Looking back over the years I came to realize what I have been missing and thats love. I never knew what is was until I was a freshman in highschool. I never told anyone what I felt because I didn't know what I was feeling. All I remember was love at first sight. It all started one day at school it was like every other day, I left my class not knowing what life has in store for me, and as I was opening my locker I heard the sweetest voice ever say to me, excuse me do you have chat and I was like yes (I was so stunned I didn't know what to do, so many things rushed through my head at once I was practically speechless at this point.) so anyways she asked me if I knew someone by the chat name of mili-kid and I said no. At this point I was determined to dedicate my life spending it with her.Why?
I don't know. I never thought someone so beutiful could walk into my life and steal my heart so quickly. She walked away with the sweetest smile I've ever seen, so full of joy, and pride. All I knew was if I wanted to have any chance with her I would have to tell her. But I didn't and I don't know why. Through the entire year all I wanted was that one chance to see her just like I did on that same day my heart was held. But I didn't. I never saw her over the summer and she was the only person on my mind, I have'nt had a decent goodnight sleep because she was all I thought of. The begining of 2001 and I don't feel any better. Then out of know where she showed up at our school (she's a freshman in college)(no senior year) to see some of her friends and I heard multiple things from people on what she said she wanted to do to me and so forth. But I didn't believe most of it, to be honest I didn't know what to think. I skipped classes to find her and with my luck I just missed her again. I wanted to give up but I kept my hope and pride in what I believed in.I felt so depressed from not seeing her, so what I did was help solve all my other friends problems and left mine behind. And then on Tuesday 12, 2002 we were putting on these wierd exibits and she showed up and my heart lit up with joy and I could'nt keep my eyes off her and I was too afraid to say anything and I knew she liked me and like an idiot I didn't say a thing again. I was hoping to see her the next day but I didn't. I was so idiotic and thoughtless. I finally went to a very good friend she just happened to be her ex. and I explained my whole situation to her and she gave me her (the girl I like) e-mail and I didn't want it at first because I was afraid of rejection but I didn't care at this point so I wrote her a letter. And then I got a letter back from her and she said she's wanted to talk to me since last year. It's wierd because everything I tried to say and do in a year happened all in three days.My heart feels renewed again, the only thing thats different at this point is I'm not afraid to say what I feel for her after all I'm writing it all down to express my love to the greatest girl in the world and if god gives me my chance then my chance will be to spend it with her.

Notes From The Author:
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