresh man year
me and my friends used the tobacco in Benson to cook
i was wasted for 3 days 

Pornodude, pele o! I am happy you had this experience so next time you will keep off.
Weeds are better taken at an early age, dem no dey learn how to be left handed for old age.
So all your years of growing up in Waffi you no take small something at all at all?

LOL at replies

@mykali- i didnt know o. Na God save your guy o. E be like say i dey kolo because i just dey talk all kind of rubbish and i could not control myself.

@hbabe- my sister, i be good boy when i dey young o. Na force dem force me this time o. I no wan do am but na devil wan fork me up on tuesday ooo. Kai! God loves me o.

platinumnk:

LOL at replies

Babez, if I catch you I will force you to take two wraps.
I no dey hear your gist again.

@Pornodude
Keep being a good boy, jare.
Not everyone has the head for igbo, some people have been known to run mental at first taste while others just balance gidigba na standard bank. God has saved you, go and smoke no more.

Thy son has maketh up his mind to smoketh no more. Amen.

@pornodude, at least u don learn lesson anywhere where u sight cannabis u go pick race be that

Pornodude:

@mykali- i didnt know o. Na God save your guy o. E be like say i dey kolo because i just dey talk all kind of rubbish and i could not control myself.

as one poster said, there's always a first time for everything
same thing happened to me first time i started to drink and i mixed drinks
. . .star, guldar, chelsea, squad, wiv Benson.
the hangover was a disaster, but it passed
now i'm used to it so i can drink what i want
the next time you do it, you'll be safe . . . .i think  

as funny as this sound I feel sorry for u, u need to see a doctor there some hard drug
in your body dude

btw There nothing sexual about this, why is it in the sexuality sec

^^^this is the only section where he has ''friends''

mykali:

^^^this is the only section where he has ''friends''

when did u turn into a mean asszz LOL

^^^since i joined the Nairaland Sexuality Section