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Women's English Vs. Men's English - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Hausa English Vs Akwa Ibom English / Women’s English / Women's English .vs. Men's English (2) (3) (4)

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Women's English Vs. Men's English by jbuoy(m): 9:56pm On Mar 17, 2007
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you slowpoke!
You're , so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

MEN'S ENGLISH:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to handle you
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now
I love you, too = Okay, I said it, we'd better have sex now!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay

5 Likes

Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by BlinkT(f): 10:55am On May 22, 2012
nice 1

1 Like

Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Nobody: 2:37pm On May 23, 2012
Nansense!!!, rabbish!!

That's definitely not my English tongue
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Beaf1: 2:37pm On May 23, 2012
So Blink are you in total agreement with all he posted about women?
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Nobody: 2:37pm On May 23, 2012
And this Poo made the front page, Smh for nairaland. Am out of here. Mtcheew
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Yorisb: 2:51pm On May 23, 2012
^^
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Nobody: 2:52pm On May 23, 2012
Can someone tell me what a woman mean, when she says: "I don't know?" grin
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by codernoni: 2:58pm On May 23, 2012
What's wrong with evrybody saying shit about posts making the frontpage? U know u can't change it so why not STFU or go thru the back page! KMT
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Korrection(m): 2:58pm On May 23, 2012
What are Nairaland moderators doing self....they just pump anything on the frontpage...what the fvck is all these bullshit.....NEXT

1 Like

Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Korrection(m): 3:00pm On May 23, 2012
codernoni :
What's wrong with evrybody saying shit about posts making the frontpage? U know u can't change it so why not STFU or go thru the back page! KMT

In one sentence please explain what you understand about the post..
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Nobody: 3:02pm On May 23, 2012
Staleeeeeeeeeeeee but still funny grin
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by kombats: 3:04pm On May 23, 2012
d women own is somehw correct but d men own na total rubbish. What do u mean dat every guy mind is sex sex sex. Oga park well
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by toluxa1(m): 3:05pm On May 23, 2012
shymmex: Can someone tell me what a woman mean, when she says: "I don't know?" grin

Means "whatever u say! Have it your way"

Are these frontpage topics put there manually or automatically? If its automaticaly, u have to get the system checked, if manualy, lipsrsealed shocked
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Nobody: 3:16pm On May 23, 2012
LOL!!! Women english.. So correct! (to a point sha)
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Yorisb: 3:37pm On May 23, 2012
BlueBarbie: LOL!!! Women english.. So correct!

shocked lipsrsealed
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by rastamouse: 3:49pm On May 23, 2012
Very funny...that is really great observation and 90 percent accurate cheesy
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Dagods(m): 4:07pm On May 23, 2012
Abeg na wo kil dele giwa?hehehe..na baba-if u put am gida na u sabi.
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Nobody: 4:58pm On May 23, 2012
chineke God, hahahahaahah, lolz, shei, proudly a man. in my nex world, i will be a man
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Montalo(m): 5:03pm On May 23, 2012
99% accurate! LWKMD!!
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by ITbomb(m): 5:40pm On May 23, 2012
Whatever = ?
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by chucky234(m): 6:42pm On May 23, 2012
Thats why women call is darlin in our presence and send us straight to hell without blicking an eydlid, nice observation bro.
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Nobody: 9:56pm On May 23, 2012
kombats[color=red:
d women own is somehw correct but d men own na total rubbish. What do u mean dat every guy mind is sex sex sex. Oga park well[/color]

You mean men actually think of other things??
WOW.
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Ajibel(m): 10:08pm On May 23, 2012
ArrAntUs nOnsEnsIcUs angry angry angry
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by paleo(m): 10:23pm On May 23, 2012
We need to talk = I need to complain nothing is more accurate than this... this got me laffing real hard.. grin cheesy cheesy wink cheesy grin
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by philipstanley(m): 11:10pm On May 23, 2012
I total agree wit dat of de women nt de men
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by ifihearam: 12:45am On May 24, 2012
That of the women is somehow true buh the men is bullshit
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by ril19(m): 4:03am On May 24, 2012
this is simply hillarious. It got me laughing out loud in a public bus and u know wat dat means.
;Dthis is simply hillarious. It got me laughing out loud in a public bus and u know wat dat means










;Dthis is simply hillarious. It got me suddenly laughing out loud in a public bus and u know wat dat means.
grin. Just like most people commented, d ladies' part is argueably correct, but i have some reservations about d guy's part
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Nobody: 10:07am On May 24, 2012
Sumhow funny...
Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by Eminentsam(m): 10:12am On May 24, 2012
Pls guys how do i write a post on nairaland here.i did 3times last bt neva saw it posted till 2day.plz how do i make it i realy hv smting i wl like ppl to advice me on.tnx

1 Like

Re: Women's English Vs. Men's English by greedie1(f): 10:13am On May 24, 2012
Oh well, wen i say do wat u want, dts a sign of an impending disaster... Dis is so on point, 99% accurate.

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