Good Evening ma’am,

My name is Rosemary (not real name). I need help and advice. I am very depressed and confused. I am in dire need of somebody to speak to. I have been married for almost 15 years and right now,for the first time in my marriage,I am thinking of getting a divorce. I have cried and cried,having no one to talk to,no one to confide in. I do not want people who know me to mock me. That is why I was just scrolling through Facebook when I found Lively stones and I decided to call the number I saw on your platform.

Ever since I got married 15 years ago,I have been having issues in my marriage. This is because, after we got married,my husband relocated abroad. My baby was less than a year old when he left. Since that time,my husband only comes to visit us once a year for the last 15 years. Initially,things were ok but after a few years,I noticed that anytime he comes to visit,we always quarrel about one thing or the other.

Sometimes,when he leaves,we may not speak for months. My children have grown up (15 & 10 years) without really knowing their father. One time he traveled back,he did not come to see the us for almost three years. When he came,he was supposed to stay for 1 month but because of quarrel,he left just after two weeks.

I have been through a lot trying to raise my children by myself. Sometimes he will not send us any money for months. I rely on my salary which is barely enough to sustain us.

Last year,my husband came to see us and for the first time.........


Note:
As Jzhane counselled this lady for over two hrs on phone, I was in tears���. How can a man be so heartless .why put a good woman in such a pain and children.it make you ask so many unanswered questions.




https://livelystones.com.ng/i-put-in-15-years-for-this-marriage-yet-betrayal-was-all-i-got/

No she put herself in pain plz

How?

Rosarie:
No she put herself in pain plz

The story is incomplete

However these are my immediate thoughts

The Mrs should identify the stress points during his visits home and avoid them. She should make the extra efforts to ensure the visits are as pleasant as possible.

I suspect though that the frustration from being apart usually leads to outbursts when he visits.

She will have to find creative ways of chanelling and expressing her frustrations without blow outs!
For the man he may have lost interest in the union and is unable to express this directly.

The children too have in the time spent apart obviously grown up far away from him.

They may seek intervention to discuss grievances and move forward or otherwise amicably

Good luck to them

What you are passing through is normal of the kind of marriage you are into

The constant quarell you are having is because you guys have not lived together for a whole year to understand yourself

He is not really attached to family responsibilities because he doesn't get to see the day to day activities involved in running a normal Nigeria home

He is now use to free life and staying long with you and the kids is a disturbance to his life

I will advice you face your children and make yourself happy and move on

He is happier abroad with his freedom that's why he didn't relocate you guys,

You have to be happier in naija because you are responsible for your own happiness.

Worst case scenario you guys can separate and every one will live peacefully

I repeat, he is not use to running a home,
he is married but living a free life