I hate crickets. They are the world’s most annoying insects  and self-serving creatures of all time. I don’t mind cockroaches; they come into your house on your invitation. They are attracted to your dirty surroundings and filthy manners. Cricket invite themselves in, like an unassuming relative, and they will stay for as long as you let them. Plus, they are not quiet.

The male cricket screams his head off just to get a mate. They won’t stop until they get some loving. Now, a cricket can make you go just crazy with their noise. Putting it lightly, it is annoying. It takes all of my will power not to tear my ears off when I have one in my bedroom.

One day, as  a student, this particular cricket kept me awake all night. By 3am,. I had had it. I began a frantic search for it. Thirty minutes later, I found the bug hidden in a hole in the wall beside my bed. I crushed it with my boots, leaving a hole in the wall big enough to give my landlord a heart attack. I didn’t care. The bug was dead. If it’s head was big enough, I would have made a pendant or trophy out of it.

But, sadly, crickets do not only come in insect form. There are crickets in every facet of our lives. We have Church Crickets, who choose to breathe on your share of air when you wish to listen to the pastor. We have school-crickets who will make all the noise in the world when you just need a little peace and quiet to read your books. And we have political crickets. And IBB is the biggest of these.

I was watching the TV last night when he’s ad came up, urging me to vote for him because he was experienced and had done “it” before and will do it again. Except “it” means something else other than theft, murder, lying and annulments, then I got no problem with “it.” But we all know what “it” from IBB means.

“It” means a return to the dark ages, the days of hunting down journalists and killing innocent people. “It” means death to all the minute progress democracy has brought our way. “It” means an end to peace and justice. It means a return to massive stealing of public funds and such not.

Has anyone bordered to ask this cricket how he legally has all he possesses? When will we ask Maradona what he knows about the death of Dele Giwa? Who will ask why he extended a six-month transition programme into an eight-year reign of terror? And this cricket has the effrontery to go on air and rant that he wants to do “it” to us again?

Where the hell are those old boots of mine?

http://www.saharareporters.com/news-page/video-controversial-ibb-campaign-manager-raymond-dokpesi-speaks

Those who experienced "it" will definately not vote IBB.

I like the author's creativity.

I like the author's creativity.

Seconded.

If you have to dine with the devil, you must use a very long spoon.

Um!, i think GEJ could also b described as a cricket, he's been making a lot of unnecessary noise of late

they taste ok haha
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