The Rapture

About 2000 years ago, a foreign spirit possessed a young Hebrew virgin, Mary. This Mary would go on to give birth to a brown baby boy she named Jesus. That was what God told her to name him, for God was the father of the son.

The boy Jesus grew and lived a very boring life till he was thirty. He spent the next three years trying to convince his village people that he was God's Son.

A few poor fishermen believed him. The Carpenter and his homies began a small cult named The Disciples. They followed Jesus where he went, Peter the hypeman, Judas the money guy, and John with the condoms.

After three years, the village people decided they were sick and tired of Jesus' ass. So they nailed him to a cross like a painting.


The Disciples held on to Jesus, despite his death. Like The Taliban, their unity went beyond mere words.. Their life was completely devoted to Jesus' cause.

Jesus promised he'd come back. Though he was dying, he believed he'd be back. It'd called stubborn faith, a rigid resistance to facts and figures, a complete denial of reality. Some might call it i-craze-myself, but who am I to judge?




So, Jesus promised he'd be gone for a long time.

'I'm not sure when I'll be back, you know. My Father, only he can allow me come back, it's all in his hands, not mine. But I promise it will be soon, don't you worry...'

And my Lord, have people waited... Dont test the patience of Christians, they will wait for Jesus even if takes a million years... I mean the guy has to come back right?



So, this coming back is what is called The Rapture. Apparently, the sky will open up all over the world. We will able to see the universe, stars, galaxies, basically all the things our telescopes have found.

The whole world will watch as JESUS steps off a throne in heaven, big huge golden throne.. There will be angels flying around with trumpets, huge ass trumpets, Dj Gabriel will be on the turntables..


Then, the most beautify part of the performance... All those who have kept faith will be rewarded. They will start floating towards heaven, all of them everywhere.
Up up they will go towards Jesus' smiling face.

There will be seats at the right hand of Jesus, where all who have believed will sit, singing praises to Him forever.. Like an ipod on steriods...


Oh, may that day come. Lord, come and take your retards.

HappyPagan:
The Rapture

About 2000 years ago, a foreign spirit possessed a young Hebrew virgin, Mary. This Mary would go on to give birth to a brown baby boy she named Jesus. That was what God told her to name him, for God was the father of the son.

The boy Jesus grew and lived a very boring life till he was thirty. He spent the next three years trying to convince his village people that he was God's Son.

A few poor fishermen believed him. The Carpenter and his homies began a small cult named The Disciples. They followed Jesus where he went, Peter the hypeman, Judas the money guy, and John with the condoms.

After three years, the village people decided they were sick and tired of Jesus' ass. So they nailed him to a cross like a painting.


The Disciples held on to Jesus, despite his death. Like The Taliban, their unity went beyond mere words.. Their life was completely devoted to Jesus' cause.

Jesus promised he'd come back. Though he was dying, he believed he'd be back. It'd called stubborn faith, a rigid resistance to facts and figures, a complete denial of reality. Some might call it i-craze-myself, but who am I to judge?




So, Jesus promised he'd be gone for a long time.

'I'm not sure when I'll be back, you know. My Father, only he can allow me come back, it's all in his hands, not mine. But I promise it will be soon, don't you worry...'

And my Lord, have people waited... Dont test the patience of Christians, they will wait for Jesus even if takes a million years... I mean the guy has to come back right?



So, this coming back is what is called The Rapture. Apparently, the sky will open up all over the world. We will able to see the universe, stars, galaxies, basically all the things our telescopes have found.

The whole world will watch as JESUS steps off a throne in heaven, big huge golden throne.. There will be angels flying around with trumpets, huge ass trumpets, Dj Gabriel will be on the turntables..


Then, the most beautify part of the performance... All those who have kept faith will be rewarded. They will start floating towards heaven, all of them everywhere.
Up up they will go towards Jesus' smiling face.

There will be seats at the right hand of Jesus, where all who have believed will sit, singing praises to Him forever.. Like an ipod on steriods...


Oh, may that day come. Lord, come and take your retards.

Are u an atheist or not

nothing like RAPTURE it was made up you can check the history

braveboy64:
nothing like RAPTURE it was made up you can check the history

And if it is true?

Lol... Hilarious. He should can and take his retards indeed

Benjamin08:


Are u an atheist or not

I'm human.

braveboy64:
nothing like RAPTURE it was made up you can check the history

Really?

nedzuby:


And if it is true?

It will be good. The earth will be rid of retards. Ill take over the churches, probably have an orgy in the Dome.

Lol..

HappyPagan:
The Rapture

About 2000 years ago, a foreign spirit possessed a young Hebrew virgin, Mary. This Mary would go on to give birth to a brown baby boy she named Jesus. That was what God told her to name him, for God was the father of the son.

The boy Jesus grew and lived a very boring life till he was thirty. He spent the next three years trying to convince his village people that he was God's Son.

A few poor fishermen believed him. The Carpenter and his homies began a small cult named The Disciples. They followed Jesus where he went, Peter the hypeman, Judas the money guy, and John with the condoms.

After three years, the village people decided they were sick and tired of Jesus' ass. So they nailed him to a cross like a painting.


The Disciples held on to Jesus, despite his death. Like The Taliban, their unity went beyond mere words.. Their life was completely devoted to Jesus' cause.

Jesus promised he'd come back. Though he was dying, he believed he'd be back. It'd called stubborn faith, a rigid resistance to facts and figures, a complete denial of reality. Some might call it i-craze-myself, but who am I to judge?




So, Jesus promised he'd be gone for a long time.

'I'm not sure when I'll be back, you know. My Father, only he can allow me come back, it's all in his hands, not mine. But I promise it will be soon, don't you worry...'

And my Lord, have people waited... Dont test the patience of Christians, they will wait for Jesus even if takes a million years... I mean the guy has to come back right?



So, this coming back is what is called The Rapture. Apparently, the sky will open up all over the world. We will able to see the universe, stars, galaxies, basically all the things our telescopes have found.

The whole world will watch as JESUS steps off a throne in heaven, big huge golden throne.. There will be angels flying around with trumpets, huge ass trumpets, Dj Gabriel will be on the turntables..


Then, the most beautify part of the performance... All those who have kept faith will be rewarded. They will start floating towards heaven, all of them everywhere.
Up up they will go towards Jesus' smiling face.

There will be seats at the right hand of Jesus, where all who have believed will sit, singing praises to Him forever.. Like an ipod on steriods...


Oh, may that day come. Lord, come and take your retards.

Your kinds doubted (& possibly mocked) Noah in his days until the global flood came and destroy them all.

OpenYourEyes1:



Your kinds doubted (& possibly mocked) Noah in his days until the global flood came and destroy them all.

What global flood? Dat water no reach my village o...

HappyPagan:

What global flood? Dat water no reach my village o...

Your coal and petroleum are proofs of a global flood. How else can Billions of trees be buried under ground if not through watery catastrophy.

OpenYourEyes1:

Your coal and petroleum are proofs of a global flood.

How?

HappyPagan:
How?

Google the origin of coal and crude oil

OpenYourEyes1:

Your coal and petroleum are proofs of a global flood. How else can Billions of trees be buried under ground if not through watery catastrophy.

Sorry to say.. But you are the dumbest guy on this board..

sonmvayina:

Sorry to say.. But you are the dumbest guy on this board..

You are the smartest my friend

You are puncturing yourself not rapture

OpenYourEyes1:


You are the smartest my friend

The bible and other religious books are not history text book.. They are spiritual manual.. You are expected to read the story and learn the spiritual messages it teaches..
In the case of Noah.. It simply means it is God that also destroys.. God creates and God destroys.. It is adapted from old babylonian epic

HappyPagan:
The Rapture

About 2000 years ago, a foreign spirit possessed a young Hebrew virgin, Mary. This Mary would go on to give birth to a brown baby boy she named Jesus. That was what God told her to name him, for God was the father of the son.

The boy Jesus grew and lived a very boring life till he was thirty. He spent the next three years trying to convince his village people that he was God's Son.

A few poor fishermen believed him. The Carpenter and his homies began a small cult named The Disciples. They followed Jesus where he went, Peter the hypeman, Judas the money guy, and John with the condoms.

After three years, the village people decided they were sick and tired of Jesus' ass. So they nailed him to a cross like a painting.


The Disciples held on to Jesus, despite his death. Like The Taliban, their unity went beyond mere words.. Their life was completely devoted to Jesus' cause.

Jesus promised he'd come back. Though he was dying, he believed he'd be back. It'd called stubborn faith, a rigid resistance to facts and figures, a complete denial of reality. Some might call it i-craze-myself, but who am I to judge?




So, Jesus promised he'd be gone for a long time.

'I'm not sure when I'll be back, you know. My Father, only he can allow me come back, it's all in his hands, not mine. But I promise it will be soon, don't you worry...'

And my Lord, have people waited... Dont test the patience of Christians, they will wait for Jesus even if takes a million years... I mean the guy has to come back right?



So, this coming back is what is called The Rapture. Apparently, the sky will open up all over the world. We will able to see the universe, stars, galaxies, basically all the things our telescopes have found.

The whole world will watch as JESUS steps off a throne in heaven, big huge golden throne.. There will be angels flying around with trumpets, huge ass trumpets, Dj Gabriel will be on the turntables..


Then, the most beautify part of the performance... All those who have kept faith will be rewarded. They will start floating towards heaven, all of them everywhere.
Up up they will go towards Jesus' smiling face.

There will be seats at the right hand of Jesus, where all who have believed will sit, singing praises to Him forever.. Like an ipod on steriods...


Oh, may that day come. Lord, come and take your retards.

Because sentence for offence is not swiftly carried, man becomes bolder in his offence and blasphemy.

It will tarry, but it will surely come.

sonmvayina:


The bible and other religious books are not history text book.. They are spiritual manual.. You are expected to read the story and learn the spiritual messages it teaches..
In the case of Noah.. It simply means it is God that also destroys.. God creates and God destroys.. It is adapted from old babylonian epic

No, the Bible is NOT like other religious books. Global flood indeed happened..
Fossil records and dinosaurs bones all over the world show that most animals were buried in a catastrophic flood. Stop believing everything you watch on TV. It is your duty as the smartest member to research this dumb things I post.

OpenYourEyes1:


No, the Bible is NOT like other religious books. Global flood indeed happened..
Fossil records and dinosaurs bones all over the world show that most animals were buried in a catastrophic flood. Stop believing everything you watch on TV. It is your duty as the smartest member to research this dumb things I post.

This guy and dumb arguments.

MrPresident1:


Because sentence for offence is not swiftly carried, man becomes bolder in his offence and blasphemy.

It will tarry, but it will surely come.

First of all, fvck u and that high horse u rode in on. I hope u break your coccyx while falling off of it.
There is no bigger blasphemy than the foolishness u routinely indulge in every few months here. Where u claim to know the end of the world and keep shifting the dates whenever your lunacy is discovered to be what it is. Nobody exposes their deity to more ridicule than u have done over the last 2 years at least. And if sentence has not been carried out on you yet, just shut the fvck up and let people with more dignity talk.

MrPresident1:


Because sentence for offence is not swiftly carried, man becomes bolder in his offence and blasphemy.

It will tarry, but it will surely come.

My point exactly. Jesus got y'all hooked on an ever-shifting timeline.

HappyPagan:

My point exactly. Jesus got y'all hooked on an ever-shifting timeline.

He will come. We have seen the last sign, we saw the sign this morning.

The blackman will rise again

MrPresident1:


He will come. We have seen the last sign, we saw the sign this morning.

The blackman will rise again

Yeah, it's much easier to believe what the dead man told you, than to accept you've been fed a lie. There's no shame in admitting you were duped.

You realise life offers paradise here on earth too...

HappyPagan:


Yeah, it's much easier to believe what the dead man told you, than to accept you've been fed a lie. There's no shame in admitting you were duped.

You realise life offers paradise here on earth too...

You are the one who has been duped of your patrimony.

You are the willing, useful, and acquiescing slave.

MrPresident1:


You are the one who has been duped of your patrimony.

You are the willing, useful, and acquiescing slave.

Please show me how.

MrPresident1:


He will come. We have seen the last sign, we saw the sign this morning.

The blackman will rise again

He will come - open your mouth and receive it.
You have seen the last sign - Is he rubbing it faster?
The blackman will rise again - never knew that you were a fan of BBC.

adoyi8:

He will come - open your mouth and receive it.
You have seen the last sign - Is he rubbing it faster?
The blackman will rise again - never knew that you were a fan of BBC.

Mr Presidead..

adoyi8:

He will come - open your mouth and receive it.
You have seen the last sign - Is he rubbing it faster?
The blackman will rise again - never knew that you were a fan of BBC.

When he comes, he will fill your mouth with jizz, and seal it with gravel.

Useful slaves

HappyPagan:

Please show me how.

If you have not found out all this while, no point. It's hopeless

MrPresident1:


When he comes, he will fill your mouth with jizz, and seal it with gravel.

Useful slaves

If you know what Jizz means, I don't think you will make heaven. you hypocrite.