₦airaland Forum

There is a guy I have known for few months that offered his friendship to me and even offered to help me with a job I have been trying to get. At some he made his interest known to me about settling but i told him we should be friends even when he knew i was already in a relationship that was not going so well, I told him I was not ready to jump into another or give him what he is looking for at the moment. He kept declaring his love and i told him, i do appreciate but he should look somewhere else as i needed to just take my time.
Of recent, i did not hear from him as much and just decided to check upon him. he now told me to please stop calling him, that he loves me and wants to forget about me. he wants to see if he could love someone else and settle down and marry and all that talk. my reply to him was just like that? and i told him ok.
My question here all, is his action justified? or totally unnecessary and childish? Did i act wrong?

This man has some serious issues. You told this guy from jump that you are already in a relationship and that you were not interested in having anything more than a friendship with this guy. But yet he still continued to pressure you and manipulate you into being with him. Now, when he realized him trying to bully you into being a relationship didn't work, he gave you the old yee-haw! He did you a favor. Would you honestly want to be with somebody like that anyway or even helping you? He offered you his help but then it came with a string attached. I say he is better off out your life and you can find a job on your own. You don't need him. The guys seriously has some issues and you really don't want to get all caught up in that. I would also say stop contacting him and you can find your way. Whatever he need to do to get "over" you, just let him do that. You are better than that. To me, it still sound like he still trying to run game on you. Just leave him alone and go on about your business as if he never existed. This situation isn't even worth a bead of sweat to be worrying over. I would say from his actions alone, he was not serious about you. If there were, he must be really desperate to find someone to harrass somebody to settle down with him. Then that in itself should raise a left eye brow, what is his hurry?

Something tells me you are interested in this guy. No offence

@poster, dont be suprise he will give lookin for any job for u since u dint cooporate. nevermind, u can do it ur self search for job urself, u will defnately get, althoug some people migth be of help but wen one want to attach help with somethin else, i dont give a damn with ur help. as for lovin u, he doesnt and dont waste ur time dont even go there, he wudnt want to forget about someone he lov wen she hasnt don any wrong.

poster

why the question? women are always complaining about men not paying attention when you say you are not intersted now you met a guy who heard what you said and is taking action for himself now he is childish and his actions are unjustified.
i guess you wanted someone to keep chassing you like a dog stroking your ego everyday why you have a man. Abeg go sit down the man listened and he is moving on. now i hope you will listen and not call him anymore so he can properly forget you

@poster he was taking is action if u hav a bro in dat situatuation u wuld giv dat advic.he is nt childish.

You may have said your not intrested, but if your actions didnt match this, you may still have been leading him on, i.e. he probably thought he still had a chance.

I do not think his actions are childish tho!!

Yes, his action is justified. Please leave him alone.

[/quote][quote author=desertboom link=topic=548883.msg7118341#msg7118341 date=1289427647]Something tells me you are interested in this guy. No offence

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omega25red:
poster

why the question? women are always complaining about men not paying attention when you say you are not intersted now you met a guy who heard what you said and is taking action for himself now he is childish and his actions are unjustified.
i guess you wanted someone to keep chassing you like a dog stroking your ego everyday why you have a man. Abeg go sit down the man listened and he is moving on. now i hope you will listen and not call him anymore so he can properly forget you

Creamish:
well . . . u dont expect him to react d exact way u'd react if u were in his shoes . . datz wat makes us different. He prolly dosnt take rejection well and the best way he knows how to protect his ego is by shuttin u out as well . . he needs to get over u and u hanging around wont help . .


So like he said . .stay away from him, except your willing to give him wat he wants. I dont see his actions as childish.

These responses are just on point!

Lacrrissa, you did the right thing by telling him that you are in a relationship and not ready for anything else except friendship. He did the right thing by totally letting u go and ignoring you. The one thing a guy shouldnt do is be friends with a girl he cares abt. It is destructive esp seeing the girl he likes with sm1 else.So his actions you may not like but it is for the best, and not childish. He is a smart dude afterall.
summary - you both didnt like / accept the other person's offer, so u both move on.

Remember - Men and Women cant be friends!

I dnt agree, I think men and women can be friends.

[color=#9900ff]Yes! What's your own? You already said you couldn't give him what he wants and he obviously whats more and doesn't want to settle for what you are willing to give him. So what's your own? Leave pesin make hin move on abeggiii[/color]

omega25red:
poster

why the question? women are always complaining about men not paying attention when you say you are not intersted now you met a guy who heard what you said and is taking action for himself now he is childish and his actions are unjustified.
i guess you wanted someone to keep chassing you like a dog stroking your ego everyday why you have a man. Abeg go sit down the man listened and he is moving on. now i hope you will listen and not call him anymore so he can properly forget you

[color=#9900ff]Thank you ooo. Women sef [/color]

Creamish:
well . . . u dont expect him to react d exact way u'd react if u were in his shoes . . datz wat makes us different. He prolly dosnt take rejection well and the best way he knows how to protect his ego is by shuttin u out as well . . he needs to get over u and u hanging around wont help . .


So like he said . .stay away from him, except your willing to give him wat he wants. I dont see his actions as childish.

GBAM *10

@ The Skipper
Men and women can't be friends. Someone always wants to screw the other. Except of course, if one of them is dating someone of a higher preference than the 'friend'. Look at all your female friends, is there one you hvn't thot of screwing yet, even the ugly ones? I seriously doubt that.
If your so called female friend comes into your bed unclothed, will you tell her to put on her clothes or you will screw the hell out of her. Don't lie.

@deniyor
When i was younger I would certainly agree with you, but with maturity I have to say I don't agree at all. It all depends on the foundations of your relationship. If you tried to get with a girl, and it didnt work and you still talk - then yes, you can never really truly be friends, but I have many black WOMEN not GIRLS who have brought so much into my life.

But yes in repsonse to your question - us males are visual creatures, the thought of screwing one of my female friends has crossed my mind, but so has the thought of growing a 3rd arm, lol it would never become a reality,

If one of my GENUINE female friends came into my bed naked i can hand on heart say i wouldnt screw her, during uni many of my friends would sleep over at my place - nothing ever happened. It' s not that serious - theres too many chicks out there for me to be SOO hungry that I have to screw everything in close proximity to me.

^^^^^ Lemme guess - you hv a woman now that you rank better than all the women friends of yours? And you are currently satisfied with her.
You do hv a point tho.