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Stats: 2,936,086 members, 7,104,532 topics. Date: Thursday, 06 October 2022 at 02:45 AM
|Some Fun While Job Hunting by ifyalways(f): 4:41pm On Feb 25, 2019|
Good day everyone. This thread is open to all Job seekers who are :
Active in the Job/vacancies section
Are currently looking for Job
Have been registered NLD members since 2017 atleast.
Don't post twice with your alternate handle, I will fish you out and you will be disqualified.
What to do :
Write a FUN essay of a typical day in your job seeking/ interview adventure. The story might be gloomy but find a way to inject some fun in it.
Post the essay here. Not less than 400 words,original and unique, no copy and paste.
What you'd get:
The best 10 will win 5,000 ngn each.
The next 5 will get 3,000 each
The next 5 will get 1,000 recharge card of their choice.
This is solely for Fun and to lighten our days and encouragement to not give up .
I'm the judge and Jury hence will determine the essay that wins or not.
This funpetition is open from today till till March 1st. I will announce winners March 2nd, disburse the winnings March 3rd and 4th and move on. If you win and not on ground to send your details on 3rd or 4th, it's forfeited .
Ngwa, let's have the essays . Goodluck
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Nobody: 4:52pm On Feb 25, 2019|
The Kindergarten Secretary
On my 21st birthday, my boyfriend promised me he was going to help me get a job after I got admission into National Open University. The institution's motto is “Work and Learn,” and I was very eager to get my self busy since the university did not hold lectures like other conventional universities.
Few days after my matriculation ceremony, I received a call from a man while I was having lunch with my hostel friends. He told me Julius(my boyfriend) spoke to him about me, and he requested we meet at a school in Evboutu or lose the big job. I had only swallowed two balls of Eba and I wasn’t filled at all, but I sprinted to my room and changed to something modest. I didn't want to lose this big job.
As soon as I got to the school, I explained to the gateman, and he directed me to an office. Seated there was a guy, probably a teacher because he had this long neck physics teachers usually had. The office had an empty seat and desk in it. On the desk was a laptop and some bunch of files. Upon sighting the chair and desk, I was like,
“wow this is my seat, I’m going to be a secretary.”
The first question he asked me was:
“Do you love children?”
Okay, what's happening here, I was confused, what do loving children have to do with a secretary job?
After a moment of silence I replied:
"Yes sir, I love kids very much."
“Wonderful” He exclaimed
"I’m the Director of this school, Julius told me about you. I like young girls who are hardworking, come tomorrow by 9am for your interview, I want you already". He concluded with a smile and gave me N1000 to go back home.
“Thank you so much”! I quickly collected it, and left the office.
On my way home I picked up my phone and called Julius
“Hello, baby guess what.” I asked
“what” He questioned “
I am going to be a secretary” I exclaimed
“Wow congrats babe,” I am happy for you he replied cheerfully
“Thank you, babe, I love…. “ Before I could complete the sentence, the call ended due to insufficient fund
The next morning, a painful pimple erected from my cheeks mixed with severe headache and catarrh. The only money left with me was the N1000, the director gave me. I contemplated on using the N1000 to get some drugs or using it to transport for the interview
“Get some drugs you might die on your way, remember you are the only child in your family” a voice whispered into my ear
“Go for the interview a big job is waiting for you” Another voice whispered into my ear.
I listened to the second voice, freshened up and left for the interview. The interview was supposed to hold by 12 pm, but it was already 11:00 am, and there was no bus. I had been standing on the road for more than two hours….. I almost cried “Is this how I will lose this job?” I asked myself.
As I was in thought, a bus approached me and I quickly jumped in. On my way, the bus gets caught in a traffic jam. “Chai this must be the work of my village people” I whispered to myself. I ran out of patience and decided to sprint down to the school (opportunity to burn some fat).
When I got there, I was sweating like a ram who just escaped being slaughtered. I was boiling! My hotness increased when I saw a lady seated on “my seat” Yes that vacant seat with the laptop I told you guys about.
I was already boiling in anger when the Director came in “Oya follow me” he requested He took me to a classroom filled with so many kids, the smell of poop was all over the place, some were crying while some had catarrh running down their nose. Then the director began his speech:
“This is the creche class” upon hearing that I was like OK, no secretary, I can manage being a Kindergarten teacher.
But the next sentence I heard was
“Your job is not to teach them, we have a teacher already. Your duty is to change their diapers whenever they defecate and clean their nose”
Are you kidding me? Change babies diaper? Is this the big job this fat belle man had been talking about? I felt like strangling him.
"Ok, how much is the salary" I enquired.
He waited for some seconds and replied:
I was like "75,000"?
I was already in the mood to start cleaning their diapers for that amount. He laughed hysterically and replied,
“No o it is N7500.”
My hotness tripled to the extent it could even cook beans.
This is slavery! 7500? my transportation to and fro is N6000 that means I will go home with N2000 every month
Waste of time!
Waste of energy!
I would have finished my eba that day If I had known.
“Thank you oga for your offer” I muttered
If I had spent one more minute in there, I would probably kick him in the balls. I quickly walked out of the premises, and as for Julius I never spoke to him again.
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by ifex370(m): 4:59pm On Feb 25, 2019|
young wild and free.
It was just my second month in the city of Lagos, and all these while I had been on the mainland, still studying, observing and feeling the whole environment I could access. Then, I had the call I'd been waiting for. I was just invited for an interview with one of the country's most prestigious telecommunications companies. The interview was to be on a Tuesday so I at least, had 4 days to make sufficient preparations. I thought of all the things I could read up, but had given up owing to the fact that whatever concept I didn't know and had no idea of, I couldn't possibly comprehend in just a few days.
Day of the interview, after warnings from friends that know the Lagos terrain to leave early for the island if I want to get there on time, I still left home as late as 6 am... lol, getting to the park that hosts the buses supposed to convey us to obalende CMS, one would wonder if the queue I was seeing was just to enter a bus and not even to get a job. Finally, by after 7, we were on our way and soon getting close to the third mainland bridge.
With the interview scheduled for 9 am and our bus still on a 1km/h motion, I was beginning to wonder if I had made the right decision by even coming to this Lagos. eventually, I got off at obalende by 8:25, which means I still had 35 minutes to get to my location.
Getting a napep was quite easy as we made headways to Victoria Island. I finally got to my location after walking in circles for almost 7 minutes (useless google map kept carrying me back) with 6 minutes to spare.
After a formal introduction with the front desk, I was asked to wait for a while as the HR personnel that would attend to me had not yet resumed. 30 minutes later, I was ushered into a room with a man (late 30s) and a much younger lady. Na there I remember say I no carry CV go, Oh lord. After an Introduction, I just confessed my sin by telling them I forgot to come with my CV. The man just said I should start going home and I shouldn't even argue, he doesn't want to hear a word.
Defeated, I just picked my bag and pen from the table and headed towards the door (after all, me sef I'm even tired of the whole lagos, this small waka af waka be like Israelites journey), that was when I heard the man laughing. "So you don't have anything to say? can't you chose to resist?". "Sir You said I shouldn't say a word, Sir".
"Rightly so," he said. "I took the leverage of going through your CV before coming in, and from the information I got from it, you seem very qualified, If not more than. I just wanted to find out if you had one extra skill which I also look out for, which is good manners with a strong positive attitude when faced with challenging difficulties. Well done". "There's no need wasting time, how much would you like to be paid?".
A few months later, I quit that job for another job with even higher pay, and it has been God leading me from there.
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Akalia(m): 7:27pm On Feb 25, 2019|
So I got this invite to a job interview for the position of a data entry officer, this comes a couple of months after applying to the job. I had even forgotten of the application because I had being busy attending other interviews anyway .
I bolted out of bed before 7:30am, freshened up, took a light breakfast and headed out since the interview was slated for 9:am.
Fortunately, On that fateful day traffic didn't cause me any delay unlike the usual gridlock experienced in my city during the morning rush hours on a daily basis. So I got to the interview venue and it was a business complex building towering up to about 11 floors. I had to navigate the staircase up to the 9th floor where the organisation's office was situated.
Ding dong! (I pressed the bell on the door)
The door opened and right before me was standing a chubby figure. Hello! Good morning sir, welcome to*******(the organisation's name). She said. She had the kind of voice that would get a grown man Hot under a cold weather. Oh I didn't mention, it was a rainy and cold morning on that D-Day.
Good morning, please I am here to meet with Mr. *****(the interviewer), I responded.
OK, come on in. She said. I gladly stepped in past the door and stood right behind her so she could lead the way but she had to shut the door before taking the lead. I tried to steal a quick glance at her but she was quick to shut the door behind her. Follow me, she said.
As I followed her, her whole figure was gradually taking appreciable shape before my eyes as we moved from the passage which was not very illuminated to the reception office which was well lighted. Have a seat, she said. Thank you, I responded. I sat on a black couch which was right beside her office desk. She inquired my name and I told her. She put a call to someone, she spoke to the receiver on the other end "hello sir, good morning. Mr. Akalia is here" after some brief discussion ensued she hung up and turned to me and said "my boss is the one to interview you, he is not on seat now. He will join us shortly. Please be patient "
Alright, I said.
The whole time she was on a call I took time to observe her features, she had this thick, big-ass lips with a shade of red lipstick on. The kind of lips that is best suited for felatio, I thought to myself.
She was also full breasted, maybe not as roman goddess or cossy orjiokor but those set of tits would be endowed with succulent nipples, and would make a handful for handling, I thought to myself. My mind was just wandering naughty that it's focus had drifted away from my purpose of being there. In addition, she was dark in complexion, she reminded me of the porn actress on xvideo porn site called "shi reeve"
So I was lost in raunchy thoughts for a while but I got a grip of my mind after she ended the call.
It was well over 40 minutes while waiting for her boss (my supposed interviewer). I pretended to be toying with my phone while subtly observing her with the corner of my eyes, she was busy making up; applying her mary kay powder and her mascara and other make up kits. I needed to engage her in a convo but I just didn't know how to begin, guess I was just nervous, maybe shy.
So Akalia how did you get information that we are recruiting, she said .
It was a pleasant moment for me because the opportunity to engage her had showed up.
Well, I saw your advert on the nairaland job section, so I applied. I replied.
Do you have membership account on nairaland? She asked.
Oh yes, are you a nairalander? I asked.
Yea, she gracefully replied.
Wow, that's cool, what a pleasant coincidence, I said wearing my signatory charming smile.
She would disclose to me later on in the course of our convo her moniker on nairaland.
In the spirit of sharing the nairaland membership common ground with me she tried to put me through the job functions of the position I will be interviewed for. She also hinted on some likely questions that I might be asked and the appropriate answers. By this time she left her desk and came over to where I sat and sat close to me. She was so nice, sexy and fuc*able, as I had thought in mind.
One thing led to another, I won't really go into details but I found myself handling her tits, she was like "akalia this isn't right " I ignored her and unbuttoned her shirt half way,her boobs were exposed. She had no bra on. Her nipples were so big and hard, I headed for them as I locked onto one with my mouth while handling the other breast with my hand. She was just moaning softly and at some seconds interval would say "this is not right akalia ".
Ding dong! (the bell rang)
We both hurriedly detached ourselves from each other in a frantic manner, she quickly buttoned up, organised herself and headed for the door. I adjusted myself equally.
The boss walked in and I greeted him, he was a tall, fair young man. Maybe a bit older than myself. So this is the dude having this secretary all to himself, I thought In my dirty mind.
Cut long story short, the interview went down and I was made an offer but I declined because the salary structure was less than my expectation considering the fact that I earned higher where I was employed at the time.
I left shortly after the interview. Needless to mention the hot secretary I met who happened to be a nairalander ( name withheld ) used my phone to dial her number while I plucked it to charge under her care since I had a low battery.
Well, Outside the interview, we both met on different occasions and had some really raunchy moments together.
Disclaimer : This story is entirely based on real life experience, it's meant for entertainment purpose only and it's not in any way an attempt to cast aspersions on anyone or any social media platform.
Since I created this story a couple of years back people have not stopped hitting the like or share buttons respectively. However, I thought it ideal to promote my skill on this thread. Actually I am a freelance writer and I can be reached using this email emmanuelwilsoniteke@gmail. You can outsource your writing gigs to me at a budget friendly rate. I assure you of stellar delivery.
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by catwalq(f): 9:19pm On Feb 25, 2019|
[/b]There might be a dark cloud hanging over us,but still we aim for glory!!![b]
Job hunting in Lagos starts at night for me when I have to iron my clothes-nepa is nobody's Friend, arrange my CV,look for change because a bus conductor might just give you bad luck in the morning in the name of no change.
When I wake up in the morning, I pray,search nairaland and submit more applications where necessary, deceive myself that I'm keeping in shape with just 20 crunches,bathe and gadge up,steal my sister's perfume - at least me too gats smell nice. B4 heading out,I stand in front of the mirror and practice my signature poise. I might be ghetto but my smile,voice and handshake has got to be Harvard standard. Oluwa bless me today as I enter street.
After struggling to beat traffic, I get to wherever interview is holding,do my bit and like always hope for the best. After that,before heading home make your tfare no just waste,I look around for other organizations and drop CV's,whether them call or not I sha don do my part.
On the way home,you see different people with different stories: the food seller by the road side with little kids playing on the road without a care in the world,the boys smoking by the road side oblivious of the damage to their health,kids returning from school with hopes of making it big in life one day (i was once like that,where did the time go?), those arguing politics even more than the politicians,and then my favourite - beggars- I spare a few change not because I have but because they need it more than me, I'm rewarded with a priceless smile whether genuine or not I go my way, and many other characters.
When you get home,you thank God for protection, eat whatever is put b4 you while momcy tells you everything is gonna be fine and you're doing a great job. Later I meet up with friends, share a couple of drinks ( i can't come and go and kill myself jare)and retire for the night because tomorrow is another day.
We don't stop hunting because we're tired,we stop when we get what we want. And get we must albeit in good time. Peace and strength to every job seeker out there. Last last we go dey alright!!!!!
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by ifyalways(f): 10:23pm On Feb 25, 2019|
I'm following. . .
Sandralina:Even if I would, it would be Feb 2018 at least. but for You,Yes, you can participate. Early bird luck
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Nobody: 10:58pm On Feb 25, 2019|
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Blazing12345: 5:58am On Feb 26, 2019|
can I participate. I have been a member since 2014 with teenagetalks as username but couldn't retrieve the password, so I open another account , which is this one last year. you can check for the username to believe or not. Thanks.
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by ifyalways(f): 2:57pm On Feb 26, 2019|
Blazing12345:Na me go kuku break the rules finish.
You are in.
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Fecodear(f): 11:34pm On Feb 26, 2019|
*Yet another day*
The sun shone brightly across the room as I whimpered, I couldn't believe it was just a dream after all. It all looked like a reality, I mean the interview felt so real especially the part where the HR congratulated me on getting the job. I said my prayers and believed the day was going to be positive. As a normal routine, I quickly rummaged through the Job / Vacancy Section of Nairaland hoping that maybe I could find yet another opening to fill up.
I hurriedly left the bed, had my bath and dressed up for yet another day's Waka. As I walked dejectedly from one office to another just to submit my CV and hoping maybe by chance I would be called up someday. Around 11am, while I decided to get some snacks and rest a bit, I checked through my phone and saw so many missed calls from a friend. I called him up and he said he'd been trying to get across to me that there was an urgent interview he wanted me to attend but they started since 10am already.
Ewooooh oo, I shouted but no I wasn't giving up, I asked him to send me the address immediately as maybe I could still be lucky to meet up than not trying at all. I waited impatiently as the text came in after a while. I checked through it and realized I didn't really know where the address was located. For every Keke that I flagged down they were all going to another route except for the ones that said unless I wanted to charter them. I glanced through my purse and luckily for me, I saw an ill stricken #1000naira note. I quickly entered as the Keke man said it was #400. After about 20 minutes, he parked while showing me the signboard that I had reached where I was going. I paid him and collected my balance not after he had refused to take the money and I had to beg him to do since that was the only cash I had on me.
After settling the keke man, I walked briskly towards the building. Juz as I was asking a young man by the side the right floor to where I was going, he asked me if I came for a job interview I said yes, then he said, honestly I have to tell you the truth those people are scammers. I told him I got the information from a reliable source so let me go and confirm for myself. He gave me directives and I quickly walked to the receptionist. I told her the reason I was there and she said the interview was already on going but I should have a seat while she puts a call across to the HR unit.
After what seemed like ages, the receptionist beckoned on me. I followed her into a room where I met a panel of 2 men and a woman. After a few questions on my background and what have you. The woman spoke up and said, this job isn't like your everyday job, if you are dedicated you will make lots and lots of money. After giving a breakdown of what it entails, she said I was going to register with ****** amount. It was a networking stuff afterall, I told them I wasn't prepared for that and I would go home and think about it. As I left the building I knew that was the last time I was ever going to step my foot in there. It was almost 5pm as I boarded a keke and headed home.
It was yet another day gone but one day it will all be over I said to myself as I culled up in my bed and slept.
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Lynette2cute(f): 1:44am On Feb 27, 2019|
I collected my NYSC discharge certificate all smiles. Finally I was done and could now focus on getting a job.
The days went by and then of like every average Nigerian graduate, I began praying in earnest for a job and boom the invites started rolling in.
I opened my mail to see an invite from union bank in Jos. I started practicing some interview questions in front of my mirror. As the day drew closer I envisioned myself in a suit and high heels walking the corridors of the bank not as a customer but as a staff. Finally I'd be out of the labour market and of course have bragging rights amongst my pals. Ah, see me practicing my catwalking steps with so much enthusiasm. I was already fantasizing about spoiling myself silly with my first salary; shoes, bags, clothes and possibly a vacation. I swear I was already living large in my mind.
I packed my well ironed corporate wear and off I traveled to J.town. The next morning, I had my bath, make up on fleek, clothes simple but elegant and classy, cat walking upgraded, ate a light breakfast and off I went. As par jjc in j town naso I dey waka up and down to find the address. People just dey give me different directions, I called the contact person for the interview Oga no pick. I went into another branch of union bank to ask for directions naso madam customer care just dey speak turenchi dey give attitude, in my mind I said shey I'll soon be a staff abi, aunty just pray make I no be your Oga. I thanked her with a smile on my face and off I went.
I got to the venue and the security took me in and showed me where other invitees were seated. I took a seat and awaited my turn to face the interview. Lynette2cute pls come in some one called. I gathered all the confidence I could muster and went in, damn, girl was nervous. I went in, greeted the interviewers and was asked to sit. I answered the questions asked with ease as I was no longer nervous, it turned into a friendly chat and the chairman of the interview panel looked at me and said ' I love your spirit and cheerfulness, you're smart, intelligent and really what we need but you're too young, very soon you'd want to pursue greater things maybe an M.Sc or a better employment and working in a bank leaves you little or no time to develope yourself, so I'd advice you do something that'd give you time to pursue your dreams. I wish you the best' Those words broke me, I wanted to protest but all I heard myself say was Thank you sir, I'd consider your advice. As I stepped out, I thought there goes my dream of walking around the bank proudly as a staff. My dream of new clothes, bags, shoes, going to a spa, vacation all gone, well not gone just postponed.
I returned home, sulked a bit put myself back together and prepared for more interviews as it's now a daily struggle.
Each genuine interview invite I get, I keep telling myself ' This might just be it' and that's what keeps me going.
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by viettastitches(f): 2:02am On Feb 27, 2019|
It was a cold Monday morning, I had just finished serving my fatherland and so became a broke,and depressed housewife with 2 little kids, desperately in need of a job. I called everyone who I thought could be of help to ask for job referrals and all I kept getting,were promises.
I registered accounts with job vacancy sites but all I kept getting was gnld and neolife interviews(even though they usually come up with different names).
I was fed up with everything, and so on that Monday morning, I dressed up and left the house without any particular place in mind. I went to schools and actually got teaching jobs but none of them were willing to pay more than 10k,after going around, I was willing to teach in one of the schools close to my house, and so I went back to ask about when to resume. The school owner said I should resume immediately but I should bear in mind that the staff are like family and so even if they don't get salaries on time or if the Salary was incomplete, his 'family' usually understands.
I nodded slowly like an agama. I'm sure he thought it was an understanding nod because he laughed and said I love young girls who are willing to work, not for money but for the passion . I almost cried.
I left the school and started trekking home, when I sighted a fashion school around the area. I went in to make inquiries, and the rest is history.
In Nigeria, it is hard to find a job, but it is even harder to find one as a mother.
please incase my naira account is not old enough, I used to be chinma414.
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Blazing12345: 11:26am On Feb 27, 2019|
When I was in school and doing excellently well without much hassles,I never envisage that looking for a job afterwards will be a struggle.i have been job hunting for about 5 years now. Immediately I got my result the job search began.
At first I was just placing calls to all those that were telling me to just get my result and leave the rest for them. I did called and I was told by some to send in my CV which I did, others were like hold on a bit. I kept calling those I sent my CV to for feedback but nothing was forthcoming. It either no vacancy yet or no response at all.
Well, since all my contacts didn't work I decided to take the bull by the horns. Armed with my credentials I moved from place to place. Most places I wasn't let in, I was told to leave whatever I had with the guards at the gate I did, hoping for the best. But to my dismay I started getting calls from the security men instead of the HR. Hmmm, some called for us to hookup, 2-3 called to have a fling and the other set just called to marry me outrightly. I mean total strangers called and proposed over the phone. It funny that I went looking for a job but what I got were marriage proposals from maiguards.
Well, it didn't detered me I kept job hunting and dropping more CVS, then the one that made me stopped happened on one wet morning, it was on a Friday, got a call from a man in one of the companies I had submitted my application asking me to come for an interview on Monday. I was over the moon and I started preparing because I didn't want to miss this one for anything. Got up 5 am Monday morning and began to prepare by 7am I was out like almost rushing infact got to the place before they even resumed, I told the gateman why I was there he gave me this suspicious looks, I shugged it off as one of those things. People started arriving and after a while I realized they were all staff so I was wondering when the other applicants will arrived but behold I was the only applicant invited and it was a bit confusing to me.
Not long an elderly man walked in after a while I was told that's the manager and was ushered in to his office. The first statement he made was that I'm more beautiful in person than in my passport photo graph, I was just wondering what he was driving at. He told me there will be no interview that the job was already mine. Wow, just like thst,he nodded in affirmative, I was so excited without even allowing the excitement sink in I heard can you be my friend, I was like Sir we are not enemies, he responded I know but we could take it a notch higher, I didn't want to believe what I was thinking but it turn out to be true.
The manager turn round to where I sat and was trying to put his hands on my body I stood up and he was like blocking me I couldn't just comprehend what he was thinking, I told him sir i beg to take my leave you can keep the job but he held me tight I knew I had to do something fast or else this might spell danger, I let out a very loud scream and he became calm knowing it will attract his staff.
I swiftly moved to the exit door, pull it open and walked out. I could feel thousands of eyes literally trailing me. I didn't stop moving , I kept moving till I found a cab to take me home and I was really cursing the man under my breath.
With this experience I became weak of seeking jobs offline, decided to try online. Jobs though it isn't paying much but it sure keeps me busy and sane. I'm still job hunting though.
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Nobody: 9:29pm On Feb 27, 2019|
“Yikes!” I can’t remember the last time I used this word, I sighed. ‘Could have been ages’, I thought. The sound of that word had filtered into my room while I laid down on my bed browsing through the job and vacancies section on nairaland.com with my phone. I couldn’t help but stand up to peep through the window to know who had used that word. As I parted the curtain, I discovered it was a young lady who was bent down trying to clean her shoe. From her mutterings and angry gesticulations, she apparently stepped unknowingly on a piece of cow dung. After watching her for a few minutes, I went to back to sit on my white chair and rummaged through the stack of jot pads on my table. I absently recalled that these table and chair was my inheritance from my ‘mama o’ during my NYSC days. I can say she practically gifted me these for the ridiculously low price she had asked for the table and chair. I was looking for any jot pad that wasn’t yet filled with notes on addresses of companies I had sent my cv to as well as notes of results of my online research on some job advertisements. Suddenly, my handset beeped. It was a text. I picked up my phone and read the message. ‘You are invited for an interview with Diphigh consult on Friday 23rd November. Please, do come with your credentials for verification. Your reference number is 8657/AA’. It was yet again another of those fraudulent employment schemes. I had become an expert in decoding the legitimacy of any job offer by virtue of the content of the text. Without thinking about it, I deleted the text. “Sis, ndo” someone outside said, apparently to the young lady who was still trying remove the last vestige of the dung from her shoes. I went to lay back on my bed. As was usual with Ikenna, my neighbor, Shania Twain’s song, Forever and Always, came on from his speaker. For the millionth time, this song always has a way of putting me in reflective mood.
I had been a studious undergrad with high hopes for the future. I was one of those who couldn’t wait for NYSC to end for me to be what I wanted to be. Alas, it was a baptism of fire for me when I didn’t see my name on the final list of successful candidates for the FCTA job way back in 2012 after I had had an impressive aptitude test and a subsequent successful interview. I had finished my interview session with congratulatory messages from fellow applicants with even one of the interviewers commenting that I was the only one who had gotten the answers right all morning. From then, began my travails of job seeking.
‘Kpom kpom’ came the sound of knocking on my door, effectively shutting off the reflective mood in me like a power switch. I pranced off my bed and peered through the keyhole but could only make out the person’s shirt. I strengthened up and opened the door. I knew who it was. It was Ekene my friend. “Guy I don tell you say make you no dey too wear that shirt” I said while I walking back to the chair. “Nna, hapu nke ahu, leave that one”, he replied. “In fact I get one interview to attend tomorrow so I wan come iron my shirt since I no get light or even check if I fit borrow that your sky-blue one, the one wey get cuff-links”, he continued. “Ok. No wahala” I said. Swapping clothes for interviews was not unusual for us. "I get small change here” he remarked rummaging through his pocket, “you fit carry am arrange small food make we chop?” he enquired. I collected the money from him and counted it. It was 7k. “Guy, you try o” I thanked him. Ekene was truly a friend. He didn’t mind giving me money whenever I was broke. “But I have rice sha” I said handing him back the money. “Just keep the money but bring the rice” he replied. I went and brought the food and we settled down to eat. “Guy, you try for this food but you for put small pepper” he said as he devoured the rice. “ehee pepper again? You don forget how I follow you chop that pepper soup and I ended up soiling myself” I recalled. Ekene burst out laughing almost choking on his food. “you no remember that your crush wey dey work for bank” he noted, “na that day she chose to chat with you”. It was my most embarrassing day. I remembered how she tried to keep a straight face while I sweated profusely. Funny enough, we were at her bank branch for an interview and she was part of the organizers. Ekene and I had decided to step out for a quick snack that day. After eating the peppersoup and agidi at a nearby ‘buka’ and had gone back to the reception room, I started feeling uncomfortable after some minutes. I had excused myself to use the restroom. As I was about to remove my trousers, the contents of my stomach rushed out on their own volition. I was aghast and managed to clean up as much as I could under the circumstances. It was all an effort in futility. I could perceive the malodourous smell round me. I made up my mind to go home. Unfortunately, as I was about to sneak out of, lo and behold, it was Chidera my crush. She was one of the reasons I wanted to be financially capable so I can be bold enough to ask her out. “Hello Mr Chuka. There you are. Your friend told you came this way. I just wanted to wish you well.” She tried to keep on smiling but I could tell that she was struggling to maintain her smile. “Thank you”. I hurried away. I immediately left the venue and later sent a text to Ekene.
"So where are you going for the interview tomorrow?” I asked returning to the present. “I got a text late last night from Homoc, a multinational company. I have been up all night preparing for it. I really pray I make this time. I am simply tired”, he responded. He stood up, brought out a piece of paper and gave it to me. I glanced at it but was captivated by the words on it. It was all about verses from the holy Bible. Ekene who had written the verses has never been the spiritual type. For him to have written this connotes the desperation and frustration that may be creeping into him. "Emeka, I am really tired. I am praying to Yahweh that He deems it fit to bless me this time around with this job.” he remarked quietly. “I pray so too”, I concurred. The atmosphere round us was somber as we both stared into space, each with his own thoughts.
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Nobody: 10:18pm On Feb 27, 2019|
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by ifyalways(f): 7:41am On Feb 28, 2019|
This was supposed to be fun
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Akalia(m): 7:51am On Feb 28, 2019|
ifyalways:you asked for fun/motivational stories from job jugglers or seekers based on their respective experiences and you are getting just what you asked for. What else do you expect ?
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by ifyalways(f): 7:57am On Feb 28, 2019|
Akalia:I didn't ask for motivational stories nor expected to read soft porn.
What I expected :-
Write a FUN essay of a typical day in your job seeking/ interview adventure. The story might be gloomy but find a way to inject some fun in it.
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by GasAndOilTheory(m): 8:08am On Feb 28, 2019|
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by ThatKING(m): 8:10am On Feb 28, 2019|
Wow now this is challenging
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by ifyalways(f): 8:11am On Feb 28, 2019|
I'm impressed, have laughed so much with some entries and have decided to raise the winnings for the first/best three.
I'm the judge and Jury
Deadline : 12pm, March 1st.
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by devlishGINGER(m): 8:14am On Feb 28, 2019|
ifyalways:OK let's see if you have been in my shoes
Graduated in 2016, but NYSC talk say no way!
Naa STREAM B January 2017 man must enter camp
My heart shake, break, con damp
Like foam wey enter dam
Naa this time I know the gbege wey dey,
If man tey for house eehn dey play.
NYSC or no NYSC, my CV don stand
December 2016, I begin dey apply, reapply
I con get plenty regret mail from international coy
Based on say naa obodo Oyinbo my Belle dey joy.
But my people listen o! European union invite me!
Naa the following week NYSC speak say camp don ready!
My people, see "inside life comedy"?
Even tho money no dey to set the parole
I start to believe enemy dey patrol
Just like yesterday naa so nysc tey finish o
I have read it somewhere, "fortune favors the bold"
And since I graduated I have always been so
2017 no job but 2018, FRSC sama me hope
We con go for screening inside Army Barracks
Nas so one short soldier girl wey never fit clock 24
Sama one 32 year old big bros 2/4
plank!! Ol! Boy!
My heart jump like Blessing Okagbare
But wetin bros fit do now! Hin head don swell
Like Mr Tokyo bread! Mr 32 say thank you ma! Abeg!
My people! Country hard! Over 1000 graduates
And most don reach over 30 with pikin
Sote dem talk say make we con run 2 kilometers
I start race like say naa me be Hussein Bolt younger brother
2 seconds into the run my heart don dey fail
Like Nepa light, my eyes sef con reduced to low current.
Short, tall, fat, thin, cripple, sane and insane
People just dey run like water,
dem talk say destination dey front lane
I hear one soldier man say
"most of you know no minister, no commissioner, no governor
but una con run like civilians. .. una dey run like goat...
If you no get godfather! you no go run! I say you no go run!"
Ginger! Ginger! ginger! naa soldier man talk ginger us
Naa this soldier talk con ginger us
We con run go use body collect red marker
Con continue second leg like say first dey importanta
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Akalia(m): 8:36am On Feb 28, 2019|
ifyalways:An essay of sort as you requested in my understanding shouldn't be devoid of motivation, intrigues, and creativity. Well I had fun scribbling those lines up there based on my experience.
Read a few essays up there from other writers as well, not bad if you ask me.
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by moonberry: 10:56am On Feb 28, 2019|
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Petitequeen(f): 11:14am On Feb 28, 2019|
I never ever felt getting a job would be hard for me. As a top class student in the University, I felt I'd have a myriad of jobs to choose from when I graduate. In my 2nd year in school, I had already subscribed to MyJobMag and NGCareers and with the number of vacancies they churn out everyday, I felt, why would anyone say they couldn't get jobs or that there are no jobs, when it was apparent that firms were practically competing in the search for prospective employees. It really used to amaze me until "owu" blew me...
The plan I had in mind was to do an internship in a prestigious organization before NYSC and then come back after NYSC to secure a position as a staff in that organization or in a better one entirely. And may I bring it to your notice brothers and sisters of God, I am still searching. Me, the self proclaimed top student in the University.... Anyways I haven't lost hope, but I've learn a great deal.
One of the memorable experiences I had in my job search struggle was my interview with a popular food company in Lagos. It was one of my first interviews, so one may feel that I would be a little naive, however I was very confident I would do well as I felt it wasn't a big task. I was good at communication and public speaking as I led so many presentations back in school so an interview wasn't going to be that hard, I thought.
The morning of the interview, I woke up by 4am, took my bath and got dressed before 5am, had a short prayer with my mum over the interview and then left the house around 5:30am,( I stay in Badagry, which is like another state entirely, so you have leave home very early if you want to make it to anywhere on the mainland or island before 9am) I already had the address of the organization I was going to, but I didn't know the place, I had the help of google map and Lagos bus drivers, so I was covered, or so I thought.
My ordeal started when I got to Iyana Ipaja and was supposed to take another bus to Ikeja, prior to this time I had never been to Ikeja, so when I started hearing buses calling "Ikeja along" and others calling "Ikeja inside" I was confused. I was like which one is going to Ikeja naw?? After pondering for a while, I decided to ask one woman selling jewelry on the roadside. I approached her and said, "Madam, please where can I get a bus going to Ikeja?"
she looked at me suspiciously and turned to a young girl seating close to her, who would probably have been her daughter and asked her "ki lo wi?" meaning "what did she say?"
As someone who was bred and 'buttered' in Lagos now, I quickly repeated the question again in Yoruba, only for the woman to look at me and hiss.
"so you know how to speak Yoruba since, you were now shaping your mouth and speaking oyibo English for us? Big madam! You went to school, we have seen you!" She mouthed in Yoruba.
I was surprised, it was only a question I asked, I thought. After about 2 minutes of realizing the woman wasn't going to say any other thing, her daughter decided to help me.
"Go that garage, tell them say..." she started to say, only for the woman to cut her short again..
"why are you telling her? is she blind? can't she hear conductors calling Ikeja inside everywhere?" she spoke in yoruba.
"sebi you went to school?" she turned to ask me, still in yoruba, "didn't you see all these conductors calling Ikeja inside? they are the one going inside Ikeja" she finished off with snort.
Shocked and weak, I thanked the woman and walked towards the bus calling Ikeja inside. I asked the conductor how much the fare was and he told me #300. I quickly sat in and was waiting for the bus to fill up, only for the conductor to announce that the fare was now #400. Everybody inside the bus started shouting and abusing the conductor, why was he hiking the price? was it because his bus was the only one at the garage and people were late? they were all asking and shouting all at once, the conductor kept on hammering that it was #400 and if anyone didn't want to go, the person could equally come down. Everybody started getting down from the bus in annoyance and me, the newbie, also joined them, thinking "no be me conductor go scam this morning"
When the conductor realized people were getting down, he shouted "oya enter for #300, hold your change oh, I no get change..." before the man had even finished his speech, see men and women in suit scrambling to get back into the bus, both people that got down from the bus and people that were standing at the garage waiting for another bus. In the event of the scrambling, I was shoved and pushed and still didn't get a seat.
I had to wait for over 20 minutes for another bus, which I managed to struggle and squeeze myself in. By this time, it was already past 8 and my interview was scheduled to hold around 10.
After spending about an hour in traffic, we finally go to Ikeja underbridge and I managed to get a keke going to my direction, along with my phone showing google map, I finally got to the address.
I entered the building and was told to wait in the reception, along with some other interviewees, after 30 minutes, I was called into another room where a three-man panel sat, the panel was made up of an elderly man, a white man and a woman. I waa told to sit, so I sat.
The white man smiled at me and asked me to tell them about myself, I started off by saying my name and talked for about two minutes. Then the elderly man , with a scowl on his face looked at me and said "This one you're speaking English fre fre fee, can you sell?"
I smiled and told him I could. That I had led a sales project back in school and I was capable of...
"How many main markets do you know in Lagos?, Mention the major markets in Lagos" he interrupted.
I started mentioning the little markets I knew around my area and the man laughed sarcastically, "this one looks like all those ajebo that leave the market runs for their mother" he told the woman seated beside him.
The white man sensing that I had begun to feel nervous asked if I knew their products, I turned to him and said I did and started mentioning some of them, only for the elderly man to cut me short again asking if I use all the products. To be honest, I prefer another brand entirely, but I told him I use some and he started calling out all their products and asking for the market prices and I was only able to answer some of them. He stopped and asked the woman if she had any other question, and she asked me what my strengths were, naive as I was, I said my strength was smiling, that I smile even when I'm not happy, I was trying to smile as I was saying this, but village people no gree oh, the smile didnt come, what came was a rigid teeth showing attempt that was apparently fake.
The woman looked at me with pity and said she had no more questions, I was still trying to regain my consciousness when the elderly man threw the question at me " If you were an animal, what animal would you be?"
I couldn't imagine that they were referring to me so I said "what?"but he repeated the same question, Was I a joke to these people? I asked myself. In my confusion, I replied that I would be a bird. The man asked why, and I said because I love to sing. The looks on their faces showed my reply was foolish, the question itself was foolish, I thought, so I tried to align my reply with the job and then I said "when I'm working, I love to sing as this makes the job look seamless and easier for me" which was a more silly response when I think about it.
The interview ended there, after they said they'd get back to me, which I knew wasn't going to happen. I knew I had flopped big time. I boarded a bus going home along with one of the applicants, so I asked her if she was asked the animal question, she told me she was and she told them she would love to be an eagle because she was foresighted and loved to soar high at all times.
Her reply made much sense and I began to wonder why I didn't think of that. Why didnt I even think of being a Lion? so I could be brave and courageous or a tortoise, so I could be wise?
Anyways, I vowed to be a better animal in my next interview. Being an animal will not disqualify me from any other recruitment process.
89 Likes 12 Shares
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by DaddyELEPHANT: 11:39am On Feb 28, 2019|
Wii write mine soon
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by boborneyor(m): 1:28pm On Feb 28, 2019|
Getting a job in Nigeria can be frustrating . I graduated from one of the University of Technology in Nigeria.While in school i was always made to believe that having a good grade guaranty getting a good job, so i ensure i dedicated most of my time reading my books probably to graduate with a first class but unfortunately i ended up being a second class upper student despite denying myself of many school funs. I feel like turning back the hands of time for me to enjoy enough school life sha....Laughs !
i was posted to Abuja for my NYSC . The joy of serving in Abuja really increased my hope of getting a job with all the stories i have heard about Abuja Big men connections. I served with a federal government agency,so i always at have it at the back of my mind that before i finish my NYSC i will be retained by one of my Ogas because of my dedication to work . Months passed till the day of POP i was unable to secure appointment in this agency. It was then reality begin to dawn on me that i will soon be among the jobless Nigerian youth, i started collecting friends Cv for editing.After getting satisfaction from editing my friends CV. I started applying for online jobs ranging from government vacancies ,NGOS and also private jobs ...Two months passed after POP i am yet to secure my first interview, I was beginning to get disturbed maybe i have not been doing the right thing , i had to rewrite my CV again.
Luckily on the third month , i got invited for the Federal Road Safety Training , i was so happy that i will soon get a job with this invitation, my hope was really high. I joined a thread about the FRSC screening here on Nairaland ,collected past questions from people on the thread all in the name of preparing for the big day....Fast-forward to the day of the screening, i got to the venue which happens to be army barracks around 6AM in the morning but suprisingly i met alot of people mostly men and women with big pot bellies ,it was then i know the hustle is real....We were made to line up inside the sun for our document verification. After some minutes, Nigerian factor of MAN KNOW MAN started playing in from the queue ,so i couldn't get attended to until 10pm in the night ,this makes me to sleep inside the baracks that night because its already late . The second day ,we were made to run some kilometers in batches, it was that day i know the problem of having pot belly, i could remember while people with pot bellies are running , they also have the responsibility of carrying the load of their pot bellies along , so most of them ended up walking and got disqualified immediately, but don't get it twisted i qualified for the next stage , I am not among the pot bellied ...but at the end of all other exercises i couldn't make it to the final selection stage due to what i mentioned ealier "MAN KNOW MAN".
Additional experience from my job hunt so far was the recent first bank screening exam that i did,I traveled all the way from kwara state to Abuja for it...I read to the extend that started that i started singing with current affairs question and answers but only to meet an entirely mind wicked questions conducted by HCP on the exam day, i managed to score 38% at the end of the test ......HCP people, Thank you for making look like an olodo oh .
This month makes it a year of my job hunt . I am still applying for jobs and also trying to learn a skill so that i can employ myself if government and privates firms refuses to employ me
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|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by Nelsizzy(m): 1:36pm On Feb 28, 2019|
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by devlishGINGER(m): 5:59pm On Feb 28, 2019|
Wow am awed.. Thanks for the likes lol people.
ifyalways when I came online in the morning the rules of engagement didn't have 400 words ooo. Hope am still qualified
ifyalways:oh OK. Must have missed it
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by ifyalways(f): 6:54pm On Feb 28, 2019|
devlishGINGER:Don't be funny. It's always been there.
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by ifyalways(f): 6:56pm On Feb 28, 2019|
Some of you can really write. Nice and thumbs up
Deadline for posting your essay here remains 1st March, 12pm.
|Re: Some Fun While Job Hunting by lavanahblog(f): 7:13pm On Feb 28, 2019|
Nice thread so far..
6 Likes 3 Shares
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