So I've been having sprinklings of suicidal thoughts for a while now...

They are becoming more intense as the days go by...

Just watching my life. . slip away before me..
Trying to savour the final moments in this earth I once treasured..

I've always been a strong person...burly physique.. Thrust into life quite early ... And seemingly handled it quite well... Until now...

If I speak out.. No one is ever gonna believe me.. Or they'd just make a joke about it like they've always done...
Nah! I ain't speaking .. Let's catch everyone by surprise right?
Actually my story will bore you.. No need going down memory lane... It hurts.
I've never had this thoughts in my life... Well here I am! Helpless!

Don't know how much I have to have this thoughts before they completely swallow me...

Yo! I'm weak! I admit.. I've been strong for so long believe me! Believe I have a good heart! But the world ain't gon treat you differently cos of DAT!!!!!
NL FAM, I really can't say this to the world.. I feel a little safe expressing myself here.. I feel a little better!

Don't give up.. your miracle is just by the corner.. Don't lose faith. Keep your head up!

never give up... Trace your steps back to the Lord your God... You have put your trust in people for way to long it's high time you turned to the Lord. Go on with your day to day activities and keep your trust and faith in the Lord... he is your strength... ignore people making you feel worthless, treat em the same way they do to you chai it pain dem die say Omo this one don wise oo

My dear, suicide is a big NO for whatever reason you may have or whatever you are going through. Killing oneself is a great offence.
There are some set of people who are willing to listen to you and help you - seek professional help please.
Above all, remember that Jesus loves you. Go to Him in prayers and pour your heart to him. It is well.

This too will pass... It's is well

If u Haven't been through depression u won't actually understand wat OP is talking about

Two of the things I'm doing now that I wasn't doing before, that are making a difference in how happy I am these days: counselling/therapy, and exercising. With the former, I only ask myself why I didn't start sooner, considering it's free. With the latter, since gyming more these days, I'm becoming less of a worry-wart, which is no surprise since exercise releases endorphins that makes you happier. Give these a try. The strongest people are those who have been through a lot but are still standing; I should know. Keep your head up.

Quiescere:
Two of the things I'm doing now that I wasn't doing before, that are making a difference in how happy I am these days: counselling/therapy, and exercising. With the former, I only ask myself why I didn't start sooner, considering it's free. With the latter, since gyming more these days, I'm becoming less of a worry-wart, which is no surprise since exercise releases endorphins that makes you happier. Give these a try. The strongest people are those who have been through a lot but are still standing; I should know. Keep your head up.

Where and how can someone get this counselling/therapist, am also battling a serious depression right now which I think it's about to consume me.

It depends on your location.

HaileSelassie:

So I've been having sprinklings of suicidal thoughts for a while now...

They are becoming more intense as the days go by...

Just watching my life. . slip away before me..
Trying to savour the final moments in this earth I once treasured..

I've always been a strong person...burly physique.. Thrust into life quite early ... And seemingly handled it quite well... Until now...

If I speak out.. No one is ever gonna believe me.. Or they'd just make a joke about it like they've always done...
Nah! I ain't speaking .. Let's catch everyone by surprise right?
Actually my story will bore you.. No need going down memory lane... It hurts.
I've never had this thoughts in my life... Well here I am! Helpless!

Don't know how much I have to have this thoughts before they completely swallow me...

Yo! I'm weak! I admit.. I've been strong for so long believe me! Believe I have a good heart! But the world ain't gon treat you differently cos of DAT!!!!!
NL FAM, I really can't say this to the world.. I feel a little safe expressing myself here.. I feel a little better!

Please let that thought stop in your mouth,what is actually the problem,is it money,health challenges,spirit battle,broken relationship,please whatsap me let us discuss,08038220168

chinochizzy:
If u Haven't been through depression u won't actually understand wat OP is talking about

you're right bro. Am always depressed and thinking. It's not easy