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What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? - Family - Nairaland

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What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 8:02pm On Aug 12, 2019
Do you know of a marriage that has withstood the test of time, lasting forty years or longer? Do you know a couple that has been together so long they have taken on each other’s characteristics? Have you heard of a spouse passing away, only to have the healthy spouse fall into decline soon after? The two had become one.

In Ephesians 5:31, Paul quotes Genesis 2:24, explaining God’s design for marriage from the beginning: a covenant relationship that reflects Jesus and his love for the church. Jesus laid down his life for us in love, and he asks us to do likewise.

It can be easy to read this portion of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians and hone in on what our spouse should or should not do. But his point was not to give us ammunition for judgment. Paul begins by calling spouses to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). There are no qualifying conditions not even to submit only if one’s spouse does the same.

When we marry, we enter into a covenant relationship. Each spouse has a role in this holy union, but if we become more focused on our unmet needs or our struggles, the union suffers. Marriages impacted by disability may be more susceptible to having unclear roles, and...
Find out more...
https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/what-is-disability-facing-your-marriage.html?m=1
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by bluebay(m): 8:10pm On Aug 12, 2019
My woman is stubborn barely listen to simple instructing but rather offend you and say Sorry .

3 Likes

Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 5:36am On Aug 13, 2019
bluebay:
My woman is stubborn barely listen to simple instructing but rather offend you and say Sorry .

For how long has she been doing it?
I have heard people saying that "you will know the true nature or characters of your partner when they're angry or when there's disappointment"
She maybe doing it to be sure of who you are and how you react to situations.

If none of the above, call her attention when you guys are alone, with love voice, try let her know the danger involved when she defaults your instructions, look into her eyes like you do when you want to appreciate her love, as her to tell you what she's facing emotionally, make her to understand why she should share them with you.

Don't be harsh on her, don't fight or abuse her.
Her imperfections makes you perfect and your imperfections make her to be perfect somewhere too.
No man is perfect

Let's discuss
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by bluebay(m): 8:05am On Aug 13, 2019
Allsingles:


For how long has she been doing it?
I have heard people saying that "you will know the true nature or characters of your partner when they're angry or when there's disappointment"
She maybe doing it to be sure of who you are and how you react to situations.

If none of the above, call her attention when you guys are alone, with love voice, try let her know the danger involved when she defaults your instructions, look into her eyes like you do when you want to appreciate her love, as her to tell you what she's facing emotionally, make her to understand why she should share them with you.

Don't be harsh on her, don't fight or abuse her.
Her imperfections makes you perfect and your imperfections make her to be perfect somewhere too.
No man is perfect

Let's discuss





Good morning
And thanks for the respond . Actually, she already have a son for me and am planning for the marriage this November but to be honest, am feeling discourage for her character . Am a Yoruba boy and she’s Urhobo, Am from a polygamous home and I must tell you that the second wife, which happened to be the urhobo ruined the family and brought my father the level he is now and that’s what made my Mother dislikes the urhobo. At first, my mother rejected and forbided me from having an urhobo lady but it took me a whole
Year to convince her . But now, am beginning to see similar character in her for she easily raises her voice at me, she hisses at me over little issues, she barely listen to what I instruct her to do but rather, do what pleases her . I’ve been tempted several times to let my hands on her but I just ignore and this makes me a weaker man everyday to the extend if I instruct her to do something, she just shouts at me and I keep quiet like a bitch. Please help .

1 Like

Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Katier00(f): 8:36am On Aug 13, 2019
Lack of communication. I can't communicate my utmost need or desire to my partner
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by sisisioge: 9:05am On Aug 13, 2019
Katier00:
Lack of communication. I can't communicate my utmost need or desire to my partner

Why not? He scares you? Just look at him in the eyes and talk...he's your love baby wink
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by sisisioge: 9:07am On Aug 13, 2019
bluebay:
My woman is stubborn barely listen to simple instructing but rather offend you and say Sorry .

Why are you doling out instructions to a grown woman? No wonder, she's defiant. It will end well for you if you learn how to communicate with your partner without seemingly instructing her grin

3 Likes

Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 10:04am On Aug 13, 2019
bluebay:


Good morning
And thanks for the respond . Actually, she already have a son for me and am planning for the marriage this November but to be honest, am feeling discourage for her character . Am a Yoruba boy and she’s Urhobo, Am from a polygamous home and I must tell you that the second wife, which happened to be the urhobo ruined the family and brought my father the level he is now and that’s what made my Mother dislikes the urhobo. At first, my mother rejected and forbided me from having an urhobo lady but it took me a whole
Year to convince her . But now, am beginning to see similar character in her for she easily raises her voice at me, she hisses at me over little issues, she barely listen to what I instruct her to do but rather, do what pleases her . I’ve been tempted several times to let my hands on her but I just ignore and this makes me a weaker man everyday to the extend if I instruct her to do something, she just shouts at me and I keep quiet like a bitch. Please help .


The disability I found in your union with her is home training.
The fact that your Dad married urhobo and she is not okay for the family doesn't mean that every woman from that particular area is bad.
The disability I found in your union with her, like I said earlier is home training.
She lack that due to how she was brought up in her family.

Solution.
Marriage is more than giving birth to children.
Marriage is more than having sex.
Marriage is more than holding hands together while walking down the street.
Marriage is more than eating from the same plate as husband and wife.
Marriage is more of friendship, more of heart to heart talk which brings the couple together on daily basis.
Marriage is more of respect, humility, honor to each other and then love.
From what you have seen in her recently regarding her character, do you think you can cope?
Do you think you can endure?
Raising your hands against your woman brings you down to nothing, it will drag your respect on the express road of Lagos so please don't fight her, I like yourself control in that.
If you think you can't cope, then she should excuse you, i know you love her but marriage is a world of it's own and life of it's own. Is not just about today but in the next few years to come, will you regret getting married to her or will you be happy you married her?
If you think you will regret based on her character now, then please let her go because a broken Relationship is far more better than broken Marriage.
Discover God's design for love
https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/discover-gods-design-for-love-you.html?m=1
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 10:24am On Aug 13, 2019
Katier00:
Lack of communication. I can't communicate my utmost need or desire to my partner

Your challenge is that you are feeling insecure with him.
You think you are not fully accepted by him.
You think he doesn't really love you.
Is he open minded?
Does he have the qualities you desire in the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Does he care and give you the attention you want as his woman?
Insecurity will make you not to enjoy the union as you are supposed to.
Insecurity will steal the love you have for him and keep it hiding and this will affect the greatness of your union with him.
If he has the qualities of the man you want to spend your life with, please give him the chance to proof it to you so you can enjoy him.

Insecurity also some time is caused by the ugly experience of past relationships especially when you give in everything for the Relationship to work out well for you guys but later were rejected by him.
Be open with him, make him to see and understand that you mean well for the Relationship and you will enjoy him.
Let's discuss

https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/discover-gods-design-for-love-you.html?m=1
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Nobody: 10:39am On Aug 13, 2019
...

Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by bluebay(m): 11:10am On Aug 13, 2019
Allsingles:



The disability I found in your union with her is home training.
The fact that your Dad married urhobo and she is not okay for the family doesn't mean that every woman from that particular area is bad.
The disability I found in your union with her, like I said earlier is home training.
She lack that due to how she was brought up in her family.

Solution.
Marriage is more than giving birth to children.
Marriage is more than having sex.
Marriage is more than holding hands together while walking down the street.
Marriage is more than eating from the same plate as husband and wife.
Marriage is more of friendship, more of heart to heart talk which brings the couple together on daily basis.
Marriage is more of respect, humility, honor to each other and then love.
From what you have seen in her recently regarding her character, do you think you can cope?
Do you think you can endure?
Raising your hands against your woman brings you down to nothing, it will drag your respect on the express road of Lagos so please don't fight her, I like yourself control in that.
If you think you can't cope, then she should excuse you, i know you love her but marriage is a world of it's own and life of it's own. Is not just about today but in the next few years to come, will you regret getting married to her or will you be happy you married her?
If you think you will regret based on her character now, then please let her go because a broken Relationship is far more better than broken Marriage.
Discover God's design for love
https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/discover-gods-design-for-love-you.html?m=1

Thank you very much. I do love her but it’s fading away due to those character of hers. I now derive pleasure giving her money to go visit her parents so I’ll be all alone at home. My family already asking questions of her always going to see her parents almost everyb2 weeks and they aren’t happy with it but they don’t k ow I’m behind it just because I wan peace of mind like I am right now. All alone at home.
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Katier00(f): 11:44am On Aug 13, 2019
sisisioge:


Why not? He scares you? Just look at him in the eyes and talk...he's your love baby wink
you eh
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 12:20pm On Aug 13, 2019
bluebay:


Thank you very much. I do love her but it’s fading away due to those character of hers. I now derive pleasure giving her money to go visit her parents so I’ll be all alone at home. My family already asking questions of her always going to see her parents almost everyb2 weeks and they aren’t happy with it but they don’t k ow I’m behind it just because I wan peace of mind like I am right now. All alone at home.

It's alright.
You can now look for someone that will fill in the vacuum in your heart so the memories will not hurt you.
Congratulations in advance.
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 5:10pm On Aug 13, 2019
Katier00:
Lack of communication. I can't communicate my utmost need or desire to my partner

Here is how to deal with it.

No Room for Fear
Disability can provide fertile ground for fear—fear about the future, fear of becoming a burden, fear of pain and suffering.

Yet John, the beloved disciple, teaches us that God’s perfect love casts out all fear. The Bible says “fear not,” over and over—365 times, to be exact. Why? Because when fear is present, we are not living out the love that flows from our faith in God or trusting the One who is in control of all our circumstances.

How do we live secure in his perfect love? Movies, television shows, and popular music portray love as a feeling. It is . . . and it’s not—love is more often a choice that we must make many times a day. We can decide to trust God with the what-ifs that plague our minds, or we can take those thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). If we trust God to deal with sin in a spouse’s life, we will be able to respond with kindness and compassion instead of anger.

The more we strive to live out God’s perfect love instead of our own fear, the more freedom we find. Fear keeps us in bondage. Paul teaches in...
https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/what-are-fear-you-are-facing-in.html?m=1
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by nams77: 5:38pm On Aug 13, 2019
bluebay:


Good morning
And thanks for the respond . Actually, she already have a son for me and am planning for the marriage this November but to be honest, am feeling discourage for her character . Am a Yoruba boy and she’s Urhobo, Am from a polygamous home and I must tell you that the second wife, which happened to be the urhobo ruined the family and brought my father the level he is now and that’s what made my Mother dislikes the urhobo. At first, my mother rejected and forbided me from having an urhobo lady but it took me a whole
Year to convince her . But now, am beginning to see similar character in her for she easily raises her voice at me, she hisses at me over little issues, she barely listen to what I instruct her to do but rather, do what pleases her . I’ve been tempted several times to let my hands on her but I just ignore and this makes me a weaker man everyday to the extend if I instruct her to do something, she just shouts at me and I keep quiet like a bitch. Please help .
Better you back out now. Thank me later
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Glink2018(m): 5:53pm On Aug 13, 2019
Thank God I'm not married yet...

No woman , no cry
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by bluebay(m): 10:48am On Aug 18, 2019
Allsingles:


It's alright.
You can now look for someone that will fill in the vacuum in your heart so the memories will not hurt you.
Congratulations in advance.
Good morning and I hope this message Met you well. Am writing you this morning for I need your advice on what to do.
Yesterday was my birthday and I don’t have funds to celebrate it for what was left on me was used to buy my baby food yesterday and pay for my DSTV subscription because of my wife and son. I was indoor till in the evening yesterday when few of my friends asked me to meet them up at a small hotel/bar not far from the house. About 5minutes strolling . I met them and they took me unaware and started buying drinks and celebrating with me. I then called my Neighbour to help me wife refill the generator and tell her to meet me at the hotel, but she said she’s can’t come .
To cut the story short, It was around 10:30 when she called me and she started yelling and calling me all names, saying I left her in hunger in the house with just bread to eat. My mistake was that I sent the boy to help me buy sandine and breverages but the boy was too tipsy to even walk home so I had it with me hoping to quickly discharge my friends and get home. It was past 11 pm they left and I walked home. It’s wasnt an easy thing sir . She yelled, insulted me so much and using all provocative words like (I just completed 30 but am still senseless). It got out of control that I had to slap her and behold, she go wild. Pushed me down to the ground, smashed my phone and woke up our son. I rushed in to carry him coz he started crating but my wife to be, dragged him from me and the next minutes, she dropped her on the ground with full force and wanted to fight. My heart melted for I saw my boy crying and staring at us. She said all sort of word to me and I think I have to let her go. Am planning for her marriage this November and the bills are so much and i’m Working Towards it but I’ve been asking myself if it work it now ... You remember to told you the other time I derive pleasure in giving her money to visit her people all because I want peace of mind, you won’t believe it wasn’t up to 5 minutes she came and she started another quarrel... At this moment, I don’t know if it’s love or stupidity and undergoing but one thing for sure, am not happy in this relationship.
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by ahnie(f): 3:59pm On Aug 18, 2019
Allsingles:


It's alright.
You can now look for someone that will fill in the vacuum in your heart so the memories will not hurt you.
Congratulations in advance.
I don't totally agree with this.... you just suceeded ruining this relationship.

1 Like

Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by ahnie(f): 4:09pm On Aug 18, 2019
bluebay:

Good morning and I hope this message Met you well. Am writing you this morning for I need your advice on what to do.
Yesterday was my birthday and I don’t have funds to celebrate it for what was left on me was used to buy my baby food yesterday and pay for my DSTV subscription because of my wife and son. I was indoor till in the evening yesterday when few of my friends asked me to meet them up at a small hotel/bar not far from the house. About 5minutes strolling . I met them and they took me unaware and started buying drinks and celebrating with me. I then called my Neighbour to help me wife refill the generator and tell her to meet me at the hotel, but she said she’s can’t come .
To cut the story short, It was around 10:30 when she called me and she started yelling and calling me all names, saying I left her in hunger in the house with just bread to eat. My mistake was that I sent the boy to help me buy sandine and breverages but the boy was too tipsy to even walk home so I had it with me hoping to quickly discharge my friends and get home. It was past 11 pm they left and I walked home. It’s wasnt an easy thing sir . She yelled, insulted me so much and using all provocative words like (I just completed 30 but am still senseless). It got out of control that I had to slap her and behold, she go wild. Pushed me down to the ground, smashed my phone and woke up our son. I rushed in to carry him coz he started crating but my wife to be, dragged him from me and the next minutes, she dropped her on the ground with full force and wanted to fight. My heart melted for I saw my boy crying and staring at us. She said all sort of word to me and I think I have to let her go. Am planning for her marriage this November and the bills are so much and i’m Working Towards it but I’ve been asking myself if it work it now ... You remember to told you the other time I derive pleasure in giving her money to visit her people all because I want peace of mind, you won’t believe it wasn’t up to 5 minutes she came and she started another quarrel... At this moment, I don’t know if it’s love or stupidity and undergoing but one thing for sure, am not happy in this relationship.
Hello ..so sorry to read what transpired btw you guys as written up there.
I believe you can still Savage this relationship...
You saw something in her before you seek her out in the first place.

Talk to her,heart to heart...from what I picked from your narrative are...

Because of what the urhobo ex-wife of your father did you secretly harbor that resentment towards her.but it's glaring that you have her attention at heart.
I'm isoko/urhobo we're naturally heady...but please seat her down and talk to her.. she's your wife.

Forget all these online vendors...
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 4:59pm On Aug 18, 2019
ahnie:

I don't totally agreed with this.... you just suceeded ruining this relationship.

Good afternoon,
Can you please tell me where I committed the offense, it can be fixed
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by sacx: 5:13pm On Aug 18, 2019
bluebay:

Good morning and I hope this message Met you well. Am writing you this morning for I need your advice on what to do.
Yesterday was my birthday and I don’t have funds to celebrate it for what was left on me was used to buy my baby food yesterday and pay for my DSTV subscription because of my wife and son. I was indoor till in the evening yesterday when few of my friends asked me to meet them up at a small hotel/bar not far from the house. About 5minutes strolling . I met them and they took me unaware and started buying drinks and celebrating with me. I then called my Neighbour to help me wife refill the generator and tell her to meet me at the hotel, but she said she’s can’t come .
To cut the story short, It was around 10:30 when she called me and she started yelling and calling me all names, saying I left her in hunger in the house with just bread to eat. My mistake was that I sent the boy to help me buy sandine and breverages but the boy was too tipsy to even walk home so I had it with me hoping to quickly discharge my friends and get home. It was past 11 pm they left and I walked home. It’s wasnt an easy thing sir . She yelled, insulted me so much and using all provocative words like (I just completed 30 but am still senseless). It got out of control that I had to slap her and behold, she go wild. Pushed me down to the ground, smashed my phone and woke up our son. I rushed in to carry him coz he started crating but my wife to be, dragged him from me and the next minutes, she dropped her on the ground with full force and wanted to fight. My heart melted for I saw my boy crying and staring at us. She said all sort of word to me and I think I have to let her go. Am planning for her marriage this November and the bills are so much and i’m Working Towards it but I’ve been asking myself if it work it now ... You remember to told you the other time I derive pleasure in giving her money to visit her people all because I want peace of mind, you won’t believe it wasn’t up to 5 minutes she came and she started another quarrel... At this moment, I don’t know if it’s love or stupidity and undergoing but one thing for sure, am not happy in this relationship.

Take a break; get separated for a while so you can find time to reassess and see if you want to continue with this thing. You are already on the path towards domestic violence. It's better you go your separate ways now than get married and end up killing someone's daughter.

The poster above is another stubborn urhobo/isoko woman. Make una dey hear word.

3 Likes

Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Ishilove: 5:22pm On Aug 18, 2019
bluebay:

Good morning and I hope this message Met you well. Am writing you this morning for I need your advice on what to do.
Yesterday was my birthday and I don’t have funds to celebrate it for what was left on me was used to buy my baby food yesterday and pay for my DSTV subscription because of my wife and son. I was indoor till in the evening yesterday when few of my friends asked me to meet them up at a small hotel/bar not far from the house. About 5minutes strolling . I met them and they took me unaware and started buying drinks and celebrating with me. I then called my Neighbour to help me wife refill the generator and tell her to meet me at the hotel, but she said she’s can’t come .
To cut the story short, It was around 10:30 when she called me and she started yelling and calling me all names, saying I left her in hunger in the house with just bread to eat. My mistake was that I sent the boy to help me buy sandine and breverages but the boy was too tipsy to even walk home so I had it with me hoping to quickly discharge my friends and get home. It was past 11 pm they left and I walked home. It’s wasnt an easy thing sir . She yelled, insulted me so much and using all provocative words like (I just completed 30 but am still senseless). It got out of control that I had to slap her and behold, she go wild. Pushed me down to the ground, smashed my phone and woke up our son. I rushed in to carry him coz he started crating but my wife to be, dragged him from me and the next minutes, she dropped her on the ground with full force and wanted to fight. My heart melted for I saw my boy crying and staring at us. She said all sort of word to me and I think I have to let her go. Am planning for her marriage this November and the bills are so much and i’m Working Towards it but I’ve been asking myself if it work it now ... You remember to told you the other time I derive pleasure in giving her money to visit her people all because I want peace of mind, you won’t believe it wasn’t up to 5 minutes she came and she started another quarrel... At this moment, I don’t know if it’s love or stupidity and undergoing but one thing for sure, am not happy in this relationship.
Oga shey you know that marriage is supposed to be for life? You are giving her money to leave the house every two weeks so you can have peace, but what happens after you get married and you no longer have any excuses? You will just die before your time.

Remain there make pant dey wear you. Mscheeeeeeeew angry

4 Likes

Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Ishilove: 5:29pm On Aug 18, 2019
ahnie:

Hello ..so sorry to read what transpired btw you guys as written up there.
I believe you can still Savage this relationship...
You saw something in her before you seek her out in the first place.

Talk to her,heart to heart...from what I picked from your narrative are...

Because of what the urhobo ex-wife of your father did you secretly harbor that resentment towards her.but it's glaring that you have her attention at heart.
I'm isoko/urhobo we're naturally heady...but please seat her down and talk to her.. she's your wife.

Forget all these online vendors...
Aunty, she is NOT his wife. She is his baby mama.

Being heady is different fron being disrespectful. I am stubborn too but I personally avoid verbally abusing my partner as much as possible because I respect him too much. This guy's woman is disrespectful and marriage is not going to change her. It's only going to make her totally unrestrained.

Their relationship is toxic and I will not advice my own brother to remain in such.

I repeat, STUBBORNNESS IS NO EXCUSE FOR DISRESPECT

5 Likes

Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by ahnie(f): 5:37pm On Aug 18, 2019
Ishilove:

Aunty, she is NOT his wife. She is his baby mama.

Being heady is different fron being disrespectful. I am stubborn too but I personally avoid verbally abusing my partner as much as possible because I respect him too much. This guy's woman is disrespectful and marriage is not going to change her. It's only going to make her totally unrestrained.

Their relationship is toxic and I will not advice my own brother to remain in such.

I repeat, STUBBORNNESS IS NO EXCUSE FOR DISRESPECT
My fellow AUNTY in the Lord..I guess I skipped the Bm part.error on my part.

Happy Sunday!
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Efewestern: 5:46pm On Aug 18, 2019
bluebay:


Good morning
And thanks for the respond . Actually, she already have a son for me and am planning for the marriage this November but to be honest, am feeling discourage for her character . Am a Yoruba boy and she’s Urhobo, Am from a polygamous home and I must tell you that the second wife, which happened to be the urhobo ruined the family and brought my father the level he is now and that’s what made my Mother dislikes the urhobo. At first, my mother rejected and forbided me from having an urhobo lady but it took me a whole
Year to convince her . But now, am beginning to see similar character in her for she easily raises her voice at me, she hisses at me over little issues, she barely listen to what I instruct her to do but rather, do what pleases her . I’ve been tempted several times to let my hands on her but I just ignore and this makes me a weaker man everyday to the extend if I instruct her to do something, she just shouts at me and I keep quiet like a bitch. Please help .

You are making it sound more like a tribal thing than a personal trait, which is not true, Ladies from that part of the world are great.

I think you guys lack understanding, you just narrated how you got into a fight with her because you left her hungry (Which wasn't your fault, because you didn't planned for that), but you should have texted her, she thought maybe you left her and the baby hungry while drinking with your friends.

I condemn her actions nevertheless. she has anger management issues, do you fulfill your duties as a man? things like that might really get her upset, before you think of leaving her, think about your SON, he needs you both together.

wishing you all the best.
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 6:19pm On Aug 18, 2019
bluebay:

Good morning and I hope this message Met you well. Am writing you this morning for I need your advice on what to do.
Yesterday was my birthday and I don’t have funds to celebrate it for what was left on me was used to buy my baby food yesterday and pay for my DSTV subscription because of my wife and son. I was indoor till in the evening yesterday when few of my friends asked me to meet them up at a small hotel/bar not far from the house. About 5minutes strolling . I met them and they took me unaware and started buying drinks and celebrating with me. I then called my Neighbour to help me wife refill the generator and tell her to meet me at the hotel, but she said she’s can’t come .
To cut the story short, It was around 10:30 when she called me and she started yelling and calling me all names, saying I left her in hunger in the house with just bread to eat. My mistake was that I sent the boy to help me buy sandine and breverages but the boy was too tipsy to even walk home so I had it with me hoping to quickly discharge my friends and get home. It was past 11 pm they left and I walked home. It’s wasnt an easy thing sir . She yelled, insulted me so much and using all provocative words like (I just completed 30 but am still senseless). It got out of control that I had to slap her and behold, she go wild. Pushed me down to the ground, smashed my phone and woke up our son. I rushed in to carry him coz he started crating but my wife to be, dragged him from me and the next minutes, she dropped her on the ground with full force and wanted to fight. My heart melted for I saw my boy crying and staring at us. She said all sort of word to me and I think I have to let her go. Am planning for her marriage this November and the bills are so much and i’m Working Towards it but I’ve been asking myself if it work it now ... You remember to told you the other time I derive pleasure in giving her money to visit her people all because I want peace of mind, you won’t believe it wasn’t up to 5 minutes she came and she started another quarrel... At this moment, I don’t know if it’s love or stupidity and undergoing but one thing for sure, am not happy in this relationship.

Your woman is facing pressure and also one of the disabilities she's causing in your Marriage here is her attitude, her lack of self control, she also lack Maturity. (Sorry if I used harsh words)
Maturity here is the ability to manage pressure, she lack the ability to manage anger and words too.
The Disability facing your Marriage or Relationship>>> https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/what-is-disability-facing-your-marriage.html?m=1

I will like to refer you to this article I titled where are you confused? https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/where-are-you-confused-in-your.html?m=1

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.
It will be important that you don't allow anger to control you, is normal to be angry but you failed it for raising your hands on her.
People neglect to say "I'm sorry" when they are wrong, you accepted you are wrong and should have apologized to her when you come back home and then begged her to accept the sadine.
("I'm sorry" is powerful and has healed so many broken hearts)

Going forward, do you think you can cope with her in marriage based on her character now?
Do you think she will change for better?
Pause and think if you can because Marriage should be more of friendship which is not existing in your Relationship now so it will be difficult for it to exist in Marriage because the foundation was not laid.
If you ask me, I will say that you should hold on with the marriage rite to be sure if your Marriage with her can work out.

Let's discuss
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by kapelvej: 8:09pm On Aug 18, 2019
bluebay:
My woman is stubborn barely listen to simple instructing but rather offend you and say Sorry .
guy you dey enjoy. Mine never agree to be wrong. She Is always angry insultive and all
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by bluebay(m): 10:50pm On Aug 18, 2019
Allsingles:


Your woman is facing pressure and also one of the disabilities she's causing in your Marriage here is her attitude, her lack of self control, she also lack Maturity. (Sorry if I used harsh words)
Maturity here is the ability to manage pressure, she lack the ability to manage anger and words too.
The Disability facing your Marriage or Relationship>>> https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/what-is-disability-facing-your-marriage.html?m=1

I will like to refer you to this article I titled where are you confused? https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/where-are-you-confused-in-your.html?m=1

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.
It will be important that you don't allow anger to control you, is normal to be angry but you failed it for raising your hands on her.
People neglect to say "I'm sorry" when they are wrong, you accepted you are wrong and should have apologized to her when you come back home and then begged her to accept the sadine.
("I'm sorry" is powerful and has healed so many broken hearts)

Going forward, do you think you can cope with her in marriage based on her character now?
Do you think she will change for better?
Pause and think if you can because Marriage should be more of friendship which is not existing in your Relationship now so it will be difficult for it to exist in Marriage because the foundation was not laid.
If you ask me, I will say that you should hold on with the marriage rite to be sure if your Marriage with her can work out.

Let's discuss

To be honest, we have had several issues and I end up forgiving and I’ve been seeing it as I want to get married to her out of pity and because of our boy but I must say the truth. Am not happy in this relationship. Am I’ve seek for help but ending up back to square 1

Here’s the fact
She’s takes her time work in the house but she does it at the wrong time . For instance last week, she just woke up and started using the machine to wash, without bathing our son nor feeding him. I tried to correct and and she just told me I should stop it for it’s what she likes doing she will.

Lately, she becomes lazy to go out to buy things. For the past month, I’ve been the one going to buy food stuffs, emptying the wastebin and even going all the errand for am on leave . It go obvious that people in my street always ask why do I alway go to the market . Anytime I ask her to, she’s always giving excuse of either she’s tired l, feeling pains or she can’t carry my boy out . It got worse that I even go buy her pads for her . She’s always like , buy this when coming, carry the dirty out and empty it. Am really tired
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 11:10pm On Aug 18, 2019
bluebay:

To be honest, we have had several issues and I end up forgiving and I’ve been seeing it as I want to get married to her out of pity and because of our boy but I must say the truth. Am not happy in this relationship. Am I’ve seek for help but ending up back to square 1

I ended my Relationship with my girlfriend then because I know our marriage can't work.
I had heart attacks in two different occasions because of her so I gave her some nasty character which made to break up with me without knowing that I have decided to end the Relationship.
Please never you marry out of pity for either your boy or because of her.
Even if you got married to someone else, your boy is still your boy. Worst come to worst you will be sending her money to take care of your boy for you but don't Marry out of pit because you will regret it.
If you know you can't cope, please give her character and she will Break up with you then you move on with your life.
Don't Marry anyone for pity, don't Marry with the believe that you can manage either.
You only manage what came up in manage and not what you know before you get married.
Even what came up in marriage, you can decide to go for divorce if you think you can't cope.

Let's discuss
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by Allsingles: 7:48am On Aug 19, 2019
bluebay:

To be honest, we have had several issues and I end up forgiving and I’ve been seeing it as I want to get married to her out of pity and because of our boy but I must say the truth. Am not happy in this relationship. Am I’ve seek for help but ending up back to square 1

Here’s the fact
She’s takes her time work in the house but she does it at the wrong time . For instance last week, she just woke up and started using the machine to wash, without bathing our son nor feeding him. I tried to correct and and she just told me I should stop it for it’s what she likes doing she will.

Lately, she becomes lazy to go out to buy things. For the past month, I’ve been the one going to buy food stuffs, emptying the wastebin and even going all the errand for am on leave . It go obvious that people in my street always ask why do I alway go to the market . Anytime I ask her to, she’s always giving excuse of either she’s tired l, feeling pains or she can’t carry my boy out . It got worse that I even go buy her pads for her . She’s always like , buy this when coming, carry the dirty out and empty it. Am really tired

In the beginning, friendship was not in the relationship and that's seriously affecting it.
If you ask me, I will say you should end the Relationship because the Marriage will not work.
I know you love her but she doesn't want to work on herself so you guys can enjoy the Marriage.
It may be painful to you if you break up with her but your health and happiness is important regarding the fact that this issue is now affecting your health.
Re: What Is The Disability You Are Facing In Your Marriage Or Relationship? by thelish(f): 8:29am On Aug 19, 2019
Glink2018:
Thank God I'm not married yet...

No woman , no cry

No man no frustration

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