There are the co-workers who are constantly interrupting you in meetings. There are the ones who don’t seem to pull their weight. And there are even the ones who blast their music or chew their gum at the loudest possible volume.

Whatever their annoying habits, these co-workers obviously aren’t all that self-aware. After all, if they knew how much of a nuisance they were, they might actually be embarrassed and put an end to their obnoxious behaviors.



Of course, you’re not one to be blunt in these scenarios. Speaking up to a co-worker who’s annoying or disruptive isn’t just a courageous act—it’s a risk in itself. It can either go over well or backfire on you, or—in the case of someone who’s not in tune with themselves—your feedback just doesn’t stick.

So how can you ensure your comment both resonates and is received positively by a not-so-self-aware colleague? Here are four rules to follow.

1. You Have to Be Super Clear
Since this person is already way behind you in terms of awareness, you have to work extra hard to explain clearly what they’re doing.

Look, this isn’t always easy. But tiptoeing around the real problem only means that the person on the receiving end is either confused, misinformed, or insulted.



So, before you chat with them, get really clear on what exactly they’re doing that’s driving you nuts. Is it what they’re saying or how they’re saying it? Is it something they always do—or only in certain situations? And, is it a habit that they can correct, or is it something that’s out of their hands?

2. You Have to Give Context
Part of how humans best process information is context.

Context makes things easier to remember. Can you remember what you wore last Thursday? Probably not. But if I asked you what you wore last Thursday when you were at a bar with your friends playing pool, you could probably easily recall what your outfit looked like.



Also, context helps explain the “why.” When you tell someone why what they’re doing is bothering you, distracting you, or insulting you, it carries more weight. Sure, you can tell someone to stop talking so loudly around your desk. But, if you tell them that their volume is preventing you from finishing that important report due tomorrow, they may have more empathy and actually turn it down a notch.

Give the person something to work with when delivering whatever feedback you have. When and where were they doing said habit? What was going on at the time? Why did it affect you in this specific way?

3. You Have to Do it Nicely
One, because this person really isn’t meaning to do what they’re doing. As author Julia Chang of LearnVest states, “Most people want to vilify low-EQ co-workers, but don’t fault them for skills they don’t have.”

Be the bigger person and assume that your co-worker is truly well-intentioned and not deliberately trying to drive you up a wall.

Two, because niceness always pays off in the end. You know how I said earlier that addressing a not-so-self-aware co-worker can backfire? That’s a lot more likely to happen if you do it in a condescending or rude way.

Let’s put these first three points together. For example, let’s say your co-worker is a bit too chatty at the desks. You might approach it in the following way:

Hey David! I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second. While I love chatting with you at our desks—I could literally spend hours talking about dog tweets like we did yesterday—I’ve been really struggling to finish this article that’s due Friday. I personally have a hard time not getting distracted by what everyone’s talking about around me, so I need to call in a small favor: Whenever you want to chat with our team about non-work stuff, could you move to the kitchen or Slack, or pop by toward the end of the day?

4. You Have to Recognize Their Efforts and Hold Them Accountable
It’s possible the first time you say something it still won’t resonate. If that’s the case, a simple poke reminding them of your talk can work wonders:

“Just wanted to remind you that I’d appreciate it if you could keep the talking to a minimum at the desks!”

or

“Thanks again for listening to my concerns about being interrupted in last week’s meeting. I think your idea was great and I hope we can both throw ideas out there without having to talk over each other!”

But if they’ve already made moves to improve, don’t forget to acknowledge that. Change doesn’t happen overnight—if that chronic interrupter only jumped in once or twice in your latest meeting as opposed to every time, that’s a step in the right direction. Recognize that their effort makes a huge difference for you and isn’t going unnoticed. Doing so strengthens your work relationship and encourages them to keep doing better.



My final piece of advice is, if this person just isn’t budging, you may want to bring in another player—your boss or HR, for example. Because it’s entirely possible to have a co-worker who’s both oblivious and self-centered, having that extra backing gives you more authority to shut the person down.

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Me na to knee down pray for you

Did you think this out on your own or you took it from somewhere else? Acknowledge the right of others to their intellectual property at all times, please.

FTC

Ppl no won comment??

D most annoying set of people to work with ar afonja.they ar always looking for any slightest opportunity to betray u or sabotage ur work.am talking 4rm experience and please al u out there,never trust an afonja colleague.

Galaticos444:
D most annoying set of people to work with ar afonja.they ar always looking for any slightest opportunity to betray u or sabotage ur work.am talking 4rm experience and please al u out there,never trust an afonja colleague.

Probably you've been trying to commit fraud in your workplace and that so called Afonja burst your bubble, because I don't understand how betrayal comes to workplace are you planning an evil with that Afonja that the Afonja refuse to carry out with you? Work on yourself and let others do theirs too

Galaticos444:
D most annoying set of people to work with ar afonja.they ar always looking for any slightest opportunity to betray u or sabotage ur work.am talking 4rm experience and please al u out there,never trust an afonja colleague.

I guess you were involved in some shady deals or want to sell company properties. You are definitely doing something unethical hence the fear for your afonja colleague.

Come clean, be plain, avoid criminal activities and you won't be suspicious of anyone including the afonja colleague

Galaticos444:
D most annoying set of people to work with ar afonja.they ar always looking for any slightest opportunity to betray u or sabotage ur work.am talking 4rm experience and please al u out there,never trust an afonja colleague.

I enjoy posts from NCAN members, I really do ! but I think anyone sensible should be able to comport himself and act responsibly even while trying to be funny..
What has brought about afonja or Igbo into a discourse like this??We have to realize that the way we act shows our level of maturity and sanity. Overdoing sth or trying to be funny when you're not is just outrightly exhibiting your height of doltishness.
I'm sure even the NCAN members would be disappointed at this ignominious act.

PS: I'm Igbo,just in case someone wants to quote me for which I may never really be giving a reply

Galaticos444:
D most annoying set of people to work with ar afonja.they ar always looking for any slightest opportunity to betray u or sabotage ur work.am talking 4rm experience and please al u out there,never trust an afonja colleague.

You've been noticed, oya crawl back into your cage.

Derawiz:


I enjoy posts from NCAN members, I really do ! but I think anyone sensible should be able to comport himself and act responsibly even while trying to be funny..
What has brought about afonja or Igbo into a discourse like this??We have to realize that the way we act shows our level of maturity and sanity. Overdoing sth or trying to be funny when you're not is just outrightly exhibiting your height of doltishness.
I'm sure even the NCAN members would be disappointed at this ignominious act.

PS: I'm Igbo,just in case someone wants to quote me for which I may never really be giving a reply

read my post again and stop looking for relevance.i said am talking 4rm xpereience.jst last week a file came in for me to treat but dis Yoruba guy hide d file so dat i will b indicted but unfortunately 4him he was xposed

omooba969:


You've been noticed, oya crawl back into your cage.

u av b noticed; crawl back into ur shrine and continue with ur skull mining

Galaticos444:
D most annoying set of people to work with ar afonja.they ar always looking for any slightest opportunity to betray u or sabotage ur work.am talking 4rm experience and please al u out there,never trust an afonja colleague.

Respect yourself dumb fellow

Galaticos444:
read my post again and stop looking for relevance.i said am talking 4rm xpereience.jst last week a file came in for me to treat but dis Yoruba guy hide d file so dat i will b indicted but unfortunately 4him he was xposed

.

Have you heard about what is called Hasty Generalization in psychology?
You don't generalise People based on a person act.
Hasty Generalization is one of the factors destroying this Nation..

you should inquire from the guy and let him know you better.

Galaticos444:
u av b noticed; crawl back into ur shrine and continue with ur skull mining

When you guys are not allowed to perpetuate your dubious business you call it treachery, you call it betrayal.

Meanwhile, your skull is next... I need it.

johnnyn1:
.

Have you heard about what is called Hasty Generalization in psychology?
You don't generalise People based on a person act.
Hasty Generalization is one of the factors destroying this Nation..

you should inquire from the guy and let him know you better.

Galaticos444 knows what he's doing, he's a rogue himself - simple.

My Afonja brother must have cornered his dubious tendencies.

[quote author=Galaticos444 post=72392955][/quote]

How come the name Afonja is giving you nightmares? You failed exam its Afonja you owe your landlord its Afonja, you couldn't pay the conductor on your way back from work it's Afonja, you were sacked for committing fraud in the office its Afonja. Just don't commit suicide because of Afonja

Galaticos444:
read my post again and stop looking for relevance.i said am talking 4rm xpereience.jst last week a file came in for me to treat but dis Yoruba guy hide d file so dat i will b indicted but unfortunately 4him he was xposed

Story story....storrrryyyyy!

I can see the Afonja really hates you for no reason - wow wicked afonja!

You forgot to end your story on what punishment was meted out to that imaginary Afonja who hid your ofe-nsala file.

Omo ìran-kíran, oníranù.

skies:


I guess you were involved in some shady deals or want to sell company properties. You are definitely doing something unethical hence the fear for your afonja colleague.

Come clean, be plain, avoid criminal activities and you won't be suspicious of anyone including the afonja colleague

Lol Buahahahahaha

rhektor:


How come the name Afonja is giving you nightmares? You failed exam its Afonja you owe your landlord its Afonja, you couldn't pay the conductor on your way back from work it's Afonja, you were sacked for committing fraud in the office its Afonja. Just don't commit suicide because of Afonja

unlike u,I don't do conductor and unlike u I cant commit suicide cos am living d gud life

[quote author=Galaticos444 post=72390380]D most annoying set of people to work with ar afonja.they ar always looking for any slightest opportunity to betray u or sabotage ur work.am talking 4rm experience and please al u out there,never trust an afonja colleague.[/quote



Developers, so you wan develop the company through your shady ways but my fellow Afonja dey tackle your flat head,

Your fellow developers dey go Cambodia every day, but na local scam you wan run

the ones that think everything is a competition with them

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Galaticos444:
unlike u,I don't do conductor and unlike u I cant commit suicide cos am living d gud life

Delusional good life. You're living a good life yet Afonja has been giving you a lot of sleepless nights. Continue in your good life

rhektor:



Delusional good life. You're living a good life yet Afonja has been giving you a lot of sleepless nights. Continue in your good life

u jst told d whole world d kind of life u live.struggling to pay ur house rent,fighting with a conductor over change now I know why u ar so pain and frustrated

Galaticos444:
u jst told d whole world d kind of life u live.struggling to pay ur house rent,fighting with a conductor over change now I know why u ar so pain and frustrated

Yes I am struggling to pay my bills I don't live a fake life, but I am very different from you because I don't blame others for whatever happens to me. I am not like you that will blame people who never allow you to commit crime, your colleague don't know that crime is in your DNA. It is your way of life if not you won't be talking about betrayal in the office. A thief like you will soon ruin the company if not for your Afonja colleague you would have destroyed the company in a long time. What an ethically bankrupt fellow!

rhektor:



Yes I am struggling to pay my bills I don't live a fake life, but I am very different from you because I don't blame others for whatever happens to me. I am not like you that will blame people who never allow you to commit crime, your colleague don't know that crime is in your DNA. It is your way of life if not you won't be talking about betrayal in the office. A thief like you will soon ruin the company if not for your Afonja colleague you would have destroyed the company in a long time. What an ethically bankrupt fellow!

u finally borrowed data to chat,pls lay ur frustration on buhari I can only pray for tins to get better 4u