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My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 2:40pm On Aug 02, 2010
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.
When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling,
-* "You Sign! You sign!"
Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder.
-* "You Sign! You sign!"
Nelson says to him,
-* "Look, you´ve obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it,the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads.
He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson´s nose, yelling,
-* "You sign! You sign!"
Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting:
-* "Look, go away! You´ve got the wrong man! I don´t want them!" Then he slams the door again.
The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again.
On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting,
-* "You sign! You sign!"
Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson Mandela loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him:
-* "Look, I don´t want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"
The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:
-* "You not Nissan Main Dealer?"
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 2:41pm On Aug 02, 2010
If you have to read it twice - Please do


Love u all.
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 2:57pm On Aug 02, 2010
One day a Mr.Joe goes to a library and asks for a book.

The beautiful librarian asks him the name of the book.

Joe says: "Psycho The rap1ist"

Librarian searches for the book for a long time, comes back, slaps Joe and says: You , It is "Psychotherapist"
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by makajibbz(m): 2:58pm On Aug 02, 2010
hehehe datz wast funniy, vewry funkny-lol grin grin
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by makajibbz(m): 2:59pm On Aug 02, 2010
blacksta:

One day a Mr.Joe goes to a library and asks for a book.

The beautiful librarian asks him the name of the book.

Joe says: "Psycho The despoiler"

Librarian searches for the book for a long time, comes back, slaps Joe and says: You , It is "Psychotherapist"
dat waz dry. embarassed
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by Dyt(f): 3:06pm On Aug 02, 2010
.
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by NaijaSisi(f): 3:26pm On Aug 02, 2010
luff em grin
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by cynthoney(f): 3:27pm On Aug 02, 2010
blacksta:

One day a Mr.Joe goes to a library and asks for a book.

The beautiful librarian asks him the name of the book.

Joe says: "Psycho The rap1ist"

Librarian searches for the book for a long time, comes back, slaps Joe and says: You , It is "Psychotherapist"

One day, a mad man(Studio) takes his hospital to Court

and the judge asks him why

Studio says: "im here to complain,i think there is partiality in my hospital"

'i dont kw y they tie me up and treat like im mad wen the main mad person is running wide and free on the streets of new york'

Judge: 'y wud u say something like that?'

Studio: "y wud somebody in his sane mind write a thing as this as joke,its either he is very insane or very mad"

'in anycase,he belongs in the hospital with me!'

After a while,the judge proclamed: 'Blacksta,for writing such atrocities as jokes and causing such commotion on nairaland, u r henceforth,banned

from posting anything on nairaland and pls,pick ur things and join Studio in the psychiatrist hospital'

CASE DISMISS!!!
wink  tongue wink
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by cynthoney(f): 3:29pm On Aug 02, 2010
1st one is nice though cheesy
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by Ben13: 4:14pm On Aug 02, 2010
blacksta:

One day a Mr.Joe goes to a library and asks for a book.

The beautiful librarian asks him the name of the book.

Joe says: "Psycho The rap1ist"

Librarian searches for the book for a long time, comes back, slaps Joe and says: You , It is "Psychotherapist"

Lol grin
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 4:19pm On Aug 02, 2010
Ben-10:

Lol grin

Long due appreciation from Oga Ben
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by sledge406: 4:21pm On Aug 02, 2010
Cynthoney, do u realise ur brain needs to be slapped. Abi must someone use jumpstarter before u reason properly
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 4:25pm On Aug 02, 2010
sledge406:

Cynthoney, do u realise your brain needs to be slapped. Abi must someone use jumpstarter before u reason properly

lol - good one - i suspect she uses one AA battery
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by cynthoney(f): 4:38pm On Aug 02, 2010
sledge406:

Cynthoney, do u realise your brain needs to be slapped. Abi must someone use jumpstarter before u reason properly

i hv told u,i dont talk to clones

tell ur original to talk to me wen u r old and faded,

toothless bulldog! tongue

blacksta:

lol - good one - i suspect she uses one AA battery


baby-fish,must u write 4 appreciations,

good or bad,jokes r jokes.

im just having a kick from your silly jokes thats all

write better ones jare

teeth like dracula tongue
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 4:43pm On Aug 02, 2010
C_honey .


Oya come for hug. I miss u too
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by cynthoney(f): 5:05pm On Aug 02, 2010
<hugs him grudgingly>

but i dont miss u,

wat do we do abt that? wink
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 7:39pm On Aug 02, 2010
^
grin
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by Nobody: 8:11pm On Aug 02, 2010
Funny! Blacksta, keep it up. smiley
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 8:22pm On Aug 02, 2010
Eyah:

Funny! Blacksta, keep it up. smiley

E se oooo
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 9:39am On Aug 12, 2010
A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $7.50

“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes $5.

“What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor.

“First you give me $10 every day, then $7,50 and now only $5. What’s the problem?”

“Well,” the man says, “last year my eldest son went to university. It’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further.”

“And how many children do you have?” the beggar asks.

“Four,” the man replies.

“Well,” says the beggar, “I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense.”
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by Okijajuju1(m): 9:43am On Aug 12, 2010
^^ I actually smiled.

Congrats.

I rate your joke 6/10 grin
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 9:46am On Aug 12, 2010
One day Jesus was walking by the pearly gates when St. Peter asked him to watch the gates for a few minutes. Jesus agreed and in a few minutes he saw an old, old man approach. He walked very slowly, had a halting gait, and long white hair and beard.

“How did you spend your life on earth my son?” asked Jesus.

“I was a simple carpenter for sixty years” replied the old man.

“And what do you hope to find here in heaven” asked Jesus.

“I hope to find my son” said the man

“Well there are millions upon millions of people here, how will you find him?”

“I’ll recognize him by the nail holes in his hands and feet,” states the old man.

Jesus does a double take, thinks for a moment and says,

“Father

The old man looks at Jesus and says, “Pinocchio?”
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by makajibbz(m): 10:02am On Aug 12, 2010
2/10, at-least my tongue moved. undecided
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by Okijajuju1(m): 10:14am On Aug 12, 2010
Makajibbz!! Oya run commot for here!! angry angry

Which dey wey you go law school, talkless of to turn Judge?!
You still be puppie for here. Na only elders dey judge joke.

You are only allowed to crack not judge Jokes. this na your last warning.

@ Blacksta

I go give you 1/10 for attempt.
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by makajibbz(m): 11:32am On Aug 12, 2010
angry pre-mature herbalist, free me
i'm doing me. cool
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by EfemenaXY: 2:39pm On Aug 12, 2010
blacksta:

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $7.50

“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes $5.

“What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor.

“First you give me $10 every day, then $7,50 and now only $5. What’s the problem?”

“Well,” the man says, “last year my eldest son went to university. It’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further.”

“And how many children do you have?” the beggar asks.

“Four,” the man replies.

“Well,” says the beggar, “I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense.”


Now[i] this[/i] is good!

Nice 1 Blacksta  wink
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by nellaluv(f): 7:27pm On Aug 12, 2010
The Jesus joke is nt even funny undecided , but this one is:
blacksta:

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $7.50

“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes $5.

“What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor.

“First you give me $10 every day, then $7,50 and now only $5. What’s the problem?”

“Well,” the man says, “last year my eldest son went to university. It’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further.”

“And how many children do you have?” the beggar asks.

“Four,” the man replies.

“Well,” says the beggar, “I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense.”


blacksta:

One day a Mr.Joe goes to a library and asks for a book.

The beautiful librarian asks him the name of the book.

Joe says: "Psycho The rap1ist"

Librarian searches for the book for a long time, comes back, slaps Joe and says: You , It is "Psychotherapist"
haha
funny! doesn't mean i laughed sha, but hey it's a gud one, i'll laugh later
#OkBye
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by nellaluv(f): 7:28pm On Aug 12, 2010
The Jesus joke is nt even funny undecided , but this one is:
blacksta:

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $7.50

“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes $5.

“What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor.

“First you give me $10 every day, then $7,50 and now only $5. What’s the problem?”

“Well,” the man says, “last year my eldest son went to university. It’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further.”

“And how many children do you have?” the beggar asks.

“Four,” the man replies.

“Well,” says the beggar, “I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense.”


blacksta:

One day a Mr.Joe goes to a library and asks for a book.

The beautiful librarian asks him the name of the book.

Joe says: "Psycho The rap1ist"

Librarian searches for the book for a long time, comes back, slaps Joe and says: You , It is "Psychotherapist"
haha
funny! doesn't mean i laughed sha, but hey it's a gud one, i'll laugh later
#OkBye
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 10:31pm On Aug 12, 2010
^^

haba - i heard u once - twice you spoke
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by EfemenaXY: 11:02pm On Aug 12, 2010
I feel like having a good laugh tonight, Blacksta. . .

So tickle me with more good jokes pls. . . tongue
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by blacksta(m): 11:20pm On Aug 12, 2010
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, I bet you can’t tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.”

She said, “You have the biggest penis of all your friends.”
Re: My All Time Best Joke - Dedicated To All The Jokers In The Joke Section by EfemenaXY: 11:23pm On Aug 12, 2010
shocked shocked shocked shocked

Now that is wicked!! tongue

Another one pls. . .

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