#State of The Nation - Satire : Tinibu Vs Saraki : as Asiwaju insists on becoming president in 2023

Ogbeni : Asiwaju , did you read Saraki reply to your attack ?

Asiwaju : Yes . But I didn't know he will toe that line . He went so deep to let the world know about my 2023 Presidential plot and other past actions.

Ogbeni : But you remember I had suggested to you not to attack Saraki because he has capacity to fight back and also , he is armed with lots of information .

Asiwaju : Yes , you said so .But like I told you , my strategy was to attack some selected Politicians from North that decamped to PDP so that Buhari will trust me so much ahead of 2019 so that I will be able to place our 2023 agenda structure across the country .

Ogbeni : I understand , but that is already backfiring with Saraki Reply .

Asiwaju : Yea , but we must find a way to scheme this out . I will sustain messing that Saraki of a man up politically . I will fund Liar Mohamed led opposition in Kwara against him .

Ogbeni : I doubt if Liar Muhammad can do him anything in Kwara . Liar lack capacity .

Asiwaju : Don't worry , I will convince Mr President to supply Liar Muhammad everything he will need in Kwara against Saraki .

Ogbeni : If you ask me , I will suggest that you let Saraki be . Let's concentrate on dividing the North and hijacking the APC structure towards handing you over the 2023 APC Presidential ticket .

Asiwaju : Fighting Saraki is part of my positioning for 2023 APC Presidential ticket strategy . I am Asiwaju of Africa ! Don't worry , let me call Saraki to make him believe that there is no issue between us again .

Ogbeni : OK .

(Phono rings ....)

Asiwaju : Hello . The Senate President of the Federal Republic ! I salute you His Excellency !

Saraki : Good evening Asiwaju . This one you called me after you again tried to run me down on media ?

Asiwaju : Haba the great Son of Oloye ! Is not what you think my brother . You should know that we are together on issue of saving our country and her democracy .

Saraki : Asiwaju , I have to let you know that am so disappointed with you . A Leader in your shoe , should chose his words very well especially while facing the public .

Asiwaju : Come , Saraki or whatever you call yourself , you should mind how you address me !

Saraki : I have not insulted you sir . But I will not submit to your selfish agenda that can mess our country up no matter what ! Never !!!

Asiwaju : What are you talking about ? Am asking you !? I have been a senator and also a Governor in this country ! I made Governors and also legislators too .

Saraki : Thank God that some of us has been Governor and also Senator too and you did not made my likes . But this is not the issue . The issue is that we stop your agenda of becoming Vice President to Buhari in 2015 . We did that for our country and her democracy !

Asiwaju : How was such action for the Nation 's interest ? Is there anywhere in our country's constitution where it is written that we can't have Muslim - Muslim or Christian - Christian Presidential tickets ?

Or even South - South or North - North ticket ?

Why all these ?

Saraki : You see , your personal agenda is driving you to a point that you can even crash the entire Country's democracy . It is against our Political Culture as a country for Muslim - Muslim / Christian- Christian Presidential tickets or even North - North /South - South ticket .

Asiwaju : Forget that . You people were just envious of my likes .

Saraki : envious for what ? In fact , let me help you with some historical events :
The last notable Christian-Christian ticket was Awolowo-Umeadi in 1979 and the last notable Muslim-Muslim ticket was Abiola-Kingibe in 1993.

Did they end up becoming presidents ? No ! It is even of note that Awolowo went further beyond Christian - Christian ticket and adopted Southern - Southern ticket and yet , it did not work .

Asiwaju : And you think that Muslim - Muslim ticket will not work with me ?

Saraki : Every country has its own political realities . National Politics is different from regional politics and you have to understand this very well Asiwaju .

Asiwaju : Watch and see , I am already rounding up the North with my strategy . Buhari core supporters are already with me . Join me on this mission and I will make you retain your Senate Presidency . Yes , decamp back to APC and be part of my plans , let's systematically push Buharists out of this party and take over the country .I brought Adams single handedly to head the party inline with my 2023 agenda and he is with me on this . Or you can remain in PDP and be my mole there while we scheme .

Saraki : I have tried working with you before , but all what you want is about your personal interests even when it is against our country 's interests .
I disagreed with my father to make sure that we balance politics in Kwara State so that it will not be just about the Sarakis and he later appreciate what I did .
So , don't expect me to buy into your plans that is against the unity and growth of this country .

Asiwaju : Then , be ready to face me . Most of what you are going through today politically is coming from me ! I instigate most of your current political battles and be ready for more if you disagree with me .

Saraki : Then be ready to continue to lose more battles like you have been losing against me . You instigated to stop me from becoming the Senate President and I won you !

You you tried to mess me up from Code of Conduct Tribunal and you failed .

You instigated thugs on the Senate and it could not stop Saraki .

You planned impeachment , it did not stop Saraki .

You used Sahara , yet it failed .

You plotted Dss on the Senate , yet it failed .

You are plotting again and you are going to fail again !

Asiwaju : But I am not behind all these you are mentioning .

Saraki : But you just stated that you are behind most of my political battles . Don't worry , I don't talk too much .

Asiwaju : Oloye we can work together ooo !

Saraki : Please , our interests differs . You are too selfish and greed . Your interests can even crash our Nation's democracy . Count me out !

Asiwaju : OK . Let's see how it goes .

Saraki : How can you be plotting to become President in 2023 after others sacrificed for power to be shifted to South West for 8 years ?

When Power returns to Southern part of Nigeria , it will go to South East first since the two other Southern sub regions has taken power ( Jonathan and Obasanjo ) in this 4th Republic .

Asiwaju : Watch how I will divide the entire South South and South East and even North towards my interests .

Saraki : You can even divide water and land , yet it won't work ! Take this to the bank .
Meanwhile , I think we have talk at length Asiwaju , let me attend to my visitors .Thanks .

( And he dropped the call ) .

Note : This is Satire from Onyia's fiction notes .

Ikechukwu Emeka Onyia©2018
Abuja , Nigeria

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Let's pray for tinumbu..

Nice and hilarious

In conclusion, Tinubu is desperate.