enjoy,



What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball ?

Juan on Juan.


What is a Yankee ?

the same as a quickie,but a guy can do it alone.


Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife ?

45 lbs.


Whats the difference between a boyfriend and husband ?

45 minutes.


Whats the fastest way to a mans heart ?

through his chest with a sharp knife.


Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring,and good-looking ?

because those men already have boyfriends.


what did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant ?

are you sure its mine.


Where does an irish family go on vacation ?

a different bar.


Did you hear about the chinese couple that had a retarded baby ?

they named him "sum ting wong".

okay here is another one



Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.I've been a
good man to you for seven years,and I have nothing to show
for it.These last two weeks have been hell.Your boss called to tell me that you
had quit your job today,and that was the last straw.Last week,you come
home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,cooked your
favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.You came home
and ate in two minutes,then went straight to sleep after watching all of your
soaps.You don't tell me you love me anymore,you don't want sex anymore or
anything.Either you're cheating on me,or you don't love me anymore.
Whatever the case is,I'm gone.

YOUR EX-HUSBAND

P.S. Don't try to find me.Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
together ! Have a great life !
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
griping.Too bad that doesn't work.I did notice when you got a hair cut last
week.The first thing that came to mind was,"you look just like an idiot ! " but my
mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice.And when
you cooked my favorite meal,you must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER,because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the
price tag was still on them.I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
unemployed sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning,
And your silk boxers were $49.99.

After all of this,I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.So,when I
discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,I quit my job and bought
us two tickets to Jamaica.But when I got home you were gone.Everything
happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the fullfilling life you always wanted.My lawyer said with your
letter that you wrote,you won't get a dime form me.

So take care.
Signed Rich and Free !
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla,my sister,was born Carl.I
hope that's not a problem,

okay, just one more