you should know that enugu and Anambra people dnt like marrying from Imo state or abia state. ...well it depends on you and the man..

If you dont know the reason why they hate you let me tell you, it is because of your age. It's better you let go and move on while you seek God

Mznaett:
As in eh, I no just understand this babe matter o


You mean without this guy your world is shattered or what?

Hmm...

Your own is good if so

The guy is rich, maybe his family feel she is of lower class.

Gasa84:
Am sorry to bother you guys but I need your advice.
I am from Imo state and I met my man (from Enugu state) in 2013 after my NYSC. He was not quite learned but he is hard working so I suggested he rent a house and buy a land since he can afford it, he did.

But when I started spending weekends in his house I found out that he drinks a lot, beats and insults me, telling me he can never marry someone like me, but he also takes care of me as I was unemployed then, I felt it was ignorant and kept enduring and confide in his elder brother's wife about my dilemma....

To cut long story short, I got a job in 2015 and he got very sick in 2016 so I had to let go of my job to tend to him for 2 months till he traveled for proper treatment.

After 8 months he came back told his brother that he wants to marry me but his brother said no to the extent that the brother pushed me out of his house when I came to visit him as usual...

He got sick again and was diagnosed with brain tumor , I stayed with him in the hospital till he traveled for surgery... While I was with him no one cared to come stay in the hospital as they knew I was there... I stayed in his house more than mine. After a successful surgery, his father died..

I followed him to his village cos I thought it was the right thing to do but his brothers, sisters, mother and uncles told him to send me away, I left there feeling miserable and insulted...

But he kept telling me that he doesn't want to lose me that we will keep on praying that one-day they will accept me so we can then marry.

I know he loves me... Probably because I was there with him when he was sick.... But am no more that young and I don't know what will happen later... Am afraid and frustrated....

I don't know what to do please help me out. I can explain more if u ask I am just confused and depressed. What do I do, how do I cope?

Anty, you are 34 years old, right?

Gasa84:
Thanks all for not using harsh words. I appreciate.
I kept thinking it ll get better..... Maybe it's the money or sex... Am just miserable and stuck. God help me! I don't know how to start afresh. I don't know how to let go. Oh God help me.

Maybe you will learn to start afresh after divorce

op.I will tuk to u in bray Wyatt voice,"RUN"op I say "RUN"..pls just run nd save ur life.God bless u.

The first time nairalanders are dosing out life changing advice for a soul who has been blindly consumed by the size of a man's dick... The hand written is already on the wall... My sister, pls pack ur bags and baggages and go far from the said guy.. 5years of sacrifices coupled with hatreds from the Guy's family is enough for you to run away from the guy.. Do you want to die in luv?

Even Juliet wouldn't be this stupid... Get out of that fuvking relationship young woman.. If I later see ur obituary on this platform, I won't hesitate to curse ur dead body..

hug transformer. And u will find peace

Gasa84:
Thanks all for not using harsh words. I appreciate.
I kept thinking it ll get better..... Maybe it's the money or sex... Am just miserable and stuck. God help me! I don't know how to start afresh. I don't know how to let go. Oh God help me.

Are u alright atall Na wa ooo...you're stuck abi keep been stuck till they stuck out your spirit from your body rada rada....

valentineuwakwe:
you should know that enough and Alhambra people dnt like marrying from Imo state or abia state. ...well it depends on you and the man..

U don't read u just go around displaying your madness.... Anambra people will key you there

The same with me,i can't marry into a family that doesn't like.me

Blakjewelry:
the signs are already there, he is not man enough. as for me I can't marry someone who's family don't like me

Yh I think the girl is desperate,just relationship,he's beating u up not to talk of marriage that he has full control.No matter how u love a guy,you don't give him room for beating.The hand you give him at the beginning determines how he will treat you in a relationship.For me,i don't give a Bleep about guys cos u didn't pay my feed in school or train me so u don't try to lay your filthy,dirty hands on me.

donstan18:
THREE QUICK THOUGHTS

- You are desperate and it's ruining your thought and feelings ; A lady who isn't desperate won't tolerate a boyfriend that beats her up, not to talk of forcing herself in a family who clearly doesn't love her.

- A woman don't just marry a man, but his family ; His family hates you for reasons you are yet to tell us, you can't tell me they just disliked you just for no reason, it doesn't happen. Something must have happened that poisoned their mind.

- Your husband won't be able to defend you ; Even if he's the most powerful man on earth, so long as his family doesn't support you, he can't do anything.

---

I'll advise you to desist from that family, the more you force yourself on them the risk you endanger yourself, for how long do you intend forcing yourself on them?

They'v humiliated you, insulted you, beat you, disgraced you and made it obvious that you are not needed.

Baby girl, why the desperation?

Now it's a time for you to invite the holy spirit to take over this case.i know it's not easy but just try and forget him.

Gasa84:
Thanks all for not using harsh words. I appreciate.
I kept thinking it ll get better..... Maybe it's the money or sex... Am just miserable and stuck. God help me! I don't know how to start afresh. I don't know how to let go. Oh God help me.

Gasa84:
Thanks all for not using harsh words. I appreciate.
I kept thinking it ll get better..... Maybe it's the money or sex... Am just miserable and stuck. God help me! I don't know how to start afresh. I don't know how to let go. Oh God help me.

You're a very funny lady. I married my wife three months after she accepted to date me. In life anything can happen when you let go of toxic people and hold your God tight. Be careful nne. If you marry that guy, you will be unfortunate. He is already showing signs of sickness and abuse towards you, coupled with a hostile family, you will never enjoy this marriage.

Why not think deeply and let go nne. If you leave, You will marry sooner than you anticipate. Book this post.

Gasa84:


But when I started spending weekends in his house I found out that he drinks a lot, beats and insults me, telling me he can never marry someone like me, but he also takes care of me as I was unemployed then, I felt it was ignorant and kept enduring and confide in his elder brother's wife about my dilemma....

To cut long story short, I got a job in 2015 and he got very sick in 2016 so I had to let go of my job to tend to him for 2 months till he traveled for proper treatment.


I followed him to his village cos I thought it was the right thing to do but his brothers, sisters, mother and uncles told him to send me away, I left there feeling miserable and insulted...

But he kept telling me that he doesn't want to lose me that we will keep on praying that one-day they will accept me so we can then marry.

I know he loves me... Probably because I was there with him when he was sick.... But am no more that young and I don't know what will happen later... Am afraid and frustrated....

I don't know what to do please help me out. I can explain more if u ask I am just confused and depressed. What do I do, how do I cope?

First I don't HV a problem with whether he loves u or not my only concern is wen u mentioned DAT he beats u I don't just get it. Is it DAT ladies love men more who beats them cos to me as a guy I can never do such n I hate any thing DAT will hurt a woman.

On a second note u followed himbtobd village to meet his people without him formally making the move on his people.
Also he sees his people as a blockage to him marrying u dats y he said 'one day' I still don't get y ur still with him been with a guy through thick n thin doesn't give d assurance dear.

U re matured enough so be wise and don't discomfort ursef for any one except ur fully married

There re sacrifices u shud never make like leaving ur job for ur man that's totally out of it I no its luv to u but I can never allow my gf to please me more at d detriment of her joy or comfort

none you said, my dear remove that fiance....where as you might be doing something for none of them to like you not even one, a bad suitor is better than bad inlaws oooo if you marry em, they will end up send you packing in a 44 pace

Gasa84:
Am sorry to bother you guys but I need your advice.
I am from Imo state and I met my man (from Enugu state) in 2013 after my NYSC. He was not quite learned but he is hard working so I suggested he rent a house and buy a land since he can afford it, he did.

But when I started spending weekends in his house I found out that he drinks a lot, beats and insults me, telling me he can never marry someone like me, but he also takes care of me as I was unemployed then, I felt it was ignorant and kept enduring and confide in his elder brother's wife about my dilemma....

To cut long story short, I got a job in 2015 and he got very sick in 2016 so I had to let go of my job to tend to him for 2 months till he traveled for proper treatment.

After 8 months he came back told his brother that he wants to marry me but his brother said no to the extent that the brother pushed me out of his house when I came to visit him as usual...

He got sick again and was diagnosed with brain tumor , I stayed with him in the hospital till he traveled for surgery... While I was with him no one cared to come stay in the hospital as they knew I was there... I stayed in his house more than mine. After a successful surgery, his father died..

I followed him to his village cos I thought it was the right thing to do but his brothers, sisters, mother and uncles told him to send me away, I left there feeling miserable and insulted...

But he kept telling me that he doesn't want to lose me that we will keep on praying that one-day they will accept me so we can then marry.

I know he loves me... Probably because I was there with him when he was sick.... But am no more that young and I don't know what will happen later... Am afraid and frustrated....

I don't know what to do please help me out. I can explain more if u ask I am just confused and depressed. What do I do, how do I cope?

Hear the truth, they don't hate you but your fiancé, you are the only light around the guy that is making their attack on him less effective. Stay away if you are not strong enough to withstand a sure continuous attach either from your guy or his relative, but if you got what its takes spiritually, go ahead and take the ground

emelda86:


U don't read u just go around displaying your madness.... Anambra people will key you there

what is false in the statements i made? it's a known fact that enough men and especially Anambra people don't like marrying or taking wives from Imo state....they prefer to return back to their villages and look for wives...mmanyi se, npanyi se.....maybe recently, they have started changing but for real what no said is true..simple

valentineuwakwe:

what is false in the statements i made? it's a known fact that enough men and especially Anambra people don't like marrying or taking wives from Imo state....they prefer to return back to their villages and look for wives...mmanyi se, npanyi se.....maybe recently, they have started changing but for real what no said is true..simple

Read well my dear he's from Enugu not Anambra na haba!!! They marry them now o

MrTeCO:
My sincere honest advice from a man to a woman who is in a serious life dilemma and needs the most truthful answer to the situation affecting her.


1- Quit Now. I repeat Quit Now for your own good and happiness. I'm a core Igbo man from Anambra and can vividly tell you that our culture here in Igbo is terrible when it comes to marriage and family matters.

2- If you want to live longer than you ever envisioned, then let that man and his family go...... and when you do please don't look back. my reasons are as follows.....

a: as a guy I do advise my fellow young singles planning on settling down soon not to ever think of marrying a woman if his/her family doesn't accept them.

b: if you end up doing strong head and marry that person even when they say they can't live without you my dear no body from their family will attend una wedding....this is core Igbo culture....its terrible but its true. If at all they attend, it's for the man and not for you and trust me you won't enjoy your wedding day as they'll do everything within their power to make you unhappy and depressed that day.

c: imagine after you've seen the writing on the wall went ahead and married him and help him build up his wealth more and along the line he dies(since he's already prone to random sickness) who do you think they'll blame....? You.

I know my Igbo people, the family will throw you out before or after the burial and collect all the man's property from you even the ones you might have invested your money, energy and time into.


I can go on and on but as an Igbo woman you be read this carefully..."were ire gi guo ezegi onu" cos it won't end well for you.


please leave love aside first and save your life. they might even go diabolic for you.


Advice to all..... leave the talk of being a man or woman, if your family members doesn't accept your partner to be please for the sake of you and your partner and future kids kindly let them go. Unless you're ready to abandon them all and live with your partner.

most at times their reasons are not always genuine and only on that context can I advise you to follow your heart just like in the case of the PSquare family. If they have reasons they all repeatedly complain of, leave that partner for you to live long and be happy.


My dad has made us swear that none of us will marry from Enugu or from Yoruba....he has his reasons and he carefully told us so. My future kids can marry from those places but me and my brothers or any of my sisters will not. My fathers advices has never for once turned out bad, so I'm not gonna disobey him on that.....(please nobody should bash me on that, our elders use to say that What An Old Man Sits Down and See, A Child Can Not See It Even When He/She Stands)


have said Enough.....sister please please please, don't ever marry that man....infact kill every love you have for him now and move on...find someone else and marry.....i know its hard but do it. I can bet with my life that you two will never enjoy that marriage especially YOU.


Peace.....Igbo Culture is beautiful but some aspects needs to be changed for the betterment of the entire Igbo race.

you're right..
I'm from like the op.. My father told me that I should never bring Calabar/akwaibom woman or Hausa woman for marriage.. He told me plainly that it can never work and gave me reasons... Marriage is a serious matter in Igboland because We Igbos see it as not just a union two individuals but a union of two families.. Please if you're not treated right by his family, run for your life. Build yourself and become better, maybe someone who deserves you will come your way... You went to school to achieve greater heights, not to become a man's propert

DEBJOCH1:
. For a very long time I have never come across such a mature way of dishing out advice to some one, had it been I am still single I would have look for a possible way of trying to entangle with you so as to see if we both can mingle. Bravo sis, infact you are matured at heart. I love that.

Lol, thanks, I'm honoured with your words, Im a guy though.

with this ur story & wat i have heard abt enugu men @op u are wasting ur time,even if u get married na divorce go end am,just carry self comot b4 it is too late

Gasa84:
Am sorry to bother you guys but I need your advice.
I am from Imo state and I met my man (from Enugu state) in 2013 after my NYSC. He was not quite learned but he is hard working so I suggested he rent a house and buy a land since he can afford it, he did.

But when I started spending weekends in his house I found out that he drinks a lot, beats and insults me, telling me he can never marry someone like me, but he also takes care of me as I was unemployed then, I felt it was ignorant and kept enduring and confide in his elder brother's wife about my dilemma....

To cut long story short, I got a job in 2015 and he got very sick in 2016 so I had to let go of my job to tend to him for 2 months till he traveled for proper treatment.

After 8 months he came back told his brother that he wants to marry me but his brother said no to the extent that the brother pushed me out of his house when I came to visit him as usual...

He got sick again and was diagnosed with brain tumor , I stayed with him in the hospital till he traveled for surgery... While I was with him no one cared to come stay in the hospital as they knew I was there... I stayed in his house more than mine. After a successful surgery, his father died..

I followed him to his village cos I thought it was the right thing to do but his brothers, sisters, mother and uncles told him to send me away, I left there feeling miserable and insulted...

But he kept telling me that he doesn't want to lose me that we will keep on praying that one-day they will accept me so we can then marry.

I know he loves me... Probably because I was there with him when he was sick.... But am no more that young and I don't know what will happen later... Am afraid and frustrated....

I don't know what to do please help me out. I can explain more if u ask I am just confused and depressed. What do I do, how do I cope?

you are from IMO STATE,there is no need!!!..He will never marry u....people despise IMO wella.

Hmmm, ur case ehhhh....
no 1. His brother had the mind to chase u out of ur fiance's house in the city.
no 2. The entire family chase u away when you went to his village.
no 3. He cant protect you from his family.
no 4. He used to beat you before. then u made a whole lot of sacrifices for him.

A man who loves you should be able to protect you
what has he done to protect u?

he might be telling u he loves you and want to marry you cos of all the sacrifices uve made but goes behind to tell his people to treat u in a way u will refuse marrying him cos he cant tell you in person.

my dear, use ur tongue to count ur teeth and save urself from future torment.

jacyhelen:


you are from IMO STATE,there is no need!!!..He will never marry u....people despise IMO wella.

What did we Imo people do to you?

nkwuocha:


You're a very funny lady. I married my wife three months after she accepted to date me. In life anything can happen when you let go of toxic people and hold your God tight. Be careful nne. If you marry that guy, you will be unfortunate. He is already showing signs of sickness and abuse towards you, coupled with a hostile family, you will never enjoy this marriage.

Why not think deeply and let go nne. If you leave, You will marry sooner than you anticipate. Book this post.

Blood of Zachariah!
Sir, Nkwocha so you don marry and you no tell us! Bro, from today henceforth i go start to dey call you uncle!
Chei! Immhotep lzaa bianu lee o. Nwoke m a bukwa Family Man!
When people like me still dey think how them go race money go learn work.
Tuale, Nna anyi ukwu!

OnyeOGA:

Blood of Zachariah!
Sir, Nkwocha so you don marry and you no tell us! Bro, from today henceforth i go start to dey call you uncle!
Chei! Immhotep lzaa bianu lee o. Nwoke m a bukwa Family Man!
When people like me still dey think how them go race money go learn work.
Tuale, Nna anyi ukwu!

Odi egwu

nkwuocha:


You're a very funny lady. I married my wife three months after she accepted to date me. In life anything can happen when you let go of toxic people and hold your God tight. Be careful nne. If you marry that guy, you will be unfortunate. He is already showing signs of sickness and abuse towards you, coupled with a hostile family, you will never enjoy this marriage.

Why not think deeply and let go nne. If you leave, You will marry sooner than you anticipate. Book this post.

Correct. I know of a lady that walked away from a toxic relationship at age 31 despite people around her discouraging her because of her age. She went on to meet a cool-headed guy who proposed to her and married her in less than a year. They have two kids now. It's so sad to see ladies desperately holding on to unhealthy relationships because age is not on their side.

dominique:


Correct. I know of a lady that walked away from a toxic relationship at age 31 despite people around her discouraging her because of her age. She went on to meet a cool-headed guy who proposed to her and married her in less than a year. They have two kids now. It's so sad to see ladies desperately holding on to unhealthy relationships because age is not on their side.

31 is actually not old. But you don't know that when you're 29. Most of us walk through life very limited in knowledge and insight. (Guilty.) There is no way to change it. You can't teach life! It can only be lived.

jacyhelen:


you are from IMO STATE,there is no need!!!..He will never marry u....people despise IMO wella.

Why?

Afam4eva is from Enugu. He should come and tell us o. Where will your bride come from?

CsRockefeller:


What did we Imo people do to you?

Berem is also from Imo. Yeah, what's the whole Anambra/Imo/Enugu stuff?

I doubt it's that serous sha. A cousin told me her hypocritical father from Abeokuta berated her for bringing a guy from Ondo to marry, even though they lived in Ondo and the mother wasn't from the same place as the dad Now they're happily married, with four kids. It's just a few people who will forbid it outright.

I sometimes thought it would be nice to marry only Yoruba from Lagos like me, so all the extended family would be nearby so the kids can go to greet and hang out all the time at each others homes. Lol. But it's not really that important in the long run.


The OP should run, not walk, away! Bad irredeemable situation.

Thanks all for ur concern, though I know d solution.... I still want someone else to say it.
Someone asked for the full details.
When I found his drinking, beating and insults.. I told my aunt who told me to get close to his family that they might talk to him... I tried but he forbid it... So since d elder brother and the wife are living in same state with us I resulted confide in the wife... I told her my frustration , everything he does to me and to himself, but I remember she never suggested anyway to sort things out... She only calls to ask if we re still quarrelling... Then when he got sick d first time she called me and said I should marry him right away that it's obvious he can never be fit and he needs help, I told her that his sickness doesn't cover d fact that we still have issues.... When I got a job as a customer care representative she was d one that told my man that my job is like professional prostitution which made him threaten me to resign. She was on a way the person Who made me resign from my job to take care of him when he was sick. At a point I started feeling that she n d husband always listen when she calls me... So I stopped confiding in her.
That's when I started experiencing the hatred... The husband kept telling everyone that I said nasty thing abt his brother, that I don't allow him spend his money that he opened a shop for me and bought a land with my name... These are in no ways true... They say am way too exposed for him and that I used charm on him.. This also was false.
When he was sick they call me and thank me and beg me to look after him.... When he got better they rejected me.. When he was sick again they saw me with him at the hospital and left only checking on him via phone till he went for the surgery. I stay in his house more than I stay in mine and they know..
The sister begged me to always be with him, but when I traveled with him to the village (barely 2months after his surgery) this same sister asked me to go that it's slotty of me to travel with a man that haven't payed my bride price. The one thing they now say I did was not sleeping over at the hospital when he had surgery... and that was because I was afraid to since it was barely 3weeks after d brother pushed me out of his house.
I know the easy answer. .. But pls house is there something else am not seeing, is this guy going to be safe if I leave? They never talk abt him getting married.... They just want him to send me away...
I keep feeling it's deeper than am seeing that really y am confused... Since I met him he s been better neater, wiser and more refined, I affected him positively, I am 32, I work, I paint, I sing and I read E/E
Please house what's there to hate abt me. I ve never had any encounter with them most of them don't even know my lifestyle... What am I missing in this puzzle?

That family doesn't see you as anything other than a nurse/maid, that's why they were angry with you for not camping in the hospital when he had surgery. At this point your main focus should be YOU, not your ex-fiance or his spiteful people. If he's still having any health issues, his people should handle it. He is no longer your problem henceforth, in fact block every means of communication from him. Start living for yourself, put yourself out there, make yourself attractive both physically and mentally, work on your carriage and self-esteem. Trust me, a more presentable man with a lovely family will come your way.