Could suicide be the best?
How I wish I'm all knowing!
How I wish I could foresee the aftermath
How I wish I know what is of the dead!
Could suicide be the best?, Suicide is an option.
Is this life worth living?
Is it worth all the stress?
Why all these suffering, and what keeps us suffering?
Is there an end to this?
It seems am tired.
It appears I cannot move on again!
I want all these to end
I don't want these feelings again
I weep that all these are gone and no more
That I have peace of mind and rest.
That I stop this existence of mine.
Who even brought me to this evil and bad world?
Did I ever negotiate for this?
If the person that brought me here has failed to come take me back, I think I have to end this myself.
No I have to end this life. is an option!
A life without hope, life full of pain, life full of worries, a life without help from any angle, a life that everyone dessert you.
Everything falls apart everytime, I'm tired of crying to the unknown! I'm tired of believing that there is God somewhere. I have to kill myself, I have to end all these. No I have to as no one is ready to hear my pain. No one is ready to help, many people smiles at me yet there is no friend. Who do I blam, are the people the reason for my plight?
No compassion from family, none from friends. The society is an enemy. I locked myself up in the room, even the walls have turned enemies, the roof refuses to comfort me, I think it's tired of tolerating my tears. A flash back to where I think i started this life and it is but a mess. Looking forward brings fear and a dark future. The dominant thought in my mind is that I have the power, the will, the strength and little time it takes to end all these at once. Shall I deprive myself the freedom? Trying to create a perfect future ends in the same story of disappointment and bad omen. I have no friend, I have no best family, even I'm an enemy of myself. Everything is falling apart! I have to kill myself and now is the time!
Oh! I have another fear, a pain in my soul! I don't know what the dead feels. Is it better over there or worse? How will I answer this? I'm tired of this world but I don't know what await me over there. Who will fetch me the answer I need? Is there a perfect place better than this world? How will I kill myself if am unsure of the other world? What is there after death! Who will give me reasons to live and to keep pushing? Wait, do you think I'm making the right choice by ending my own life? If you think am wrong, have you ever lived without hope? Have everything ever gone wrong for you? If yes, tell me your escapade. Mine will kill me if I try to tell.
Heart break from lovers, failure from teachers, disappointment from friends cum family. Employee's frustration, no food on the table, no money at hand or in bank, no source of income, expenses float on the face of my life. Yesterday was bad , today seems worse, tomorrow is uncertain for there is no hope. Friends unhave enemies unknown. To save myself is to end it today I can't live to see such torment!
This misery is my torment. It has succeeded happening to my life. It drained me of faith and made me a prey. My walls are conquered and shrouded in fallen state. Oh! What a shame. Now, shall I use a knife or gun? Jump from a height? Get run over? Or drink sniper?
Not that I am scared of death, rather I'm scared of all that awaits me in the world I have no clue of!

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