Sunday, July 11, 2010

By: KEMI ASHEFON


WHAT can make a woman hate her husband of five years? Maureen will say it better. "He is too stingy, too loud and abuses me in the presence of others," she starts.

Though they courted eight years before getting married, Maureen should have known everything about him and not get irritated with his ways. "Yes, but there are some habits I never knew of until I married him," Maureen laments.

"Not that he was very gentle when we were courting, but he never abused me or corrected me of any wrong when others, especially his family members, were around. Then, he would still give me of his meagre salary for my needs and he was not as garrulous as this.

"Maybe this has to do with his new found wealth - he now takes pride in everything he does for me and the kids. We will be going on summer break in a few weeks and already, he had called his siblings and his mother to inform them. To them, he spends all his money on the children and me.

"They have taught him to be stingy towards us because they are his advisers. Recently, he wanted me to pay for the children's school party, but I was late in doing it. He became angry and abused me in front of his siblings, who were busy laughing. He called me a half baked graduate, who does not appreciate her husband's efforts. He became irritable to me and I have not been talking to him ever since."

Marvel, 45, a mother of two teenagers does not know what to say or do to re-activate the love she had for Tony, her husband of 15 years. "I never knew he had two kids - a boy and a girl before we got married and I was not aware of it," she says. "Meanwhile, my parents love him as their son, but they don't know about these love-children.

"Though he is not married to the mother of these kids, she is always present at every family get-together, especially at my husband's family house. I have not told my parents about this but I always told them I don't have problems in my marriage.

"How did I know? One of his sisters walked up to me and introduced the woman as 'the mother of your husband's children that you have refused to allow come in.' I almost fainted and thought it was a joke. But I asked my husband when I got home and he replied in the affirmative. That was like a year ago, but I get irritated whenever he touches me or asks for sex. I must confess that I hate him."

Men could also be victim of this 'irritation syndrome'. "What puts me off Grace, my wife, is her fat body," confesses Greg, 38, a civil servant. "She eats everything that comes her way and she is not making any effort to trim down at all.

"I tried everything to make her see reasons why she should not be fat but she would make me realise that she was not like this before bearing my children. At the end of the day, she pushes the whole blame on me, that I criticise her, make her depressed and she seeks succour in eating. Imagine that!

"Grace is fat, flabby and fast losing colour. Last week, we were at a family function and my sisters were telling her on what to do to get her shape back, but she ignored them. Really, it irritates me seeing her naked mass of flesh. Making love to her is also a nightmare. To carry any of her thighs is a problem not to talk of rolling her over the bed. I'm scared this could break our union."

But Akin's case is not the same. "My wife suffers from flatulence and makes a joke of it. Initially, it started like a joke and we both laughed over it but at a point I got embarrassed. Why? The farting became constant and even the children knew when their mother farted. Though she had gone off decorum in front of visitors, they laughed over it too. I didn't and I have told her to stop this silly joke. Now, she confessed that she cannot help it because she has done it over the years and got accustomed to it. This puts me off and I tend to get angry at little things, which I could have overlooked," he says.
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