Last time i posted how my wife tested HIV+ and hide the result for me only for me to discover later,and that she was aware of it for the past two and half years yet she hide it.Truly,since the time i discovered this,it has been affecting me phychologically in this marriage,especially anytime i remember that she hide it from me.Since then,i dont have appetite for sex like the way i used to have it before.She dont even attract me any longer unlike before.Despite that most of times,she may object we using condom as she feel that i m now running away from her and also as husband and wife,there is still more pleassure in doing without condom than with condom.This issue on my marriage is really disturbing me phychologically,i m no longer enjoying the marriage.The sexual life of couples is no longer there.For how long will i continue the use of condom for a marriage that is roughly three years.How many couples are living on condom for their sexual life?,So i cant enjoy natural sex again?.For how long will this be?.Who will be happy that his/her sexual life is placed on permanent condom based,couples for that matter--,lets be sincere.There is no joy again especially anything i remember the way she hide it.In fact,i m little bit confused,that atimes my mind will be resorting to divorce.My question is,is there anything bad if one take the part of divorce?.The phychological trauma is too much on me.There is no day,i will not be thinking of this issue,whether in the office,along the road,anywhere,the issue refused to go off my mind.PLease i need sincere and mature advice.

I advice u seek a family counselor for counseling, because ur case is refaring to a divorce and the fear of approach death of ur Wife. It is a family counseling dat may adds the needs of the family when one family member suffers from an illness that alters his or her behavior or habits in negative ways like ur wifes case. Its normal u just cant stop thinking about thé situation.

biblically , yes.
i.e for sexual promiscuity.
how did she get it anyway!!! screwing around behind your back?!

usetime:

biblically , yes.
i.e for sexual promiscuity.
  how did she get it anyway!!! screwing around behind your back?!

Not alone through sex, so many ways to get this fu"king virus.
We just ve to be careful n'a God get Power, @ Poster, if ur Woman wants to transmit it to u she CAN do it without having sex with u, so just pray to God.

This case is really stressing you and weighing you down heavily so i would suggest you talk to the elders in your family, especially since you both have a baby together.

The only valid reason you have here to divorce her is infidelity on her part.

Bros, I bow for you o.

Which kain question be this? Your wife is HIV+ where did she get it from?

Are you sure you havent been infected self within those 2yrs you didnt know.

@gestapo,

really,its stressing me and weighing me down heavily.Since this happen,i have seen how overthinkng reduces somebodys weight.Telling the elders,she dont want us to let any of the families know,because of the stigma attached to it.Truly,i m very very disturbed and confused.I dont know how i will handle this.Thats why i m seeking advice.

Please what i need is an advice and not words that will keep on rising my already body high temprature.This is not what i expect in my union,but it just happened.Should anybody know of pple that are in this kind condition or have idea,such is an advice i want because i m really down phychologically.The kind of overthinking this thing is giving is too much.The marriage is still too young and this kind thing is existing.

Have you tested yourself is the first question.

As soon as i see it where she hide it,i was shocked and nearly collapsed,and i rushed to the hospital the following day for the test,and it was negative.

Then run away.

If you continue using condom and one day the thing burst? Wetin you wan do?

Run for your life.

Did she tell you how she got HIV?

she say she no know

She no know?

Abeg run far before HIV catch you sef in an unknown way.

I cant touch someone with HIV even if dem use dunlop tyres wrap my pen1s

Am not married but yet i can still advise u.
It is not good for someone to advise a couple to divorce in Islamic way unless it as gotten to some stage,
At first how and when did she got infected with the virus.
i think u should stay with her cos if u propose for a divorce she may kill herself.
why can u go for family counselling or u seek for the advise of elder but u will not inform them u it happened to.
in ur first post u said u make love with her without using condom and yet u are not infected, i will advise both of u to go for another test, not only u going for the test,
is there any sign  that she is infected.
pls investigate properly before taken any uncontrollable step

@ post dis is a delicate issue infact u realy need to be careful not to kill the mother of ur Baby i swear if u leave this woman at this stage she might kill her self or the sickness become worse and she dies u need to see a pastor rather than family members cos the only ting they will tell u is that u leave her or get another wife get close to God and he will help u i realy feel for u and ur wife God will see u guys thru

djojo:

Am not married but yet i can still advise u.
It is not good for someone to advise a couple to divorce in Islamic way unless it as gotten to some stage,
At first how and when did she got infected with the virus.
i think u should stay with her cos if u propose for a divorce she may kill herself.
why can u go for family counselling or u seek for the advise of elder but u will not inform them u it happened to.
in your first post u said u make love with her without using condom and yet u are not infected, i will advise both of u to go for another test, not only u going for the test,
is there any sign  that she is infected.
pls investigate properly before taken any uncontrollable step  

What more advice does he want? am sure he is just ready to leave the woman, in my first post i adviced u to seek a family counselling, here is djoj giving u Dsame advise, i guess u should nt discuss with family elders because the result will be DIVORCE HER. there is always a way out. You still have to go for a new test with ur wife to be 100p sure than bordering urself over leaving her. If u run away from ur wife, can u run away from ur child? or is the child nt infected too? think well befor u do things Man!!

dayokanu:

Then run away.

If you continue using condom and one day the thing burst? Wetin you wan do?

Run for your life.

Did she tell you how she got HIV?

In the other thread he initially opened, she told him that if he loves her, he would not use condom, so he has been granting her wishes, now she is telling him not to let anyone know. Yet this is the same lady who's had this for years without mentioning it to her hubby the OP.


Methinks the OP is a soft guy and the wife is taking him for a ride, i don't know how it feels and i know it can't be easy, but she needs to put their child's needs first and make sure they use condoms, lest she passes it onto him, o ga o .

Well my BIG problem here is that she did not tell you she was HIV positive BEFORE you married her! She kept that from you, as in she knew all along. I think that is where you are having the biggest issue, and all these advisors above seem to be skipping that issue!

The woman basically tricked you into marrying her. I guess the marriage can be nullified as you are married under false pretenses. If you had known before you married her then it wouldn't even be an issue. I say you need to sit her down, have a long heart to heart discussion with her. Let her know that you will NOT take "I dont know how I got HIV." As an answer!

Demand for an answer, you have every right to know! But do not let her guilt trip you, telling you you cant use a condom with her. RUBBISH!

You all really need a marriage counselor before you think of divorce, but at the same time, no one should blame you for wanting a divorce.

I asked her several times,if she is aware when she contacted it,she say no.The only thing is that my mind keep telling me that she used trick on me,as she might have known that she knew that she have it before we got married,and thats why i am very annouyed over the whole issue.Sounding as if i m a 'MUGU' and 'MUGU' don fall.

Bawal:

I asked her several times,if she is aware when she contacted it,she say no.The only thing is that my mind keep telling me that she used trick on me,as she might have known that she knew that she have it before we got married,and thats why i am very annouyed over the whole issue.Sounding as if i m a 'MUGU' and 'MUGU' don fall.

This one no be matter of been MUGU, Go and consult.
By the way, why are u dobting ur wife? if she told u she didn't know how and when she contacted it why dont u wanna believe her? I beleive that, if ur wife had trusted u so much, she wouldn't ve kept it from u all these while.
Since u discovered, u ve been behaving strange asking. I still dobt if u ae not infected since two yrs sleeping with her fresh

I am not going to even think about it.