Is This Writer's Block?

As I sit and stare at the blank page before me, I feel empty. Is this writer’s block? Or is it something deeper than that, the overwhelming feeling of life closing in, of overtaking any kind of creativity. I have many ideas, many topics to write about, but I can’t focus tonight. Geez.

This frustrates me. I want to write with free plagiarism checker. I want to be a writer. I want to be a better writer. But I have to write to be a writer. And I have to write more to be a better writer! But I’m stumped. Has life really gotten the best of me? Is it the pressure of the job? One day at a time, I tell myself. One day at a time. But it wears on me. And somehow a long-time relationship of mine may be ending—could it really?—and I can’t even explain why. I just know that it could be happening as I write this, and I feel helpless to stop it.

What If You Feel Helpless?

Helpless? Isn’t it normal to feel that way in a world full of ups and downs, and sometimes incredible pain? Tonight I went to a memorial service for one of the fallen Navy Seals who was shot down in a helicopter in Afghanistan. He was a former high school student of mine back in the mid-1990s. As I had reconnected with many of my students of that time on Facebook, I decided I should attend.

I know that sometimes it’s almost cliché to say of someone who has passed away how great a person he or she was—how good and kind—but this guy was. He was popular in school and kind to everyone. Hearing the stories tonight from his friends, testaments of his love for his wife and family, and words from the other soldiers he worked with made me think how unfair the world is. Is it true that “only the good die young?”

It seems that many around me are also going through tough times, facing challenges greater than the usual daily grind. I can’t seem to keep up with daily chores, much less the larger heartaches of my own and others around me. For the last couple of weeks, I have been throwing myself into writing. It has been a great release, and I have been thrilled to feel that I’m finding my groove… but tonight it is failing me. Now what? I’m empty. Nothing is coming to me. My mind is swirling with all the thoughts of the past few days, all the disappointment, hurts, and questions. How can so many issues be crashing around in my head, and yet I feel almost numb?

Write About the Emptiness

I don’t know. I just don’t have the answers tonight. I don’t have ANY answers. I have only questions. Maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s okay to write about those questions, those frustrations that keep me from writing, because at least I’m still writing. Writer’s block or not, writers should write. Somehow I’ve plodded through and written an article about just that. I guess that when I’m full of topics, I’ll write about those topics. When I have an idea about a poem, I’ll write a poem. And when I’m empty, I’ll just write about the emptiness. But at least I'll be writing.