Hi guys..
I just thought I'd share this one with you guys about my friend Judah that went berserk after smoking weed .
Note : I'm not posting this because it's funny I just want y'all to pick one or two things outta the whole write up


1-No go dey do pass yourself

2- Stick to what works for you because life na akanuche, e work for you no mean sey e go work for uche

3- Next time you see any mad man on the street just don't establish an him village people get am some are victim of our own doing
And Lastly...
Don't do weed but if you ever gonna do it, don't try ijebu, Ife, Lagos or ekiti weed... Said my own

Here we go!!!!!!

I came back to ile-ife last week oo , was unpacking my travelling bag jeje when I heard a hard knock on the door **I thought it was my landlady's daughter coming to welcome me and to continue from where we stopped on our sexual adventures... Quickly groomed my goatee opened the door I saw Judah smiling like he saw Obama before I could say come in the bastard already jumped in throwing my stuffs outter my bag asking what I brought for him
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Luckily for him I had about 3 sticks of captain black.. Gave the baba one ooo within 2minutes he don smoke one finish , started making noise about the little or no feeling of euphoria from the captain black, I gave him the other two he was still forming macho man
(OK OK everybody sabi sey captain black "Jedi" no dey high)

After a two hour lectures on the difference between SK, MJ, CAPTAIN BLACK, TOBACC, PAWPAW...
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I was still lecturing him oo... Nigga cut me out
**you too dey talk too much make we go junction go buy weed**
I told him I don't know the place he said he was going to take me there... We agreed to Get weed if only he go gets it himself... Later that evening We came to my place so we could go out get the something... I walked him to junction sat at the Aboki shop eating my chin chin and pepsi...
Speaking the little Hausa I know with the Aboki that one was just looking at me like mumu��

Before I knew what was happening, People were shouting from the corner they sell weed, small thing what did I know baba onigbo was locking my guys shirt he was looking helpless I had to jump in to his aid
**egbon Wetin happen**
He said my guy bought weed and dint wanted to pay... Funny as it may sound but not funny if you've ever seen a lynching
One the smokers jokingly put bicycle tyres around his neck threatening to burn him

The whole scene looked funny to me, the guy came out with some stuff in a bottle thought it to be petrol... Judah was already sweating, crying and begging, calling for his mom... While all this was happening I had settled baba onigbo already.. I won't lie though my guy don shit for pant.. .them smokers freed the dude after making him look stoopid...
But can you imagine going to buy weed and not taking money he probably thought buhari paid for it already

To be honest ,I think I was happy about all that happened there especially the part he shit his pants.. He begged me not to tell my roomie about what happened I told him not a snitch but as y'all know me I'm a big snitch..
The dude wanted to follow me he with his oozing shitty pants home can you imagine?
**guy go wash yourself and come I go don wrap the weed**
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Finished wrapping the something so I decided to rest before Judah returned I was still reminiscing about what happened at the place we went to get weed when Judah started knocking my door again...
**alaye stop knocking my door with your shit hand jaare**�
Opened the door for him ooo that's how he strectched out his shitty hands for me to shake oo...
**Mad man go and shake your daddy**
He entered started looking at the weed like he was seeing pizza.

While he was waiting for me to give him the weed to smoke I gave him a piece of some the meat I brought from home went out to get lighter oo you won't believe I came back to find Judah eating the fragments and seeds of the marijuana that fell on the floor while I was wrapping it... ��‍♂this one is a human vacuum cleaner oo not a single fragments left on the floor ...I brought out 6 fat sticks of weed... Sparked it up for him��
SMOKING SESSION

From the way he was dragging and puffing I knew he was a novice when it comes to smoking within 45seconds he burnt out the weed..
**Guy you just dey waste this joint, drag am well well**
I gingered him
So I taught him how to drag and inhale properly.. I showed him how and gave him the joint to drag and inhale like I did

After dragging it right, I guess he felt it hard he made one nonsense shriek like mad monkey, dropped the weed and ran out grabbing his head as he ran... The weed scattered all over my bed and carpet so annoying but then what can I do..

**No, all of you come and see my bed and carpet with holes all over like modakeke road, how am I supposed to sleep on a bed like that ���**

Dude came back finished the remaining something ooo, that's how he started shouting that's he's hungry ooo okay I went out to cook rice came back to the room I saw something that made me believe in God I saw Judah putting dry weed into his palm and eating it like mad maalu.. I was bout washing rice oo when he started calling me that which babe can I call this night that he wants to kpansh�..That's how he started singing one Burn a boys song like that

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All my life I've never seen someone displaying lunatic behavior before.. I thought it was a joke when he asked us to follow him to ilesha on foot.. If he was quiet it would have been better oo, he was shouting like a pig bout to be slaughtered so to avoid all the whole drama and to wake the sleeping house.. We told him we would follow him to ilesha that night just to get him out of our room in case he wan die or he wan mad make e die or craze for him room

Rain started falling heavily but then I was still bent on doing anything to make him leave the room so I took him outsideThats how he started forcing his legs inside our neighbors feminine sandals ooo I was just looking at him like this when you're done with your baba sala drama sha lemme know

After the whole battle of Armageddon with iya chisoms bata, he somehow managed to get and wear his sandal after failing to the ground for the uptenth time.. So I called my roommate to help me get him down the stairs.. We sandwiched him sha trying to get him down so he don't fall down like humpty dumpty the mumu was dia shouting "leave me, leave me, fi mi le"

**Look at the fool we're trying to help Ooo**

Somehow somehow with the grace of God we succeeded in getting him down the staircase ..we headed outta our compound as we were walking in the rain back to his rented room he brought out his phone turned on the torch and put the phone back in his pocket then I knew the madness is real.. Judah was just walking like someone that just got up a wheel chair at pastor oyakhilome's revival splashing water on us as he went

Till we got to his house ehn the torch was still on, phone and everything dripping but then who gives a Bleep bout his phone... We left him right in front of his door and ran back to the path leading back to My crib... Me and my roommate were thanking God for the safe delivery oooo... Can you imagine as at 11:30 pm we were in the rain taking this buffoon home
Well what's next after a scary stressful day with Judah Wetin man go do?

**All I was thinking of was my bed and cover cloth ��‍♂��‍♂**

Oh shit that goofy fool burnt my bed na so I begin dey vex again but then the thought of not having a mad man in my room gave me that joy like when Adam ate d apple in the garden of Eden
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I dunno who asked my roommate to look back ooo he said he saw Judah storming out of his compound passing through one dark lonely path.. Arrghh ����‍♂��‍♂
Even mad people are not this mad gan.. We debated whether or not we go back get Judah or not... After bout 15mins we went to get this guy ooo I was even mad ready to slap small sense into his head

That's how we started looking for this guy ooo in the whole of modakeke, only God sabi which person house e don enter like so, it was still raining and it was almost or past 12 I told my roommate our search was over We can't be looking someone thats on his way to ilesha...��‍♂��‍♂
I dunno how one could be acting like fool after smoking just 3 sticks of igbo��
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See ehn, on our way back home we saw Judah leaning against the wall of a mud house with his hands folded, the idiot was smiling like Judas Iscariot after collecting his payment from selling Jesus.. All dis time in the rain na here this dondi dey, his phone torch was still on... But to be real here seeing that guy smiling in the dark was horrific I was certain he was mad... We carried him all the way back to his compound dropped him off and left

Dude was just lying on the floor laughing hysterically like a baby hyena after a while he stopped, started rolling on the floor dia but I made sure I searched his pocket and took his #580 ��

**Hey, I'm not a thief it's a consolation prize for making me walk around hopelessly like a hobo**

And that was it, in case you wondering what ever happened to him he's fine and he got no idea what happened to him... �