GHoJes:
Where are the older three children of the woman? I am asking because if she has dumped them somewhere she will one day return this to your husband's.

My main fear is let it not be you getting your fingers burnt by yourself. I won't be surprised if that friend is still giving the lady support. Even though you want to do right be very careful because that lady has found a very fertile ground for her plans. Are you surprised she still has mouth? She feels because you guys don't have kids your husband can't do without her. She feels he is coming now because he doesn't have kids so if she doesn't use the opportunity of marriage now where else will she go? Which is why she said he knows the right thing to do.

Please, please, shock this lady. If she rebuff this next attempt by your marriage sponsors please don't ever again think about the child till a good number of years when she would have seen that you guys can do without her that's is if she has not come to dump him due to financial challenges.

Please let sleeping dogs lie. You are already waking so many people's attention to the need for your husband to have his own child, it may only be a matter of time before some of these people take it further with your husband behind your back. Forget she doesn't have a good record of wife material, the one she has now which is trusted ability to birth kids is the one they will request. The lady knows your husband is weak willed, try as much as possible to even avoid him meeting her before she spin things out of proportion using the child as a bait.

Focus on getting your surrogate child, then you can see how to bring up the other one. Even if she agrees to DNA now, and it is your husband's don't be hasty to bring him to the family house. Monthly allowance can be sent until the boy is a little bit grown. My own is don't by yourself worsen things.

sassysure:
U have fibroid and weak cervix.
As u are trying for a child since u already know what the problem is, why not go for adoption or surrogacy?
Why do u ladies make things very difficult for yourselves?

At the end of the day, the man did what more than 95% of men sympathizing with you here will do behind their wives back and then strike at the right time.

He may tell u some pity party story but the truth is he want a child. He hasn't stopped loving u o, but he want a child. So u should have started using your sixth sense from yr 3 of your marriage.

The only man that will stick to a woman come rain come sunshine without a child is a man one who the problem is from his side. That is when u will see him.professing love here and there.

Go for adoption.

U have nothing to do with the child.

Let love and emotions not rule and control you. Day is still far. More children may still pop out.

heavenlychy:
I see you really love this man and I'm not here to tell you to love him less but can you please tune it down with your constant calling him a 'Good man'. This man cheated on you for months. He had 'Unprotected sex' with a stranger and covered it all up. Pretended right down to his balls. What if he contacted Hiv or any of these deadly diseases? Mehn, if I were you, I would be very afraid of such a man. I know it is the childlessness that is making you cope with all this bullshit. I pray the Good Lord gives you your own child. As for him, he did the crime, let him do the time.

Massey27:


Thank you so much. I think using the word good makes him look like a saint. And I apologise for that.

I would have contracted a deadly illness. I agree and i still have an unforgiveness in my heart towards him because of that. I keep going for test every month. Knowing the kind of life the lady in question lives and I was put at risk.

I didn't stay because of the childlessness. I stayed because I found more than 80% of what I wanted in a man. And he is sorry, he has shown he is. I don't need a Prophet telling me.

You won't understand what I made him go through because of his betrayal. And he actually went through alot.

And the truth is even his family and people close to us were surprised he did what he did. He is not known with that.

In as much as he betrayed me , I don't want the iniquity of the sin committed to linger. He should do right by his child. It hurts me talking about it and wanting him involved in the child's life but I no want old age wahala from any pickin that will raise up one day and start causing problems for me because he was neglected.

Thank you again for your advice.

Blakjewelry:
let your hubby go for DNA test and if it is positive let him accept the child. and for you, what belongs to your hubby belongs to you.

As for me giving love is the easiest thing for me to do. I have seen women in your situation blessed with their own child after accepting the child of there husband. Yes he cheated which is bad and it hurts but since he did not leave you for another woman shows he really care about you, some will be the complete opposite

CorporateJay:



This comment stupid die

Massey27:


Thank you.
I admit I was angry at my family for hiding it from me and I actually felt betrayed. But I have forgiven them.

For his ex friend, we later discovered so many negative things he was doing behind hubby's back. when he discovered I have found out, he actually said he would have loved to see me and see the pain and hurt on my face.
He was not who we thought him to be. It's not just about him telling my family, he went all out to say despicable things about hubby to our greatest benefactor that we also got to know which were all lies.
And we loved them like family and treated them as such.
The wife who was also my friend called me when she knew I have finally found out and told me that at least she is not the only one in this. That finally I have joined the club of wives with cheating husband. And she believes now I will agree with her that every man cheats and not just some like I used to argue.
So I didn't want to have such friends around me again.