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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / WEB...Travails of a detective. (26961 Views)
First Middle-grade Mystery/detective Novel Series By An African Writer / THE WITNESS (A Detective Kolapo Story) / THE CHASE (A Detective Kolapo Story) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by d4real890(m): 5:09pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
what a nice story u got here,keep it coming bro
More ink to your pen 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by harjibolar10(m): 7:48am On Mar 09, 2018 |
jhurney:SPACING is one of the essential factors, that needed to be put in consideration in Literature... Boss, beside that, You have a wonderful piece here sir Keep em coming bro 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by Nobody: 8:41am On Mar 09, 2018 |
You good to go bro, nice story 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 12:41pm On Mar 09, 2018 |
harjibolar10:Thank you sir.. Should i increase or reduce the spacing? |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 1:18pm On Mar 09, 2018 |
EPISODE SIXTEEN In this academy, every graduating set is addressed as a class and there is always someone to be referred to as the top of each class. For the first time in the history of this academy, a female is among the top three of this graduating class. Join me in appreciating the number one and the top of his class. Cadet inspector/Detective Mathews james. I was all smiles as i heard my name sound from the mouth of the commandant, i pecked mum and rubbed tolu on the head as i proceeded to the front for my medal, The master of ceremony further called Tayo and tinu as the second and third respectively. We shook hands and hugged eachother as we smiled for various cameras eager to capture our faces. I was finally free from the daily drills, the unending push-ups, the never satisfying meals...i just couldn't help but shed tears, mother was the happiest, she was probably happy i came back in one piece, tolu also kept on laughing and i saw she was eager for gists again. I won a car from the governor of the state where our academy was located and lots of monetary prizes. I yawned as i rolled on the bed to check the time, it was thirty minutes after eight in the morning, been a while i slept this long'' i thought to myself. Mum and tolu went back home already while i waited behind so i could bring the car home the following day, Ayo was the one to drive the car as i was not yet competent. I was about picking my phone to call him when the phone rang out, i checked the screen and saw that ayo was the one calling, i eagerly picked the phone. hey james, i'm at the gate and they refused to let me in. i'm on my way, i replied before terminating the call. I half walked and half ran to the gate as ayo sounded desperate on the phone. By the time i got to the gate, they already let ayo in and great was my embarrassment when the policemen guarding the gate started shouting number one and kept on repeating it. I just waved as i signalled to ayo to advance towards me. I greeted my instructors and every important personnels in the academy before i finally left in company of ayo. Ayo was behind the wheel in my Plymouth Barracuda... 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 1:20pm On Mar 09, 2018 |
Blackfreedom:Thank you.. 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by Ayoshewa12(f): 3:37pm On Mar 09, 2018 |
Nice update but short. 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 7:57pm On Mar 09, 2018 |
Ayoshewa12:The next one should be longer ma.. 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by harjibolar10(m): 8:25pm On Mar 09, 2018 |
jhurney:Increase it sir... And, please try work on punctuation as I pointed out above, you get am nah Anywhere, that looks more like a conversation, just try making it more dramatic by using quotation mark (" and so on... Jah bless boss That's why you are the boss... Kontunu 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 4:52am On Mar 10, 2018 |
harjibolar10:But sir, you'll pardon me if there ain't much changes in that punctuation aspect....Asides knowing the use of comma and some other basic ones, That shit is my weakness in English language. But i get your point, and i will work on it. I really appreciate you sir. |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by harjibolar10(m): 9:19am On Mar 10, 2018 |
jhurney:Boss, I understand you... And you are welcome oya, let's go there |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by mayorbch(m): 10:20am On Mar 10, 2018 |
Bros, I love your story line. Jisike 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by souloho19(m): 10:27am On Mar 10, 2018 |
jhurney: This is the worst mistake someone can ever make, chai! ride on bruv 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 12:46am On Mar 11, 2018 |
EPISODE SEVENTEEN It was during the journey that ayo told me how he was able to get the identity of the person pictured with my late father. He got the information from an online internet forum after searching for informations in the crime section of the forum. He also told me how he hit a dead-end in the murder case and was laid off the case. We gisted about a lot of things and he really kept my company as we travelled back to lagos. The way he switched gears and sped on the smooth road amazed me and i decided the first thing i will do during the long break is to take my driving lessons. i had forgotten about my father as at then... We passed through lots of police checkpoints on our way and we took turns to show our identity cards so we could prove to eachother which agency was superior, the SSS or the police. We had no trouble with the police after identifying ourselves, one of the policemen even recognised me. Said he saw my name along with my picture in the latest edition of the leading newspaper in the country. I was a celebrity overnight... Ayo left for his house the following day, he insisted on staying behind since he was on leave, he was to report back to his agency the following month. So there was enough time for us to catch fun and more importantly, take my driving lessons. Tolu was finally in school after staying at home for close to four years. She was offered admission at the prestigious university of Nigeria nsukka. I was able to perfect my driving skills before ayo went back to his station, i took time to take mum anywhere she wanted to go. My car was always a centre of attraction and i flaunted it whenever i was chanced, the speed coupled with it's structure attracted peoples attention. I toured the streets of lagos, made new friends and tried hard to be social. After waiting for a year, i was finally posted to ogun state, sango to be precise. Two uniforms was allocated to me alongside an M16 rifle. I proceeded to sango to check myself in, and i was successful in getting a self-contained apartment that was quite far from my station, i was less bothered by this since i had my plymouth by my side, a luxury most of my colleagues weren't chanced to possess. By the following week, i was officially a police man... And this is where the STORY begins.. 3 Likes |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 12:58am On Mar 11, 2018 |
EPISODE EIGHTEEN Your i.d please, the policeman by the gate asked me as i stopped the car. here it is, i said smiling. Oh, you are the new guy? He questioned me. Yes, i replied. You can drive in, he said as he returned my i.d. I slowly drove in and scanned for a free parking space, there was just enough space beside a 'volvo 240' to place my car. I took a deep breath and slowly studied the police station, there was the vast flowers planted in front of the building and the operational vehicles scattered around. I stepped out of my vehicle, turned in my flying shirt and tapped the lock button on my key holder. With my heart in my mouth, i slowly made my way to the entrance. I was about entering the station when i looked behind and of course, my car was the odd one out. Welcome Detective” the lady at the counter voiced after i greeted her, the D.p.o said you should report to him immediately you resume this morning. I nodded in reply to every greeting directed towards me as i walked briskly towards the d.p.o's office. I knocked slightly and waited for his response before i entered. “Inspector james, top of his class, born and bred in lagos, twenty-two year old, blah blah blah....The d.p.o cried out” I must confess, you are the first police academy graduate to grace this station, most of the others are recruits and i'm nothing less than impressed, you are welcome into our midst. He added, Thank you sir and i promise to serve this country with all i've got. Well, we've all said that before, he replied with a grin before picking up his mobile phone. Sergeant john, see me in my office right now. I heard the D.p.o say into the phone. In a matter seconds, a lanky dude walked in, he quickly winked at me before saluting the d.p.o., “sergeant” you will be sharing your office with the new guy, show him round and help him settle down. Yes sir, john replied as he signalled at me to follow him. So, i think you know my name already. Yes, he called you john, I replied, i'm james, james matthews. I added. Ooh, we already know, we've been told one hotshot has been posted here. We heard you came top of your class, nice meeting you mate, john said as he grabbed my hand for an handshake. Yea, me too i replied. He brought out a key as we neared a door, our office is the last in the building and i'm pleased to share with you, john said as he turned the door knob... 2 Likes |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 1:06am On Mar 11, 2018 |
I'm sorry for all irregularities whatsoever in the story.
Thank y'all.
more comments please, help me to improve. 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by Ayoshewa12(f): 10:19am On Mar 11, 2018 |
Thanks for the update. 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by greatlinda(f): 1:46pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
Thanks for the update 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by EkopSparoAyara(m): 3:20pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
jhurney:Your doing great,for me I think it's your tenses you have to work on.. Secondly, the details are too much,reduce some. Bravo Jhurney.. 2 Likes |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by EkopSparoAyara(m): 3:20pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
The real deal just begun for Matthew James.. 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by queenitee(f): 7:36pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
Hmmmm 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by harjibolar10(m): 8:56pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
jhurney:Since you asked for it, I've decided to just overlook it before, well... The conversation aspect of your story, is what I think you stil have not get kwa. Let's do it like this... Try to space out wherever that conversation ensue, even without quotation sign, what I mean is that, start in another line, what another character in the story said..... You can check up some stories like... https://www.nairaland.com/1977500/friday-13th-assassins-creed/2 Check the update on that page, and see what I mean Beside that, you're good to go 2 Likes |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 10:35pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
harjibolar10:I think i've gotten your point. Thank you. |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 10:38pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
EkopSparoAyara:Noted . Thank you 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 10:46pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
where's cadec? 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by d4real890(m): 11:15pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
how I wish d way you describe sango police station is looking nice as it is but alas ko joor Well-done bro, let me go grab a bottle of origin and suya before my police guy will update again. wink 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by jhurney(m): 11:57pm On Mar 11, 2018 |
d4real890:Nice combination sir d4real890:Nigeria will be great.. Nice combination sir 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by harjibolar10(m): 4:52pm On Mar 12, 2018 |
jhurney:No problem sir 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by Cadec007(m): 6:28pm On Mar 12, 2018 |
jhurney:pardon me o for the long abscence.........i never intended to stay out this long.,.....thanjs for the update.,.....now the story begins......ride on bros 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by Canme4u(m): 7:16pm On Mar 12, 2018 |
jhurney: Nice update bro...nice story 1 Like |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by paqman: 8:37pm On Mar 13, 2018 |
jhurney:we got your back man, person wey no mention our name self we endorse in work talkless of say you mentioned #paqman# 2 Likes |
Re: WEB...Travails of a detective. by EkopSparoAyara(m): 12:08am On Mar 14, 2018 |
MA bro Jhurney,where are thou??
Hope all is well?? 2 Likes |
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