Just an advice......


I'm not a dullard, heck, I've never even been a struggling student, ever, but i guess, the only thing constant in life is change. At least that's what they say.

I'm not asking for what to do, i already know what to do, i'm just saying my story, so that parents can maybe, learn from it.

The way our parents talk to us, matters a whole lot, so, as parents, we should be really careful how we praise or curse our offspring. I don't know, but i'm pretty sure neither the Bible, nor the Quran supports, nor encourage the parent cursing and abusing his/her child.

I have a father, who for over 20 years, and i'm not exaggerating, has NEVER said anything good to me. Don't misquote me, I didn't say he doesn't say about me, i don't know, because i'm not there, but i'm saying, he has never, in my front, in my presence, say anything good to or about me. NOTHING. That shouldn't be a problem, except for that, he uses every opportunity he has, to remind me how useless, stupid, senseless, i am. Basically, there's no derogatory word an average Nigerian uses in his/her day-to-day activity that he hasn't used on me. And there's NOTHING good i do to deserve praise. Y'know, when out parents don't want our head to swell, or something, but they still want to credit us for a job well done, they stylishly do it, say: "Thank God you even did something good today o", like, that kinda statement, even that, I've never gotten, ever, and yes, in over 15 years. Maybe before then, while i were still a small child, he used to, well, i cant deprive him of that just to badmouth him.

Why am i saying all these? i started having problems academically a few years back, but i took it as me being unserious, and i buckled up. But it persisted. as a result, i had an extra year, which i'm still struggling in, tbh, during my final year, i noticed weird things about my result, courses i failed, i got either 42 or 43, and even at that, i was the only one that failed 3 out of 4 of them. Then, i was unsettled as to how unlucky i could be, i met some lecturers(that attended to me anyway), and discovered that, 2 out of these 3 , they weren't even aware any student fail. You know, this kind, they supposedly passed everybody, but magically, i was missing, hence i fail. How i failed itself is a mystery anyway, but that's not the point. I sucked up and came back at extra year, Once bitten they say, twice shy, i did everything humanely possible to not make any of the mistakes i made. But yet again, somehow, i failed 2 again, in which, i was the only student. So, in finding out why and how, i met one of the lecturers who happened to be a man of God, and while he was listening to me, he asked me questions.

After our discussion, i left his office and thanked him, but with a whole lot of questions, could it be that my fathers curses are finally catching up to me?

He said, and i quote
"Sometimes, when our parents out of anger curse us, we children often times return it back, or do nothing at all. Either of this 2 acts makes the curse reach us faster. But in a case whereby, a father/mother curses a child, and s/he says, it will not be my portion o, or rebukes it in whatever form, it counters the curse, and it eventually gets to one"

I'm not sure why he said it, but it got me, as i knew i had a dad who always curses me, and i never bother about it, so i kept asking myself, is his curse finally catching up to me??

I do not know, but i figured, i should advise some of our parents in here, we should be careful about our utterances to our offspring. There is power in the tongue, and even more power in that of a father or mother to their child.

I know and have heard some parents saying, "abi ori e da nii?" instead of "abi ori e buru?" (or you are sane? instead of or are you mad?), "shey won gbadura fun e ni?" instead of "shey won o shepe fun e?" (are you blessed, instead of are you cursed?)


If parents can learn from these, and aspiring parents also, then that would be for the good of our children.


Thank You.

You are right

Basically, its how they have been taught over time how to parent their kids


We the new generation parents have to change.
At least now most families frown at incessant flogging now

Not saying curses don't work but stop expecting them to manifest in your life. You have waited for these curses to work, so at the first sign of failure, you think the curses have finally caught up with you, so you expect more failures and they come looking for you. The thing you greatly fear comes to you most times. Start blessing yourself with your own mouth, praise yourself, laugh at your mistakes, be your personal hypeman, admire how you accomplish the small things around you like brushing your teeth well. See yourself as bigger than your mentors, look for the good in every bad situation, thank God it wasn't worse. Just fill your life with joy, faith and hope for better. Life is sweet if you will let it be so.