My name is Honorable Ayékóòtò
I am representing my constituency in the state house of assembly.
Before I assumed office, I vowed to live within my lawful income and fight for the masses with the last drop of my blood.
First week in office, my father sent me an invitation that his mosque would be doing maolud and I must be present to honor him.
I went as requested and donated 10,000 naira. My father refused to talk to me for 3 months, claiming I disgraced him for donating just 10k.
After a month, my mother invited me to her church program. I attended and gifted the church 15,000. My mother cried for a week claiming I ridiculed her in the church.
Two months later, my niece requested for money for her wedding, I gave her 30,000. My sister tagged me a stingy man for not financing her daughter's wedding solely.
The boys in the neighborhood were hailing me as I passed by. I humbly greet them in return but I heard from my dejected son the next day that people in the neighborhood said I am useless for not giving them money.
I was given slots for state job in the house. I rejected it because I thought employing citizens should be based on merit and must be opened to all. The graduates in the neighborhood that have submitted CV to me stopped greeting me when they saw their mates being given slots by other honorables.
In school, my children have become objects of ridicule because as children of whole honorable, they couldn't afford to take their friends to club every weekend.
I was offered bribe in the house but I rejected it. I fought tooth and nail against the corrupt politicians because to me, the masses we are representing should come first.
Eventually, I was maliciously suspended for being rude in the house. I laughed because I was sure the masses I was fighting for who are the most powerful arm of government would protest on my behalf.
I was wrong! They all mocked me. They called me a useless representative that can't spray money. They praised to my face fellow honorables giving them peanut out of their future they have stolen. They even requested for money to protest on my behalf. I mean the same masses I was fighting for
Father detested me. Mother was no more talking to me. Friends and family called me names. Wife and children are only trying to be strong. They are fed up. I have lost totally!
I begged my way back to the house. I become a conformist. I become a worse politician than those I met in the game. I started embezzling money my fourth generation to come can't finish.
I can now spray money for youths in the neighborhood. I can now give my mother 200,000 to spend in a party. My children can now lavish money as they wish. I can now share ram during Ileya festival. I can now share bag of rice during Christmas. At last, I regain my 'dignity'
When people need money that will cater for their immediate need, they come to me, I give them and they pray for me in return. When they have no money to cater for their larger need, they curse the politicians. Forgetting the same man they pray for is included among the corrupt politicians they are cursing. What a confused generation.
I am a corrupt politician. Don't blame me for becoming one. I am just another politician with good intention that become a monster due to the masses unreasonable impression about politicians.
Don't pity them. They don't deserve better leaders. They don't deserve a better nation. They know not what exactly should be expected of leaders. Are Senators and honorables meant to spray money on the street? Are politicians meant to share slots of job meant for the general public among their allies?
Their leaders are just reflection of how clueless and selfish they are.
I AM A NIGERIAN POLITICIAN.

Please,go to heaven and leave our politics for us.