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What Is Really Going On????? - Family - Nairaland

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What Is Really Going On????? by westerner147: 5:45am On Apr 06, 2019
I will just go straight to the point. I met this church girl about 10years ago during my university days.Two months later we had sex and i didnt hear from her again.She was neither picking my call or acknowledging it. Only for her to call me after 3months that she is pregnant. I said no problem. Meanwhile that year, i do go to a Sunday evening prophetic program.The pastor had told me after prayers not to carry sumone elses load. I was confused, so i invited her over and told her what the pastor said. It was at this point she now opened up that there was another guy she was dating simultaneously and that when she found out she was pregnant she was confused and didnt know the actual person that is responsible. Hence the reason why she wasnt picking my call

We lost contact, i was under the impression the pregnancy belongs to the other person. I graduated, left that city. 9 years later we met on facebook thru a friend after several attempts to reach out to me she says. Anyways she sent me the picture of the girl child she gave birth to, low n behold she is my carbon copy. My sunday evening pastor didnt see the revelation well enuf. grin

I started making plans for wedding. I went to visit her to see her people. During my visit i noticed she and the CAC pastor shes working with as P.A were too close for comfort.

I ask'd directly without mincing words

"are you guys having an affair ?"
She was shocked !
She later confessed saying one time they went for a program at osogbo, and they had sex just one time. In my mind i knew its NOT just a one time thing. I went back to Lagos, only for her to call me saying she was just pulling my legs.

Like seriously shocked,
I know she she must have told the pastor and that one must have brainwashed her to deny it. He prolly must have tot i wud cause problems for him, his family and his fast growing church

Everyone has a past.Okay, whats the way forward?i asked her .She said she loves me. I connected her to a marriage counselor. I had done my own session. The counselor told her that he can see we love each other but his only concern is that she has to break the communication btw her n the CAC pastor, she has to quit her job as his P.A to aviod future occurrence.The counselor said he can see that i have forgiving her but am worried they might continue their illicit affair at every opportunity they get. She fumed up and walked out saying if i cant trust her then i shd forget it

I called her line to talk some sense into her, she continues the cold treatment. The worst part is for the past 3weeks she stopped picking my calls. So now i have stopped calling. What is going on? Could it be she told the pastor "every every" and that one told her she shd stop picking my calls? They are just too close. The man tells her everything, ranging from things church members tell him in confidence to the gory details of a members inability to satisfy his wife..etc

Please matured advice needed. I really need a constructive opinion and/or advice void of sentiments. SOrry for the long post.

1 Like

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by CreepyBlackpool: 6:41am On Apr 06, 2019
She's obviously collecting annointed dick from the pastor and cannot leave that D for anything or anyone, not even you.


Better drop all marriage plans rn!


Just try to take your daughter from her or reach an agreemrnt that lets you see her.

And lets hope pastor is not annointing both mother and daughter

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by Chubhie: 7:38am On Apr 06, 2019
It depends on how much you value a serene, dramaless and peaceful life. Now, if you are the personality that thrives in chaotic free for all environment, wife her with immediate effect and let the drama and chaos she has always brought to your table propel you to greater heights.

What do you really want in/from a woman? Only you can honestly answer this.

4 Likes

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by crackhaus: 7:43am On Apr 06, 2019
I'm sorry, but I'm finding it hard to understand how and why you even thought about getting married to a woman you didn't see or speak to for 9 whole years.

Is this love or duty?

14 Likes

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by bukatyne(f): 9:58am On Apr 06, 2019
crackhaus:
I'm sorry, but I'm finding it hard to understand how and why you even thought about getting married to a woman you didn't see or speak to for 9 whole years.

Is this love or duty?

It is juju grin grin grin

OP, you know what to do, just do it.

1 Like

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by sacx: 11:46am On Apr 06, 2019
Dem don wash this one pishur inside white basin grin. Don't run o

7 Likes

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by westerner147: 12:09pm On Apr 06, 2019
sacx:
Dem don wash this one pishur inside white basin grin. Don't run o

UDONMINIT

1 Like

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by Ishilove: 1:17pm On Apr 06, 2019
Op, your picture is floating somewhere in Bar Beach.

I really wonder at what some of these pastors do. Is it any wonder there is no more genuine revival in today's churches? The altar has been polluted

2 Likes

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by Roland17(m): 1:24pm On Apr 06, 2019
Yanga dey sleep, you dey poke am to wake up. The warning signs are obvious but you are pushing with hopes that she changes. Please do not make a monumental mistake because she is the mother of your child. I will advice that you complete a DNA test to confirm the child actually belongs to you considering the circumstances because looks are not enough.

If you don’t want peace of mind, go ahead and marry her but I will be waiting for your wailing threads. While mutual love is an integral piece in marriage, it is not enough to keep it going. Partners fall out of love at different times in their marriage, it is the zeal, trust, respect, commitment, honesty and other values that help them fall back in love and remain married.

Even if she stops speaking with the pastor, it is just a matter of time before another man enters the picture because she is easily distracted. I know everyone has issues but I always advice people to avoid relationships that come with excessive baggage especially baggages that are unresolved and may not be directly associated with you.

Finally, let me assure you that we all have access to God our father, you don’t need any pastor to give you a ticket to speak to God. Make decisions on your own, after careful evaluations of options because it is your life and you alone will bear the consequences.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by yachal: 1:25pm On Apr 06, 2019
Ishilove:
Op, your picture is floating somewhere in Bar Beach.

I really wonder at what some of these pastors do. Is it any wonder there is no more genuine revival in today's churches? The altar has been polluted

I feel for the op. Pastors are the worst Womanizers. And they usu.don't
allow their concubines/side-chicks go easily.

When confronted, they vehemently deny. May ⚡ fire those randy, unrepentant pastors that defiles the alter . Amen

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by westerner147: 1:32pm On Apr 06, 2019
Roland17:
Yanga dey sleep, you dey poke am to wake up. The warning signs are obvious but you are pushing with hopes that she changes. Please do not make a monumental mistake because she is the mother of your child. I will advice that you complete a DNA test to confirm the child actually belongs to you considering the circumstances because looks are not enough.

If you don’t want peace of mind, go ahead and marry her but I will be waiting for your wailing threads. While mutual love is an integral piece in marriage, it is not enough to keep it going. Partners fall out of love at different times in their marriage, it is the zeal, trust, respect, commitment, honesty and other values that help them fall back in love and remain married.

Even if she stops speaking with the pastor, it is just a matter of time before another man enters the picture because she is easily distracted. I know everyone has issues but I always advice people to avoid relationships that come with excessive baggage especially baggages that are unresolved and may not be directly associated with you.

Finally, let me assure you that we all have access to God our father, you don’t need any pastor to give you a ticket to speak to God. Make decisions on your own, after careful evaluations of options because it is your life and you alone will bear the consequences.


VERy deep.

THankz mehn.


PLease more comments

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by Acidosis(m): 3:06pm On Apr 06, 2019
Are you under a spell? Must you marry her?
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by MrPresident1: 3:24pm On Apr 06, 2019
That the child resembles you means nothing, the resemblance maybe as a result of microchimerism
Use your head

2 Likes

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by LadySarah: 3:49pm On Apr 06, 2019
Husband scarce no be hereo grin grin grin

You mean You will marry her After 9 yrs just because of a daughter?

Very soon we will see,''i'm a popular Nl but i changed My moniker to Ask this question with the caption as,Is My wife cheating on me with a cac pastor?''.

2 Likes

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by Nobody: 5:38pm On Apr 06, 2019
^So funny. @LadySarah
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by light101: 6:26pm On Apr 06, 2019
LadySarah:
Husband scarce no be hereo grin grin grin

You mean You will marry her After 9 yrs just because of a daughter?

Very soon we will see,''i'm a popular Nl but i changed My moniker to Ask this question with the caption as,Is My wife cheating on me with a cac pastor?''.

U bi something else I swear.
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by lanibi(f): 6:57pm On Apr 06, 2019
LadySarah:
Husband scarce no be hereo grin grin grin

You mean You will marry her After 9 yrs just because of a daughter?

Very soon we will see,''i'm a popular Nl but i changed My moniker to Ask this question with the caption as,Is My wife cheating on me with a cac pastor?''.

Very funny grin

I just don't understand what most ladies are turning into these days. Riding on different men shamelessly. No self respect whatsoever. And you dare not say it otherwise you're a hypocrite.


@Op, only you know what you want...

2 Likes

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by sisisioge: 7:45pm On Apr 06, 2019
Your church girl was forking you and another diiixk simultaneously thus confused about the paternity of your child.

Your church girl is presently fooorking a married pastor and won't let go...she might have resumed yours where she stopped too wink

Lorrrd! Even with my worldly eyes...I won't dare do wayo chop another banana simultaneously like that! Gosh...these your churchy girls are legends mehn cool

Whew!

8 Likes

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by westerner147: 8:47pm On Apr 06, 2019
sisisioge:
Your church girl was forking you and another diiixk simultaneously thus confused about the paternity of your child.

Your church girl is presently fooorking a married pastor and won't let go...she might have resumed yours where she stopped too wink

Lorrrd! Even with my worldly eyes...I won't dare do wayo chop another banana simultaneously like that! Gosh...these your churchy girls are legends mehn cool

Whew!

Mehn.. angry
My tired is tired of being tired

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by Hotfreezer: 4:33am On Apr 07, 2019
OP, you want to marry a prostitute because she gave birth for you, abi?

Someone that would sleep with your boss if given the chance. Pm me her number sef let me try my luck.
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by crackhaus: 7:30am On Apr 11, 2019
bukatyne:


It is juju grin grin grin

OP, you know what to do, just do it.
Lol grin
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by missyojo(f): 1:46pm On Apr 11, 2019
Op, I read every bit of your message and I felt bad. I understood you don't want to have a polygamous family hence your reason for wanting to settle down with your baby mama. But with what I read from your point that lady isn't the right person for you. If you try to enforce separation between her and the shameless "pastor" he might go diabolical on you, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Just leave her alone and let her continue enjoying herself with her boss. There would be chaos in your home if you go ahead with her in marriage and thank God you have seen the signs already. Since the child is your carbon copy ensure that you take care of her responsibility, stop calling her and I pray you will find a virtuous woman to call your own soonest.
Cheers!!!
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by aanuoluwami14(f): 4:18pm On Apr 11, 2019
crackhaus:
I'm sorry, but I'm finding it hard to understand how and why you even thought about getting married to a woman you didn't see or speak to for 9 whole years.

Is this love or duty?

I wonder oo, maybe it's a charm on him grin

3 Likes

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by Ishilove: 10:11am On Jun 10, 2021
westerner147:


Mehn, I am worn out

lol@legends
So how did it pan out between you and your fiancee?
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by kkins25(m): 10:33am On Jun 10, 2021
lanibi:


Very funny grin

[s]I just don't understand what most ladies are turning into these days. Riding on different men shamelessly. No self respect whatsoever. And you dare not say it otherwise you're a hypocrite.
[/s]

@Op, only you know what you want...
Dont drag your fellow women, because even if my friend is a notorious fvckboy, i wouldnt drag him. I'd rather drag the opposite gender.

1 Like

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by westerner147: 12:21pm On Jun 12, 2021
Ishilove:

So how did it pan out between you and your fiancee?

hmm..
Let me see grin
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by westerner147: 12:30pm On Jun 12, 2021
LadySarah:
Husband scarce no be hereo grin grin grin

You mean You will marry her After 9 yrs just because of a daughter?

Very soon we will see,''i'm a popular Nl but i changed My moniker to Ask this question with the caption as,Is My wife cheating on me with a cac pastor?''.

Lol
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by westerner147: 12:38pm On Jun 12, 2021
Ishilove:

So how did it pan out between you and your fiancee?


"From the street did she emerge n to the streets she will return.
And I say unto you: she is for the streets.
So be not weary when she must return from whence she came"

I told her bluntly to go. She ain't true. I no wan die before my time

1 Like

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by Ishilove: 1:09pm On Jun 12, 2021
westerner147:



"From the street did she emerge n to the streets she will return.
And I say unto you: she is for the streets.
So be not weary when she must return from whence she came"

On a serious note i told her bluntly to go. She ain't true. I no wan die before my time
Sometimes there is no easy way out when taking tough decisions
Re: What Is Really Going On????? by amokeme(f): 7:45pm On Jun 13, 2021
Forgot resemblance and do a DNA test. After you confirm the child is yours, then your responsibility is to that child not the mother. Your wife is still in front

1 Like

Re: What Is Really Going On????? by westerner147: 3:03pm On Jan 12, 2023
Hotfreezer:
OP, you want to marry a prostitute because she gave birth for you, abi?

Someone that would sleep with your boss if given the chance. Pm me her number sef let me try my luck.

Lol
Man na bahd man cheesy

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