Shiting is life - anywhere, anytime.

But some say the best place they think is the toilet.

Not in my Papa's toilet!

Let the back of the toilet be on the ground, and the door will be a rectangular cover. The door have never stayed on the hinges, not even the day it was built.

The only goal was to mail the president, like we used to say. No time to think or fantasize about Caribbean romance with that fine girl at the street-end.

'Mene mene, taka taka' the wooden floor will squeak. You'd be scared you'd fall inside any second, and start planning how to climb out full of shit.

Damn the day the shit is as solid as a rock, refusing exit despite your anus tearing apart. Then you sing 'Goody goody, let me poo-poo', in Bini, of course.

And the flies. It's the buzzing stupid sound they make that annoys. They don't make it anywhere, but close to the ears. You dare not try to kill any. The pit's usually more than 16ft deep.

The smell of generations of shit. How the hell are you going to enjoy your time in there? Not even when you're on shiting spree.

Then cistern, borehole and floor tiles came. Sick arrangement.

What's the fun in shiting in a place that'd pass for a bedroom?

No flies to render melody. The cracking wooden floors aren't there to dare. The sight of the dusty brown decaying shit inside the pit is absent. Not even the pleasure of wiping your anus with dry plantain leaves and throwing it down to the pit of shit.

Modern-day shiting is boring.

Take me back, please.