BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 1 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

THE FITRAH

DESCRIPTION

The chapter is about emphasizing why the Human creature is created on the platform and foundation of having SOMEONE SPECIAL - A spouse.


THE FOUNDATION OF ALL HUMAN RELATION, HAVING A SPOUSE....

The first of all relationships to exist between human being is the spousal relationship. The parable of how the relationship come to exist demands in-depth attention.

It is a vital relationship without which a human being will feel incomplete.

It is the only relationship so vital that a human will mourn it absence even before it start to exist.

The queen and king of all relationships that exist between mankind is the relationship between spouses.

It is configured in the being of humans to feel the need to have a personal companion, who belong to them and whom they belong to as a fundamental need to live in life.

THE PARABLES FROM ALLAH

Almighty ALLAH do communicate with us with the MOST effective methodology and techniques which no human can match.

Stories which the majestic fashioner of all that exist narrated to us in the glorious Qur'an are not ordinary stories rather they contain MESSAGES of immeasurable depth.

Let us pay attention, Almighty ALLAH told us repeatedly in the glorious Qur'an about how Shaytan made the first of humans sin.

The message we must take from that repetitive story is that: Almighty ALLAH wanted us to be very mindful of the plots and tricks of Shaytan.

Similarly, Almighty ALLAH sent us a parable by making the first of all relationship to exist between humans the spousal relationship. Through the parable we come to learn and understand that the most important relationship of all relationships that are existing between humans is the spousal relationship.

The relationship between spouses is the first of all relationships.

It is a basic need for most humans.

Without it, most people will mourn even when they are not bereaved. And that is because Almighty ALLAH stated very clearly that we are created in pairs. [Qur'an 78, Surah An-naba]

Indeed they are mourning a part of them that is yet to be with them and live with them.

This relationship is vital to life, hence it is the only relationship which ALLAH permitted to be reestablished if it ends.

Almighty ALLAH reveals:
O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife (Hawwa (Eve)),
[an-Nisa 4:1]

Apart from the first of spouses who were created from each other and their immediate progeny who replicated each other all other existing humans have been given the liberty to choose their spouse.

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https://hamidahbintabbas.com/what-about-polygyny-part-one/

To end the debate on a topic as volatile as Polygyny, we need time and patience. It's not a day's job. If you are still here. I appreciate your audience, JazakumuLLAHU khayran. We are going through Part 1 of this book series, which 101 pages In Sha ALLAH, the debate will end when we get to Part Two. Glad tidings in advance to anyone who is willing to learn Polygyny together with me
It will be worth it

Before building a house we need to draw the plan.

Before we end the debate on Polygyny we need to understand the basis.

Have a nice time with me on this journey to end the debate on Polygyny.

BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 2 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

Intriguing is the reality that humans do not have the power to choose who will be their father nor mother nor children nor sibling. The only family a human can choose is a spouse.

When parents are lost they can never be replaced, when children are lost they can never be replaced. But almighty ALLAH willed such that if a spouse is lost they can be replaced.

Why are humans permitted to choose a mate for themselves. Why are they not given a fixed mate. That is because spousal relationship effect and affect a human like no other relationship could. It is a relationship wherein if a person is locked into misery due to it or as a result of the spouse they choose their misery can break their whole spirit and make them extremely traumatized. Hence in the perfect wisdom of ALLAH who created and fashioned the way of life (Al-Islam) for humans, humans have been permitted to choose their own spouse. A spouse is a basic necessity in life for so many people such that they can't feel fully alive without a spouse, they will grieve and mourn and long for the companionship of a mate of their own kind in life. Hence in the unparalleled mercy of ALLAH, HE granted humans the freedom to get another spouse if their spouse is lost, either through divorce or death.

A relationship without which most humans won't feel alive even while they aren't dead = Spousal relationship.

The king and the queen of all human relationships = Spousal relationship.

A relationship people miss even while it hasn't started to exist = Spousal relationship.

The relationship that ALLAH established in His majesty in the most symbolic way = Spousal relationship.

ALLAH has created men and women as company for one another, and so that they can procreate and live in peace and tranquility.
[Prof. 'Abdur Rahman I. Doi]

Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
There is no love between any two souls greater than that that exists between the spouses.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/525

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BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 3 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

BUT WHY A SPOUSE?

Why do humans yearn to have a spouse? Why do people long to gain a companion? Why is it that naturally without being commanded nor taught to have a companion almost everyone naturally find themselves desiring a companion.

The answer lies in the glorious Qur'an where almighty ALLAH reveals:

"And from amongst His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, so that you may dwell in tranquility with them?" [ar-Room 30:21]

In another verse almighty ALLAH reveals:

“It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her in love.”
[Al-A`raf 7:189]

THE PURPOSE OF SPOUSAL RELATIONSHIP

A relationship so vital for the survival and functionality of human soul that it is replaceable if it should end. If a human loose either of the parents, siblings or children, they are fixed and permanently irreplaceable. It is not a coincidence that ALLAH has made it such that humankind are permitted to get another spouse following divorce or death of a spouse. He made it clear that He created us in Pair (Qur'an 78). The duality of gender is not for play. It is meant to serve a purpose.

The purpose is a mamount one. It is huge. Spousal relationship exists so that humans may gain love and tranquility.

That is not to say love and tranquility doesn't exist through other means but definitely the primary purpose of spousal relationship is to establish love between partners and as a result instill tranquility between them.

Ar-Razi stated in Mafatih al-Ghayb that: “The primary reason according to the verse for creating mates from among yourselves is so that spouses may be drawn to each other and find tranquility together.”

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BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 4 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

NATURE OF POLYGYNY

In the early days of Islam, when the oppression of Muslims by the unbelievers was at it apex, almighty ALLAH granted guidance to some people and part of those people are Ramlah, Umu Habeebah bint Abu Sufyan and her husband, UbaiduLLAH bin Jahsh Al-Asadi.

Their belief in ALLAH amidst the oppression testify to the firmness of the faith that is rooted in their hearts. Being the daughter of one of the leaders of the unbelievers (Abu Sufyan) doesn't stop Umm Habeebah from embracing Islam. In order to escape from the terror of the unbelievers, Umu Habeebah and her husband yielded to the call of ALLAH by migrating from Makkah to Abyssinia.

As a further test for Umm Habeebah, her husband came to her one day and told her that he will go back to Christianity because that was his religion before. In response to this shock, Umu Habeebah displayed a level of faith of unparalleled intensity when she stood firm in Islam and separated from her husband.

One cannot help but marvel at the faith of Umu Habeebah. Her husband left Islam, her father was a leading enemy of Islam yet she stood firm in the religion of ALLAH. She literally have no source of support, her husband apostated and left her alone with her faith while she was in a foreign land (Abyssinia).

Indeed Umm Habeebah is a great example of a firm believer. May ALLAH be pleased with her.

In the midst of all these, the messenger of ALLAH (SallaLLAHU alayhi wasalam) proposed marriage to her. She was overjoyed that she gave the Negus slave who brought the news to her, two silver bracelet. She was married to the prophet by Khalid bin Sa'eed (RadhiaLLAHU anhu).

She accepted the proposal wholeheartedly while knowing that the marriage she is getting into is a polygynous marriage. She is well aware that polygynous marriage have it peculiar nature. The evidence that she is aware of the peculiar nature of polygynous marriage is in the statements she made to her co-wives at the time of her death.

At the time of her death, Umm Habeebah called and apologized to Aisha and Umm Salaamah, saying: “There has been some frictions between us the likes of which are common between co-wives, so kindly forgive me.”

Aishah (radhiAllahu anha) Said: Umm Habeebah called me when she was about to die and said,
There has been some frictions between us the likes of which are common between co-wives, so kindly forgive me.
So I forgave her and asked Allah to forgive her. She then said,
You have made me happy.
And she sent the same message to Umm Salamah.
[Siyar a'lam an-Nubula]

Despite the soundness of her faith Umm Habeebah was not able to be free from offending her co-wives. She did offend them and they did offend her. But it is from the nobility of their character that they sought each other's forgiveness and they actually grant forgiveness to each other.

From Umm Habeebah's statement, it could be derived that there is a peculiar friction that do occur between co-wives. Despite being from the best of women, even the wives of the messenger of ALLAH (SallaLLAHU alayhi wasalam) weren't safe from harming each other due to the particular difficulty that sharing a spouse brought them. What is the reason behind the rivalry that characterizes being co-wives? Why are the noblest of womankind not free from harming each other due to the difficulty of polygyny? Why is polygyny difficult? Why is it hurtful? Why do women of great prestige end up acting out of their nature due to difficulty of polygyny?

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BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 5 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

Why do co-wives seem to be natural unhealthy competitors?

Why does their competition involve hatred, spite, scheming, plotting and harm for each other.

Children compete for the attention of their parents. But naturally children aren't unhealthy competitors.

Humans generally are competitors. It is normal for co-wives to be competitors but why does their competition involve a very potent negative energy?

Why do co-wives end up in the cobweb of elaborate scheming against each other?

Why do co-wives seem to be natural enemies?

Why is it a reality that no matter the depth of piousness of a woman, no matter her firmness of faith, no matter her good naturedness, there will always be some not so good things she will do to her co-wives. Things that she will not have done if she is not in a polygynous marriage. There will be some level of strain on her due to the difficulty of polygyny, and there will be some attitudes that she will not be proud of that she will show due to polygyny.

Indeed Umm Habeebah is a great example of a firm believer. May ALLAH be pleased with her. Being such a firm believer, one could have easily assumed that polygyny won't give her any problem. But it ended up being that despite her doggedness polygyny made her offend her co-wives so much so that towards the end of her life the people she feared she has wronged mostly were her co-wives. From the nobility of her character and her pristine fear of ALLAH she sought their forgiveness before passing away. She even expressed happiness when she was granted forgiveness by them. They also displayed great nobility when they also sought her forgiveness and she returned the favour. The greatest highlight from the event is the confession of Umm Habeebah that she is happy after being granted forgiveness by her co-wives. How burdened her heart must have been from the sins she has committed against them that their forgiveness brought her so much happiness. May ALLAH be pleased with all of them.

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BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 6 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

What is peculiar about polygyny that made the likes of women who are as courteous of ALLAH as the mothers of the believers harm each other?

The sins accrued by the mother of the believers (Umm Habeebah) through polygyny burdened her heart so much so that she is primarily concerned about them on her death bed. What could have been so difficult about polygyny that the foremost of those who strive to please ALLAH weren't able to be free of sins due to polygyny. What is so difficult about this polygyny that women of great nobility are not free from committing excesses due to it. These are women who are courteous of ALLAH.

Umm Habeebah is a diligent servant of ALLAH. Putting this into cognizance, it is certain that she must have put in alot of efforts to ensure that she doesn't hurt her co-wives but that is simply not obtainable, she did hurt them despite not wanting to, hence she sought for their forgiveness, that is an attestation of her sincerity. May ALLAH be pleased with her.

These are women who would have guard and cautioned themselves from allowing the difficulty of polygyny to overcome them. Yet at the end of the day this difficulty overcame them majorally. What is the science of the difficulty of polygyny. What is the secret behind its potency. And most especially why is it said to be natural?

“A woman's jealousy concerning her husband is something that is innate and natural.”
[From the fatwas of Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen for al-Daw'ah magazine]

The Mothers of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with them) who were the best women of this ummah, had some problems because of jealousy, but the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forgave them and did not hold it against them.
[https://islamqa.info/en/99264]

There is two points to note.
Polygyny is DIFFICULT.
The difficulty of polygyny is NATURAL.

Why is polygyny difficult?
Why is it's difficulty natural?

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BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 7 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

In reply to the queries, let it be known that the fitrah (original nature) of humankind remain upon having one spouse to self hence the difficulty in polygyny (because polygyny means one spouse would have to be shared.)

“And We have created you in pairs”
[Surah an-Naba 78:8]

That is the Fitrah of mankind. Starting from Adam and Hawa.

“I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet(SAW) as much as I did of Khadijah because the Prophet(SAW) used to (remember and) mention her very often.”
[Al-Bukhari, Sahih, vol. 5 (Arabic with English) p. 104.]

The above proves one thing and that is: A spouse want to be the priority in the life of their spouses. They want to be the number one most beloved and most important person in the heart of their spouse.

Even though Khadijah (R) was no more. What actually bothered Aisha (R) is that Khadijah (R) is more important in the heart of the messenger of ALLAH (SallaLLAHU alayhi wasalam) than she is.

That explains why some people don't want to marry previously married people. For example: Oxygen and Chlorine divorced. Sodium wanted to marry Chlorine. Sodium later cancelled plans to marry Chlorine because he feared that he will always be the second best to Oxygen in the heart of Chlorine.

Generally, people want to be the number one in the heart of their spouse. They don't want any one or factor competing for that spot.

They want to be assured that they are supremely important to their spouse with no fear of competition.

And this want, this need, is in-built and natural to humans.

Naturally, a spouse wanted to be treated as a PRIORITY by their spouse, they don't want ANY factor coming to threaten their place as the PRIORITY in the life of their spouse.

Polygyny completely negates that, it doesn't only threaten the position of a spouse as the priority, it affirms their position as a 'co-prioriy'.

And that status, on the average, is naturally resisted with or without realizing it.

Hence cowives fight for that supremacy to be “the one” in his life. It is a natural HUMAN inclination.

Women do compete in polygyny because they want to be the most original spouse of their spouse.

There is something inbuilt in humans that makes them resist any form of "threat" that seem to be competing with their place as the priority in the life of their spouse.

For example, a spouse can't stand the fact that his/her partner prefers the company of their pet.

The natural inclination of needing to be the MOST important in the heart of one's spouse is what makes Aisha (radhiaLLAHU anha) jealous of Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (radhiaLLAHU anha) even though she never met Khadijah as a co-wife.

It is inherently configured in humans to want to be the PRIORITY in the life of their spouse.

As a parent, one will be one of the parents,
As a child, one will be one of the children,
As a sibling, one will be one of the siblings.

In human relationship, the ONLY relationship that stands out with the capability of giving a human the opportunity to be the PRIORITY in another human's life is SPOUSAL relationship.

And that, polygyny takes away.

Hence the pattern in most polygynous marriages is an endless back and forth between the wives contesting for the position of the number one priority in his life. It is a 'package' that comes with polygyny as an institution.

ALLAH permitted Polygyny. He is more aware of this in-built characteristics of what He has permitted in His perfect wisdom and He is the the all-knowing.

Some Muslim men convert to Christianity after marrying Christian women. Some Muslim men convert to Judaism after marrying Jewish women. Yet marriage to Christian and Jewish women is permitted by ALLAH in His unquestionable majesty, wisdom and knowledge. He is more aware of the risk of what He has permitted.

By stating the reality that some men do loose their Islam by performing the permissible deed of marrying the women of the book, marriage to the women of the book has NOT been opposed, a reality has just been stated.

Similarly, stating that practising polygyny births hostility in some cases is NOT an opposition to polygyny but a simple establishment of reality.

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BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 8 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

THE EXCEPTIONS

Who are those women who never experience any difficulty due to polygyny.
Who are those women who are sincerely not pretenders rather they are perfectly not undergoing any trauma nor pain due to polygyny? What is different about them?

We are all created upon fitrah, but the degree of each individual's inclination to each elements of the fitrah is different. Some individuals are strongly inclined towards some elements of the fitrah more than others.

While the fitrah of women on pregnancy involves hardship and weakness some women's pregnancy is characterized by ease and strength.

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” (Surah Luqman:14)

For those who experience ease and strength during pregnancy, their inclination towards the fitrah of weakness and hardship during pregnancy isn't strong.

Similarly, for those who find sharing their spouse easy, their inclination to the fitrah of wanting one's spouse to self isn't strong.

This is not a defect, this is just a variation in the inclination of humankind to the fitrah, which accounts for a great deal of individual differences. As it is willed from the majesty of ALLAH.

By stating that women generally undergo a level of difficulty due to pregnancy, I am only stating the nature of pregnancy, I am neither encouraging nor discouraging pregnancy. Similarly, I do not intend to encourage nor discourage polygyny by stating that women generally undergo a level of difficulty due to polygyny. The difficulty of pregnancy varies, while some die due to the pain, others survive, some are able to work during the difficulty. On the other hand, some will spend the entire time in the hospital. At the same time some will be free from all forms of difficulty.

ALLAH in His perfection permitted polygyny, yet He is more aware of the nature of what He has permitted.

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BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 9 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

THE RIFT

Religiously upright women do deviate and behave in a way that is very foreign to their original way and character when the difficulty of jealousy touches them. In fact, the mothers of the believers were not exempted from this natural characteristics. They also exhibit traits that is very foreign to their gracious personality and their noble status. This is a norm in polygyny which even the most righteous of women are not safe from. These are traits that even the mothers of the believers find themselves exhibiting.

The nobility of the wives of the messenger of ALLAH was defined by ALLAH in His majesty, when He defined the believers as those whom the wives of the messenger of ALLAH are their mothers. Therefore anyone who qualifies as a believer must accept the wives of the messenger of ALLAH as his or her mothers. Almighty ALLAH stated in the glorious Qur'an that: “The Prophet is closer to the believers than their ownselves, and his wives are their (believers) mothers” [al-Ahzaab 33:6]

A man once said that Aisha RadhiaLLAHU anha is not his mother. Aisha RadhiaLLAHU anha said; I am mother to the believers not mother to hypocrites. By inference anyone who denies the wives of the messenger of ALLAH as his mothers has literally said he is not a believer. Yet these women of eminence got into messy fights due to the difficulties of jealousy.

Below is a record of one of the incidences wherein they had a shouting match solely due to the nature of polygyny and the difficulty that jealousy brought about.

“Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had nine wives, and when he divided his time among them, he did not come back to the first one until the ninth day. Every night they used to gather in the house of the one whose night it was. He was in Aisha's house, and Zaynab came and he reached out his hand towards her. Aisha said: This is Zaynab, and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) withdrew his hand. They argued and raised their voices.”
[Sahih Muslim]

From this incidence we can deduce that although polygyny have the possibility to lead to jealousy, it doesn't always lead to jealousy. They must have spent so many nights in bliss and harmony; chattering, joking and playing as a family unit than the occasional occurrence of rift that rivalry and jealousy could cause. We can also understand from this incidence that unbecoming attitude is inevitable in polygyny, no matter the level of piousness of the women involved. It is a natural characteristics of the polygynous institution.

Unbecoming attitude might be totally absent in some people and they include: Those whose inclination to the fitrah of wanting one's spouse to self isn't strong. That is, those who find polygyny easy, just like there are women who find pregnancy easy.

Unbecoming attitude might also be inexistent in some people who despite their difficulties in polygyny are gifted with unique perseverance ability and characteristics. Most likely they don't exhibit unbecoming attitude because situations don't mix them with their co-wife.

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BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH
Reading 10 of
WHAT ABOUT POLYGYNY (Book 1)
A book by Hamidah Bint Abbas
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

POLYGYNY IN SHARI'AH

INTRODUCTION

People are already pre agitated on every aspect of polygyny. Before you talk, conclusions have been made and hyper sensitive remarks have been forwarded. But why? Stay calm for the sake of ALLAH. This is not a war there is no need for attack and defense. May ALLAH grant us knowledge and understanding. May ALLAH ease our distress.

Here, In Sha ALLAH, polygyny is going to be examined under the lense of law. What exactly is the status of polygyny in the law of Islam?

I am using this medium to call upon all those who are reading that instead of attacking me because of the strangeness of what you are going to read you should consider researching and authenticating it.

If something sound strange in the deen, it is not always a lie, sometimes it is a truth which is not popular.

As expertly summed up by the phenomenal writer, Ridwan Oladimeji Ojo @ Hodzoporium. He said:

“Become a newling. Subscribe yourself to the mindset of not knowing and wanting to learn.

Apparently you know, but don't prevent your knowns from conflicting what maybe taught.

Open your mind to hidden treasure of knowledge.”

O Allah! Enable me to see the Truth as Truth and give me the ability to follow it. And enable me to see the falsehood as false and give me the ability to refrain from it.
(Tafseer ibne Katheer vol.1 pg.292 verse 213)

GET READY: Get ready to be faced with the truth of the status of polygyny in the law of Islam.

Get ready to have a complete and absolute mindset shift.

Get ready to be drawn closer to the information about polygyny pre-recorded on the pages of books of the people of knowledge upon righteousness.

Get ready to gain complete information on polygyny.

Get ready to form the correct conclusions on polygyny.

I testify that there is no deity worthy of worship except ALLAH. I testify that Muhammad (SallaLLAHU alayhi wasalam) is the slave and messenger of ALLAH.

The way of the messenger of ALLAH is my way.

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� *BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH* �
_Reading 11_ of
_*What About Polygyny (Part 1)*_
```A book``` by _Hamidah Bint Abbas_
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

�❄�

BEHIND THE REVELATION

Qur'an chapter four, verse three reads:

“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.”
[Surah An-Nisa, Verse 3]

Now moving on to the context surrounding the revelation of the verse.
This verse, accompanied with other verses were revealed in the seventh century (600- 699) which was characterized by several wars which the Muslims have to fight against the desperate enemies of Islam. This verse (Verse 3, Surah An-Nisa) was revealed after the battle of Uhud. The battle of Uhud occurred in 625 AD, the equivalent of Shawwal 3 A.H. The most reinforced date is the 3rd of Shawwal. There is a difference of opinion though on the date. Surah An-Nisa was revealed in Madinah after Hijra.

The battle of Uhud occurred on a Saturday, in the month of Shawwal on the third year of Hijrah. `Ikrimah said that Uhud occurred in the middle of the month of Shawwal, and Allah knows best.

Al-Awfi reported that Ibn Abbas said that Surat An-Nisa’ was revealed in Al-Madinah. Ibn Marduwyah recorded similar statements from Abdullah bin Az-Zubayr and Zayd bin Thabit.
[Tafsir Ibn Kathir]

Verses 1 - 28 of Surah An-Nisa was estimated to have been revealed around the same time. That is, between the 3rd - 5th year of Hijra. These verses are characterized with instituting Islamic social orders targeting the stability of the society after the death of several Muslim men. There are laws targeting the stability of the orphans left behind. There are laws targeting the stability of the widows left behind. There are laws targeting the property of the orphans left behind. There are laws targeting the distribution of the property of the martyrs, that is, the law of inheritance. The essentiality of the family is reinforced. The law of marriage and so many other guidance on societal laws and regulations are also revealed.

Literally, these verses were revealed from the mercy of ALLAH to install new social order or overall restructuring of the society. The Islamic social system was installed and the pre-Islamic Jalihiliy social system died a natural death.
The Islamic social system was legislated after the battle of Uhud;
When the Islamic society is temporarily destabilized, and the conglomeration of all haters of Islam are seeking to use the opportunity to destroy what is left of the Muslims.

This verse (verse three of An-Nisa along with other verses) were revealed as a strategy to strengthen the basis of the Muslim society.
However, make no mistakes, almighty ALLAH revealed the Qur'an as an everlasting guidance to all humans that will come after it revelation. Therefore, the application of the social system revealed at the time of Uhud is not limited to the time of Uhud. Almighty ALLAH chose to reveal the societal order at the time of Uhud because that is when it is needed most.

The Hadith below gives account of one of the issues that arises after Uhud that almighty ALLAH revealed Ayah 11 of Surah An-Nisa upon.

Ahmad recorded from Jabir that he said,


"The wife of Sa`d bin Ar-Rabi came to Allah's Messenger and said to him, `O Allah's Messenger! These are the two daughters of Sa`d bin Ar-Rabi, who was killed as a martyr at Uhud. Their uncle took their money and did not leave anything for them. They will not be married unless they have money.'

The Messenger said, `Allah will decide on this matter.'

The ayah about the inheritance was later revealed and the Messenger of Allah sent word to their uncle commanding him,

Give two-thirds (of Sa`d's money) to Sa`d's two daughters and one eighth for their mother, and whatever is left is yours."

Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi, and Ibn Majah collected this.

Most rulings, regulations and guidelines in Islam were revealed around a context as a guidance for the Muslim Ummah at the time of the messenger of ALLAH. That is, rulings were revealed around a context.

The ruling of how to deal with those who accuse chaste women of unchastity was revealed around the incidence of the blasphemy against Aisha (RadhiaLLAHU anha). The ruling to investigate news was revealed around the incidence wherein the messenger of ALLAH separated from all of his wives and rumours were circulating that he divorced all of them. Umar took charge and investigated. The verse “Qadi semi Allahu qaula let....” was revealed surrounding the incidence of the woman who came to complain to the messenger of ALLAH about her husband. The ruling not to make the Halal Haram and not to make the Haram Halal was revealed in Surah At-Tahrim surrounding the incidence of the scheming of the wives of the messenger of ALLAH against him.

Imagine, if Islamic rulings were revealed as a list of overwhelming algebraic formula, will it be easy for the early Muslims to adopt and implement? Definitely not. Hence almighty ALLAH in His infinite mercy revealed the rulings surrounding a context. Hence the fact that some rulings were revealed in response to the instability after the battle of Uhud doesn't mean that the rulings were only revealed for the purpose of Uhud. Rather the rulings were revealed around the incidence of Uhud but it purpose are ever lasting and universal.

In other to have a better grasp of the verse 3 of Surah An-Nisa, below are the verses that precede it and the verse that succeed it.
“And give to the orphans their properties and do not substitute the defective [of your own] for the good [of theirs]. And do not consume their properties into your own. Indeed, that is ever a great sin.”
[Verse 2, Surah An-Nisa]

“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.”
[Verse 3, Surah An-Nisa]

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� _up next *Reading 12*, In Sha ALLAH_ �

© *HAMIDAH BINT ABBAS*

� *BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH* �
_Reading 12_ of
_*What About Polygyny (Part 1)*_
```A book``` by _Hamidah Bint Abbas_
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

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“And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.”
[Verse 4, Surah An-Nisa]

In verse 3, Surah An-Nisa, marriage to the orphan girl was permitted with conditions and so also is polygyny then followed by the permission to marry one wife then the permission to mate with slaves.

It is no coincidence that ALLAH permitted marriage to the orphan girls, polygyny, marriage to one wife and mating with slave girls after the battle of Uhud.

The categories of people who are left destitute, with absolutely no one are many, we have the orphaned young boys, parents who lost their sons, the orphaned young girls and the majorally widowed women.

However the laws of marriage were revealed while addressing the social dilemma of the aftermath of the battle of Uhud. This verse is estimated to have been revealed within the first decade after Hijrah. It was revealed in Madinah Al-
Munawarrah.

There are several layers of wisdom in this verse for those who reflect, when ALLAH wanted to instruct regarding how the destitute should be cared for, He started with the orphan girls, He instruct and command marriage to the orphan girls as a means to cater for them.

Then He addressed the condition of the widowed women. That hierarchy of importance of those that should be attended to, is a concept to marvel at.
Definitely men are also part of those who are left destitute, why are they left out in the concept of this verse. In fact the orphan boys are also left out completely, father's who have lost their sons are also left out, mother's who have lost their sons are also not focused on, in this particular verse. They are all catered for and addressed with other means.

It should also be noted that the responsibility of catering for the two category of people addressed in this verse is directly levelled upon the men. Men are bereaved, women are bereaved yet the responsibility to cater for the bereaved women is left for the men.

ALLAH will not level any responsibility upon a soul unless the soul can bear the load, (Suratul Baqarah verse 286). ALLAH has decreed that men are the protector and maintainer of the women. (Qur'an 4:34) There is no reason to feel like: "Are
men created to serve women?"

The men have been duly equipped to deliver this duty, ALLAH states that "Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands)" Qur'an 4:34.

When it comes to parental relationship, parents are in charge of their children. This does not mean that the children are discriminated against. It only means that for us to have stability in the society, parents must be in charge of their children.

This is because parents provide from their means for the children, so by default they are also responsible for the protection and maintenance of their wards. By default the children are charged with the responsibility of obeying their parents.
Let us pay attention to it, it will be practically impossible for the parents to perform their role if the children are not ready to obey them. Similarly in spousal relationship, men are in charge of the women simply because they are responsible for the financial upkeep, security and protection of the women and the women are commanded to respect and obey their husband because of the role of their husband in their life.

Women are not discriminated against by this stipulation at all, it only means for us to have stability in the society, men must be in charge of their women. As clear as that.

To further elaborate on the verse under discourse:
{And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls} The first phrase of the verse instructs men to marry orphans.

The first solution that ALLAH stipulate in this verse during the critical phase in the lives of Muslims - after the battle of Uhud, is marriage to the orphan girls.
Of course, the regulations and recommendations for marrying the orphan girls could have been revealed at any other time willed by ALLAH, but almighty ALLAH in His infinite mercy chose to reveal the verse following the battle of Uhud. It serves as a phenomenal intervention and it provides a way forward for the Muslim society at that state of the society.

However, despite the fact that the battle of Uhud is long gone, marriage to orphan girls still remain permissible and the principles of marriage to orphan girls remain valid.

ALLAH commanded men to marry orphan girls because that is what is nearest in providing stability to the orphan girls at that point in time, there is an abundant population of orphaned girls who are unprovided for.

By marrying the orphan girl, the girl will have a home, a family, love, affection and most especially stability and assurance of protection. ALLAH does not permit an action unless there is goodness in the action.

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� _up next *Reading 13*, In Sha ALLAH_ �

© *HAMIDAH BINT ABBAS*

� *BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH* �
_Reading 13_ of
_*What About Polygyny (Part 1)*_
```A book``` by _Hamidah Bint Abbas_
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

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Despite the permission coming in such a critical period in the lives of Muslims, that is after the battle of Uhud, the permission to marry orphan girls was given by ALLAH under a CLEAR condition. And the condition is: the certainty of the man that he will never oppress the orphan girl.

How will he know that he will certainly not oppress the orphan girl? He must FIRST introspect, and affirm that he will never fall into the error of oppressing the orphan girl.

As a reminder, ALLAH, the one who created us and know us more than we will ever know ourselves is the one who stipulated that condition as a MUST, it is not a coincidence at all. It is inert in human nature to oppress those that are below him in authority.

Police officers and military personnel often exert their might and authority recklessly on civilians. That is because naturally any human who is given ANY form of authority tends to get intoxicated with that authority. It will be easier for a man to oppress an orphan girl because he is sure that nobody will bring him into account about how he is treating her.

It will be easier for him to marry her and turn her into a slave instead of a spouse. Hence the reason why ALLAH explicitly stated that if any man is not certain about his capability to be just to orphan girls he should desist from marrying them even under such critical circumstances.
Regarding this words of ALLAH, Al-Bukhari recorded that Urwah bin Az-Zubayr said that;

He asked Aishah about the meaning of the statement of Allah,
(If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls).
She said, "O my nephew! This is about the orphan girl who lives with her guardian and shares his property. Her wealth and beauty may tempt him to marry her without giving her an adequate dowry which might have been given by another suitor. So, such guardians were forbidden to marry such orphan girls unless they treated them justly and gave them the most suitable dowry; otherwise they were ordered to marry woman besides them."
[Tafsir Ibn Kathir]

That is, men tend to marry orphan girls who were under their guardianship out of consideration for either their property, beauty or because they thought they would be able to treat them according to their desires, as they had no one to protect them. After marriage such men sometimes committ excesses against these girls. It is in this context that the Muslims are told that if they fear they will not be able to do justice to the orphan girls, then they should marry other girls whom they like.
[Fath al-Barr 8:87]

We understand from the above that, the atrocities that will be generated from oppressing a married orphan girl is more than any form of social instability that leaving orphans unmarried can cause.
In other words, the men will be doing the society a great deal of favour if they abandon the idea of marrying the orphan girls if they fear that they will not be just to them.

By inference, in Shari'ah it is not permissible to marry an orphan girl without the certainty that one will be just to her. Marrying orphans girls is Haram for a man if it will lead him into oppressing the orphan girl. That is because the reason why ALLAH permitted marriage to orphan girls is to stabilize the society and ALLAH will not permit any deed if there is no goodness in the deed for humankind.

Marriage to orphan girls is Halal because it has goodness in it, it becomes Haram automatically if it has the possibility of generating negativity. As simple as that. Every deed that is permissible in Islam becomes automatically impermissible for a particular individual , if there is more harm in practicing the deed by that individual. And that is known as SADD ADHARA'I in fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence).
The principle is very straight forward, for the purpose of easy comprehension, it first principle simply states that: Every permissible deed remains permissible if there is goodness in it. It second principle states that: Every permissible deed turns to forbidden (Haram), if there is greater harm in it. It third law states that: Every permissible deed turns to forbidden if the negatives in it outweighs the positives in it. Therefore marriage to orphan girls is forbidden to a man if he fears that he will not be just to her.

The second part of the verse:
{then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them)}

The second phrase of the verse is the theme upon which the whole of this book centers upon. With this phrase almighty ALLAH permits polygyny, that is, the practice of a man having more than a wife. The whole of this book is going to centre upon a phrase embedded in verse 3 of Surah An-Nisa.

ALLAH, the most just, instructed the men that: If you will not be able to marry the orphan girls due to your fear of oppressing them, then marry OTHER women of your choice in twos and threes and fours. In this case, these women must be women who are not orphans, women who have families that will stand up for them in case the man want to oppress her.

Who are those women that ALLAH commanded the men to marry? They are all other women except the orphans. ALLAH in His wisdom and majesty legislated a principle in marriage (polygyny) while addressing the social destabilization that the Muslims have found themselves in after the battle of Uhud. And that principle legislated in marriage is polygyny. And that is the theme of this book.
Polygyny, just like marriage to the orphans has been permitted in a context, and that context is to end the social calamity that succeeds the battle of Uhud. Marriage to the orphan girl and polygyny are both permitted by ALLAH in the FORM of instruction or command.

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� _up next *Reading 14*, In Sha ALLAH_ �

© *HAMIDAH BINT ABBAS*

� *BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH* �
_Reading 14_ of
_*What About Polygyny (Part 1)*_
```A book``` by _Hamidah Bint Abbas_
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

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That is because ALLAH is commanding them and instructing them to marry the orphan girls firstly, if they are not qualified to marry the orphan girls then they should marry other women in twos and threes and fours.
Polygyny has also been permitted only with a regulation just like marriage to the orphan girls and that regulation is the capability of the man to be just. A man must be certain of his capability to ensure justice before polygyny can be permissible for him.

Meaning that, after thorough introspection, any man that have found himself without the certainty to be just between wives must not marry more than one wife. It is as simple as that.

Polygyny remains an ordinary permission which ALLAH has given to the men as part of strategies to cater for the women after the battle of Uhud. And it is permissible to all men except those who are not certain about their capability to be just.

While the battle of Uhud is long gone, the same law is still applicable to any man who wants to marry an orphan girl today, he must FIRST ascertain that he will not oppress the orphan girl before marriage to the orphan girl will be permissible for him. Likewise any man who want to marry more than one wife today must first ascertain that he will be just between them before he forge ahead to marry more than one.

Examine Qur'an 4:3, marrying orphan girls is permissible, that is all, but it has been made Haram for some men, who are they? Men who does not have the certainty of being just to the orphans. Did ALLAH mention any man's name? Definitely not, meaning it is solely left for every man that want to marry an orphan to look albeit deeply into himself and answer the question ---- Am I certain that I will be just to the orphan girl, am I certain that I will not oppress the orphan girl? Such a man must carry out that self introspection within himself while ALLAH serves as his witness.

If the result of the honest introspection of the man is an unambiguous certainty that he will never opress the orphan girl then that is the only condition that will qualify him to marry the orphan girl. If the result of the sincere introspection of a man is uncertainty, or fear of likely falling into the sin of oppression, then it is clear from the law of ALLAH that marrying an orphan is not permissible for that particular man. By default marriage to an orphan girl is Haram for such a man. If a man voluntarily commit Haram defiantly, then he is a sinner.

The introspection is between a man and his creator --- ALLAH. Being trickish and deceptive while carrying out an introspection is only at his own detriment. Does he think he can deceive ALLAH? He knows it in his heart that he is not certain of being just to the orphan girl, yet he says it out that he is certain of being just to her. He has just successfully multiplied his sin of committing Haram with lieing.
So the question now is, how can you carry out the introspection to ascertain whether you will be just or not to the orphan girl. There is a list of procedure to follow among them is that: Sit down and imagine yourself in a scenario wherein she is refusing to obey your instruction. Will you be loving and patient while correcting her or will you flare up and gift her with two resounding slap? This and many other tips are the procedures to introspect on this subject matter.

Again, in summary what I am essentially saying is that marrying an orphan girl is forbidden to all men except those men that have carefully ascertained that they will definitely be just to her. In other words every man is allowed to consider marrying an orphan girl, because it's general rule is PERMISSIBLE, however the only set of men that are actually permitted to marry an orphan girl are those that are certain of being just to them after carrying out a thorough introspection.

How will you know that you are certain? Let me narrate an incidence from my Pre-degree days to you, one day in my school hostel a boy promised to jump from the second floor of a building, seeing the attention he got another boy promised to do the same. While they are trying to do it, people are screaming don't do it, don't do it, the two of them started to climb the stairs, one was climbing with full confidence and calm face, and the other was climbing with a lot of fear etched on his face.

The first one jumped successfully but a friend to the second boy held him back, telling him "you are not CONFIDENT, so don't risk your life by jumping to your death" The boy replied, "thanks I appreciate." And he didn't jump. Though he didn't jump, he earned respect from staying back from what he is not capable of.
In conclusion, the fastest way to know that you are certain of being just to an orphan girl is your confidence level. Are you confident about your certainty?

The procedure to marry an orphan girl is not just to fall in love with her or develop interest for her and then start pursuing her. A compulsory step to take will be to pause, and ascertain that you are confident of being just to her, if you are not confident of being just to her then you must not marry her.

Because the ruling is that it is forbidden for you. You have to let go of the interest or love you have developed for her, and ALLAH will accept your sincerity if you have forgone what is forbidden to you, fearing only Him.

Similarly, the same procedure is applicable to polygyny. A man must introspect and ascertain that he is indeed confident about his capability to be just between more than one wife before he will ever go ahead with polygyny.

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� _up next *Reading 15*, In Sha ALLAH_ �

© *HAMIDAH BINT ABBAS*

� *BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH* �
_Reading 15_ of
_*What About Polygyny (Part 1)*_
```A book``` by _Hamidah Bint Abbas_
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

�❄�

If a man is not certain of being just to more than one wife then polygyny is clearly forbidden for such a man. Polygyny is only permissible for a man who is certain that he will be just to more than a wife. That is why even if two ladies come to you, saying that they are both in love with you and they want you to marry them.
Don't jump up and say Yes, you are not allowed to do that, that is not the route, you have to sit and introspect and be confident regarding the certainty that you will be just between them. Then thereafter you have to say yes.

I have come across a case where a man turned down offer from friends who came to propose at the same time. They were like, "brother, both of us love you and will like to marry you" And the brother was like “I am sorry, but I I don't think I am capable of maintaining justice between two wives.”

That is an height of truthfulness which only the fear of ALLAH can make one attain.

In this second phrase of this verse almighty ALLAH limits the maximum number of wives a man can have into four.
Some people assert that ALLAH (Subuhanahu wata'ala) has limited the maximum number of wives into nine, the argument is that the letter “wa” means “and” therefore mathna wa thulatha wa ruba'a means two plus three plus four, which equals nine.

This interpretation is wrong because in the life time of the messenger of ALLAH he instructs men who have more than four wives while accepting Islam to divorce the rest of the wives while the maximum number of wives they have should be left at four.

“It is reported that when Ghaylan, the chief of Ta'if, embraced Islam he had nine wives. The Prophet (peace be on him) ordered him to keep only four wives and divorce the rest. Another person, Nawfal b. Mu'awiyah, had five wives. The Prophet (peace be on him) ordered him to divorce one of them.

Imam Ahmad recorded that Salim said that his father said that;

Ghilan bin Salamah Ath-Thaqafi had ten wives when he became Muslim, and the Prophet said to him, "Choose any four of them (and divorce the rest)."
During the reign of Umar, Ghilan divorced his remaining wives and divided his money between his children.

When Umar heard news of this, he said to Ghilan, "I think that the devil has conveyed to your heart the news of your imminent death, from what the devil hears during his eavesdropping. It may as well be that you will not remain alive but for a little longer. By Allah! You will take back your wives and your money, or I will take possession of this all and will order that your grave be stoned as is the case with the grave of Abu Righal (from Thamud, who was saved from their fate because he was in the Sacred Area. But, when he left it, he was tormented like they were).”
[Tafsir Ibn Kathir]

Some people argue that since the messenger of ALLAH had nine wives then their interpretation of Quran four verse three is accurate. Almighty ALLAH permits limitless polygyny for the messenger of ALLAH so that he will be able to perform his messengership mission with ease. It is a special permission only meant for him.

The evidence for this is stated in Suratul Ahzab, Quran chapter 33 verse 5. While stating the women lawful for the messenger of ALLAH for marriage almighty ALLAH says what means: “[this is] only for you, excluding the [other] believers. We certainly know WHAT We have made obligatory upon them concerning their wives and those their right hands possess.”

“O Prophet, indeed We have made lawful to you your wives to whom you have given their due compensation and those your right hand possesses from what Allah has returned to you [of captives] and the daughters of your paternal uncles and the daughters of your paternal aunts and the daughters of your maternal uncles and the daughters of your maternal aunts who emigrated with you and a believing woman if she gives herself to the Prophet [and] if the Prophet wishes to marry her, [this is] only for you, excluding the [other] believers. We certainly know WHAT We have made obligatory upon them concerning their wives and those their right hands possess, [but this is for you] in order that there will be upon you no discomfort. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.”
[Al-Ahzab 33:5]

Indeed trying to understand the Qur’an from mere wishful thinking will create artificial problems for us in the Muslim world. All jurists agree upon the fact that the maximum number of wives anyone can have at a specific point in time is four.
Yet we have people that are claiming confidently that the maximum number of wives permissible for a man at a point in time is nine. Where their understanding originated from, only ALLAH knows.

There are some other very funny people who concluded that two and three and four mathematically means two multiplied by three by four which equals twenty-four wives. May ALLAH grant us understanding.

The third phrase of the verse reads: {then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess.}

This phrase in the verse is pointing us to the fact that if a man is not certain of being just to more than one wife then he should marry only one wife. Furthermore, if he is not certain of being just to one wife he should marry a slave (the possession of his right hand) because being just to one wife is compulsory while being just to a slave who is a wife is only necessary under law and not obligatory.

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� _up next *Reading 16*, In Sha ALLAH_ �

© *HAMIDAH BINT ABBAS*

� *BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH* �
_Reading 16_ of
_*What About Polygyny (Part 1)*_
```A book``` by _Hamidah Bint Abbas_
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

�❄�

The third phrase of verse three of Surah An-Nisa is further buttressed by Verse 25 of Suratul An-Nisa:

Indeed, ALLAH is the greatest.

“And whoever of you have not the means wherewith to wed free, believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those (captives and slaves) whom your right hands possess, and Allah has full knowledge about your Faith, you are one from another. Wed them with the permission of their own folk (guardians, Auliya' or masters) and give them their Mahr according to what is reasonable; they (the above said captive and slave-girls) should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boy-friends.”
[Surah An-Nisa, Verse 25]

Finally, the fourth and the last phrase of the verse reads: {That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.}

What this last phrase is pointing us to from the beginning of the verse as explained by Shaykh Ibn Baaz in Al Balaag magazine is that it is better for a man to follow the sequence of prescription of this verse when he wanted to marry.
That is, what ALLAH prefers EVERY MAN that wanted to get married to do is that he should consider the option of marrying orphan girl, FIRST, if he is not qualified he should drop that option and proceed to focus on marrying two women.

If he is not qualified he should marry only one, if he is qualified he should consider marrying three women, if he is not qualified to marry three women he should stick with two women but if he is qualified to marry three women, he should consider marrying the fourth woman, after introspection if he is not qualified to marry four women, he should stick with three women but if he is qualified to marry four, then he should marry four women.

Finally if he is not capable of being just to one wife then he should marry a slave girl. ALLAH says following this sequence is nearer to prevent a man from falling into injustice. Meaning that injustice is a major sin, (Al-Kaba'ir)
[Paraphrased from Sheikh Ibn Baaz in al-Balaag Magazine]

This sequence that I have presented above is NOT Wajib (compulsory), but it is preferable (Mustahabb) in law (Shari'ah).

However it should be noted that a man will have to do the introspection to ascertain his capability to maintain justice all by himself, between him and ALLAH, no one will measure his accuracy except ALLAH, therefore any man that is certain of his return to ALLAH and fear ALLAH should be honest with ALLAH and himself about the result of his introspection.

The sequence by which a lot of men marry today is to marry one wife while they have not yet concluded on whether they will marry another one after her or not. They leave the decision open for their desires. Meaning they will marry another wife if they develop affection for another woman along the line. This is not the stipulated way to get married.

The stipulated way to get married is to introspect and ascertain your capability to be just to the orphan girl, after ascertaining your capability to be just to an orphan, there is no sin on you if you do not marry an orphan, but in your case marrying an orphan is Mustahabb (preferable).

However if you are not certain of your capability to be just to the orphan girl then marriage to the orphan girl is Haram (forbidden) for you. Hence you should move on to the next recommended outline by the verse which is marrying two women. You should examine your capability to be just between two wives, if you are capable of being just between two wives then marrying two wives is preferable (Mustahabb) for you.

But there is no sin on you if you do not marry two wives after ascertaining that you will be just between two wives. The way to marry is to introspect and ascertain that you will be just between two wives, if you are not certain about your capability to be just between two wives then marrying two wives is Haram (forbidden) for you.

As straight forward as that. Desires have absolutely no say in the decision making process. Then the same procedure is essential to determine the suitability of marrying three wives then on to four wives, then on to one wife, then on to slave girl.

In conclusion, marrying slave girl should be the last option every man should consider. He should first pass through the rank, but if at the end of the day he find out that marrying slave girl is the category he will fall into, that is when he should marry a slave girl.

However there is no sin on any man who decides to stick personally to a slave girl even though he qualifies to marry orphan girl but marrying orphan girl will be better for him. It is true that the principle was stipulated after the battle of Uhud but it remains valid as the preferable sequence to get married for men till today.
However in the reality of today one cannot find a slave girl hence the last option is to marry only one wife.

Some people do claim that polygyny is no longer permissible after the battle of Uhud. But that is absolutely wrong and incorrect, this verse has been revealed to provide a solution after the battle of Uhud but it is a principle in marriage which remains valid forever according to the understanding and agreement of the people of knowledge and understanding.

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� _up next *Reading 17*, In Sha ALLAH_ �

© *HAMIDAH BINT ABBAS*

BismiLLAH

OVERPROTECTING POLYGYNY By Hamidah

Case I:
She want to marry him (monogamously), but majority of his family members hate her for personal reasons, although she love the man she decided not to marry him because she can't deal in an immersion of profound hatred.

Society: Very good. In fact, Yoruba will say what means “It is better to have a bad husband than to have bad in-laws.” Reality has proven this over and over again. Having an army of hater is a curse. Living where you aren't CLEARLY wanted is hell on earth. Even the messenger of ALLAH made Hijra when the enmity in Makkah is suffocating. Although people are surviving in an hatred saturated environment, just like people survive prison but no human should walk into chaos with full consciousness.

Case II:
She want to marry him (polygynously), but majority of his family members hate her with passion for personal reasons, although she love the man she decided not to marry him because she can't deal in immersion of profound hatred.

Society: Your Imaan have kwashiorkor, how dare you run away from polygyny? That means you hate the law of ALLAH. Why do you fear spending the rest of your life in hatred. Do you fear people's hatred or the law of ALLAH? You will just end up in hell-fire. You better go ahead and immerse yourself in hate till death, that is Jihad! Jihad!! Jihad!!!

Me: lolzzzz, but why? clear double standards...

The over protectiveness towards polygyny is damaging. The sensitivity surrounding it is so intense. May ALLAH grant us ease and comfort.

Even the messenger of ALLAH left Makkah despite how blessed it is because the plotting and the scheming of the disbelievers is overwhelming.

Like I said in my previous article, titled: “But I want to marry him” Read it here: https://hamidahbintabbas.com/900-2/ While addressing those who would like to enter into a marriage where hostility is ascertained, I stated that: “You might argue that she is only destroying her akhirah if she should oppress you. Well, that is the truth but remember while destroying her own Akhirah she will get your own dunya destroyed also.”

If the messenger of ALLAH leave Makkah in Hijrah to avoid hostility, then you have more rights to avoid living a hostility filled life. Don't let anyone bamboozle into chaos. There is something called WISDOM, use it!
And ALLAH knows best.

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BismiLLAH.

POLYGYNY ISN'T HALAL FOR EVERYONE

By Hamidah, www.facebook.com/hamidahbintabbas

I was on Facebook reading a great post from Aboo Banaat on Polygyny, there are some comments on the posts, and I feel like publishing a whole post in reaction to a comment.

Polygyny isnt Halal for every man.

Let your consciousness assimilate that.

There are men who would win Jahanum because of their injustice in polygyny and there are men who would be resurrected half paralysed because of their blatant injustice in polygyny. Surah An-Nisaa has it that a man's heart will be inclined more to one of the wives but he is mandated not to leave the other hanging.

But today, men will claim that they love both equally. Qur'an says your heart will be more inclined to one of them. You are busy denying the words of ALLAH by insisting that your own heart will be equal in love. And you will be reciting proverbs that each of them is unique and you love them differently. Nobody is denying that, but DEFINITELY, you will still love one more than the other. Admit that. Internalize that. And make CONSCIOUS efforts to ensure that you aren't leaving one of the wives hanging.

MOST men have NEVER and will NEVER make CONSCIOUS efforts to be just to the wife they love lesser. Glad tidings to those who heed admonition and actually start putting efforts into being just.

Today, men put in ZERO efforts to ensure that they are just especially to the wife they desire lesser. It is clear to everyone that the messenger of ALLAH (SallaLLAHU alayhi wasalam) preferred Aisha above all wives he had in polygyny yet he didn't spend other people's day with Aisha. He didn't claim that others committed nushooz while they didn't just to be with Aisha. He didn't give Aisha money while he abandon all other wives. He drew lots to choose whom to travel with. He didn't just keep on choosing Aisha at the detriment of the others. He disciplined Aisha when she errs. He make Dua'a to ALLAH to accept the justice he is STRIVING to serve and he asks for forgiveness for where he errs.

Today, polygynous men WILL NEVER make Dua'a for the ability to be just in polygyny. They won't even put doing justice into their consciousness AT ALL. The warning of ALLAH on how they will be resurrected is just a joke for them. Its not something serious at all.

Scholars will say it over and over and over again that polygyny has been made forbidden for every man who doubt his ability to be just in polygyny. Yet, today, NO one is taking heed.

Men are told to strive to be able to practice polygyny. LOLZZZZ. Brother in Islam, money is not the only asset you need.

On various polygynous groups that I belong to, I can't count the number of women asking things like: “Should I abort my pregnancy? My husband told me to abort because his other wife has just given birth and he can't afford to spend money on my prenatal hospital sessions and delivery because the cost of the new born baby is draining him.”

I laugh alot when people who aren't capable of polygyny insist upon polygyny. They claim they want to expand the Ummah that is why they are doing polygyny yet at the end of the day they are commanding their wives to abort because they can't afford to expand the Ummah. The hell-fire of some people, Kai, Kai, Kai, may ALLAH protect us. Someone financed her pregnancy and delivery singlehandedly, her husband showed her hell for getting pregnant when the other wife is also pregnant. When I say hell, I mean hell. What's all these? As lf she is the one who impregnated herself. Why do you want to attain pleasure with no desire to take responsibilities for the pleasure? And on the day of the aqiqah he is busy priding himself as someone who is expanding the Ummah. WaLLAHI, the way ALLAH will deal with some people, only HE knows. Yes, ALLAH is the most forgiving and He is also the MOST severe in punishment. So keep it up.

If you know you aren't capable of doing further mathematics, you jejely choose another subject. Some men are utter failure in monogamy. They need to invest, time and consciousness into giving only one wife her rights and they are still failing, they are failures in marriage (monogamy) yet they still want to go into further marriage (polygyny).

All my life, I have never seen someone who is a total failure in mathematics choosing further mathematics. But today you see men who are utter failure in marriage going for further marriage. They will suffer. Their wives will suffer. Their children will suffer. It is worse when the suffering isn't financial but emotional and/or psychological. Their injustice stinks so badly that you cannot but pity how disgraceful their paralysed body will look. The door of repentance is still opened though. Shun pride, Heed admonition, be saved. Don't let pride ride you into the fire. Some men's good deeds for decades upon decades will be used to pay back the debt of the injustice they committed to that wife, their good deeds will so be exhausted that they will realize on the day of resurrection that the hell-fire is the truth. Don't let this be your portion, the door to repentance is still open and retracing the steps is still possible. And ALLAH is a witness to the truth that I wrote this with love.

Admonition is just like medicine. It maybe bitter but it makes you feel better after you have used it.

Again, “polygyny isnt Halal for every man.” Need evidence for this statement? Check out the book, “What About Polygyny” Download for free at: https://hamidahbintabbas.com/what-about-polygyny-part-one/

Follow Aboo Banaat on Facebook. ALLAH has united a number of homes through his keyboard. This post is a reaction to a comment on his post.

Join Hamidah Bint Abbas on WhatsApp click: https:///send?phone=2347086717068&text=I%20want%20to%20join%20hamidahbintabbas.com%20broadcast%20list

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- www.HamidahBintAbbas.com

� BismiLLAH �

IT IS DIFFICULT

“Fighting this jealousy in Polygyny is difficult.” And as such she lamented.

May ALLAH honour and honey her for the effort she is investing into fighting the jealousy off.

I replied,

It will be difficult,

More difficult than getting a degree,
More difficult than giving birth to twenty children at a time,

You have to realize this truth and make actual *efforts* to attain success.

May ALLAH make it very easy and simple.

To improve and attain success in life you have to be uncomfortable, you have to go through pain to get better.

Sitting around and drowning in your pain is *VERY EASY* and it can overtake you in the slightest second.

You have to force yourself to go against the tide, you won't be automatically relieved of your pain.

Nor would being extremely down and sad ever leave you, you have to chase away the sadness.

You have to take responsibilities for the exit of the sadness from your life.

The sadness won't ever leave you.

Adhkar and the remembrance of ALLAH *everytime* has helped many.

You can start from reciting the daily adhkar. Morning and Evening. Never miss a day. Recite with all your heart and with the English translation.

You can start from reciting one adhkar.

Just one, in the first week, then the second week, proceed to the next adhkar.

I understand that you are down, I know how terribly consuming this is, may ALLAH grant you ease.

I am sending you virtual hugs from my heart and consciousness. I know this hurts but you will *only* increase in hurt for the rest of your life if you do not fight this off.

I told you to decide which orphanage or Internally displaced people's camp or which refugee's camp did you want to serve, or go to the red Cross, road safety or *any* organization that is helping people in distress.

Go to hospitals in the wards of those who are dieing, go to the prison yard.

Spend time which people in destitution. Spend time with people that are almost dead. Spend time with people that are imprisoned.

And *expressly* you will begin to improve and get better.

You might not see results of your efforts to stop feeling down in the first few months.

But never stop trying, the results will definitely come back to you.

The best way to remain down till you actually grow old is to continue to blame someone else for your dilemma.

There is no room for blame game.

Action.

Action.

Take Action, WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE....

Push yourself to get better.

Because NONE will push you.

Is it jealousy?

Is it betrayals?

Is it feeling down?

Is it trauma?

We shall definitely overcome!!!

Declare a war on your tragedy TODAY!!!

Don't give your pain food!!

Stop the blame game.

It is making your tragedy fat.

***

She promised to try harder.

Then I said,

That's my woman of valour,

That's the kind of spirit I want,

The spirit of, “I will conquer!”
_____

_There are alot of women going through the same situation you are going through_

In Sha ALLAH,

You will help them,

And that is where your service of generosity will commence, right here, right now!

I will tell you how,

I am going to make all the advice I gave to you into an article with the extraction of every details.

Hope you are okay with that...

She replied: “Naaam am owky with that”

May ALLAH ease the affairs and distress of every woman in menstral pain, pregnancy difficulty, the agony of the labour room and the jealousy of polygyny and the difficulty of plaiting the hair and the sacrifice of seeking for knowledge.

O ye sisters, March forward in Jihad, may ALLAH convert our difficulties into homes in Jannah, and gardens in the grave.

I am Hamidah, I love to be strange.

Join Hamidah Bint Abbas on WhatsApp click: https:///send?phone=2347086717068&text=I%20want%20to%20join%20hamidahbintabbas.com%20broadcast%20list

Join Her on Facebook, Like her page: www.facebook.com/hamidahbintabbas

Download her book on Polygyny, click: https://hamidahbintabbas.com/what-about-polygyny-part-one/

@ www.HamidahBintAbbas.com

BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH

Being a second wife can mean alot of things. There are situations where in the first wife will be willing to let you in but once the reality sets in she will start showing ATTITUDES. And this has nothing to do with Imaan and Taqwa. Example: Sarah the wife of Nabi Ibrahim alayhi salam. Every institution have unique challenges. MARRIAGE have its own unique challenges. Polygynous marriage specifically have it own. You have to be sure that you are up to it.

© *Hamidah Bint Abbas*
@ HamidahBintAbbas.com
Repost from September 26, 2017