A Million Thoughts �

By Jireh Isaac Mark
(Jirehdsir@gmail.com)


I wrote this Piece sometime in November 2018 at about 11 pm, I didn't even write the date when I was writing. Because, I was so lost in a cloud of a million thoughts. I was in deep pain, despair, agony and faced rejection from even those dearest to my heart.

Nobody could see or feel what I was going through. I was just lost, completely and totally lost. Then I picked up my pen, and began to write. As you read, it's my prayer that this poem inspires you. No matter what you're facing, never give up. I almost gave up, then I looked up and God heard me. His love changed and transformed me.
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A Million Thoughts �

Oh what rage! Surging in and around me
I can feel volts of tumultuous despair
Running through my veins as I write this
Is it pain? Anger? Regret?
This feeling is so strong & inexplicable.

What do I do now? Where do I run to?
I am lost in an ocean of confusion
Only if Magic was real;
I would just wave a magic wand
To make all these go away forever!

I feel like disappearing!
To be unseen and unheard
Just wish I could fly away
Thoughts of exile keep resounding
Deep down I keep fighting this journey.

If I go on this exile
Would the voyage of solitude do the magic?
If I go, many hearts I would break
Yet, even I feel more broken.
Oh! Broken ME! Helpless ME!

When it all starts to make sense,
Then I drift away and void of sense
Void of meaning
All these thoughts on my mind!
A million thoughts on my mind.

I can't think straight anymore
It's all a facade, I feel empty.
I need a way out of this
A million thoughts on my mind.
What do I do?

My head is spinning like a carousel
I need a place of solace.
Staying here? Going there?
I am lost and confused.
A million thoughts on my mind.

I need to cool off
These emotional tantrums
I won't let you weigh me down
I refuse to let you bring me down
I won't let you ruin ME.

I am the owner of ME
This night as I go to bed
I wish I will be able to sleep
Because I am lost
In a world of a million thoughts.

From now henceforth, I am making a decision
I choose to ignore all the negativities around me
I will rise about these storms
I will soar on the waves of mockery
I will make it. No matter what people say.

Against every odd I will succeed
Mock ME, I'll use them as stones
To mold me ME a better & brighter future
Laugh at my past failures
It will charge me and make me stronger.

This story is about me & my life
Your words, thoughts and actions
Cannot and will not define my ending
I am rewriting this script.
And at the end, my story will be told.

My story will encourage billions of people
I will be an icon worthy of emulation
A legend that will forever stay in history.

Watch ME! As I take this leap
NOTHING! I SAY NOTHING!
CAN STOP ME NOW!
I AM A GENIUS!
I AM AMAZING!
I AM ME!
THEY'LL NEVER BE ANOTHER ME!
NEVER!

Kindly share it with others.
God bless you richly.