Tribute to my Father on his 68 Post humous Birthday



What moves through us is a silence, a quiet sadness, a longing for one more day, one more word, one more touch.



We may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived.



And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget"
The blow was hard and the shock was severe. We never dreamed your death was so near. But only those who love, can tell the pain of parting without farewell.



No one can ever imagine what it means losing you. To hear your voice, here you laugh and say you forgot it was your Birthday, to see your smile, to sit and talk with you awhile, to be together in the same old way, would be our dearest wish today, but loving memories never die.



As weeks roll on and days go by, in our hearts, a memory is kept of the one we love and will never forget.



You were the one who informed us late December 2017 to expect you January 2018, your siblings, nephews, nieces, members of his enlarged family, friends, relatives, children and wife, shared joy to welcome you back home.



We had the least premonition that you would give up in ten years to come. We never expected that your herald home coming would be in death.



The grievous aspect was that you transited the same weekend you were to leave Chad for your home town, 4 years after your last visit.

It's a sad event too many to bear.
My Great Father!



Ozuronye Donatus !
Okpara Chukwumezirim Nwokeya Agbaghozo!
Otunwa juru ulo!
Otu onye a-na ekwere unu abiala!
Osisi ukwu chere ezin'ulo!



Chaina! As you were fondly called by your brothers, you were the unifier, peacemaker, you affected people of all ages, you contributed in changing lives, you shared experiences and to me, you were an experience.



The exit was so abrupt: what was the urgency?
It's been said that "Every life entails a special story".



Every human being has something special to offer. Some people are a treasure for the world because their efforts make a big difference in changing someone’s life. It is only when such people part ways from this world, we realize that the world suffers from a deficit.



Unfortunately, when we lose a loved one, we realize the catastrophe, the void created in your life by their absence especially when it is your very own parents.



Daddy! I cannot help but recall our far, yet close relationship, revise the memories you made of your little time with us; it all becomes a kaleidoscopic rupture in my mind.



I always said I honestly don’t know what I would do without you two, but now I have to learn to live without one of you.



My Father never made a fortune, or a noise In the world where men are seeking after fame; But he had a healthy brood of children, nieces and nephews, siblings and relatives, in-laws and friends who loved the very ground on which he trod.



Oh! you should have heard the way they wept for his absence.
There seemed to be a loving little prayer In their voices, even when they were soaked in tears at his graveside.



Though My Dad was never heard of anywhere, As a hero, yet somehow understood he was doing well his part and making good;
And you knew it, by the way his family and friends have felt.



He gave them neither eminence nor wealth, But he gave them blood untainted with a vice, And opulence of undiluted love.
He was honest, and unpurchable and kind; He was clean in heart, and body, and in mind. So he made them heirs to riches without price.



My father never preached or scolded; and the rod, well, he used it as a turning pole in play.
He showed the tender sympathy to all he calls his children in their troubles, and their joys.



He was always chum and comrade with his nephews, and his nieces,
oh! you ought to hear them all echo him Daddy! Big Daddy!! None knew him as Uncle!



He was a giant man, full of fun and laughter, He played jokes on his fellow men. And to him it did not matter.



Education he had not, But the native intelligence he learned he never forgot.
He showed loved to all he knew that came his way; so that someday, there will be an answer.



As i look back over time, I find myself wondering …..



Did i remember to thank you enough
For all you have done for me?
For all the times you were by my side
To help and support me..
To celebrate my success
To understand my problems
And accept my defeats?
Or for teaching me by your example,
The value of hard work, good judgment,
Courage and integrity?



You made me realize that i had to soar high like an eagle, I had to be very strong and confident to hold my head high in our Society with its diverse Cultural beliefs and inequality which cut across social strata, gender and Religion.



I wonder if i ever thanked you for the sacrifices you made, to let me have the very best?
And for the simple things like laughter, smiles and times we shared?
If i have forgotten to show my gratitude enough for all the things you did, I am thanking you now.



And i am hoping you knew all along, How much you meant to me.
I’ll always remember that special smile, that caring heart, that warm embrace, you always gave me,



You being there for Mom and my siblings, and everyone of your family, through good and bad times, no matter what.



We’ll always remember you Dad! because there ’ll never be another one to replace you in my heart, and the love we will always have for you.



Today was the day so many years ago you came into this world, bringing a special glow.



So full of love and laughter so loud. Thinking of you today, You still make us proud.



Daddy, I know you're watching, I know your looking down.



Yes your birthday is today, And although you're not around, It doesn't stop our thoughts and never stops our prayers.
I am sending birthday wishes to you from here to the land of my ancestors which you have become one of them.



Please Dad!, send my regards to my other ancestors, the daughters of my birth place, the good spirits of my birthland and all who had in one way or another connection to me.



Daddy! Rest on, in Power
Ihai!!!!!!!
Iseee!

viewers discretion!
Injected with 6litres of formalin to retain the ice and preserve it for the long journey from Chad to Nigeria

The last respect and songs of service at his residence In Chad

His corpse let Chad for his hometown,
My Dad last visited Nigeria January 24th 2014, and traveled back with his legs and came back home after 4 years in a coffin

prettyblacky:
viewers discretion!
Injected with 6litres of formalin to retain the ice and preserve it for the long journey from Chad to Nigeria

With due respect miss,don't you have respect for your dad.ease remove this pic of him you posted here.
Give the man some f**king respect for Chris sake

His kinsmen gathered for their rites.


The Umu -Ama - Ogwugwu kindred gathered to pay their last respect to one of their own,
The same day, my brother killed the goat.
it's is called Igbu ewu isi na ama.

This tradition is an aged tradition of my people, Though the church is trying to abolish it, but truly, it backfires.

Instead of performing it on the day of burial our people choose to do so, the very day the kindred will pay their last respect

For Men who have no male children, if the daughters are capable, they give the kindred money for the goat or the deceased siblings give out the money or the goat and the name of the deceased will be mentioned as to why the goat or what the goat stands for.

A cow was also given to the Amala, the custodian of our culture, in as much as my Dad had given to his late father, it is necessary to make available cow and also mention what the cow stands for.

It is not mandatory but necessary as long as the family can afford it.
Sometimes this is suspended till when the children of the deceased are up and doing. but they should make sure they don't partake in the sharing of the cow meat in any burial until they had settled theirs.

My only brother who is 12 years old, performing the Igbu Ewu isi na Ama rite while my Dad's immediate younger brother assist him.

A very brave and courageous young man he is.

People gathered to admire his courage, After that, The elders will give him seat to sit down in their midst and they give him gifts of cash,

It is a Mark of welcoming him into Manhood
He is the apparent head and representative of my father.

At the end of the rites, he was handed over to the my uncle who is the next after my father in the family lineage, to take proper care of him by my father's kinsmen

My father's Age grade also came for their own,
They usually give certain amount of money to support the burial, and in fact they own the burial,

After the burial, They gather at the grave side to bid him farewell and renounce his membership with them on earth and ask him to continue with their mates in the spirit realm.

After the rite They gathered my Uncles and handed the Elderest , my brother's hand and ask him to take care of him as he would do to his sons, They also told him that where he can't handle, he should invite them without hesitation.

The daughters of our my birth place, We called them Umuokpu, some villages call them UmuAda, both married and single gather as well for their own rite

The family provides them with a big tin of milk and Milo with 2big loaves of bread, a big bowl they will use to make the tea and drink it,

I as the first daughter was to cook soup which they will come and check my ability and score me, my father's Elderest cousin who was the leader of the Umuokpu said her brother didn't die at the ripeful age and as such no one will ever trouble us,

My fathers maternal uncles were also here for their own.
They were the ones to point where their nephew was to be buried, we call it Ima mgbazu

After that my brother was given a bottle of schnapps and a little money to give them, My father's uncles said that they can't accept money from him, that he should keep it but took the drink

The youths came 3days to the burial in their numbers and cleared everywhere including the paths to the town halls and our compound,

They also were there to dig the grave and made sure they marched in the sand to avoid the grave sinking,

All these while, my mom was not allowed to eat food prepared for the burial, or even get close to where things for the burial was kept.
she takes her bath as early as 6am and 6 pm,

A widow prepares her food and sleeps with her in her room,
The particular seat she used was marked and no one else was allowed to sit on it else people are bad, can decide to act funny,

Her group fetched the firewood used althrough the burial,

After the burial, a certain set of women barb her hair and used certain leaf to perform some rite separating her from my dad and asking my dad to rest on while she continues to take care of us and not allow anyone use his face to frighten her both at home and in the bush path.

After these, she went to market and bought where other women buy and cook food everyone will eat.

We choose to mourn my Dad for 6months but my mom said she would mourn him 12months

It was indeed an experience itself.
I got to understand my root and it helped trace back to who I am really.


I can boldly say my Dad's death is for a reason and also for a lesson

On the burial Day, His corpse was taken to the town hall and was received by the entire village, including his age grade,

The entire Amudi Obizi gathered at Eke Amudi and Amaovu ajala to receive him and also performed their last rite and respect.

I noticed the six ancient compounds that made up our autonomous community were summoned and the elders were asked to pick each shout of schnapps and they went out each with the cups filled with schnapps and returned with empty cups

It is called Itu Mmaya (pouring libation to mother earth to receive the body of their brother.

After that
He was taken home and thereafter was laid on state at his parlour for some hours before he was taken to church and then after the service was buried at his home town with his legs facing the fence and main road and his head came into the compound

He actually buried in a difference coffin not the one that brought him back.
his nephews Who brought Him home said they met robbers on their way and the robbers pitied them and allowed them go without taking anything from them.

My Dads burial was indeed my worst experience of sorrow and night mare. Today is his post Humous birthday and ofcourse their traditional wedding anniversary.
All I have to say is
Rest in power my beloved father