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30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer - Programming - Nairaland

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30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by raymod170(m): 9:05pm On Apr 14, 2018
I need you to write a system for me, it wont be difficult/take you long.

I need you to write a system for me, you will need to use Oracle/IBM/Java, etc.

I need it for next week.

I need you to write a system for me, don’t use X.

Why is it taking so long (usually related to the above points).

I thought you said it worked.

Why did it throw an error?

Can’t you just fix it?

(One MD I worked with once asked) If you’ve written it properly, why do you need time to test it?

(After explaining what you are going to do)… Oh can you do that then?

It doesn’t work in Internet Explorer.

No you cannot work from home, you will need to be in the office.

Can you help me with my Internet?

Why didn’t you write Facebook?

We have this system in work that tells us X, do you know it?

I want to sit with you whilst you work so you can explain what you are doing.

Or… Can you explain what it does to me.

We don’t have a final (any) design yet.

Or… The client wants to change a couple (all) things.

I know someone who is a programmer, they said they can help you get it done quicker.

Or once had… I know someone who says he can get programmers in from India who can work with you.

Don’t wear headphones, I need you to concentrate.

Can you help me with the printer?

My computer doesn’t connect to the Internet, why is that?

Don’t you get bored of just staring at the screen all day?

I know someone who says he/she can do it cheaper/quicker.

My friend says it should be really easy.

Does it use Web 2? My friend says you need to write it in Web 2.

Programming sounds really boring, do you find it boring?

Oh so you are one of them computer nerds then, I don’t see the point in all that (you mean you don’t use things like Facebook, Google, WhatsApp, Windows, Android, XBox, Playstation, MS Office, Snapchat, Youtube, Apple, email, Twitter or the Internet then?)
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by CodeTemplar: 2:17pm On Apr 15, 2018
You are a expert. Technology can be stolen. Come and teach me.
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by mcqwerty(m): 5:39am On Apr 18, 2018
"I have this big idea. I need a tech Co-founder." (Time Waster) angry

"Can you build the next Jiji (or IG, Facebook, Google)?" (The Joker) cheesy

"How much will I build a social network? I have 5k as budget." (The Dreamer) grin

"Are you an EXPERT programmer? I need you to post links to previous works." (The Indecisive) undecided

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Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by raymod170(m): 1:02pm On Apr 18, 2018
I have this great app idea, and if you code it for me, I’ll give you a percentage of my company:
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by raymod170(m): 1:02pm On Apr 18, 2018
Wow! You’re a web-developer, you must make a lot of cash
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by LaiveNg: 7:23pm On Apr 18, 2018
"What is the meaning of that dollar sign in front of '$name' and '$age'"?

"How much did you collect from client X that you want to collect this amount from me"?
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by vickzdvipe(m): 7:45pm On Apr 18, 2018
"don't wear headphones, I need you to concentrate". This got me laughing out loud! Literally.
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by CodeTemplar: 8:13pm On Apr 18, 2018
LaiveNg:
"What is the meaning of that dollar sign in front of '$name' and '$age'"?

"How much did you collect from client X that you want to collect this amount from me"?
how did the client get to see your code?
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by LaiveNg: 8:26pm On Apr 18, 2018
CodeTemplar:
how did the client get to see your code?
Read the title of the thread...
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by CodeTemplar: 8:30pm On Apr 18, 2018
LaiveNg:
Read the title of the thread...
? ?
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by vidid2all: 5:46pm On Apr 19, 2018
mcqwerty:
"I have this big idea. I need a tech Co-founder." (Time Waster) angry

I don't agree with your first point for someone who needs a tech co-founder.

Here is my reason, I might have a great idea and it's something I really want to build or get a team to build it. Not every developer have the luxury of time to wait and see an idea transform into a successful venture. An average Nigeria developer does not have this patience either. They believe in freelance and pay as you go service. So the guy who is seeking a co-founder might just be talking to these set of people.

Also remember the Nigeria does not have a strong copyright law and intellectual property rights, so no matter how shallow, bugging or stupid an idea maybe even if it's dead on arrival the owner have this inner fear that it may be stolen which is the case 95% of the time here in Nigeria. I'm a victim of this.

So when someone say co-founder it's left for you to check with them, tell them if you want to or if you're a full time freelance. Not everyone seeking co-founder is a time waster.

Thanks.


"Can you build the next Jiji (or IG, Facebook, Google)?" (The Joker) cheesy

"How much will I build a social network? I have 5k as budget." (The Dreamer) grin

"Are you an EXPERT programmer? I need you to post links to previous works." (The Indecisive) undecided
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by bassdow(f): 6:11pm On Apr 19, 2018
mcqwerty:
"I have this big idea. I need a tech Co-founder." (Time Waster) angry

"Can you build the next Jiji (or IG, Facebook, Google)?" (The Joker) cheesy

"How much will I build a social network? I have 5k as budget." (The Dreamer) grin

"Are you an EXPERT programmer? I need you to post links to previous works." (The Indecisive) undecided


We do get Lot's of these and more almost on weekly basis .

Even those who needs a Very simple Blog would request for a developer.

Whenever I see messages such as "I have this big idea. I need a tech Co-founder." , I just smile inwardly as to me, most (if not all) are Indirect Scammers. Most know their Very Big Idea might not be feasible enough hence they want you to waste your resources on their behalf.

NB: For all those with - "I have this big idea. I need a tech Co-founder.", I often ask they send detailed straight to the Point summary document so I we know how Feasible their "Big Idea" is. Most times, I see enough to not waste further time in the First 1-Minute .




And they are always Nigerians

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Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by Lamzzyy(m): 10:20pm On Apr 19, 2018
grin
LaiveNg:
Read the title of the thread...
grin
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by wane01(m): 6:15am On Apr 20, 2018
mcqwerty:
"I have this big idea. I need a tech Co-founder." (Time Waste )

"Are you an EXPERT programmer? I need you to post links to previous works." (The Indecisive) undecided
Not all ma'am ..
I once developed an idea for a financial institution in Nigeria .. I called some hardcore devs in this Nairaland and I got the "am busy reply" .. I had to do all the back end and frontend work myself ..
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by raymod170(m): 10:07am On Jun 17, 2018
CodeTemplar:
You are a expert.
Technology can be stolen.
Come and teach me.

I hear this alot these days lol grin
Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by phililp(m): 12:29pm On Jun 17, 2018
.

Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by Nobody: 12:51pm On Jun 17, 2018
mcqwerty:
"I have this big idea. I need a tech Co-founder." (Time Waster) angry

"Can you build the next Jiji (or IG, Facebook, Google)?" (The Joker) cheesy

"How much will I build a social network? I have 5k as budget." (The Dreamer) grin

"Are you an EXPERT programmer? I need you to post links to previous works." (The Indecisive) undecided

The third one got me laughing bro. When u hear such question, just know that the e-diot wants to brain f**k you. He wants to decompile your app and steal your Algorithm

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Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by tollyboy5(m): 12:55am On Jun 18, 2018
as in

Re: 30 Things You Should Not Say To A Developer by LSarcastic: 5:38pm On Jul 19, 2020
I have a business idea (This one offs me to a gargantuan extent)
I want to learn hacking
Can you hack Facebook?
Come and teach me
You'll just be sitting down in front of PC everyday doing nothing

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