Praise the Lord,” the pastor shouted.

“Hallelujah,” screamed the congregation.

“Now is the time for offering. Offering time…”

“Blessing time,” replied the congregation.

“Choir, give us a song.”

Ko so ba bi re
Ko si baba bi ire
Ko ma so Olorun bi ire
Igwe...
E ba mi gbe Olorun tobi...

The congregation stood up and danced while the ushers passed the offering basket. It was a rich church with a rich pastor and a mostly rich congregation. The least amount of offering donated by an individual was 200 naira. After this, the pastor prayed for the offering.

The same thing happened for Building offering, Development offering, Miscellaneous offering, Love offering, Peace offering and so on. The members of the congregation donated enthusiastically. They were doing it all for God.

“Right now, it is time for voluntary donation. Today is the last Sunday in the month of June. No amount is too small for God. Even if you have 5 naira, it is acceptable.” Some of the congregation members rejected that last statement by snapping their fingers over their heads.

“Remember the story of the poor woman in the bible who donated her last possessions. Do it for God and the development of the church. Not only for the church alone, but also the less privileged.”

People began to come out to donate. Some donated 2million naira, some donated 1 million, some 900 thousand naira. The least was 100 thousand naira. Michael Makinwa donated 800,000.” Some paid in cash while others dropped cheques.

Immediately after collection, ten masked men rushed inside, heavily armed. They placed themselves into the four entrances of the church. They pushed back those who tried to escape waving their automatic weapons. It was the beginning of The Church Robbery.

A single man walked lazily up to the altar with a small pistol. “Happy Sunday, my people. We are a group of people who need resources. We have been fasting and praying for three days now. Yesterday, we heard a voice that said, ‘Go to the church. Go to the church.’ And here we are.”

“This is a sacrilege!” The pastor fumed. “You will incur the wrath of God!”

The leader looked surprised. “Calm down sir. We have been sent by angels and we are ready to shoot anyone who tries to stop this.”

“God will punish you for this,” the pastor continued.

The man faced the trembling congregation. “Church, tell your pastor to keep quiet or I go shoot am.”

“Pastor, please,” the congregation begged.

“The bible says, Touch not my anointed and…”

The leader smashed his pistol into the pastor’s face. He went down without a sound. “Nawa o. Some people like preaching sha. In the face of a live gun, he still dey preach.


The robbers went to work. They picked up all the cash and left the cheques. As they walked out, the leader said, “Begin to pray. Tell God to keep you from screaming until we have left.”

Immediately they left the church, Michael Makinwa stood up. He was dressed in a white native attire and a pair of white shoes. He ran outside after the robbers. Michael saw them piling into a bus and on the body of the bus was written the name of a church. Makinwa knew it was meant to confuse any policeman.

He ran to his car and saw that the tires had been slashed. He checked other cars and saw that their tires had all been slashed. Wow, they are thorough. He called his secretary and asked her to use satellite to track his location and call the cops.

He stepped outside the gate and pressed a button located on top of his shoes and he became taller as rollers appeared under his shoes. His shoes had become skating shoes.

He zoomed off after the robbers’ bus. His shoes had speed and could move automatically. He had spent a fortune on them because he loved gadgets.

He dodged okadas, trailers, jeeps and cars as he sped after the robbers. The occupants of the vehicles cursed him angrily.

The occupants of the bus saw him coming. “Who is that idiot skating after us?” One of the robbers asked.

One of them brought out his gun and fired at Makinwa who dodged. He brought out a pen and aimed it at the tires of the bus. The pen was a kind of weapon. The tires burst with a loud hiss and the bus crashed into a shop.

As the robbers rushed out of the bus, Makinwa dived towards them and crashed his skating shoes against the heads of three men. A man smashed a kick at his head but with the aid of the shoes, he bent, turned around and smashed his own kick at the man’s head. Four down.

Another man fired at his head but he dodged sideways and gave the man an uppercut. He punched another in the stomach, another in the balls. Then he banged another’s head against the door of the bus and smashed his knee against another’s nose.

He grabbed the leader who screamed, “Who the hell are you?”

“I am angel Michael. Never touch the Lord’s anointed ever again.” He punched the man in the stomach. As he doubled, he followed it with an uppercut. The man fell backwards.

The police arrived but Makinwa was already gone. He returned the offerings to the pastor who prayed for him.


N.B: The Church Robbery is a fiction of the writer’s imagination. I have no idea if something like that has ever happened before.

Source: https://opinionsandstories.com/the-church-robbery-a-gadgetman-series/