Hi, I never always cherish comedy/jokes , But this one about the Birth machine made me , keep it up

Razorr!

Haba, u wan kill us ni. This is 2 much now, Ki lo de? Ko da bayi o. O ga gan ni o.

In a nutshell, U Cut! sorry Rock!

An Irish Priest has a hen coop with a number of hens and one rooster. One Saturday he goes into the coop to get some eggs, and can't find the rooster. This bothers him because he believes that some people engage in cock fighting in the parish. The priest figures he can find the culprit at mass the next day.

On Sunday, he gets up in the pulpit and
says, 'all of you who have a cock, stand up'!

ALL THE MEN IN THE CHURCH STOOD UP.

'No, no!' says the priest, 'I mean all of you who have seen a cock, please stand up'.

ALL THE WOMEN IN THE CHURCH STOOD UP.

'No, no!', says the priest. 'I mean, all of you who have seen
a cock that doesn't belong to you, stand up'.

HALF OF THE WOMEN IN THE CHURCH STOOD UP.

'No! You still don't understand. All of you who have seen my cock, stand up'.

ALL OF THE NUNS, HALF THE ALTAR BOYS, AND ONE GOAT STOOD UP.

:ojjjjjjesussss.hahahahahaha crazy joke.wat kind of joke is this?. o boy, my intestines are out o, help

someone's gtta hold razor cos she's crazy dudes

@razorr, babe u is the BOMMMOB MEEEEEN, I FELT UR PRESENCE @THE SPORTS BOARD, N TO2MASELF, HRS ONE LADY, FEEELIN U HERE AGAIN, EEN NIM SAYIN 2MASELF THIS MUST BE 1HEEEEEELLL OF A LADY!!!! U r2much, u cut u HOT!!!!!
Kipit up pls
!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@akin007 man nice one really!!

anymore from wr these all comes from abeg oooh, kip it comin in!!

@richyblack i say kip it comin in!!

AHAA MA RIBS NO FIT HOL 2GETHER AGAIN, I DON USE COPPER WIRE JOIN AM, BUT THE TIN NOO SURREEE OHHH COS Y'ALLL ALLZ HOOOOOOOOOOOT!!

SPECIAL APPEAL !!!!!

Please razorr, richyblack, ikemfna, abeg dont stop this particular thread!!
please give some of us sometin more than just job searches to kip comin bak home tonairaland pls

plsssssss

ill contribute too!!

pls kip this thread alive

please does anyone know the phone no, email addy or house addy of razorr, someone need to marry that babe fast and i thin k i should step up to her, sooooooo please help me in sentencing myself to death by laughing, with no ribs left of-course, help me
Yours
Goro

Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!

SHIT!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals assholes workin' there?

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60 !!!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?!

(fuckin' morons)

Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!

Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang.

I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.

However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA!!!

Hamilton, Ontario Canada

damn

double damn

This happened in a barracks, one girl called Pamela was playing with sand outside thier building one morning, one woman was passing by with her little baby on her back (mind u Pamela was like 3 year old) so this woman said to Pamela Pame Pame you no dey go school for the first time Pamela did not respond, d sec time she still did not respond then the third time she responded and her respond was like : in nko? the pikin wey dey your back nko im no dey go school? iyeye woman with im yeye pikin e dey say Pame Pame you no dey go school abeg comot for my front, the woman gently just told her sorry ooooooooooooo and worked away.

clap 4 urself

papa papapa myself

u didnt get it rite dude

lol
there u go again

i go dere again cos dats whre its hapening tonite

TWO DWARFS
Two dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar, they're dazzled by two women, and wind up taking them to their separate rooms.

The first dwarf is disappointed, however, as he's unable to reach a certain physical state that would enable him to join with his date. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of ONE, TWO, THREE, HUH! all night long. all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, How did it go? The first whispers back: It was so embarrassing. The first whispers back: It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection. The second dwarf shook his head. You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't I could even get on the bed!


INTEGRITY
Three explorers are captured by a tribe in the Amazon jungle.The chief is going to punish the intruders.He calls the first explorer to the front of the tribe and asks, "Death or Booka?!". Well the explorer doesn't want to die, so he opts for booka.The tribe starts screaming BOOKA! and dancing around. and dancing around. the cheif then rips the explorers pants off and bleeps him in the ass. The CHIEF then rips the explorers pants off and bleeps him in the ass.

The cheif calls the second explorer to the front and asks, "Death or Booka?!". The CHIEF calls the second explorer to the front and asks, "Death or Booka?!". Well not wanting to die either, he opts for booka. Well not wanting to die either, he opts for booka.The tribe again starts screaming BOOKA!and dancing around.The CHIEF rips the second guys pants off and bleeps him in the ass.

The chief calls the third explorer to the front and asks, "Death or Booka?!".Well the third guy has a little more self respect and thinks death would be better than being violated in front of hundreds of tribesman, so he opts for death.The chief turns to the tribe and screams "DEATH BY BOOKA!"


Mother and Kids

One day, a family of a mother and two boys, Timmy and Tommy, were riding in their car on the way to church. Timmy leaner over, smacked Tommy across the head, and Tommy yelled out "Ouch you fucking self-servicer!" later that day in church, the mom went to talk to the priest. later that day in church, the mom went to talk to the priest. she said "Father, my boys just won't stop swearing and I don't know what to do. the priest says "Well, have you tried smacking them?she said "No, does not the church look down on that?"Well, yes, but in some cases we'll make an exception.
The next day, the two boys come down for breakfast and she asks Tommy what he wants for breakfast. Tommy says Tommy says "Well, gimme some fucking waffles." The mom backhands Tommy so hard, he flies out of his chair and lands against the door. shocked and terrified by this, Timmy becomes very quiet.his mother asks him what he wants for breakfast, and his reply was "Well you can bet your sweet ass I don't want no fucking waffles!"

hahaha nice one there

Loving you Isn't the right thing to do How can I Ever change things that I feel? If I could Maybe I'd give you my world How can I When you won't take it from me?