" HOW TO BE AN UPCOMING ARTISTE IN NIGERIA

If there's an upcoming artist in naija reading this right now and you have issues with sarcasm and comic writing goan drink garri and come back here to beat me.
Who is an upcoming artiste in this country without instagram and facebook pages with instagram bio like

Upcoming Artiste
Lyrical Evans (I kidnap your girl with my lyrics)
HitzEnt Record Label
Bookings : hitzent@gmail.com

When you post a picture never forget to add locations such as Palms Studio Lekki, Hitz Studio Ikoyi. Buy VIP tickets to all movie premieres ,comedy shows, music concerts you must be a clubber, Ace of Spade and Shisha Pot must be your picture partners,
never forget to snap pictures with celebrities in these concerts. Post these pictures and add captions like, "Ycee in the building, something cooking ,expect a blow coming Thraaa" .Follow all the runs girls and slay mamas on IG. You need not worry about how to make hits
. You need not worry about how to make hits (remember you're signed to HitzEnt. Hitz are simple to make. Remember that year when one lady mentioned my name over 100 times in her song, For your information the song now has 70+ million views on YouTube .
One boy from surulere gathered his new signees and said "SOCO" 83 times in just a track ,the song na hit.know how to recycle beats make Shun tissue your role model for that. Buy a Chorus, manufacture your hook from the chorus Repeat the chorus ten times in a 3-minute track
Buy fake IG followers and be unusual ,disturb humble and jobless Nigeria youths for dance video with #danceforHitz and #20000 for the winner, worry not about next hits they'll come.Hustle for interviews and always tell these interviewers your relationship status is single
.Remember you have one hit already so you'll be going for concerts, never dress to these concerts like a sane person mix colours together and look like tetracycline K! See! Issa role model wear fake blings ,boast of your fake Rolex watch lodge in big hotels snap bathroom selfies
with apple logo at the back of your phone take pictures, in the bath tub, corridor, car park, at the reception ,in short snap like 200pictures at 10 different hotels .just be changing locations when you're posting these pics
Controversy is key, you must be controversial take shots at your haters at any opportunity you get be a KKTBM DJ and pay runs girls to put on their social media pages how you didn't pay them after sex
Remember you're beginning to fade off and you need to drop a new song my guy don't drop a new song o shoki everything and drop 3 remixes, Female version, Street version, dance version etc. Everyone will start popping heavy again you must travel abroad even if na Ghana
abi Benin Republic travel is travel. If you're pissed by this write -up go get yourself one bottle of Ciroc(if you can afford it �) and piss Vodka