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The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria - Family - Nairaland

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The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 3:00pm On Mar 05, 2018
The Effect Of The Expensive Concept Of Marriage We Have Adopted.

Honestly, I don’t want to post this because I’m not that good in writing, but let me give this a try.

I’ve heard stories from my grand ma how marriage was done during their time. According to her stories, it was simple, interesting and desiring. Quite different from what we do now.

Although I’ve heard people saying marriage ought to be difficult so that the man can value/appreciate the woman, but I doubt if this is true anyway.

Based on my observation, these are the effect of the kind of expensive marriage concept we have adopted. It seems it has enslaved us.

1. High rate of pre marital sex

I am not justifying pre marital sex, but I’m sure the rate of pre marital sex wouldn’t be so high if every marriageable bachelor/spinster can easily get married.
Like that kind of Romeo and Juliet kind of wedding lol.

2. Late marriage

Apart from those who are financial capable, but have no interest in marriage or haven’t met someone of their choice, majority of the youth who are of marriageable age have no means to get married.

3. Marring the wrong person

Sometimes, most especially ladies ended up marring someone who can afford their marriage rite and not someone they really desire to be with.
That’s why some people are married to someone else while they love another person.

4. Poverty

How can a young man keeping working hard, saving his money only for him to spend all that in one day all in the name of marriage? The worst part, after everything, he’ll start all over again but this time, it’s going to get more difficult because more responsibilities have come in.

5. Over rating Marriage

I don’t know how to put this, it’s so annoying the way some takes marriage. Some see marriage as the greatest achievement of their life. Some people’s dream, aspiration, career all come to an end immediately they’re married. Maybe because the cost of marriage is expensive and demanding so it’s being over rated. Knowing that there’s more to life than just marriage

What is your own opinion about this?
Do you think it’s ok so that men could value women more?

If you think it’s not ok, what way forward can you suggest so it could be simpler for everyone to easily achieve without committing crime?
Do you think the media have a role to play in this in educating the people?


Please overlook my typing errors and don't quote my write up. thank you

33 Likes 5 Shares

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by benzion72(m): 4:44pm On Mar 05, 2018
We have adopted
i. Dating, you can be fucking somebody for years without any marriage proposal
ii. Introduction carrying of letter of intention
iii.Engagement carrying of all manners to the bride house with Alaga iduro and Alaga ijoko who will be squeezing money out of both side
iv. Church wedding all alter minister must be settled, and you must give appreciable gift to the Church
v. Reception where money is wasted, blown and food and drink is served to the max

Most young men are still saving toward wedding. Which is killing so many relationship. Some ladies are not even helping the matter they have list of requirment that a man must have before wedding, car, flat etc. They forgotten to asked their dad how he started

I love Tai solarin wedding style, he called a passer by to withiness his wedding to Sheila Solarin no funfare

54 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 9:16pm On Mar 05, 2018
oh. we have really adopted so many things.
Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 9:59pm On Mar 05, 2018
Bros the thing tire me sef.

I have decided to do only the traditional marriage rites,no white or court wedding.

45 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:27am On Mar 06, 2018
You've made complete sense. But sometimes, certain things beyond us compel us to conform to the norm.

9 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by project4OO: 11:48am On Mar 06, 2018
Rightly said

2 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by CAPSLOCKED: 12:49pm On Mar 06, 2018
benzion72:

We have adopted
i. Dating
ii. Introduction carrying of letter of intention
iii.Engagement carrying of all manners to the bride house with Alaga iduro and Alaga ijoko who will be squeezing money out of both side
iv. Church wedding all alter minister must be settled, and you must give appreciable gift to the Church
v. Reception where money is wasted, blown and food and drink is served to the max

Most young men are still saving toward wedding. Which is killing so many relationship. Some ladies are not even helping the matter they have list of requirment that a man must have before wedding, car, flat etc. They forgotten to asked their dad how he started

I love Tai solarin wedding style, he called a passer by to withiness his wedding to Sheila Solarin no funfare


AND THE WOMEN WHO CONTRIBUTE ALMOST NOTHING, IN MOST CASES ARE USUALLY THE COMMANDANTS HERE..
"MY BRIDE PRICE THIS, HER BRIDE PRICE THAT".
"I CAN'T MARRY A POOR MAN, I WANT A COSTLY ENGAGEMENT RING".
"MY WEDDING MUST BE BIG, I WANT TO SHAKE THIS TOWN"
"LINDA MUST BLOG IT. I DON'T WANT TO BE SUFFERING IN MARRIAGE".

..."BUT, BUT,.. I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR BY MARRYING YOU".





IF THE EXCUSE FOR PAYING BRIDE PRICE IS TO SHOW GRATITUDE TO THE PEOPLE WHO RAISED THE WOMAN,

I SEE NO REASON WHY THERE SHOULDN'T BE GROOM PRICE AS WELL
THE WOMAN HAS TO PAY TOO, TO SHOW GRATITUDE TO THE PEOPLE WHO RAISED THE MAN, OR DID SPIRITS RAISE HIM?


PAYING BRIDE PRICE IS AN ANCIENT MENTALITY.
............ WOMEN WERE SEEN AS PROPERTIES THAT COULD BE BOUGHT AND OWNED, SO OUR FOREFATHERS LITERALLY "BOUGHT" ANY NUMBER OF WIVES THEY WANTED.


IT'S A SHAME THAT WOMEN WANT AN EQUAL STATUS IN MARRIAGES. THEY COMPLAIN HOW ONLY THEM DO HOUSEWORK AND COOK AND TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS, WHILE THEIR HUSBANDS ONLY RELAX (AFTER GOING OUT TO HUSTLE O)
BUT STILL EXPECT MEN TO "BUY" THEM FROM THEIR FAMILIES, AND BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE BILLS UNTIL HE DIES.

THAT'S SELFISHNESS. undecided

55 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by benzion72(m): 1:34pm On Mar 06, 2018
CAPSLOCKED:



AND THE WOMEN WHO CONTRIBUTE ALMOST NOTHING, IN MOST CASES ARE USUALLY THE COMMANDANTS HERE..
"MY BRIDE PRICE THIS, HER BRIDE PRICE THAT".
"I CAN'T MARRY A POOR MAN, I WANT A COSTLY ENGAGEMENT RING".
"MY WEDDING MUST BE BIG, I WANT TO SHAKE THIS TOWN"
"LINDA MUST BLOG IT. I DON'T WANT TO BE SUFFERING IN MARRIAGE".

..."BUT, BUT,.. I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR BY MARRYING YOU".


And that is why so many of them will never get married. Without prejudice the culture of monogamy which we have imbibed will also cause so many ladies who could have been second and third wives and be happy like our ancestors had. Our society today will stigmatize you as a second and a third wife. When you attend marriage seminars you see a lot of ladies. Also some family main prayer point everyday is O God settle my daughter when they started ageing reaching 29 years and above without any proposal from anybody some are even virgin

9 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 3:45pm On Mar 06, 2018
PrimadonnaO:
You've made complete sense. But sometimes, certain things beyond us compel us to conform to the norm.
I don't think they are beyond us. most of those certain things are not even African culture.

4 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 3:50pm On Mar 06, 2018
CAPSLOCKED:



AND THE WOMEN WHO CONTRIBUTE ALMOST NOTHING, IN MOST CASES ARE USUALLY THE COMMANDANTS HERE..
"MY BRIDE PRICE THIS, HER BRIDE PRICE THAT".
"I CAN'T MARRY A POOR MAN, I WANT A COSTLY ENGAGEMENT RING".
"MY WEDDING MUST BE BIG, I WANT TO SHAKE THIS TOWN"
"LINDA MUST BLOG IT. I DON'T WANT TO BE SUFFERING IN MARRIAGE".

..."BUT, BUT,.. I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR BY MARRYING YOU".
Maybe its because most people believed marriage ought to be stressful/difficult on the man side, so that he can value the woman.

1 Like

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by CAPSLOCKED: 5:03pm On Mar 06, 2018
missdivineprove:
Maybe its because most people believed marriage ought to be stressful/difficult on the man side, so that he can value the woman.


THAT STRESS IS THE MORE REASON WHY MANY MEN SEE THEIR WIVES LIKE PROPERTIES, LIKE SLAVES THEY CAN BEAT UP WHENEVER THEY LIKE.

22 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by nuelyoyo(m): 9:49am On Mar 07, 2018
Lalasticlala and Mynd44, pls move to front page, this a serious issue that needs to be seen by many.
Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Acidosis(m): 10:30am On Mar 07, 2018
missdivineprove:
Maybe its because most people believed marriage ought to be stressful/difficult on the man side, so that he can value the woman.

Same way Nigerian academic institutions make schooling so difficult.. At the end of the day, the results are still very useless in foreign lands without TOEFL, IELTS, GRE, etc..

Banking in those days unlike what we have today used to be very difficult. You have to sit down and wait until you're called by a cashier. Today we have ATMs, mobile banking, internet banking, etc.

Look at the above scenario and tell me which is less difficult? Which do you prefer? Which do you appreciate better?

7 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Narldon: 12:30pm On Mar 07, 2018



Wedding is a Lucrative Industry in Nigeria


7 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:30pm On Mar 07, 2018
I honestly dont see what the rant is all about, having a big wedding is not and should not be a do or die affair, if you cant afford an elaborate wedding, make do with what you can, honestly all these people complaining are just not happy they cant have a big wedding or are just envious of the elaborate wedding they see around them.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Lexusgs430: 12:30pm On Mar 07, 2018
Poor pigs .......
Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:30pm On Mar 07, 2018
To me, it's a simple matter. It depends on the level of maturity and understanding between the couple involved. I don't need a fanfare to tie the knot with one I love if the means is not there. As a matter of fact, the wedding accepted worldwide is a court wedding and that's not expensive. It's not by appeasing your family and pastor, a wedding will only last for one day (max seven) and you can always have the fanfare when you're celebrating your 25 years marriage anniversary. Marriage lasts for a life time, the faster African youths get this, the better for everyone involved.

17 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:31pm On Mar 07, 2018
WORD!
Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by free2ryhme: 12:31pm On Mar 07, 2018
missdivineprove:
The Effect Of The Expensive Concept Of Marriage We Have Adopted.

Honestly, I don’t want to post this because I’m not that good in writing, but let me give this a try.

I’ve heard stories from my grand ma how marriage was done during their time. According to her stories, it was simple, interesting and desiring. Quite different from what we do now.

Although I’ve heard people saying marriage ought to be difficult so that the man can value/appreciate the woman, but I doubt if this is true anyway.

Based on my observation, these are the effect of the kind of expensive marriage concept we have adopted. It seems it has enslaved us.

1. High rate of pre marital sex

I am not justifying pre marital sex, but I’m sure the rate of pre marital sex wouldn’t be so high if every marriageable bachelor/spinster can easily get married.
Like that kind of Romeo and Juliet kind of wedding lol.

2. Late marriage

Apart from those who are financial capable, but have no interest in marriage or haven’t met someone of their choice, majority of the youth who are of marriageable age have no means to get married.

3. Marring the wrong person

Sometimes, most especially ladies ended up marring someone who can afford their marriage rite and not someone they really desire to be with.
That’s why some people are married to someone else while they love another person.

4. Poverty

How can a young man keeping working hard, saving his money only for him to spend all that in one day all in the name of marriage? The worst part, after everything, he’ll start all over again but this time, it’s going to get more difficult because more responsibilities have come in.

5. Over rating Marriage

I don’t know how to put this, it’s so annoying the way some takes marriage. Some see marriage as the greatest achievement of their life. Some people’s dream, aspiration, career all come to an end immediately they’re married. Maybe because the cost of marriage is expensive and demanding so it’s being over rated. Knowing that there’s more to life than just marriage

What is your own opinion about this?
Do you think it’s ok so that men could value women more?

If you think it’s not ok, what way forward can you suggest so it could be simpler for everyone to easily achieve without committing crime?
Do you think the media have a role to play in this in educating the people?


Please overlook my typing errors and don't quote my write up. thank you

if you don see money you no go open thread

na becos say you never see money you dey talk like this


Na pesin wey get money na him hin prick dey stand

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:32pm On Mar 07, 2018
An expensive marriage won't make a man value a woman more. But people should have the type of marriage they can afford.

6 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by BruncleZuma: 12:33pm On Mar 07, 2018
grin grin grin grin
Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by livebynite: 12:33pm On Mar 07, 2018
How about the effects of high cost of garri angry
Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by livebynite: 12:33pm On Mar 07, 2018
How about the effects of high cost of garri angry
Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Alvin007: 12:35pm On Mar 07, 2018
Aftermath of such marriages;
Slavery
Unfulfilled high expectations
Divorce

13 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:36pm On Mar 07, 2018
Very nice thread... That is the society we find ourselves!!

2 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Pat081: 12:37pm On Mar 07, 2018
It is d family of d gal dat Shuld do everything just to use it to thanks d man how happy dey re to d man 4 taking away d gal

1 Like

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by judecares1(m): 12:39pm On Mar 07, 2018
THIS THE MORE REASON I MUST MARRY FROM URHOBO IN DELTA STATE,URHOBO IS D CHEAPEST OF ALL TRIBE IN NIGERIA WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE.

3 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Memories12411: 12:40pm On Mar 07, 2018
My candid advice to the ladies who are craving for elaborate wedding is to use the money to empower their home and watch people coming to leak their feet after gossiping about their low key wedding. Money unnecessarily spent during wedding to impress people who actually don't care.

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by LordKO(m): 12:41pm On Mar 07, 2018
@OP

Believe you me that conformism is the hiding cause of the assumed high cost of marriage in particular and most other social ills in general, in the country. Conformism breeds uniformity and uniformity breeds superficiality. And of course, superficiality is the backbone of social ills.

Nothing can be more pleasurable than living life at the periphery of conventionalism, especially when doing so conscientiously - non-conformism all the way.

13 Likes

Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by miqos02(m): 12:42pm On Mar 07, 2018
Yeah
Re: The Effects Of High Cost Of Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:43pm On Mar 07, 2018
What do we do about it.
Yahoo boys are not even helping matters.
Any time I hear marriage, I remember my bank account balance. O boy na discouragement de follow next.
Person no fit hustle and marry in peace without shaking the town.
Abeg, the thing tire me sef.
Make una shook mouth for this matter.

3 Likes

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