For the sake of utmost secrecy, I had to create a new moniker. Here is my story...

I got married less than 2 years ago and I will say that I have neva known peace, one issue after another. I cry almost everyday. But outside, we are the perfect couple. People envy us whenever we are out, wishing to be like us, because we got everything to make us comfortable. Though we ain't very well to do, buh at least we are ok. We got a house, a car and we r just ok. Mind you, I didnt marry him because of his money. We have been 2geda even before he got a place of his own and I have stuck by him since den.

He neva listens to what I have to say, whatever he says is final. Whenever I try to reason with him, he insults me, insults my family even when I have never insulted his. It's ok for his family to visit, buh when my siblings wanna come, he wouldn't allow. He has slapped me on several occasions buh he ends up begging and I forgive him. Whenever he is in a good mood, he is very sweet buh when he snaps, I wonder if dat is d man I married. I still love him buh I am getting tired of his constant physical, verbal and emotional torture. I dont think I can hold on for much longer. I fear for my health. Please nairalanders, I need your sincere advice. Should I continue or should I leave him?

NB: No child yet

You didn't marry him because of his money but why did you marry him?
You couldn't have dated a guy like this without him showing his character so why did you accept him?

'No child yet'..........Well I won't say dump the marriage just yet but maybe you should hold off getting pregnant for now.There's domestic abuse here!
It's not possible to know everything about a person before marriage but things like 'never listens to what I say',his 'decisions are final' etc are deal breakers for me.

Why do I have a feeling the age gap between you and your man is over 12?

A man from an older generation is less likely to consider whatever opinion you think you have in his home.

Whew! It is well o.

Acidosis:


Why do I have a feeling the age gap between you and your man is over 12?

A man from an older generation is less likely to consider whatever opinion you think you have in his home.

Not all men...My husband z 18yrs ahead of me,
am 30yrs old,I think its a personality issue.she should sit him down and talk to him.people are wired differently.

ahnie:


Not all men...My husband z 18yrs ahead of me,
am 30yrs old,I think its a personality issue.she should sit him down and talk to him.people are wired differently.

����18yrs.. Chai !!!!!

Make the best decision for yourself.

realdilemma:
For the sake of utmost secrecy, I had to create a new moniker. Here is my story...

I got married less than 2 years ago and I will say that I have neva known peace, one issue after another. I cry almost everyday. But outside, we are the perfect couple. People envy us whenever we are out, wishing to be like us, because we got everything to make us comfortable. Though we ain't very well to do, buh at least we are ok. We got a house, a car and we r just ok. Mind you, I didnt marry him because of his money. We have been 2geda even before he got a place of his own and I have stuck by him since den.

He neva listens to what I have to say, whatever he says is final. Whenever I try to reason with him, he insults me, insults my family even when I have never insulted his. It's ok for his family to visit, buh when my siblings wanna come, he wouldn't allow. He has slapped me on several occasions buh he ends up begging and I forgive him. Whenever he is in a good mood, he is very sweet buh when he snaps, I wonder if dat is d man I married. I still love him buh I am getting tired of his constant physical, verbal and emotional torture. I dont think I can hold on for much longer. I fear for my health. Please nairalanders, I need your sincere advice. Should I continue or should I leave him?

NB: No child yet

my opinion.

do you still want him and want to stay?

if yes give him all what he asked of. if he ask you to keep shut just do without questioning anything he asked you just endure to do it. tell him you have told your siblings not to visit without taking approval from your husband. don't ever try to correct him.

do this dummy thing for a month or two. then when he gets the feeling of a king. then start making suggestions on what you would like the marriage to be. with time he will get ashamed of his act..

I can assure you he still love you. just that he felt insecure with you making so many moves without his consent.

ahnie:


Not all men...My husband z 18yrs ahead of me,
am 30yrs old,I think its a personality issue.she should sit him down and talk to him.people are wired differently.

your husband had finished secondary school before you were born.

WinningSun:


your husband had finished secondary school before you were born.

How is that your business? She said they're happy together and her husband is nice to her and takes good care of her. Isn't that what matters? Instead of focusing on a mans personality and qualities, you're counting age difference and the time he finished secondary school. Incase you don't know, older men are usually more mature, wiser, caring and emotionally mature in marriage than the younger hotheaded men who still have the recklessness of youth in them.

Nnaabros:
How is that your business? She said they're happy together and her husband is nice to her and takes good care of her. Isn't that what matters? Instead of focusing on a mans personality and qualities, you're counting age difference and the time he finished secondary school. Incase you don't know, older men are usually more mature, wiser, caring and emotionally mature in marriage than the younger hotheaded men who still have the recklessness of youth in them.

none of my business. I guess they're northerners.

WinningSun:


your husband had finished secondary school before you were born.

Nnaabros:
How is that your business? She said they're happy together and her husband is nice to her and takes good care of her. Isn't that what matters? Instead of focusing on a mans personality and qualities, you're counting age difference and the time he finished secondary school. Incase you don't know, older men are usually more mature, wiser, caring and emotionally mature in marriage than the younger hotheaded men who still have the recklessness of youth in them.

Lolz..welcome to Nairaland...Home of comic relief.please take EET easy,good evening sire.

ahnie:


Not all men...My husband z 18yrs ahead of me,
am 30yrs old,I think its a personality issue.she should sit him down and talk to him.people are wired differently.

you married your ancestors!!!, the gods are looking for you

The decision of whether to stay or leave is one that can only be made by you. You wear the shoes...so you know where it hurts.

Are you dependent on him for everything? How is your self esteem? A woman should also command respect from her husband. It is not only the men that should be respected. He also needs to show the wife respect.

A man that can just slap his wife at will doesn't have respect for her and her feelings. If you are going to stay, i suggest you work on yourself. ..your confidence level, self esteem, your looks,etc. Be outspoken but not insultive. Let it begin to sink into him that you won't take any rubbish anymore.

But please your life is important. Report any threat to your life to the appropriate authorities.


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Acidosis
Sisioge

"not all that glitter is gold after all i.e money,house & car!!!

When we couples understand that understanding and love should be equal in relationship and marriage.

Please before you married him did both of you discuss some negative and positive sides of your life's. One thing l have understand about most broken marriage is LACK OF UNDERSTANDING,both love de de.

Woman do the right thing to find out why he act in such way so as not .......

FOR you to mention you didn’t marry him for his money goes a long way that you indeed married him for his money

You got served hehehe

Wait oh you said your husband do such thing to you because he is the Devil while you described yourself as a Saint.

Kai my people ehh! Women!!!! Women!!! Una way no pure. Y b say una de quick to run to media, social media etc to say your husband no de try y una de do your best.

Women stop this act because you are not only disgracing you and your hubby but downgrading your yourself.

I wouldn't think all these are happening out of the Blues. I think the Op missed the hand writing on the wall some where. The sign might not be so obvious during their courtship, but I'm sure it was there all the same no matter how minute. For the very fact that you are having issues so early in your marriage means your husband has always had this character. Unfortunately you didn't pay close attention to it. Remember a Leopard never changes its spot.





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