Sometimes in life things don't always happen the way we plan. When it comes to love, we always dream of a Hollywood ending or a Cinderella ending. It's not always like that, for instance, you fall in love with a guy who you are ready to do anything and go anywhere for and you just believe he is the one.

Then comes this other guy who loves you right and is ready to do anything for you but you just don't feel the same way. What do you do when the wrong one loves you right and the one you love is scared of committment

Well, luther vandross got it right when he sang that "if you cant be with the one you love, love the one you're with".

What's the point when the one you think you love cant love you the way you deserve, life's too short abeg!

If you can't have wat you want, want what you have . .

why are you dating two people at the same time

If the one you love doesn't love you back then you shouldn't waste anymore time on that person and as for the one who loves you but you dont love, set him straight and free him so he can give his love to a derserving person while you search for your right fit

"i am breaking her heart, i know, but i have gat to also repect my feelings"

For me, let "poster or whoever" stick to the one that is loving her right (never be the second best)

hope "*****" reads dis, cuz it's the truth from mi hart

alors y faire face

first, give the one that love's you a chance, by doing so, you will see the good aspects of him.
for the one who is not loving you right, gradually draw away from him, he does not deserve you,
and with time you will get to love and appreciate the one who loves you, its reciprocal,
finally, there is no need being with a guy who gives you butterflies, yet you give him none and he puts
you on your toes, you think better when the man loves you more than you do him,
i wish you all the best, and may you survive this in the best of ways.

If d one dat loves u more is someone u think u can b with in d long run, give him a chance. . . if he looks like someone u might cheat on due to d lack of attraction (assuming u gave him a chance to get to know him), then move on oo, no point! another fish will love u more too

make sure u discharge as fast as possible d one who shows little or no affection for u.

@ omega25red I'm not dating two guys the second guy I'm not even dating he just believes I'm the one.

The truth is I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with the second guy cos we're not compatible in a lot of ways. The guy I love is not fully showing it, deep down I feel he loves me cos their is a heart connection. I believe he is the one guess he needs time to pop the question,

@poster
you are confused. you should sit down and decide what are your priorities in "the right one"

jamestab:

first, give the one that love's you a chance, by doing so, you will see the good aspects of him.
for the one who is not loving you right, gradually draw away from him, he does not deserve you,
and with time you will get to love and appreciate the one who loves you, its reciprocal,
finally, there is no need being with a guy who gives you butterflies, yet you give him none and he puts
you on your toes, you think better when the man loves you more than you do him,
i wish you all the best, and may you survive this in the best of ways.

On Point!!

ITgurlie:

@ omega25red I'm not dating two guys the second guy I'm not even dating he just believes I'm the one.

The truth is I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with the second guy cos we're not compatible in a lot of ways. The guy I love is not fully showing it, deep down I feel he loves me cos their is a heart connection. I believe he is the one guess he needs time to pop the question,

my dear, we like to deceive ourselves. you feel he loves you simply because that is what you want to believe. when a guy likes a girl, he doesnt bother hiding it (thats how come you know that the other guy you are not attracted to likes you). i think you should smell the coffee and go with the one that loves you more. YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BE SECOND BEST MY DEAR, YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO.

hmmmm,

@poster,d big decision lies with you.Like you said in one of your posts,"ladies have great instinct",follow watever your heart tells you.Am sure this same guy also luvs you very well earlier in your relationship,its a normal thing in luv cycle just be consistent with your luv he will come back to the first luv that is if the luv existed in the first place.But like i said the big decision lies with you.

So you have someone that loves you but you are chasing a dream. Thats why is not good to be the nice loving and caring guy.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
you are confused. you should sit down and decide what are your priorities in "the right one"

nah it's not about confusion he's just scared of commitment.

Toppytee:

@poster,d big decision lies with you.Like you said in one of your posts,"ladies have great instinct",follow watever your heart tells you.Am sure this same guy also luvs you very well earlier in your relationship,its a normal thing in luv cycle just be consistent with your luv he will come back to the first luv that is if the luv existed in the first place.But like i said the big decision lies with you.

my heart says I'm with the right guy cos the one who says he loves me I can't feel his vision.

MikeLarry:

So you have someone that loves you but you are chasing a dream. Thats why is not good to be the nice loving and caring guy.

I'm not chasing after a dream, to be with someone you can't understand or trust is not good for any relationship. It may not be love from the other guy as he claimed it could be something else cos love is deeper than the physical it's all in the heart,

ITgurlie:

nah it's not about confusion he's just scared of commitment.

so because the guy is not ready/scared of commitment NOW, you have decided to shop around for something better. . . . . . . . . . and even dare to compare him with the new guy.

can you pls elaborate on what is the problem with guy number one because i saw you wrote about lack of understanding/trust.

you story sounds like all these "body clock thinking, closer to 30yrs old" desperate women.

MRbrownJAY:

so because the guy is not ready/scared of commitment NOW, you have decided to shop around for something better. . . . . . . . . . and even dare to compare him with the new guy.

can you pls elaborate on what is the problem with guy number one because i saw you wrote about lack of understanding/trust.

you story sounds like all these "body clock thinking, closer to 30yrs old" desperate women.

this is the thing, it's wrong to compare your relationship with others. I'm not seeing another guy cos it's against my belief it happens to be that the second guy I've not even gone on a date with him, but he feels he loves me cos he always calls(if u're wondering how he got my number somebody gave out my number).

I say he's the wrong one cos I feel he's just thinkin based on what someone told him. I love my guy very much and would do nothing to hurt him.

The reason for the "wrong one loving you right" is becos of lack of communication and has been resolved. I just wish the other guy would see it that there's no future for us cos true love is in the heart alone,

ITgurlie:

this is the thing, it's wrong to compare your relationship with others. I'm not seeing another guy cos it's against my belief it happens to be that the second guy I've not even gone on a date with him, but he feels he loves me cos he always calls(if u're wondering how he got my number somebody gave out my number).

I say he's the wrong one cos I feel he's just thinkin based on what someone told him. I love my guy very much and would do nothing to hurt him.

The reason for the "wrong one loving you right" is becos of lack of communication and has been resolved. I just wish the other guy would see it that there's no future for us cos true love is in the heart alone,

but the fact that you question yourself now because of this new guy means that you are, at least , considering that other guy. you shouldnt even talk about this other guy because he is of no value. . . . . . . .someone who says he loves you but has never spent any time with you, come on!

you are just in a rush for someone to "pop the question"as you so well put it. take your time, better be single than married to the wrong person.

pls can you explain what you wrote:"I feel he's just thinkin based on what someone told him". . . . . . . . . . . .  are you saying that he listens to what other people are saying about the relationship?

MRbrownJAY:

pls can you explain what you wrote:"I feel he's just thinkin based on what someone told him". . . . . . . . . . . .  are you saying that he listens to what other people are saying about the relationship?

I was referring to the second guy, he doesn't really know me and I don't really know him. Someone gave him my number and the giver of the number must have said a lot of things about me to him and right now he's doing his best to get into my good book. He just believes I'm the one

I'm not in a hurry to pop the question, but you may not believe it the second guy already has and is doing all the things guys in love do (staying in touch and all that, )

ITgurlie:

Sometimes in life things don't always happen the way we plan. When it comes to love, we always dream of a Hollywood ending or a Cinderella ending. It's not always like that, for instance, you fall in love with a guy who you are ready to do anything and go anywhere for and you just believe he is the one.

Then comes this other guy who loves you right and is ready to do anything for you but you just don't feel the same way. What do you do when the wrong one loves you right and the one you love is scared of committment

irony of life

@ITGurl Is that how things are done? He's never been on a date with you, his idea of you is totally based on what someone else told him. Now he's popped the Question to marry you. ONly a gullible "over 30" "i must marry now" syndrome person will fall for that crap. Maybe he wants to take the advantage of your marriage desperation or clicking body clock.(maybe the person dat gave him ur number also told him u wish to marry soon). And alas, you're falling for it by even flirting with the idea in the first place. He stays in touch, calls you and does everything a man in love would do. you too pick his calls and smile and spend time with him on the phone,
My 2 cents

mikkyphp:

@ITGurl Is that how things are done? He's never been on a date with you, his idea of you is totally based on what someone else told him. Now he's popped the Question to marry you. ONly a gullible "over 30" "i must marry now" syndrome person will fall for that crap. Maybe he wants to take the advantage of your marriage desperation or clicking body clock.(maybe the person dat gave him your number also told him u wish to marry soon). And alas, you're falling for it by even flirting with the idea in the first place. He stays in touch, calls you and does everything a man in love would do. you too pick his calls and smile and spend time with him on the phone,
My 2 cents

I'm not desperate, age is just a number and for ur info he's the one in a hurry not me.

Anyways, I've learnt something and that is to hold on to what you have no matter what and never let circumstances dictate one's decision cos in life we all have tests and trials. So I'm good now, cos I know my guy is the one and he really loves me

Thanx all for your contributions

Can't run, can't hide, can't resist it when the wrong one loves you right. . . If u don't love him let him go cos if u stay u'll always wonder if there's a right one for you out there. . . Besides you got to know what you want cos from what I'm seeing I think you re confused. . . Outline what u want in a guy, the quality and stuff. . . Give urself a break. . . See why we discourage double dating? Always make u think double. Life is not always a fairy tale like celine dion song. . .

African_queen:

Can't run, can't hide, can't resist it when the wrong one loves you right. . . If u don't love him let him go cos if u stay u'll always wonder if there's a right one for you out there. . . Besides you got to know what you want cos from what I'm seeing I think you re confused. . . Outline what u want in a guy, the quality and stuff. . . Give urself a break. . . See why we discourage double dating? Always make u think double. Life is not always a fairy tale like celine dion song. . .

I' not staying with him neither am I double dating, he's the one after me cos I'm not engaged to anyone but in a serious relationship with my guy. That's why he's after me and all,

The second guy feels he's the one, But I know he isn't

like I said earlier it's been resolved by me, I'll just focus on my love

That is exactly what i am going through now, i know he is scared of committment , but if it becomes tight you can move on. One thing i have learnt is that even with a hundred years, you can never know a man.

So you have someone that loves you but you are chasing a dream. Thats why is not good to be the nice loving and caring guy.

True talk because girls never likes the guys that shows too much love rather they prefer the guys that acts like they dont feel anything for the gurl

ITgurlie:

I' not staying with him neither am I double dating, he's the one after me cos I'm not engaged to anyone but in a serious relationship with my guy. That's why he's after me and all,

The second guy feels he's the one, But I know he isn't

like I said earlier it's been resolved by me, I'll just focus on my love

I didn't say u were staying wit him, wat I meant is if u date him. Anyway good choice focus on the one u love. . . Listen to your heart and use your head. . .

So how do u know 2nd guy loves u cos he calls?

What's all this talk about 'scared of commitment' I wonder what's wrong with guys/girls of these days,
I dont see a matured minded guy being sacred of commitment if you havent given him a reason to, only a Lilly-livered man will be afraid to take up challenges and stand up for what he believe in. Ladies these days do not listen to their hearts even when there are clear signals of trouble,  be wise.

ITgurlie and Lebee you girls need re-evaluate your relationship with these guys cos I smell a rat. To me only a man who is not sure about his girl will be scared to be committed totally.

ITgurlie you sounds kinda desperate and men will always take advantage of that, You had hardly gotten aacquaintedwith the second guy and u are already fantasizing about 'the wrong one loving you right' just because he calls you. I guess that's your guy's perception about you that is making him scared to pop the question

Damysa:

What's all this talk about 'scared of committment' I wonder what's wrong with guys/girls of these days,
I dont see a matured minded guy being sacred of committment if you havent given him a reason to, only a lilly-livered man will be afraid to take up challenges and stand up for what he beleive in. Ladies these days do not listen to their hearts even when there are clear signals of trouble, be wise

ITgurlie and Lebee you girls need re-evaluate your relationship with these guys cos I smell a rat. To me only a man who is not sure about his girl will be scared to be committed totally.

Okay,