IF GIRLS WERE TO BE GSM COMPANIES.
APPLE: They are most of the time rich ladies who stay in the highbrow areas. They are rich not because they have a ‘mighty god’ but they have worked hard for their money. They are soft hearted and very protective of people they love but outside their circles they are seen as hard and ‘bitchy’. They are often very intelligent but have the emotional intelligence of a wall gecko. The not so rich ones usually have very high self-esteem; what they don’t have in money they have in self-esteem.

SAMSUNG: ‘Queen slay-queens’ as I like to call to them. Their self-esteem is attached to their make-up kits. They are often heavily made up even though they don’t need it as they are often very pretty and shapely. They are your life-of-the-party girls they always know where the fun is each time. If you happen see the one that would commit to you she will be a keeper but most times they like rocking their singleness to the core.

SONY: They are usually averagely pretty to ‘mildly’ ugly. They are usually owners of heavy duty boobs or ass. They dress well without the intention of looking flashy with moderate make up and don’t expose too much skin. They don’t talk to guys most times because they think most guys are after their ‘assets’ but when they finally date you they are very loyal but if you break their heart, they are fine with it you have only taught them a lesson they will take out on the next guy.

LG: These are your regular every day girls- they are neither here nor there. They gave birth to them, they went to school, graduated, had a boyfriend and got married. They are usually daddy’s girls and are not too ambitious about life. They live quietly successful lives till they die.

HTC: These are really unique ladies. They are usually attracted to men with problems. If you want to know if they are in a relationship look at their dress sense. When they are in a relationship they will look nice but if they are not they dress shabbily. They always think their goal in life is to ‘provide help’ (pun intended).

NOKIA: This is the young lady you think would not be anything back in secondary school but now has the right curves in the right places. She is now a grown up woman with good personality; fun yet calm. They are mostly nerds that have learnt to enjoy life.

BLACKBERRY: These ones have psychological issues, they know they are not okay so they are guarded. It’s this type of lady that you will toast and will not give you answer for the next 2 years saying I am working on myself meanwhile she is using ‘ose dudu’ (black Soap) and local sponge to take her bath at one river every seven days. If she is posh she will be seeing psychologist upandan but most of them get really loyal boyfriends that take them for who they are.

INFINIX: They are the result of separated parents. Most of them suffer from fear of attachment, they feel when they date another person they will get disappointed when they eventually date they will do anything possible to make that relationship work even if it’s doing butterfly style for the boyfriend or even washing his grandma’s panties but unfortunately its high blood pressure that kills them at the end of the day.

XIAOMI: The issue with this type of lady is she can copy for Africa! I am drawn to believe copying is part of her destiny because the more she copy’s the better she gets at life. She has almost every edition of any fashion magazine you can think of. Her soft spot is clothes, designer clothes. If you date this girl she can be anything for you, your friends would like her and your family would like her too but have a fight and she will tell even your ancestors what you did.

TECNO: These are the real wife materials, they will wash your clothes, clean your house and do other room duties once you say you will marry them. They are the typical girls that wear marriage on their sleeves. Their number one hobby is jumping to conclusion you need to be very careful with that kind of people small time you are just a nice friend before you know you have ‘turn’ husband without your consent. You mostly find them on wechat and 2go with statuses like men are dogs or fuckboys are plenty here please be careful.

ITEL: This type of ladies are usually found on 2go. Their display picture is always a selfie in a provision shop or a hair salon. They are street smart but intellectually deficient, holding a reasonable conversation with them is just like sending an email without internet. They are not the marriage types they just want to get pregnant and go stay in a man’s house. Ask them to call a GSM number and you will hear siho-sehun-siho.

PS: this is an opinion of a twisted mobile phone geek.

@mynd44
@lalasticlala

lol

Lol!
I have seen ladies and the characteristics they possess and I agree with the writer.
However, the moment of Truth is Here