1 - When he was 10 years old, Zlatan decided to live by himself. And his parents just moved to another house.
2 - Zlatan lost his virginity even before his parents.
3 - One day Zlatan did a test in a lie detector machine. The machine confessed everything.
Arsenal - When Zlatan was young, his parents used to sleep on his bed when they were scared.
5 - When Zlatan goes to your place to visit you, you're the guest.
6 - The name of Zlatan's father is Zlatan Junior.
7 - One day Zlatan passed a red light and the police stopped his car. Zlatan charged the police.
8 - Zlatan helped the nurses when he was born.
9 - Zlatan never lies. The truth is what is wrong.
10 - When Alexander Graham Bell created the telephone, he already had three missed calls from Zlatan.
11- Oxygen needs Zlatan to survive.
12 - It is impossible for Zlatan to have a heart attack. Nothing is stupid enough to attack Zlatan.
13 - In school teachers used to raise their hands to talk with Zlatan.
14 - One day Zlatan missed two days in a row in the school. Later on, these days were called Saturday and Sunday.
15 - One day Zlatan arrived late at school. The other students were penalized because they arrived too early
16 - Kids go to sleep with a teddy bear, Zlatan goes to sleep with an actual bear
17 - When Zlatan makes a grammatical mistake the dictionary is updated
18 - Zlatan did not turn 36 years old, 36 years old turned Zlatan
19 - When Zlatan crosses the street, cars look both ways
20 - Zlatan doesn't have hair on his testicles because hair can't grow on steel
21 - You can't use 'Zlatan' as your password because it is 'too strong'.
22 - Zlatan wakes up his alarm clock every morning.
23 - Ghosts sit around camp fires & tell each other Zlatan stories.
24 - Zlatan doesn't make left turns, because everything he does is right.
25 - Zlatan once went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund.
26 - When Zlatan works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.
27 - Zlatan and Superman once had a race. The loser had to start wearing his underwear over his trousers.
28 - Zlatan went to school so he could be studied.
29 - Cameras can't take pictures of Zlatan, nothing takes anything from Zlatan.
30 - Zlatan can rip a page out of Facebook .
31 - Zlatan once killed two stones with one bird.
32 - There used to be a street in Sweden named after Zlatan but it had to be changed because nobody crosses Zlatan and lives.
33 - Zlatan was approached to star in Mission Impossible. But he refused because he found the title insulting.
34 - Zlatan starts a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
35 - Zlatan's keyboard doesn't have a delete button because Zlatan does not make mistakes.
36 - Zlatan once volleyed a horse in the chin. It's descendants are known today as giraffes.
37 - Zlatan doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is
38 - Zlatan doesn''t look for the ball, the ball looks for Zlatan.
39 - Zlatan doesn't go to the referee, the referee goes to Zlatan
40 - Zlatan has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
41 - Zlatan''s keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Zlatan
42 - When Zlatan looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Zlatan.
43 - Zlatan''s voice never has an echo. Nothing talks back to Zlatan
44 - When we need to find something, we ask Google. When Google needs to find something, it asks Zlatan
45 - Zlatan starred in all 6 Star Wars movies…..As The Force.
47 - Zlatan does not draw teams in the Champions League, teams draw Zlatan.
48 - Jesus could walk on water, Zlatan can swim through land.
- Stop comparing Zlatan with God, I mean he's good but he is not Zlatan
49 - Zlatan can pick Lemons from an Apple tree and make the best Orange Juice you have ever tasted.
50 - Zlatan’s keyboard doesn’t have a question mark, Zlatan only has answers.

Lol, I would say I agree to these

one thing i know about zlatan, e get money pass your papa

51 - When Mark Zukerberg created Facebook he already had a friend request waiting from Zlatan.
52 - Sweden’s biggest sports accomplishments: 1948: Olympic Champions 1958:
Silver World Cup Winners 1981: Zlatan is Born 2015: U21 Champions.
53 - Zlatan once went to a movie, and it watched him for two hours.
54 - A policeman once pulled Zlatan over. Zlatan let the policeman off with just a warning.
55 - Zlatan does not walk, the earth moves beneath his feet.
55 - Zlatan does not pay attention, attention pays him.
56 - Zlatan can tie his boots with his feet.
57 - Whenever Zlatan goes to a wedding, he is always the best man.
58 - Zlatan was seeing a movie in the cinema hall his phone rang so they paused the movie.
59 - Zlatan leaves a massage before the beep.
60 - Zlatan can find a haystack in a needle.
61 - Only Zlatan can have a facebook page with 0 posts and 100000 likes on it
62 - Only Zlatan can make onions cry
63 - Once a reporter asked Zlatan are you gay Zlatan replied you come to my
house bring your sister also I'll show you I am gay or not.
64 - Zlatan wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't burn the sun.
65 - Kids have photos of Ronaldo in there room Ronaldo has photos of Zlatan in his room.
66 - When Zlatan left his house he told his dad now you are the man of the house
67 - Zlatan's urine can be used as a fuel in Airplanes.
68 - Zlatan's tears can cure cancer.
69 - Zlatan died 10 years ago, death hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
70 - The Statue of Liberty in New York lifts its hand because it's a punishment from Zlatan.
71 - Once Zlatan masturbated on a house, that house is now known as White House.
72 - Zlatan makes fruit from juice.
73 - Zlatan has been to Mars, which is why there is no life there.
74 - Zlatan does not age, he levels up.
75 - Zlatan once counted up to infinity, twice.
x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1TXk7ZdiQE

scaramenga:
one thing i know about zlatan, e get money pass your papa

As well as yours too......

khalids:


As well as yours too......

lol the thing pain am
Bet it is the truff nah

scaramenga:

lol the thing pain am
Bet it is the truff nah

Wow...how old are you??

Auladimeji2:
The world cup and Champions are so unlucky to feel Zlanta's hand

lol