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I Don't Feel Nigerian - Culture (2) - Nairaland

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Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by mutter(f): 2:36am On Nov 21, 2010
Francis,
I can understand how you feel and your problem is not a unique one. Many kids born and brought up abroad cannot really relate to Nigeria, through no fault of theirs. Even as a kid it baffled me in Nigeria to watch with what resentment kids that came back from abroad were treated at school. They often got laughed at and ridiculed  and at the end of the day it was all jealousy. many of them never learnt to speak he language because they got constantly laught at.
The problem will solve itself. Because when you get married things change for your future generation. If you marry a British somewhere along the line the Nigerian part fades more and more. If you marry a Nigerian she might be able to give that culture to the world.
I think the world needs more people like you - people who are neutral and free from strong affiliations and prejudices.
You know patriotism is not anything you can force on yourself. It comes naturally. Sometimes it just has to be the right time.
It actually surprises me that people find this topic boring. For those living abroad their kids might soon be facing the same problem. I wish some positive replies will come here with concrete advice because it could be of help to many readers.
I think to be patriotic towards this earth we live in is far more significant and important than being a British or Nigerian.

This would have been a chance for other Nigerians help you cross this hurdle but instead we laugh and ridicle.
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by ragdollz: 2:36am On Nov 21, 2010
ishit4body:

Doll covered with rags.

Na you sabi, if you like go and eat poison for another man's problem, na u know.

It is a great feeling when people with rags are ignored.


Lol, Francis, I hope you see now? She's just as good, even better, than most of us, at the insulting and "giving of names that don't belong to you". And she has already taken arsenic on your case, that was why she was frothing at the mouth telling you how horrible we are. Aaw, someone must have wounded you real bad, @sheshitted4body. Okay, just show me the person, I will go and help you fight him/her. Ozuo.
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by ishit4body(f): 2:38am On Nov 21, 2010
Ogbanje.
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by Nobody: 2:40am On Nov 21, 2010
Francis82:

I guess I was just getting it off my chest and seeing if anyone can relate. I'm not expecting anyone here to 'teach' me to be Nigerian. I just wanted to express myself in a place I thought I might have felt safe to express myself. Maybe I was hoping for those who felt the same to open and share what they felt and those who didn't to offer a supporting hand in this community. Wasn't expecting anyone to fix my life problems LOL

Awww, now you're making me feel bad. Sorry.
It wasn't just about you. Like ragdollz previously said, many many tales have been written on NL just so that we can know that that person is a citizenship of this so so country or just for fame.
Your long story made it seem like you just didnt care to learn.


It WILL make a big difference for us to know that you're here to learn? I take back my previous post, DO NOT GO TO POLITICS section, if you want to be interested in Nigerian affair.

Where are your parents/mom from in Nigeria?
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by ragdollz: 2:41am On Nov 21, 2010
Francis82:

Lol I see what you're saying my friend. In my short time reading posts here I'm getting the general impression of what you say Rogdollz. I'm seeing posts where a genuine simple thing was offered and then it's almost like peeps haven't read it properly and suddenly there's a 5 page argument/rant totally misunderstanding the original poster  cheesy

It's not that I take life seriously, I just chose to be deep down and real with what I was feeling and write it from my heart. I'm not here to fit in and I don't mean this in a "bleep You" way, I mean that if I got an issue I want to talk about,well I'm gonna talk about it. I'm not gonna sugar coat it because some people might fly off the handle. I'm here to be real not cause trouble.

I'll be sticking around for sure. Some very interesting discussion here for real.

Thanks

Francis

That's the spirit, Francis! Lol, to tell you the truth, folks just feel bored sometimes, so it feels more interesting to be mean to a thread poster once in a while grin. In fact, I'll advise you to be wary of those who are TOO nice grin grin grin. That's no excuse though, but just letting you know, no one seriously means any harm. I guess they just want you to prove yourself. And you've done that pretty well so far wink.
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by ragdollz: 2:42am On Nov 21, 2010
ishit4body:

My future children are Ogbanje.

Hm, much better tongue.
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by ishit4body(f): 2:47am On Nov 21, 2010
Francis

Can you see? They want you to prove yourself. To who? Who are they? Are they the only one on NL that you have to prove yourself and your story to? If anyone find it hard or difficult to believe your story, why do you have to go to any other extent to prove it to them? Why? If they dont believe you, how does that concern you, it is their problem, ok? Dont go to any length to prove anything my bros, if anyone thinks you are here to show off as a british, then good for him or her- Which sane human beng will come to a forum to show off being british? It is only people who feel inferior that sees only such in your post- when I read it, i felt nothing like that, but because they feel inferior they want to put you down and tell you that you are showing off as a british - now you know who to ignore.
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by ragdollz: 2:55am On Nov 21, 2010
ishit4body:

Francis

Now you know who to ignore.

Yes. . . .YOU!
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by Francis82: 3:04am On Nov 21, 2010
Gamine:

I don't understand this forum any more
What did this person post to warrant such comments,
I'm not surprised though, give the guy a break

@Poster
Your experience is definitely not unique, but you need to ask yourself
what you truly want. Why are you concerned about not fitting in anywhere
You don't have to be 'Nigerian' but it doesn't hurt to read or learn about these things
maybe you would fall in love with the culture/perhaps you won't but atleast you would have learnt something

About 'White' folk embracing our culture. .that's another topic for another day.

Thanks for your support Gamine. As for what I truly want. I think I felt guilt of not feeling Nigerian because some how I made the assumption that because I'm from Nigerian heritage I MUST DO/SPEAK/ACT as one out of obligation and fear of ridicule from peers. To be honest, what I really want is to simply love and be me as I am. I do also want to learn more about Nigeria and the culture and the language for which I plan to undertake. Will I feel any more Nigerian? maybe and maybe not but as you said at least I would have learned something and something I feel is important smiley

mutter:

Francis,
I can understand how you feel and your problem is not a unique one. Many kids born and brought up abroad cannot really relate to Nigeria, through no fault of theirs. Even as a kid it baffled me in Nigeria to watch with what resentment kids that came back from abroad were treated at school. They often got laughed at and ridiculed  and at the end of the day it was all jealousy. many of them never learnt to speak he language because they got constantly laught at.
The problem will solve itself. Because when you get married things change for your future generation. If you marry a British somewhere along the line the Nigerian part fades more and more. If you marry a Nigerian she might be able to give that culture to the world.
I think the world needs more people like you - people who are neutral and free from strong affiliations and prejudices.
You know patriotism is not anything you can force on yourself. It comes naturally. Sometimes it just has to be the right time.
It actually surprises me that people find this topic boring. For those living abroad their kids might soon be facing the same problem. I wish some positive replies will come here with concrete advice because it could be of help to many readers.
I think to be patriotic towards this earth we live in is far more significant and important than being a British or Nigerian.

This would have been a chance for other Nigerians help you cross this hurdle but instead we laugh and ridicle.

Great response Mutter, thank you for being so positive. This is indeed a very non-unique issue. I do have Indian friends who themselves have expressed to me that they don't relate to their Indian culture nor understand it. I do like what you said about being patriotic towards the world we live in is more important.

Ileke-IdI:

Awww, now you're making me feel bad. Sorry.
It wasn't just about you. Like ragdollz previously said, many many tales have been written on NL just so that we can know that that person is a citizenship of this so so country or just for fame.
Your long story made it seem like you just didnt care to learn.


It WILL make a big difference for us to know that you're here to learn? I take back my previous post, DO NOT GO TO POLITICS section, if you want to be interested in Nigerian affair.

Where are your parents/mom from in Nigeria?

Hey Ileke-IdI, thanks, no hard feelings. I do get the general impression of showing off and I'm sorry if I came across that way. I'm not showing off, infact I'm surprised if that's what was assumed because I came to this post feeling less than people here and by no means anything more. I'm sorry about my long story, that's just how I am, so much to express and hard to summarise something without feeling I've not gotten point across. Too much wordings a lot of the time  embarassed

My mum was born in Enugu and raised in Onitsha. I'm sorry I don't know the correct spelling of the village but I can spell it phonetically for you, please correct me, her village is Uum-muud-day village (I'll check in with her for correct spelling)

Francis
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by Nobody: 3:28am On Nov 21, 2010
No problem.

Cool, so you know that you're from Enugu, which makes you an Igbo. From the SE part of Nigeria.

Search Igbo on NL search engine and you'll get a lot of result. You can go from there to find your identity.

Goodluck!
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by fstranger: 1:04pm On Nov 21, 2010
Why is Francis ignoring Ishi4body? Oh yeah, Ishit4body is going craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy!
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by 8words(m): 3:17pm On Nov 21, 2010
fstranger:

Why is Francis ignoring Ishi4body? Oh yeah, Ishit4body is going craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy!


Gbam
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by 8words(m): 3:26pm On Nov 21, 2010
ishit4body:

Francis

Can you see? They want you to prove yourself. To who? Who are they? Are they the only one on NL that you have to prove yourself and your story to? If anyone find it hard or difficult to believe your story, why do you have to go to any other extent to prove it to them? Why? If they dont believe you, how does that concern you, it is their problem, ok? Dont go to any length to prove anything my bros, if anyone thinks you are here to show off as a british, then good for him or her- Which sane human beng will come to a forum to show off being british? It is only people who feel inferior that sees only such in your post- when I read it, i felt nothing like that, but because they feel inferior they want to put you down and tell you that you are showing off as a british - now you know who to ignore.



Bia nne are u are married or one of the SSS holder? coz the way u reply this thread get k leg, well shaa i will u the best
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by MissyB3(f): 5:02pm On Nov 21, 2010
You do not have a problem and there's nothing wrong with your post.
Interest is the keyword. Are you interested in learning about the Nigerian culture or want to give it a whirl, even though there's very little or no interest? Do!
Most of the things you need to know, you'd find on NL. Plus, Google is your friend.

You're not interested and do not want to try? Why bother! Peace!

by tommorrow when this thread goes into about 500 pages of nonsense, you will forever loose any feeling of being Nigerian and run away from anything Nigerian,
Rotfl!!!
This is possible! grin grin
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by ada24: 2:25am On Nov 22, 2010
Francis - i completely understand where u are coming from and sometimes it can be hard to identify with either the British and Nigerian culture. But if you really want to know ur roots u have to integrate yourself more with the Nigerian community in the UK - if ur Ibo I know that there is some social group that meets once a month in London for young Ibos u will get to meet people there.

I really do get the jealousy thing about when u holiday in Nigeria and there is nothing u can do to change peoples inferiority complex, i get it whenever I am in Nigeria and I am so used to it I just brush it off, it doesn't make me stop trying to speak broken or Ibo, if they want to laugh then laugh all i need is an answer to my question and for u to tell me how much something is if I am buying from u in the market.

If I were you try as hard as possible to learn about Nigerian history, culture - TRY, the internet is a good source also get books ask u mum even or aunties.

I was quite lucky as Ibo was spoken at home while I was growing up and my parents were very Nigerian, so I advise u to try and get ur mum to tell u more about Nigeria (if she can after 40+ years).
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by Obiagu1(m): 7:06pm On Nov 22, 2010
@ Francis82

I feel you. I have to assure you that you can NEVER feel truly British when your mum does not, the earlier you get closer to Nigeria the better. My guess is that you’re from Anambra but your mum was born in Enugu. My sincere advice to you is to take a month vacation to Enugu, not any other city but Enugu. Call up any of your cousins in his 20s that lives in Enugu. He’ll be your tour guide and after a month in Enugu, you’ll surely return again the following year.
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by tpia5: 7:10pm On Nov 22, 2010
@ topic

no biggie.


browse nl, find the threads that relate with whatever you relate to, and join the fray.

just out of curiosity, where's your dad from. Is he nigerian.

i havent read through the whole thread so i dont know if you mentioned him or not. I saw something about your mum but not your dad.
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by fstranger: 7:34pm On Nov 22, 2010
@ OP

I have a US passport, but I don't feel American,

What should I do?

Go kill ma self?

Anyway, you get my drift!
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by Omenani(m): 9:42pm On Nov 22, 2010
This is common for many born in the Diaspora. It doesn't matter if they are Nigerian, Ghanaian, South African, Chinese, Japanese or Korean. He is not the only one who suffers from this.

However, it is never too late to learn about your culture. I know of someone who started in his early 20s. He did not know anything about his Igbo culture, but now he is a fluent speaker to the extent, that he can speak "Deep Igbo" better than those who were raised in Igboland.

Reclaim your heritage and be proud that you are African.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do not mind the people who has criticized you. It is not your fault. By starting this thread, it shows that you wish to learn. That is the first step. Now you must take the leap! Go to Nigeria for a month. Go to your village. Go to a city. Go somewhere, just interact with the people and they will accept you with open arms.

I see that you say your mother is Igbo. Is your father also Igbo? If so, then we Igbos have a saying. "Igbo bu Igbo." Igbo is Igbo. No matter where you are born, you are still considered an Igbo man in our eyes.
Re: I Don't Feel Nigerian by Jenifa1: 7:39am On Feb 27, 2011
The thing about me is that even though I'm very much 'British' in the way I talk and act I don't even consider myself British. Almost like I have no real cultural leanings to any country as such. I'm not really patriotic towards England anyway, that's not to say I hate England. I don't. I just don't have that strong sense of patriotism.


looking at the bigger picture, this OP's sense of lack of identity probably has to do with racism in the UK. A society where citizenship (in the cultural sense of the word) is reserved for white folks only. and all other races are not welcomed or embraced.

My advice for the OP is to reclaim his british identity. It's ok not to feel Nigerian because you are NOT Nigerian (culturally). You are British. Try to view yourself more as British and don't let anyone deny you of your citizenship.

how many whites with foreign parents have this problem of not belonging? very few I would bet.

I like how you gave examples of whites embracing African cultures and even posted youtube videos to make your point.
and I like this response that OmegaRed gave to explain it:
We Nigerians are loving people thats why you see "oyinbo" folks loving our culture.

If oyinbos were loving people, don't you think Nigerians or other blacks will be embracing oyibo culture too?
It is the bad treatment/rejection blacks get in oyinbo land that make it senseless for you to be patriotic to Britain or embrace it even though it is your land and it belongs to you just as much as any other white.

same thing happens in the US with many African-Americans. Most have never set foot on Africa or have relatives from Africa but they call themselves African-American just because they are looking for a sense of Identity.
whereas whites Irish-americans, Norwegian-americans etc. are accepted as simply american.

so to me,Francis, if you look at the big picture, the problem is racism.
It's not your fault at all

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