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When She Hits First - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Shortage Of Men Hits The World / How Would You React If Somebody Hits Your Child For These Reasons? / Wife Beats, Hits Her Husband But The Husband Refuses To Fight Back (2) (3) (4)

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Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 11:07am On Jul 19, 2018
JoannaSedley:
Nobody is saying she is innocent. It is for the court to decide. She sued her husband for beating her.
It is not even about her beating her mother in law. Court have no idea that that even happened except a suit is filled against her in a court and in this case, who is going to file the suit. The husband or the MIL. Will the evidence of her beating her MIL still be admissible in court?
Why not. The man of course wants to file the suit. The poor woman isn't yet released from the hospital. Whatever evidence again do they need
Re: When She Hits First by JoannaSedley(f): 11:08am On Jul 19, 2018
[quote author=Respect55 post=69516760][/quote]You see where you are wrong. We are talking about Omugwo in Igbo land. Omugwo, the Igbo tradition and you are uploading the tradition of other ethnic groups.


I rest my case
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 11:12am On Jul 19, 2018
JoannaSedley:
You see where you are wrong. We are talking about Omugwo in Igbo land. Omugwo, the Igbo tradition and you are uploading the tradition of other ethnic groups.


I rest my case
I can forward the link to u to read up at ur leisure. The focal point here is the Igbo tradition. They just cited instances of other tribes for easy comprehension for those who aren't from lgbo
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 11:12am On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

Why not. The man of course wants to file the suit. The poor woman isn't yet released from the hospital. Whatever evidence again do they need

Good, they should get the medical report from the doctor.

Unfortunately he will also be convicted if found guilty of assaulting his wife when in the first place if he had been patient and reported only the woman will have had a conviction

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Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 11:13am On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

The said man here is ready to sue her too. I have said that earlier


Good. I hope in future he will sue first instead of resorting to violence. Let them all answer for their crimes

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Re: When She Hits First by JoannaSedley(f): 11:13am On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

Why not. The man of course wants to file the suit. The poor woman isn't yet released from the hospital. Whatever evidence again do they need
He wants to, what? He should've filed the suit aeons ago but he thought he can beat it out of his wife as how scores are settled in primitive holes like Nigeria. He is a sissy, a puss.y and unworthy son for his mother.
We should be hearing how he is taking legal action not this he wanted to stories.......
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 11:15am On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

The two cases don't relate. Nobody is dead yet here. Murder no b child's play

Assault is a crime serious one. You get convicted even if you don't go to jail it is on your records you will have to declare to employers and embassies

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Re: When She Hits First by JoannaSedley(f): 11:15am On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

I can forward the link to u to read up at ur leisure. The focal point here is the Igbo tradition. They just cited instances of other tribes for easy comprehension for those who aren't from lgbo
screen shot and post it here
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 11:16am On Jul 19, 2018
Timbuktuo:


I think the reason jungle justice still occurs is basically due to lack of faith in the courts coupled with ignorance on how they operate. Sometimes, I think the populace is deliberately being dumbed down while being inundated with the most inane information, or maybe the media is filled with trash because of the dumb populace

Sadly true. The court processes are slow and annoying and sometimes the populace sees somebody facing trial out on bail and conclude the person is free if all charges

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Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 11:50am On Jul 19, 2018
JoannaSedley:
screen shot and post it here
I should screenshot a file shocked
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 11:51am On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:


Assault is a crime serious one. You get convicted even if you don't go to jail it is on your records you will have to declare to employers and embassies
The weight isn't same aldsame
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 11:55am On Jul 19, 2018
JoannaSedley:
He wants to, what? He should've filed the suit aeons ago but he thought he can beat it out of his wife as how scores are settled in primitive holes like Nigeria. He is a sissy, a puss.y and unworthy son for his mother.
We should be hearing how he is taking legal action not this he wanted to stories.......
Still try not to call names why pressing home your points. In my own opinion, the mother would have been more disappointed if he hadn't done what he did.
To u, the man beat up the wife
U dnt see the other angle where the woman beat up an elderly woman and pushed her out of the house. She couldn't wait for the man she called her husband to return. U don't push a gentle man to the wall and expect him not to bounce back. There I always an extent to what we can endure.
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 11:56am On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:



Good. I hope in future he will sue first instead of resorting to violence. Let them all answer for their crimes
Think more of a woman who just lost her a year plus home.
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 11:58am On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:


Good, they should get the medical report from the doctor.

Unfortunately he will also be convicted if found guilty of assaulting his wife when in the first place if he had been patient and reported only the woman will have had a conviction
Can u stand the site of ur mum been battered and pushed out by ur wife
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 12:07pm On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

Can u stand the site of ur mum been battered and pushed out by ur wife

As painful as it is I will calm down and use my brain instead of my fist.

I will be useless to her if I get convicted and end up in jail or with a conviction on my record.

Secondly I will have tried to avoid a situation where such hostility may occur, one by marrying a sane spouse, two by not putting them in situations where resentment will breed. Having a baby is a lot of work, I won't add mother in law issues to it

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Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 12:08pm On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

Think more of a woman who just lost her a year plus home.


She can make another home, she can rent her own house, it is not so difficult to move on anymore. A conviction however has legal implications

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Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 12:12pm On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

The weight isn't same aldsame


Still a conviction and who says either the mother or wife could not have died from the beating, that is why violence should be avoided.

If the mother had health issues and died from one slap or the wife who just gave birth had health complications and died?


This is why violence and counter violence should not be encouraged sometimes it takes one blow to death

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Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 12:22pm On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:


As painful as it is I will calm down and use my brain instead of my fist.

I will be useless to her if I get convicted and end up in jail or with a conviction on my record.

Secondly I will have tried to avoid a situation where such hostility may occur, one by marrying a sane spouse, two by not putting them in situations where resentment will breed. Having a baby is a lot of work, I won't add mother in law issues to it
So ur mum coming over for Omugwo is creating an atmosphere for trouble?
Like they always say, u never can tell till it happens to u
People have bn doing that without issues.
M
On another note, dnt ever feel u have known all about a lady
Re: When She Hits First by JoannaSedley(f): 12:26pm On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

I should screenshot a file shocked
Respect55:

Still try not to call names why pressing home your points. In my own opinion, the mother would have been more disappointed if he hadn't done what he did.
To u, the man beat up the wife
U dnt see the other angle where the woman beat up an elderly woman and pushed her out of the house. She couldn't wait for the man she called her husband to return. U don't push a gentle man to the wall and expect him not to bounce back. There I always an extent to what we can endure.
Please stop putting words in my mouth. Both of them are animals and were wrong but the husband will be served hot for not being proactive. He thought the wife will let her beating slide as he let his mother's beating to slide.
Coming to nairaland won't save anything

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Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 12:26pm On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:



Still a conviction and who says either the mother or wife could not have died from the beating, that is why violence should be avoided.

If the mother had health issues and died from one slap or the wife who just gave birth had health complications and died?
I understand all that. But what do u think could make a wife lay her hands on her mother in-law knowing fully that the husband will be back in the evening for her to report whatever the matter was.


This is why violence and counter violence should not be encouraged sometimes it takes one blow to death
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 12:28pm On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:



She can make another home, she can rent her own house, it is not so difficult to move on anymore. A conviction however has legal implications
Move on as how? As a single mum or getting married again? Can u marry a lady who lost her home for beating up her mother in law
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 12:30pm On Jul 19, 2018
JoannaSedley:
Please stop putting words in my mouth. Both of them are animals and were wrong but the husband will be served hot for not being proactive. He thought the wife will let her beating slide as he let his mother's beating to slide.
Coming to nairaland won't save anything
We husband will get it hot and the woman will have a safe landing? We are watching. Thank God I'm not traveling anytime soon. I will keep in touch
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 12:35pm On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

Move on as how? As a single mum or getting married again? Can u marry a lady who lost her home for beating up her mother in law


Respect55:

So ur mum coming over for Omugwo is creating an atmosphere for trouble?
Like they always say, u never can tell till it happens to u
People have bn doing that without issues.
M
On another note, dnt ever feel u have known all about a lady


1. Moving on doesn't mean remarriage, if she is working she can get her own place and live her life with her child or shared custody, she won't die. Also many single parents have and are still remarrying even men who beat their wives and got away with it have remarried, even wives who cheated on their husbands remarry. People are not living in 1865 anymore.

2. Yes, sometimes it can be creating a hostile atmosphere, if my wife and my mother do not normally get along, if my wife needs the kind of help my mother may not be able to provide or if my mother instead of aiding my wife is creating more work for her in that state.
Maybe if women started bringing their own father's to stay in their husbands houses regardless of how the husband feels you may start to understand why sometimes friction happens.

I belong to this century, I have kids grown up and I respect myself and give them space. If they get married I am a busy person, I have raised them well, let them enjoy their time and space without my influence. These generational issues need to change

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Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 12:48pm On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:






1. Moving on doesn't mean remarriage, if she is working she can get her own place and live her life with her child or shared custody, she won't die. Also many single parents have and are still remarrying even men who beat their wives and got away with it have remarried, even wives who cheated on their husbands remarry. People are not living in 1865 anymore.

2. Yes, sometimes it can be creating a hostile atmosphere, if my wife and my mother do not normally get along, if my wife needs the kind of help my mother may not be able to provide or if my mother instead of aiding my wife is creating more work for her in that state.
Maybe if women started bringing their own father's to stay in their husbands houses regardless of how the husband feels you may start to understand why sometimes friction happens.

I belong to this century, I have kids grown up and I respect myself and give them space. If they get married I am a busy person, I have raised them well, let them enjoy their time and space without my influence. These generational issues need to change
In most cases, women feel more happier whenever any member of her family comes along than when the husband's people do.
Come to think of it, if the wife feels the woman is adding to her problems, why can't she table it before her husband so that they iron things out than beating her up. It is even as insult to the man of the house.
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 12:53pm On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:






1. Moving on doesn't mean remarriage, if she is working she can get her own place and live her life with her child or shared custody, she won't die. Also many single parents have and are still remarrying even men who beat their wives and got away with it have remarried, even wives who cheated on their husbands remarry. People are not living in 1865 anymore.

2. Yes, sometimes it can be creating a hostile atmosphere, if my wife and my mother do not normally get along, if my wife needs the kind of help my mother may not be able to provide or if my mother instead of aiding my wife is creating more work for her in that state.
Maybe if women started bringing their own father's to stay in their husbands houses regardless of how the husband feels you may start to understand why sometimes friction happens.

I belong to this century, I have kids grown up and I respect myself and give them space. If they get married I am a busy person, I have raised them well, let them enjoy their time and space without my influence. These generational issues need to change
While we were living at Iwofe, there was this couple who the husband's younger sis was living with. The woman couldn't talbot and the uncle to the girl came and took her aware because both parents were dead. After some times the wife's ELDER sis moved in and refused to go. No problem arose till we moved out of the place. U will not understand these things
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 1:09pm On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

While we were living at Iwofe, there was this couple who the husband's younger sis was living with. The woman couldn't talbot and the uncle to the girl came and took her aware because both parents were dead. After some times the wife's ELDER dis moved in and refused to go. No problem arose till we moved out of the place. U will not understand these things

A couple should discuss and reach a compromise on these issues:

1. Do we want relatives staying?

2. How long should relatives stay?

3. How should in laws request come?

4. How do we handle in laws conflicts ( if your mother , sister or father offends me how do we handle it?)

Unfortunately the situation for years has been that men who believe it is their house do not consult with their wives before bringing relatives over even when they consult they don't accept any objections from the wife and declare her a bad woman if she says she is not comfortable with in laws over.

Sadly the women then become passive aggressive with the in laws.

I find that discussing and agreeing on these issues saves a lot of heart ache and drama

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Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 1:13pm On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

In most cases, women feel more happier whenever any member of her family comes along than when the husband's people do.
Come to think of it, if the wife feels the woman is adding to her problems, why can't she table it before her husband so that they iron things out than beating her up. It is even as insult to the man of the house.

I honestly agree, however these things should be discussed and agreed before marriage, unfortunately most men feel it is their homes and so they need not discuss visiting relatives with their wives, and most women pretend to be nice and accomodating before marriage.

People should be honest and have these hard discussions first.

Women are more happy with their relatives staying over because while the man doesn't need to spend more time or to change his schedule to accomodate a visiting relative a woman has too. A man who goes to work at 6 am will still do so if his mother in law visits,but a woman needs to stay, prepare breakfast, say good morning, attend to the needs, come home to make more food and clear dishes etc. But with their own relatives they can say " sister make your own breakfast I am going to work" with an in law saying that will be deemed disrespectful

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Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 1:18pm On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:


A couple should discuss and reach a compromise on these issues:

1. Do we want relatives staying?

2. How long should relatives stay?

3. How should in laws request come?

4. How do we handle in laws conflicts ( if your mother , sister or father offends me how do we handle it?)

Unfortunately the situation for years has been that men who believe it is their house do not consult with their wives before bringing relatives over even when they consult they don't accept any objections from the wife and declare her a bad woman if she says she is not comfortable with in laws over.

Sadly the women then become passive aggressive with the in laws.

I find that discussing and agreeing on these issues saves a lot of heart ache and drama
U don't attribute to men alone. Both parties do it. My elder bros told me that his wife called him one day near work closing hours that he should drive down to eleme junction and pick her sis who is coming and he replied her to tell the sister to go back to where she is coming from that they didn't discuss her coming. U see
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 1:21pm On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

U don't attribute to men alone. Both parties do it. My elder bros told me that his wife called him one day near work closing hours that he should drive down to eleme junction and pick her sis who is coming and he replied her to tell the sister to go back to where she is coming from that they didn't discuss her coming. U see


It is wrong for both sides to do it hence my suggestion that these things be discussed and agreed.

However for your Elder Brother he can say let her sister return to where she came from but a woman is expected to accept the visitor like that and change her schedule to keep the in law happy, if she says she should return from where she came from world war will happen

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Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 1:29pm On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:



It is wrong for both sides to do it hence my suggestion that these things be discussed and agreed.

However for your Elder Brother he can say let her sister return to where she came from but a woman is expected to accept the visitor like that and change her schedule to keep the in law happy, if she says she should return from where she came from world war will happen
U dnt undstnd me. My brother asked the wife to tell that her sis who is on the way to go back to the village dat she didn't discuss her sister coming over with him
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 1:31pm On Jul 19, 2018
Eketem:


I honestly agree, however these things should be discussed and agreed before marriage, unfortunately most men feel it is their homes and so they need not discuss visiting relatives with their wives, and most women pretend to be nice and accomodating before marriage.

People should be honest and have these hard discussions first.

Women are more happy with their relatives staying over because while the man doesn't need to spend more time or to change his schedule to accomodate a visiting relative a woman has too. A man who goes to work at 6 am will still do so if his mother in law visits,but a woman needs to stay, prepare breakfast, say good morning, attend to the needs, come home to make more food and clear dishes etc. But with their own relatives they can say " sister make your own breakfast I am going to work" with an in law saying that will be deemed disrespectful
What is bad is bad. Both families should always be welcomed with same hands. Moreover, there is a kind of atmosphere a wife will crate and she won't even bother herself with cooking most of the time
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 2:09pm On Jul 19, 2018
Respect55:

What is bad is bad. Both families should always be welcomed with same hands. Moreover, there is a kind of atmosphere a wife will crate and she won't even bother herself with cooking most of the time

Not realistic Sir. Let spouses discuss these things and respect each other. Too much is demanded of women

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