Wow.
someone muttered.

There was no way she could have contested the bill. As a respectable young lady, I would have done the same if I had been in her shoes. Sorting the bill, however outrageous, was the right thing to do. At least at the time… and she’d leave all of hell to break loose afterwards without becoming a public nuisance.

Ruthie ate her lunch comfortably. Lex simply forked at the noodles; not sure why she wasn’t eating. Lola didn’t eat either. Perhaps it was the hangover, or maybe the present situation had caused her to lose her appetite. I felt for her.

I remembered Wale and what he did to me. We had great moments. Fun, loving moments. Moments of bliss and fantasies. Sadly, those memories turned to cruel hatred when he hurt me. And all hopes of reconciliation had shattered when he died. I never got over it. Ever.

The tension was overwhelming. I stood up from the chair and picked the bottle of tequila. Revival was much needed. The atmosphere was so tense, I thought I would pass out from the silence. No one knew what to say or do.

Another tear streamed down Lola’s cheek. My legs trembled. Lex passed me a glass to pour her a shot. I did. She downed the content of her cup and handed it back to me. I poured another drink and downed it, burning my throat as it found its way down to my stomach.

Lola didn’t seem interested in taking a shot. Ruthie was a weakling whenever it came to shots. She once had a terrible experience at a pool party we attended. A shot and Ruthie was already seeing strange things. Ever since, she had stuck to Red Wines and Champagnes.

“So what are we going to do?” Lex asked. The question was directed at no one in particular.

“We need a plan”, Ruthie said. “He can’t go like that”, she moved and placed her plate in the sink. “We have to do something”, Ruthie continued.

“Stoop to conquer. That’s what we will do” I said, scratching my head.

“What does that even mean?” Lola asked as she picked up the bottle of tequila. Ruthie seized the bottle from her. It was obvious Lola had taken too much already.

“What I mean is, we can’t act immediately. Right now he would be watching his back because he knows he has done something wrong. So you’d pretend like all is well and not say or do anything, for now.” I explained.

“Makes sense,” Lex agreed.

“Cool,” Ruthie said. “Me I want him to cough up the money he made Lola spend”.

“I swear. At great cost. We would make him pay”. A faint smile swept across Lola’s face. There was nothing to hide. Every girl has been hurt or broken at some point in her life. There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect relationship’.

Except for ladies that sought to pretend and live fake lives by lying and fronting to their friends that all is well. Every relationship has problems. Why wouldn’t there be problems anyway? It’s about two imperfect people coming together on a mutual ground of love and understanding. Definitely there would be problems, but the problems are meant to be solved.

Like this one.

“I want to vandalize his car,” Lola said. Another tear dropped.

“I’m in o!” I shouted, throwing my hands in the air. The idea was great. In fact, the idea was perfect and soothing.

“Won’t we get caught on camera or fingerprints or something like that?” Ruthie muttered.

“This isn’t some Hollywood movie, madam. Camera how? In Ajah?” Lex countered.

I laughed.

“Babes if you know his schedule ehn, we would figure out the day he won’t take the car out. Or we would watch him on any night we are sure no one else would be around and break the windshield, puncture all the tires……,”

“Burn his documents. All his school certificates and NYSC documents. Every damned document we can find”.

My phone rang. Same number as before. D.D.

“Him again?” Ruthie was curious.

“Yea”

“Who’s him?” Lex asked.

“Dreadlocks,” I answered.

“These men don’t know when to give up,” Lex said, finally scooping noodles into her mouth.

“The ones that have nothing to offer stick around longer than the ones who do” I smirked.

“But he has money….” Ruthie was saying,

“Are you dumb?” I cut in.

She laughed.

The phone kept ringing.

“Lola, text him” Lex said.

“Text who?” I asked.

It seemed Lex had a plan already.

“Text your dude,” Lex clarified “Tell him you miss him and stuff like that. Men love nonsense. They don’t think sometimes”.

Lola looked confused.

“Will he even respond?” She asked.

“Bring the phone,” I said. She handed me the phone. I opened her WhatsApp chat and saw ‘Heartbeat’. What right-thinking lady stores her boyfriend’s name with ‘Heartbeat’?

Me: Hey baby

Heartbeat: Lola, you need to stop texting me. We are over.

Me: You didn’t even tell me you were leaving last night. It’s cool tho

Heartbeat: Something came up. What do you want?

Me: Nothing. I just wanted to say ‘I love you’ and no matter what you do, I’m here for you.

Heartbeat: Thank you

He was acting all macho and cold. But I was sure he would fall for something. They always fall for something.

I showed the chat to the girls and hissed. He doesn’t know what’s coming to him. I’m sure he has never met a mad Lagos girl.