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Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? - Culture - Nairaland

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Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by CloudKickin(f): 8:19am On Oct 17, 2018
So I’m just curious to know whether some parents have that tribalist mindset. Me personally my dad is an Edo man and my mom is an Igbo woman, My boyfriend happens to be Calabar so I don’t have any issues with my parents wanting me to date a specific tribe n blah blah blah, curious to hear your thoughts and experiences smiley
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by njelrapheal: 8:22am On Oct 17, 2018
Mine is .
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Kingosytex(f): 8:26am On Oct 17, 2018
my parents are sophisticated and enlightened to be bounded by tribal sentiments.


they offer me lots of encouragement and they aint tribalistic at allllllllllll!
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Donald95(m): 8:29am On Oct 17, 2018
They warned me not to date An uneducated Hausa Fulani or Yoruba person if truly I want to live long to train my Children. Those words are gold to my ears.

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Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Donald95(m): 8:39am On Oct 17, 2018
CloudKickin:
So I’m just curious to know whether some parents have that tribalist mindset. Me personally my dad is an Edo man and my mom is an Igbo woman, My boyfriend happens to be Calabar so I don’t have any issues with my parents wanting me to date a specific tribe n blah blah blah, curious to hear your thoughts and experiences smiley

Calabar people are flirtatious. Both their man and woman. In fact, their women marry up to 3 husbands in their lifetime. If you don't hear their language, sorry nah your name everyday you come back from work, you will see new faces and when you ask him, he will say its either his Aunt or sister or brother sister or sister sister Lol. I speak based on visual experience from my neighbors wife.
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Babyforever(f): 8:44am On Oct 17, 2018
Mine is oooo I let go of my bobo because he's a Yoruba from Ibadan dude was everything a girl could ever ask for embarassed he still calls to check on me cry
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by CloudKickin(f): 9:25am On Oct 17, 2018
Donald95:


Calabar people are flirtatious. Both their man and woman. In fact, their women marry up to 3 husbands in their lifetime. If you don't hear their language, sorry nah your name everyday you come back from work, you will see new faces and when you ask him, he will say its either his Aunt or sister or brother sister or sister sister Lol. I speak based on visual experience from my neighbors wife.

Lol! Is your neighbor Calabar as well or just his wife? I’ve heard many calabar stereotypes
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by CloudKickin(f): 9:27am On Oct 17, 2018
njelrapheal:
Mine is .

Oh, how so? What tribe are you?
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by CloudKickin(f): 9:31am On Oct 17, 2018
Kingosytex:
my parents are sophisticated and enlightened to bounded by tribal sentiments.


they offer me lots of encouragement and they aint tribalistic at allllllllllll!

That’s good to hear, more power to your parents!
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by njelrapheal: 11:34am On Oct 17, 2018
CloudKickin:


Oh, how so? What tribe are you?
am igbo, its not necessarily about dating but marriage. my dad told me specifically to come back home and get a wife. lol
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by catwalq(f): 12:11pm On Oct 17, 2018
My parents are gold. They let us be with whoever we want. They are both tiv.
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Nobody: 6:55pm On Oct 17, 2018
Whether my parents encourage it or not, I don't see my self marrying outside my ethnicity.

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Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by morpheus24: 7:31pm On Oct 17, 2018
CloudKickin:
So I’m just curious to know whether some parents have that tribalist mindset. Me personally my dad is an Edo man and my mom is an Igbo woman, My boyfriend happens to be Calabar so I don’t have any issues with my parents wanting me to date a specific tribe n blah blah blah, curious to hear your thoughts and experiences smiley

Op, I don't think its that easy to label such parents as "tribalists". There are several reasons parents advise their children to marry in group as opposed to outside, most of this is usually based on maintaining close cultural ties with the extended families and reducing the possibility of friction. A tribalist I assume is someone who deems his own group as superior to others and therefore discriminates based on this "superiority" complex

In my experience most southerners do not display this type of tribalism as such, I see more of this attitude from Northern groups in terms of Religion and ethnicity than Southerners.
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Investbrooker: 7:41pm On Oct 17, 2018
My parents don't need to tell me before I know what is right or wrong. I am Yoruba and i don't support intertribal marraiges. People should marry from their tribe to preserve their culture, language and unique DNA.

Only people without fore sights marry people from other tribes. Why will someone marry a woman from another tribe when you know the risks involved? Your kids will be "mixed blood" and not full blood!!! They won't align with your tribe alone so why risk it? They will grow up confused and not know where they should align. They won't appreciate your tribe like you do. I have seen kids from different tribe and believe me you can differentiate them from full blood. Only a fool will see this and choose to ignore.

I will never allow my child to marry a non Yoruba. If he/she do, I will disown such bastard.
Intertribal marraige is bullshyte.
Marry from your tribe.
Just my honest opinion

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Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by CloudKickin(f): 9:08pm On Oct 17, 2018
Investbrooker:
My parents don't need to tell me before I know what is right or wrong. I am Yoruba and i don't support intertribal marraiges. People should marry from their tribe to preserve their culture, language and unique DNA.

Only people without fore sights marry people from other tribes. Why will someone marry a woman from another tribe when you know the risks involved? Your kids will be "mixed blood" and not full blood!!! They won't align with your tribe alone so why risk it? They will grow up confused and not know where they should align. They won't appreciate your tribe like you do. I have seen kids from different tribe and believe me you can differentiate them from full blood. Only a fool will see this and choose to ignore.

I will never allow my child to marry a non Yoruba. If he/she do, I will disown such bastard.
Intertribal marraige is bullshyte.
Marry from your tribe.
Just my honest opinion

So as far as your concerned I’m “mixed blood” and therefore confused due to my mixed tribe background? Hmm very archaic of you.

I’ve never been confused about where I come from, I am an Edo woman with an Igbo mother, I have embraced both sides equally and I can speak and understand both languages so honestly there’s no confusion on my part and all that talk about cultural identity being lost is bullshit wink

My honest opinion too
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by AtaniWarrior: 12:27am On Oct 18, 2018
Yes lol
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by ZIMDRILL(m): 3:00am On Oct 18, 2018
Investbrooker:
My parents don't need to tell me before I know what is right or wrong. I am Yoruba and i don't support intertribal marraiges. People should marry from their tribe to preserve their culture, language and unique DNA.

Only people without fore sights marry people from other tribes. Why will someone marry a woman from another tribe when you know the risks involved? Your kids will be "mixed blood" and not full blood!!! They won't align with your tribe alone so why risk it? They will grow up confused and not know where they should align. They won't appreciate your tribe like you do. I have seen kids from different tribe and believe me you can differentiate them from full blood. Only a fool will see this and choose to ignore.

I will never allow my child to marry a non Yoruba. If he/she do, I will disown such bastard.
Intertribal marraige is bullshyte.
Marry from your tribe.
Just my honest opinion

we are all entitled to our self beliefs and wishes and i respect yours though i got questions for you so you would talk a look from a different point of view

1 are you rich becoz u married a your own tribe or just your own gifted talent ?

2 this pour blood thing!! do you get paid more at work becoz of having the pour blood ? do you have better life becoz of that ?

3 kids get confused if parents are confused,

4 you want to stick to what you know becoz you dont want to learn what is outside your comfort zone

5 you see most conflicts in African they start from mind set, we are so rooted to tribes instead of embracing to say you nigerian, then embrace yo tribe, and embrace others culture

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Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by CloudKickin(f): 1:25pm On Oct 18, 2018
Tushkito:
Whether my parents encourage it or not, I don't see my self marrying outside my ethnicity.

Interesting, what about for example picture this scenario, you meet a woman and you fall in love with her (I’m talking she is your soulmate type of love) BUT she is not Igbo, would you end things so that you can avoid it leading to marriage?
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Nobody: 3:59pm On Oct 18, 2018
CloudKickin:


Interesting, what about for example picture this scenario, you meet a woman and you fall in love with her (I’m talking she is your soulmate type of love) BUT she is not Igbo, would you end things so that you can avoid it leading to marriage?

I don't fall in love that easily.

if I ever meet someone am interested in, I'd like to know her ethnicity first and if she not igbo, I'll look the other way without blinking.

It's better safe than sorry.
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Investbrooker: 4:59pm On Oct 18, 2018
ZIMDRILL:


we are all entitled to our self beliefs and wishes and i respect yours though i got questions for you so you would talk a look from a different point of view
4 you want to stick to what you know becoz you dont want to learn what is outside your comfort zone

5 you see most conflicts in African they start from mind set, we are so rooted to tribes instead of embracing to say you nigerian, then embrace yo tribe, and embrace others culture
I dont give a damn about Nigeria. Nigeria is an artificial creation, but my tribe is not. I can never ever accept any person from my family to marry outside their tribe.
Intertribal marraige is bullshyte.

I stick to what i believe in. That is my business. Let me also say that if my child is to marry a lady, and the lady's mother isnt Yoruba, I will never approve the marraige. The girl's parents must both be Yoruba by tribe.

Na my life

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Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Investbrooker: 5:04pm On Oct 18, 2018
CloudKickin:


So as far as your concerned I’m “mixed blood” and therefore confused due to my mixed tribe background? Hmm very archaic of you.

I’ve never been confused about where I come from, I am an Edo woman with an Igbo mother, I have embraced both sides equally and I can speak and understand both languages so honestly there’s no confusion on my part and all that talk about cultural identity being lost is bullshit wink

My honest opinion too
Actually, you are confused. You can't be Edo and sane time be ibo. What if there is conflict between both sides? Who will you support?

I have said my mind already. Intertribal marraige is bullshyte. Marry from your tribe so you won't regret it in the future. Marry from your tribe to keep your blood pure.

The best thing is to marry from your tribe. I can never my kids marry a non Yoruba.

Call me a tribalist, I dont care

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Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by ZIMDRILL(m): 5:13pm On Oct 18, 2018
Investbrooker:

I dont give a damn about Nigeria. Nigeria is an artificial creation, but my tribe is not. I can never ever accept any person from my family to marry outside their tribe.
Intertribal marraige is bullshyte.

I stick to what i believe in. That is my business. Let me also say that if my child is to marry a lady, and the lady's mother isnt Yoruba, I will never approve the marraige. The girl's parents must both be Yoruba by tribe.

Na my life

i respect your view if they make you happy then am happy for you
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by ariesbull: 7:05pm On Oct 18, 2018
CloudKickin:


So as far as your concerned I’m “mixed blood” and therefore confused due to my mixed tribe background? Hmm very archaic of you.

I’ve never been confused about where I come from, I am an Edo woman with an Igbo mother, I have embraced both sides equally and I can speak and understand both languages so honestly there’s no confusion on my part and all that talk about cultural identity being lost is bullshit wink

My honest opinion too

You are just a percent...the rest are confused ..I would never allow my kids to bring non Igbo

Period....I am not tribalistic but Igbo centric
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by CloudKickin(f): 10:57pm On Oct 18, 2018
Investbrooker:

Actually, you are confused. You can't be Edo and sane time be ibo. What if there is conflict between both sides? Who will you support?

I have said my mind already. Intertribal marraige is bullshyte. Marry from your tribe so you won't regret it in the future. Marry from your tribe to keep your blood pure.

The best thing is to marry from your tribe. I can never my kids marry a non Yoruba.

Call me a tribalist, I dont care

Lol you seem bitter but ok mr tribalist on his one man crusade for “pure blood”.
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by druxlazu: 11:34pm On Oct 20, 2018
I am. Yoruba too but I was born here in the North. I can't speak the language infact but my hard core Yoruba which I believe is common to all Yoruba. Inter marriage is very bad and I will think about marrying anybody outside Yoruba too.

I use to plan in the future that I might married a Fulani or Hausa or Nupe woman but more especially Fulani (I am a Muslim) but I pondered for a long while that this is not going to work for me. I can't marry a woman just for love, I have to consider the type of children that we will breed.

It is part of life that almost everybody want to meet with his own class, this means If i have a good standard of living and well educated, I will want to marry somebody of that class. Hell no, even if I am giving 20 women of my class outside Yoruba. I will rather go and marry a poor or the poorest Yoruba woman.

Black people believe we are the same but I will never believe we are the same not because of language or dressing but our blood is completely different. I will not married somebody to breed me a human I am not unlikely to understand.


Things for me that makes core (I am not talking about those that speak the language but those with the real blood ) Yoruba people standout ( I have disgust for bastards, you just don't know what type of human they are.)

1. They are instinctively and primitively good people but very allergic to bastards (I mean people who spoil other people just like pathogens)

2. They have time and time again forgive and forget that you have done bad to them.

3. The people with the most Godly attributes such as kindness, trust, Mercy.

4. Like making pranks but not in the sense of trying to goad people while other ethnic people will start getting rage.

5. Of all the hard core Yoruba people I know which I can easily identify not by language but behavior. They are the softiest and hate fighting at all cost not because they don't have intelligence or strength but primitively they know it means nothing.

6. Yoruba people are called treacherous but never will I call my people such. I know why and I will tell why, When I am your best friend, you cannot expect me to be anymore when you decide what could be considered naturally evil.

7. They don't take orders if their primitive mind tells them the order they are giving to do something is evil.

The above characteristics can be found in real Yoruba people not bastards who do not even know they are bastards. Beside, I know how to identify a half Yoruba blood and full hard core Yoruba people.

Again, If my child will be dullest (if it ever happened) in the world but have all what can be considered Godly attributes without anything evil like cunning, sneaking, back bitting, gossiping, following bastards and bad people who corrupt the world and have no purpose in this world except destruction. I will surely be satisfied completely

1 Like

Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by gregyboy(m): 5:03pm On Oct 23, 2018
My parents dont really tell what tribe to marry from but d probs is am always meeting igbo gals both male and famale all my galfriends have been igbos and am a full blooded benin boy who stays in benin in all dis i still wanna marry a Benin lady but d way fate is playing i might end up wit igbos
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Nobody: 7:16pm On Oct 24, 2018
gregyboy:
My parents dont really tell what tribe to marry from but d probs is am always meeting igbo gals both male and famale all my galfriends have been igbos and am a full blooded benin boy who stays in benin in all dis i still wanna marry a Benin lady but d way fate is playing i might end up wit igbos

You better not, marry from ur tribe abeg
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by gregyboy(m): 7:24pm On Oct 24, 2018
Lol....d irony in life is tribalism dont pay.....it would be dsame igbos u defend would conspire to betray u ....tribalism doesn't pay it only hurt

1 Like

Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by ZIMDRILL(m): 12:56am On Oct 25, 2018
druxlazu:
I am. Yoruba too but I was born here in the North. I can't speak the language infact but my hard core Yoruba which I believe is common to all Yoruba. Inter marriage is very bad and I will think about marrying anybody outside Yoruba too.

I use to plan in the future that I might married a Fulani or Hausa or Nupe woman but more especially Fulani (I am a Muslim) but I pondered for a long while that this is not going to work for me. I can't marry a woman just for love, I have to consider the type of children that we will breed.

It is part of life that almost everybody want to meet with his own class, this means If i have a good standard of living and well educated, I will want to marry somebody of that class. Hell no, even if I am giving 20 women of my class outside Yoruba. I will rather go and marry a poor or the poorest Yoruba woman.

Black people believe we are the same but I will never believe we are the same not because of language or dressing but our blood is completely different. I will not married somebody to breed me a human I am not unlikely to understand.


Things for me that makes core (I am not talking about those that speak the language but those with the real blood ) Yoruba people standout ( I have disgust for bastards, you just don't know what type of human they are.)

1. They are instinctively and primitively good people but very allergic to bastards (I mean people who spoil other people just like pathogens)

2. They have time and time again forgive and forget that you have done bad to them.

3. The people with the most Godly attributes such as kindness, trust, Mercy.

4. Like making pranks but not in the sense of trying to goad people while other ethnic people will start getting rage.

5. Of all the hard core Yoruba people I know which I can easily identify not by language but behavior. They are the softiest and hate fighting at all cost not because they don't have intelligence or strength but primitively they know it means nothing.

6. Yoruba people are called treacherous but never will I call my people such. I know why and I will tell why, When I am your best friend, you cannot expect me to be anymore when you decide what could be considered naturally evil.

7. They don't take orders if their primitive mind tells them the order they are giving to do something is evil.

The above characteristics can be found in real Yoruba people not bastards who do not even know they are bastards. Beside, I know how to identify a half Yoruba blood and full hard core Yoruba people.

Again, If my child will be dullest (if it ever happened) in the world but have all what can be considered Godly attributes without anything evil like cunning, sneaking, back bitting, gossiping, following bastards and bad people who corrupt the world and have no purpose in this world except destruction. I will surely be satisfied completely

we all have our believes,

but do you tthat there is nothing called pour blood but self entitlement, what you call pour blood is choosin someone from either same believes and culture

there is no DNA which ID tribe i.e identify to say this DNA is of yoruba, fulani igbo etc

every man & woman has her own DNA genes she passes on to the child whether

tribes are born out power struggle or separation of geographical location, therefore ways of life would be different

all things like class in society has nothing to do pour blood or dna but association by common things you choose among yourself, churches are good example, they all pray the same god, but we got so many churches you think the number of churches is equal to the number of gods No

it is association by common likings, beliefs and goal so beliefs differ from group to group person to person

lasstly your beliefs are yours entitled to you and those who see same goals as you, like you said you are a muslim but not by pour blood but by a belief of islam faith

my point is what we called pour blood is association by a common thing eg yourself marrying a woman from you tribe, the same with kings they marry people from noble families i.e people who very rich like them and with history of being noble family
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by Nobody: 7:52am On Oct 25, 2018
gregyboy:
Lol....d irony in life is tribalism dont pay.....it would be dsame igbos u defend would conspire to betray u ....tribalism doesn't pay it only hurt

I am igbo, and am telling u not to marry outside ur tribe, it breeds confusion.
Re: Are Your Parents Tribalist About Who You Date? by gregyboy(m): 8:21am On Oct 25, 2018
Tushkito:


I am igbo, and am telling u not to marry outside ur tribe, it breeds confusion.


It breeds unity.... U would tell me not marry from ur family not Igbo i see nothing special with all this tribes in nigeria but u wanna take igbo esteem d day igbo would betray dat day u would stop trabilism

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