Let nobody fool you.

APC especially the Lagos division is a goddam monarchy. Anybody who does not realise that is either living in a fool’s paradise or just floating in a codeine induced haze. Someone sent me this picture of a young candidate from I suppose Osun state vying for a an electoral position paying homage to the Lord of Bourdillon, the maker and breaker of all that is within his territory. Looking at this picture, I smile with respect for the kind of influence and power the Jagaban has amassed for himself over time. Quite remarkable I must say.

I have seen people who helplessly pray that the empire should end without being able to lift a finger to ensure this happens. Well, the man has laid his bed, let him lay well abeg. You see this candidate understands the strategy. Printing campaign posters, speaking big English or even spending bags of money are all exercises in futility if you do not have the blessings of the throne in Bourdillon. I tell you, we all know that and it is the worst kept secret in Nigeria’s politics of today. You must at least know someone in Bourdillon if not you are just wasting your time.

Me, I used to know the Chef. At least the only one time I met with the Asiwaju, I greeted him. He was carrying a tray of food and running behind the Asiwaju who was too busy in various meetings to bother about the carefully prepared Moi-Moi and Ewa Agoyin. Yes Asiwaju eats o, he is human na. He even goes to the toilet, I can swear to it o. It was in this milieu that I sought the chef’s advice on my ambition in Shomolu. He looked at me and said I should not bother that he already had his candidate endorsed by the Lord himself so I should not waste my time.

So in this realisation, I have come up with the following tips on securing Asiwaju’s endorsement:
Never go to Bourdilon on Monday, that is his day in the Other Room
Never go through the chef, he has candidates
When you eventually meet his majesty, remain kneeling like the captioned picture
Never shake him o. Even if he offers his hands just keep your head bowed.
If you have ever been to Chicago state University tell him. If not still mention that you drove past the gate.
Drop his wife’s name and mention just how she has remained beautiful despite her age
Never mention the following names – El-Rufai, Saraki, Oshiomole in your treatise.
Read psalm 23 before you enter.
If you are muslim read the equivalent
When you get rejected as you would most likely be, still prostrate and thank him for the rare opportunity.
Finally, never stand up to walk away from the Asiwaju, crawl on your belly away from his presence.


My advice to all candidates, is not to invest in the APC Nomination Forms until you get a clear green light from Bourdillon. In fact it is better you settle the gateman at Bourdillon to buy the Visitors Form at that gate than for you to go buy APC Form . I don give my advise, I dey go sleep.

Duke of Shomolu
Looking for Asiwaju Trouble.


http://www.dukeofshomolu.com/2018/09/apc-its-effing-monarchy.html

cc Seun , Lalasticlala

De man beside is dat a TV he is using to make call