Yes I really want a family and will rather come here amidst you all my people than chat online with stranger people. I am in my thirties, love children very much. It's too lonely out here and I long for a companion to love and be loved too. I am a decent person and honestly don't want to live that life of sleeping with different people. One man is all I have ever wanted in my life and I have waited real long for him to come along.
I know that when people open their heart here in NL like this that they are bound to receive duifferent shades of things ranging from insult to abuse, please I really don't need that. I didn't swallow my pride and open myself here to receive those so if you must have fun here do but don't abuse or insult, don't quarrel too. You are welcome to my humble thread. njideoko@yahoo.com

what's ur age specifically? Are you closer to 40 than 30?

Hmmn, goodluck in your search but why did you have to use a new username.

davidylan:

what's your age specifically? Are you closer to 40 than 30?

@Davidylan
There are nicer ways to ask that, how about rephrasing that question? Even if I am yearning much for a family, for the sake of my dignity and the dignity of other single Nigerian women, I can't answer a question phrased like that. No offense meant, thanks.

Yeah, here i am for you! Hook up with me.

My dear I know how you must be feeling, but please try not to be desperate or you end up choosing the wrong man. Eni pe je o ki je ibaje

Rather than moping about things, try and involve yourself in other things such as a evening course, even if its a singing or flower arranging class, church programmes (not just your at your church), work outings with your collegues, join a gym, you can also help to volunteer in a charity shop etc.

When your mind is off things, you will find that you are not so tense and remember loves comes knocking anytime & anyhow so be open. Be sure of the kind of qualities you are looking for in a man (At your age I expect you to be able to discern what are important qualities and what are just vanity qualities) & please please please, set your standard and dont settle for second best.

Always have a smile on your face and be approachable. Some womens  faces & attitude when they see a man approaching are enough to scare even the most vocal man away. Wear nice sensual perfume and wear nice hairstyles. Adopt a clean & simple but very elegant look. For some bizarre reason men tend to notice long curly hair. . . . . well my male work colleagues do anyway

Lower your tone of voice and put some mystery around you. Educate yourself on important current news/current affairs/ technology/football etc so that even if a man does come up to you, you can keep him interested in a discussion with you.

Also when you go to parties/functions etc, do not stand in a group of women, try and stand or sit alone or as a pair max. A man has a better chance of approaching a lone woman than a woman as part of a group of 6 women.

I pray that you find your bone of your bone very soon. It is well.

thank you so much for this advice

@ chaircover

good tips. OP take note

dont even appear to be that desperate cos you will attract the expressway kind of men aka chop,clean mouth and move-on.

good-luck

dear op i can imagine how you feel.I think chaicover basically covered it let me just add this dnt ever settle for less you would have settled for lesser than you thought.
Always look good and feel good somehow pips are able to sense someone that feels good abt herself,

@Poster,have u thought of changing enviroment or relocating?
Chaircover said it all.Set standards but make sure u are up to whatever standard u set . .
Goodluck

Thanks everybody and Miss Chaircover thanks a million. I respect you very much, try not to misunderstand this okay.

I hereby declare the thread closed so comments are no longer needed.
Why is it that each time a lady opens up about the desires of her heart here in Nairaland she either gets mocked, insulted, laughed at and carelessly talked to by the guys(and God help you if you are approaching forty for you will get laughed and even called such names as Aunty) or get told by the ladies in the comfort of their matrimonial homes to quit being desperate. When are we going to become a sensitive people that respect the most delicate feelings of others. Is it not our culture that made it that a lady has to be married by a man and not vice versa so why do some of us mock such ladies in that circumstance. The ladies that go "here comes a desperate one", do you know what it feels like for a full blooded thirty something lady (that truly longs for family life because it isn't all singles that desire that much) to be alone. You definitely do not know and what such needs is simply encouragement. If I am desperate I will not be here looking please, I would have married anybody that asks. I am here to see whether I can hook up with a responsible person not out of desperation. I want a family and I am not desperate. I know what is coming next for daring to stand up for myself, I know some quick to accuse ones here will start their own on "how dare you talk like that, this is why you are not married". They can go on and have their fun because I am on my way out of the thread. If I did not achieve anything here, I am glad that I had the opportunity to mention this so that other single ladies can at least get a little more respect here in NL. Thanks everybody. THREAD CLOSED!