my dad can't be explain, hot today cold tomorrow..... and he get angry easily... I can't just explain his behavior. but he is kind and responsible

IhateRetards:

Guy I feel your pain.....If they have not stop just do whats good for you and forget them.....Its not easy to stop being addicted to what one uses.... They think you can just turn it of lyk an ON and OFF switch not knwing that there was a cause for the addiction in the first place....Since you knw the cause I believe u have ur own plan on how to tackle it....Just wish you luck on ur journey to recovery

Thanks brov, they're a lot of understanding peeps on this forum as there are total retards....

Funny life....I've stayed sober for 5days now and I hope to move on from there daily....so help me God....

It's real hard cos the relief alcohol gives is incredible but it's always temporary and bites back hard afterwards to ruin the individual totally.

Knowing this is not enough but knowing HOW to apply this knowledge is what is actually called WISDOM

Earthbound:


Just let it rest, bro. Holding on to certain things causes more hurt than good. Just let go. It's what any reasonable psychiatrist will tell you. Forgive them for whatever their sins were and move on. You don't even have to be friendly with them. Just live and let go. However hard it may be, you must teach yourself to do just that.

This exactly is what I mean by not forgiving them....the letting go aspect is what I'm tryna do, it's not as if I'm gonna be planning how to hurt them or something, but we'll simply NEVER be a family again once I've repaired my battered esteem.

There are family you're born into and there are those you choose....

Dad wasn't around much... so no connection there but Mum feels she's always right even when she isn't, doesn't listen and quick to judge....she can nag for Africa.

I will give my kids a chance to grow into strong adults...be accessible and their best friend, correct with love and try to understand their point of view.

themodernman:

So their wickedness should be forgiven despite Mt doing good to them right? They should get away with my esteem they made sure they eroded with their disgustingly bossy attitude right?

You kuku said you don't pity people like me simply because I decided to pay back my enemies in their own coin....so screw you too!

How many people have you honestly forgiven in this life?

Empty barrel.

I passed through worst situation by family member than u and I'm a lady. So terrible. Did it break me, yes. Did I want to end it all,yes but one day I decided to purge myself of all bitterness and move on. I forgave the person cos sometimes people that wrongs don't know better.

Was had showing love at first but I killed the person with love and generosity yet kept the person at arm's length even though I habour no grudge.
At first, it's easier to cloud oneself with self pity. Nobody cares. Self pity is an attention seeking agent.
Not different from what toto dike is doing out there.
Selfishness breeds self pity. It eats ONLY u away. The world will be better of losing one person that thinks the world revolves around him.
Ur write up wreck of righteous mentality not low self esteem,man.
We should clap for u that u will soon embark on a revenge mission.

Go and read about the life of some prominent people that made it after passing through toture. The toture became an avenue for them to shine and not go on revenge.
I'm not surprised u are not doing fine. U will never do with this mindset. So warped.

I will not shove any religious indoctrination down their throats. Raise them in a modest Christian lifestyle but overzealousness, and religious bigotry is a no no no

themodernman:



This exactly is what I mean by not forgiving them....the letting go aspect is what I'm tryna do, it's not as if I'm gonna be planning how to hurt them or something, but we'll simply NEVER be a family again once I've repaired my battered esteem.

There are family you're born into and there are those you choose....

I also agree with other people's views about forgiveness. I don't think you can move forward genuinely while holding on to people.

You cannot sentence people to life imprisonment, 5yrs, 10yrs in your heart and be ok.

The annoying thing about unforgiveness is that it affects the party that holds the grudge more. You see your siblings living their lives happy and oblivious of your hatred for them and it will pain you the more.

They offended you but you are the one carrying the load for them.

It is better you use them to learn forgiveness now because marriage has a way of bringing out the best and worst in people. So that you will not be keeping malice with your wife every now and then.

All the best. You guys will laugh over it soon.

sassysure:


I passed through worst situation by family member than u and I'm a lady. So terrible. Did it break me, yes. Did I want to end it all,yes but one day I decided to purge myself of all bitterness and move on. I forgave the person cos sometimes people that wrongs don't know better.

Was had showing love at first but I killed the person with love and generosity yet kept the person at arm's length even though I habour no grudge.
At first, it's easier to cloud oneself with self pity. Nobody cares. Self pity is an attention seeking agent.
Not different from what toto dike is doing out there.
Selfishness breeds self pity. It eats ONLY u away. The world will be better of losing one person that thinks the world revolves around him.
Ur write up wreck of righteous mentality not low self esteem,man.
We should clap for u that u will soon embark on a revenge mission.

Go and read about the life of some prominent people that made it after passing through toture. The toture became an avenue for them to shine and not go on revenge.
I'm not surprised u are not doing fine. U will never do with this mindset. So warped.

Let me chip in here sassy sure

I understand the point you're trying to drive home but I'd say this approach isn't the best to use on someone in his position.

We preach forgiveness so easily, but in reality, it's difficult to do, especially in a case like his. It's easy to let go and purge when there's remorse from the abusers, but this is clearly not so with him. His folks do not acknowledge they abused him and his feelings too are not validated. It's as if he's just out to make trouble while they go around, acting like nothing happened.

I've been there...the pain is indescribable. People who should be your allies, turn around and gang up against you because they are older. Making you feel like you're insane for saying they wronged you. Whatever wrong done to you is turned on its head is dumped on you.

What am I trying to say- while I agree it's best to forgive and let go, I also understand why he seems stuck where he is at the time and the struggles he's faced with. Seeking revenge is what makes him human, not because he's evil. It's totally normal to see people who hurt you being paid back in their own coin. Don't berate him for that. He can only step out of this situation better when he finds the love and support he craves for.

Judging and slamming him for being human isn't the way to go. The pain of betrayal by loved ones runs deep. All he needs is encouragement, love, support from people who won't judge him further but just for once; listen to the pains that lie in his heart.

Op, if you're reading this, i'd recommend therapy. You need to work through the stages of abuse you've gone through. You need to understand why they happened, possible see if in any way, you played a role in enabling it. You need to unburden and release the pent up pain. Only then will your healing start. I'm sure once you start to feel better, the thought of revenge will ebb gradually.

Stay strong and may light find its way to you

I want my children to be free to speak up...not being timid and shy. I won't shut them down or overreact when they try to tell me something. So that i keep communication open.

I won't make beating a norm. I will give them a chance to defend their actions and tell me why they shouldn't be punished.

I won't act like i know it all. Let them know i can learn from them.

Allow them be what they want to be. Doesn't have to be doctor, lawyer,etc.

Being judgemental

Lwkmd can't just stop laughing since lol

BlissB:
My mum especially..... she instilled fear in us because of her beating...i can never confide in her......i was scared of her as a child and sometimes, now. i remember wen i was small then,she was bathing me and was washing my private part(if my mum day baf u, e day b like say na iron sponge she day tk scrub ur body and DAT thing day vex me especially d kpekus)....out of annoyance i say e day pepper me.....my mum head twist....she quickly change am for me say person day touch am dats y e day pepper me....this woman beat me black and blue to tell am the person..... the beating was so much that i had to lie that its one boy that we usually play together.... under rain me and my mum match go the boy house.....i watched the dad beat the innocent boy......my mum went as far as going to my primary school then to tell my proprietress to make sure that boy stayed far from me.....and that was how we stopped talking..... i still day find the boy make i beg am....the length my mum usually go is always too far....hope God forgives me sha

tendy08:

Let me chip in here sassy sure

I understand the point you're trying to drive home but I'd say this approach isn't the best to use on someone in his position.

We preach forgiveness so easily, but in reality, it's difficult to do, especially in a case like his. It's easy to let go and purge when there's remorse from the abusers, but this is clearly not so with him. His folks do not acknowledge they abused him and his feelings too are not validated. It's as if he's just out to make trouble while they go around, acting like nothing happened.

I've been there...the pain is indescribable. People who should be your allies, turn around and gang up against you because they are older. Making you feel like you're insane for saying they wronged you. Whatever wrong done to you is turned on its head is dumped on you.

What am I trying to say- while I agree it's best to forgive and let go, I also understand why he seems stuck where he is at the time and the struggles he's faced with. Seeking revenge is what makes him human, not because he's evil. It's totally normal to see people who hurt you being paid back in their own coin. Don't berate him for that. He can only step out of this situation better when he finds the love and support he craves for.

Judging and slamming him for being human isn't the way to go. The pain of betrayal by loved ones runs deep. All he needs is encouragement, love, support from people who won't judge him further but just for once; listen to the pains that lie in his heart.

Op, if you're reading this, i'd recommend therapy. You need to work through the stages of abuse you've gone through. You need to understand why they happened, possible see if in any way, you played a role in enabling it. You need to unburden and release the pent up pain. Only then will your healing start. I'm sure once you start to feel better, the thought of revenge will ebb gradually.

Stay strong and may light find its way to you

You're a wise person. Your sense complete.

Some times also our parents are themselves a product of improper upbringing and have their own emotional and situational battles. We should sometimes bear with them and try to understand their short coming.

My parents try I nor go lie. May dad was a taxi driver and was a jolly good fellow. He will always buy suya when coming back home from work by around 11pm. Then if you sleep before papa come back from work, na your luck be that, u don miss suya. The rule among we siblings is no waking of anybody wey sleep . Sometimes my mum go forget go wake person, we go vex for her. It was fun. That was around 1992. But i lost my easy going dad in 1995 to road accident.

My mum became the bread winner of our home taking care of me and my six siblings. Na wetin my papa brothers do, i nor go ever do for my life. Dem come carry all my papa property and abandoned us the children for my mum. But God love us and my mum na strong woman with love for God. She hustle take care of us go school.

Growing up with no father figure, i wan be lose guard dey join area boys. My mother begin cry, wake me for night dey advise me. I come call myself to advise say why i dey lose guard like this, this woman want my good and i better behave. From then on I change my ways, my mum was very happy and proud. I come serious for church become teens president, dem pass my exam without problem and gain admission. My mum treat me like egg. She go rather make mosquitoes come bite her than make the mosquitoes bite me. Pet me like small pikin. I love her to pieces. People dey call me her husband because I be the first son as well. When i came back from NYSC after graduation, she wan come carry bucket of water go bathroom for me to take bath. I just rush am say, momsy stop stop, i can do that myself na. She wan kill me with love and petting. But she is no longer with us on earth as she went to be with the Lord in 2016. But the training and education she had given me is sustaining me and only God know why he calls her and I still blessed God for everything. She is my idol and role model.

I will pamper my children the way my mum pamper me while still instilling crucial life lessons in them like hard work and discipline.

ImaIma1:


I also agree with other people's views about forgiveness. I don't think you can move forward genuinely while holding on to people.

You cannot sentence people to life imprisonment, 5yrs, 10yrs in your heart and be ok.

The annoying thing about unforgiveness is that it affects the party that holds the grudge more. You see your siblings living their lives happy and oblivious of your hatred for them and it will pain you the more.

They offended you but you are the one carrying the load for them.

It is better you use them to learn forgiveness now because marriage has a way of bringing out the best and worst in people. So that you will not be keeping malice with your wife every now and then.

All the best. You guys will laugh over it soon.

My dear, you can decide not to forgive a person by ignoring them and not being bitter about it. You can't tell me you laugh or jist with everyone on earth. There are people you don't enjoy their company for reasons best know to you, does that mean you're bitter with them? Do you wanna tell me you can be friends with everyone? Some may not even wrong you, yet you don't like them. Does that mean you're bitter with them?

That's d logic I'm gonna use....

sassysure:


I passed through worst situation by family member than u and I'm a lady. So terrible. Did it break me, yes. Did I want to end it all,yes but one day I decided to purge myself of all bitterness and move on. I forgave the person cos sometimes people that wrongs don't know better.

Was had showing love at first but I killed the person with love and generosity yet kept the person at arm's length even though I habour no grudge.
At first, it's easier to cloud oneself with self pity. Nobody cares. Self pity is an attention seeking agent.
Not different from what toto dike is doing out there.
Selfishness breeds self pity. It eats ONLY u away. The world will be better of losing one person that thinks the world revolves around him.
Ur write up wreck of righteous mentality not low self esteem,man.
We should clap for u that u will soon embark on a revenge mission.

Go and read about the life of some prominent people that made it after passing through toture. The toture became an avenue for them to shine and not go on revenge.
I'm not surprised u are not doing fine. U will never do with this mindset. So warped.

Oh my writeup reeks of self-righteousness again? No longer low self esteem? So if one prefers doing good and gets angry for being paid back with bad, it becomes self-righteousness right?

My dear you're not only confused, you're lost.

Fools like you will be taken advantage of by a man who beats the hell out of them cos you'll "kill" them with love

I pity your foolishness, you're ignorantly weak dear....

There are fools who kill their enemies with love, and there are those who destroy them by treating them like they don't exist no matter the attention they try to get...

I'll go with the latter....

tendy08:

Let me chip in here sassy sure

I understand the point you're trying to drive home but I'd say this approach isn't the best to use on someone in his position.

We preach forgiveness so easily, but in reality, it's difficult to do, especially in a case like his. It's easy to let go and purge when there's remorse from the abusers, but this is clearly not so with him. His folks do not acknowledge they abused him and his feelings too are not validated. It's as if he's just out to make trouble while they go around, acting like nothing happened.

I've been there...the pain is indescribable. People who should be your allies, turn around and gang up against you because they are older. Making you feel like you're insane for saying they wronged you. Whatever wrong done to you is turned on its head is dumped on you.

What am I trying to say- while I agree it's best to forgive and let go, I also understand why he seems stuck where he is at the time and the struggles he's faced with. Seeking revenge is what makes him human, not because he's evil. It's totally normal to see people who hurt you being paid back in their own coin. Don't berate him for that. He can only step out of this situation better when he finds the love and support he craves for.

Judging and slamming him for being human isn't the way to go. The pain of betrayal by loved ones runs deep. All he needs is encouragement, love, support from people who won't judge him further but just for once; listen to the pains that lie in his heart.

Op, if you're reading this, i'd recommend therapy. You need to work through the stages of abuse you've gone through. You need to understand why they happened, possible see if in any way, you played a role in enabling it. You need to unburden and release the pent up pain. Only then will your healing start. I'm sure once you start to feel better, the thought of revenge will ebb gradually.

Stay strong and may light find its way to you

Chai, sense wee not kee you sir.
Too much sense in a person.

Twale baba..

Dr. Robert Chase: You know how I got interested in medicine? When my mother drank, she couldn't handle me, so she locked me in my father's study. Only so many hours you can cry and bang the door before you give up and try and find something to read. We all have family disfunction. That's why we're so successful- to fill the hole.

Dr. Gregory House: Your parents screwed you up by not screwing you up.

Dr. Jessica Adams: How does briefly wishing I was screwed up make me screwed up?

Dr. Gregory House: It's normal to be screwed up. It's really screwed up to romanticize it. Guess that's why you wanted to work with prisoners.

Dr. Jessica Adams: It's why I wanted to work with you.

Dr. Gregory House: Makes sense. Park's tiger mom and dad were so insufferable, she used to measure their affection in hours. Chase's careerist dad, and alcholoic mom were so indifferent, he's visibly awash. Your turn, what did you screwed up parents do to screw up your view of parenting?

Dr. Jessica Adams: They were good parents.

Dr. Gregory House: That's an oxymoron.

Dr. Chris Taub: I didn't tell him.

Dr. Gregory House: Your heart said he needed to know. Your brain knew he's better off without it. Following your heart is easy. Following your brain is tough. Especially after years of following that much smaller organ. That's why all parents screw up all children.


Dr. James Wilson: Your biological father was a decent God-fearing minister. The man who raised you was a cold-hearted jerk. I'm trying to figure out why you're so convinced Adam has parentally inflicted damage.

Dr. Gregory House: You're trying to deflect.

Dr. James Wilson: No, you are. You have to believe that every parent screws up every child or you were screwed out of a decent childhood.

Dr. Gregory House: My decent daddy of the cloth was also being indecent with my married mom. He probably would've taken all her kids to the playground.

Dr. Chi Park: Do you only like tests that involve the risk of death.

Dr. Gregory House: There are some slower less conclusive test, but why take that risk?

Dr. Eric Foreman: My job is to be the jerk. House has to believe I have authority over him.

Dr. James Wilson: He can't function under someone's thumb.

Dr. Eric Foreman: I know which means you can't go either.

[Wilson sits down]

Dr. Eric Foreman: Your job is to be his friend -to stay here and watch the fight on pay-per-view while bitching about me. If we both do our jobs, we might actually get him through his parole.

Dr. Chris Taub: You're 16, plenty of time to make money. Wanting to build a connection with your dad -pass on some of the joy he gave you. That's not stupid at all.

themodernman:


Oh my writeup reeks of self-righteousness again? No longer low self esteem? So if one prefers doing good and gets angry for being paid back with bad, it becomes self-righteousness right?

My dear you're not only confused, you're lost.

Fools like you will be taken advantage of by a man who beats the hell out of them cos you'll "kill" them with love

I pity your foolishness, you're ignorantly weak dear....

There are fools who kill their enemies with love, and there are those who destroy them by treating them like they don't exist no matter the attention they try to get...

I'll go with the latter....

Revenge seeker, come and tell us when u must have executed ur revenge.
Hope it gladdens your poor and weak heart.

I pity the hospital that employs a sore loser like u. In the next 5 yrs ur hand will sure shake while holding surgical blade or needle. Wish ur license can be revoked too cos u are not worthy of being called a medical dr.
Nigeria don't evaluate people b4 employing them psychologically else I bet u, u will never get employed anywhere cos u are a danger to patients.

I have entertained u enough.
In one yr time, u can resurrect this post and tag, that's when I will respond to a wandering soul like u.

sassysure:

Revenge seeker, come and tell us when u must have executed ur revenge.
Hope it gladdens your poor and weak heart.

I pity the hospital that employs a sore loser like u. In the next 5 yrs ur hand will sure shake while holding surgical blade or needle. Wish ur license can be revoked too cos u are not worthy of being called a medical dr.
Nigeria don't evaluate people b4 employing them psychologically else I bet u, u will never get employed anywhere cos u are a danger to patients.

I have entertained u enough.
In one yr time, u can resurrect this post and tag, that's when I will respond to a wandering soul like u.

Ode of a troller, better go look for another person to troll...

Just yapping revenge upadan like a demented clown....

Daft idiot

You both just want to kill the flow in this thread.

Dfavouredone:
Some times also our parents are themselves a product of improper upbringing and have their own emotional and situational battles. We should sometimes bear with them and try to understand their short coming.

My parents try I nor go lie. May dad was a taxi driver and was a jolly good fellow. He will always buy suya when coming back home from work by around 11pm. Then if you sleep before papa come back from work, na your luck be that, u don miss suya. The rule among we siblings is no waking of anybody wey sleep . Sometimes my mum go forget go wake person, we go vex for her. It was fun. That was around 1992. But i lost my easy going dad in 1995 to road accident.

My mum became the bread winner of our home taking care of me and my six siblings. Na wetin my papa brother do, i nor go ever do for me life. Dem come carry all my papa property and abandoned us the children for my mum. But God love us and my mum na strong woman with love for God. She hustle take care of us go school.

Growing with no father figure, i wan be lose guard dey join area boys. My mother begin cry, wake me for night dey advise me. I come come myself to advise say why i dey lose guard like this, this woman want my good and i better behave. From then on I change my ways, my mum was very happy and proud. I come serious for church become teens president, dem pass my exam without problem and gain admission. My mum treat me like egg. She go rather make mosquitoes come bite her than make the mosquitoes bite me. Pet me like small pikin. I love her to pieces. People dey call me her husband because I be the first son as well. When i came back from NYSC after graduation, she wan come carry bucket of water go bathroom for me to take bath. I just rush am say, momsy stop stop, i can do myself na. She wan kill me with love and petting. But she is no longer with us on earth as she went to be with the Lord in 2016. But the training and education she given me is sustaining me and only God know why he calls her and I still blessed God for everything. She is my idol and role model.

I will pauper my children the way my mum pauper me while still instilling crucial life lessons in them like hard work and discipline.

What a touching story, may their souls continue to rest in peace. It's 'pamper 'though, not 'pauper'.

Dfavouredone:
Some times also our parents are themselves a product of improper upbringing and have their own emotional and situational battles. We should sometimes bear with them and try to understand their short coming.

My parents try I nor go lie. May dad was a taxi driver and was a jolly good fellow. He will always buy suya when coming back home from work by around 11pm. Then if you sleep before papa come back from work, na your luck be that, u don miss suya. The rule among we siblings is no waking of anybody wey sleep . Sometimes my mum go forget go wake person, we go vex for her. It was fun. That was around 1992. But i lost my easy going dad in 1995 to road accident.

My mum became the bread winner of our home taking care of me and my six siblings. Na wetin my papa brother do, i nor go ever do for me life. Dem come carry all my papa property and abandoned us the children for my mum. But God love us and my mum na strong woman with love for God. She hustle take care of us go school.

Growing with no father figure, i wan be lose guard dey join area boys. My mother begin cry, wake me for night dey advise me. I come come myself to advise say why i dey lose guard like this, this woman want my good and i better behave. From then on I change my ways, my mum was very happy and proud. I come serious for church become teens president, dem pass my exam without problem and gain admission. My mum treat me like egg. She go rather make mosquitoes come bite her than make the mosquitoes bite me. Pet me like small pikin. I love her to pieces. People dey call me her husband because I be the first son as well. When i came back from NYSC after graduation, she wan come carry bucket of water go bathroom for me to take bath. I just rush am say, momsy stop stop, i can do myself na. She wan kill me with love and petting. But she is no longer with us on earth as she went to be with the Lord in 2016. But the training and education she given me is sustaining me and only God know why he calls her and I still blessed God for everything. She is my idol and role model.

I will pauper my children the way my mum pauper me while still instilling crucial life lessons in them like hard work and discipline.

May they look upon you from Heaven and may your joy be their joy. Amen.

Adukey:



What a touching story, may their souls continue to rest in peace. It's 'pamper 'though, not 'pauper'.

Amen.

Thanks for the correction.

Mindfulness:


May they look upon you from Heaven and may your joy be their joy. Amen.

Amen.

Mofpearl:
Can't think of anything right now but I want to raise my kids to be assertive. I want to raise my kids to have a mind of their own, speak their minds, stand up for themselves, and understand that respect isn't by age.

I love this

RuthlessLeader:
Beating the child

Insulting for every small thing

Comparing them to everyone

True, very annoying traits.

themodernman:


And their core focus on spiritualizing everything instead of focusing on the underlying issue causing a problem.

My issues at work now is obviously from my damaged self esteem, I'm a medical doctor so it even makes it easier to diagnose, my immediate elder brother rots away somewhere due to their same useless behaviour yet they continue to covertly "tag" both of us as having spiritual attacks or problem.

They've taken my brother to every manner of church, drank all manner of anointing oil, fasted all manner of fasting, prayed all manner of prayers for years and the idiots still believe it's a spiritual attack! I've counseled them uncountable times on the strong importance of seeing a Psychologist/Psychiatrist, but they wave my suggestion away with the wind as per lastborn wey I be, despite being a doctor. But a Prophet is not without honour except in his hometown.

Now they're trying to tag me with the same spiritual diagnosis but me I know sey I don get this issue teytey since when I small and na dem cause am, but they'll rather die than accept.

I just dey struggle to keep up and move on...I know I'll fix up my life successfully one day....

Throw your parents and family members who treat you like trash away,

Forget that family is everything nonsense and that nonsense of you must forgive family.

You come first, self love is most important, anyone that tries to make you feel that you are less than
must be thrown away, even if the person is family


Keep only those who treat you good around you,

themodernman:


My dear, you can decide not to forgive a person by ignoring them and not being bitter about it. You can't tell me you laugh or jist with everyone on earth. There are people you don't enjoy their company for reasons best know to you, does that mean you're bitter with them? Do you wanna tell me you can be friends with everyone? Some may not even wrong you, yet you don't like them. Does that mean you're bitter with them?

That's d logic I'm gonna use....

Exactly, you even got the point of what I was going to advice you about.

Just ignore them and move on with your life. Too many people on this earth abeg, and true. You mustn't speak to everyone.

ImaIma1:
I want my children to be free to speak up...not being timid and shy. I won't shut them down or overreact when they try to tell me something. So that i keep communication open.

I won't make beating a norm. I will give them a chance to defend their actions and tell me why they shouldn't be punished.

I won't act like i know it all. Let them know i can learn from them.

Allow them be what they want to be. Doesn't have to be doctor, lawyer,etc.

Thank you for this.

The part I emboldened is raw gold! I won't forget it. I think it will indirectly teach them the ability to stand for themselves anywhere.

I don't remember much about my upbringing, but I grew up shy and timid. I didn't learn the necessary social skills and it really affected my self-esteem. I'm developing myself now tho, but it's a hard adventure.

Kay512:


Thank you for this.

The part I emboldened is raw gold! I won't forget it. I think it will indirectly teach them the ability to stand for themselves anywhere.

I don't remember much about my upbringing, but I grew up shy and timid. I didn't learn the necessary social skills and it really affected my self-esteem. I'm developing myself now tho, but it's a hard adventure.

It will be a good way to bring them up. I remember my dad flogging my sis and I after we came back by 10pm from a church beach outing.

We were supposed to leave early but the bus driver we took ditched us. The pastor had to rally round to get a bus. It was a tough night. But my dad didn't wait to hear any explanation. After beating us, he asked us why we were late but we refused to answer cos it was of no use.

The next day his brother came and said his daughter(my cousin) was at the same beach and had similar problems and got back by midnight but she explained what happened to him and he didn't beat her. My dad felt so ashamed that he had to try to appease us.

Parents are not always right. We should try to listen before inflicting punishment. It could help build the child's self esteem.

ImaIma1:


It will be a good way to bring them up. I remember my dad flogging my sis and I after we came back by 10pm from a church beach outing.

We were supposed to leave early but the bus driver we took ditched us. The pastor had to rally round to get a bus. It was a tough night. But my dad didn't wait to hear any explanation. After beating us, he asked us why we were late but we refused to answer cos it was of no use.

The next day his brother came and said his daughter(my cousin) was at the same beach and had similar problems and got back by midnight but she explained what happened to him and he didn't beat her. My dad felt so ashamed that he had to try to appease us.

Parents are not always right. We should try to listen before inflicting punishment. It could help build the child's self esteem.

I'm pretty sure he didn't say I'm sorry to you guys. As a parent, I will ensure my kids hear it from me often. Saying sorry no be by age. It reinforces love in the family but our Naija parents are too proud to actually say it.

Earthbound:

I'm pretty sure he didn't say I'm sorry to you guys. As a parent, I will ensure my kids hear it from me often. Saying sorry no be by age. It reinforces love in the family but our Naija parents are too proud to actually say it.

I don't think he did. Fathers find it harder to say sorry when they even find it difficult to say it to their wives.